Title: I Tried
Summary: I tried, Jacob; I tried so hard to stay with you. But sometimes… sometimes it's just time to let go, you know? I'm so sorry. Maybe someday, you'll forgive me for breaking my promise. Maybe someday, you'll forgive me for leaving you.
Word Count: 498
Rating: M for sensitive, adult topics. Nothing in this fic is meant to be offensive — to anyone. At all.
Disclaimer: All copyrights, trademarked items or recognizable characters, plots, etc. mentioned herein belong to their respective owners. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted without their express written authorization.
Translation: I don't own.

Oh, and I highly recommend listening to the song 'Once Upon a December' while reading this fic. Strangely, it adds a lot to the mood.


I tried, Jacob.

I was in Port Angeles for a reason, you know. That's one less thing to regret; I know if it had been some stupid, worthless outing, everything would be even worse. I was there because I was buying you an anniversary present. Sad, right? We never hit the one-year mark.

We won't, now.

So anyway, I was by the music store. You know where I'm talking about. Our favorite, right near that restaurant Bella Italia. The store run by that big guy and his wife; she had blonde highlights, remember? The store where we used to spend hours together, arguing over CDs. You liked classic rock, I liked Indie. We were both so stubborn.

I still say Death Cab for Cutie is way better than Queen.

Doesn't matter much now, though, does it?

I found you the perfect present, Jake. Won't tell you what it is-was-because it's too late now. It's gone.

They took everything from me.

It was already dark when I left the store, and I was stupid. I saw this ice cream place a few streets down, and I thought, hey, why not? I wanted to surprise you. I wanted you to come home to a candlelit dinner (romantic, right? And you always hated the mushy stuff…) and me, and a tub of your favorite ice cream for dessert. Mint chip. Yet another thing you loved and I despised. I did love, though, that beautiful expression on your face when I fed it to you spoonful by spoonful.

Memories of that face kept me going in the end, Jake. I imagined you and I felt warm and safe.

I wasn't, though, not really. Because I never made it to the ice cream store.

I heard them before I saw them. I won't tell you their names, because I don't want you hunting them down for revenge. Please, for me. All I can say is that we knew them once.

And they were drunk.

A bunch of kids, really. They were in our graduating class so they couldn't have been more than-what? Twenty? Twenty-one? Our age, Jacob.

There were four of them.

I know the police will find my body, Jake. I know they'll be confused because this sort of crime is more often than not never solved. I know you want to know.

They told me why. As they were hurting me, they told me why.

It was because of us. It was because of who I loved, who I was. Things I couldn't control.

It was because of their prejudice and blind hatred.

It wasn't your fault, Jacob.

I mean, sure. If I were different, if we weren't together, I'd still be alive today. I wouldn't have been attacked and brutally murdered in an alleyway.

But you know what? I don't regret one second, Jake, and I hope you don't either. Because we were worth it, for the short time we had. It was enough.

Please don't stop loving me.