Spoilers: Up to 2x15.

Pairing(s): Sam/Rachel. Previous Rachel/Finn, Sam/Quinn, and Sam/Santana. First attempt at a Crack!Pairing. I was dared and I never back down from a dare.

Sypnosis: In the wake of Santana's outting of her true feelings for Brittany and the inevitable reunion of Quinn and Finn, Sam finds himself confused and feeling like a loser. After some encounters with a certain brunette with some offered advice, he realizes that it might not be so bad. Moments of conversation that build into something promising.

One-shot, but possible continuation based on feed-back.









Sam was quite certain by now that his luck with girls had been officially cursed upon his arrival at McKinley.

Because now his track record was at an impressive 0 and 2.

It wasn't just the popularity that had left his ego considerably bruised; it was also the fact that he had confessed his feelings for a girl for the first time and he had been cheated on. And by the worst person possible. Because he had certainly been in a rocky friendship with Finn before the discovery of their indescretions were finally brought to light. Because at first he thought Finn was a nice guy, because he tried to offer him advice when everyone else had seen him as the new outsider of the football team and New Directions.

Sam had genuinely appreciated it; he might not have agreed with everything Finn had said, but he certainly respected his leadership skills.

But as the year progressed he had grown increasingly frustrated with the taller boy.

Because he knew Finn's absence from the confrontation with Karofsky certainly couldn't have been a coincidence. And a small tidbit of Sam had thought that the boy was a hypocrite when he had ended his relationship with Rachel Berry because she had made out with Puck. He didn't think the girl was entirely right either, but he had heard rumors that Finn had kissed Rachel when he was with Quinn and also dumped Rachel for a date with Santana and Brittany.

But despite his opinion on the matter, he was a nice guy; he stayed out of things and tried to stay friends with everyone on both sides of the line drawn.

But he became especially irked when the boy did absolutely nothing to stop the dispute between the football team and New Directions.

So the blonde boy did what he thought was right and tried to call him out on it and step in and help clean-up the carnage of anger and misunderstandings that was left.

But what truly ran rampant in Sam's mind on a consistant basis was the fact that everyone still looked up to Finn. The boy could do absolutely no wrong in anyone's eyes and Sam didn't think that was fair. He wouldn't deny that all of them had their flaws and their disappointments; his problem was somehow Finn could repeatedly disappoint and then finally pull a stunt at the very end that had people forgive and forget.

But Sam would never forgive and forget after what the boy had done to him.

All he could remember was wanting to slap the wannabe arrogant smirk off the boy's face; Finn had claimed that Quinn 'saved' his life and then walked away with that knowing look.

Hypocrite! His mind had screamed.

Luckily, later that day he had a little insight...

Sam slowly pulled his purple hoody over his head and silently made his way to the auditorium.

After his little performance of the Justin Bieber Experience in the choir room, he really wanted to practice some more. And maybe a small part of him just wanted to get away from it all. Because his denial of the whole situation just kept lodging a lump in his throat and it made his mouth ridiculously dry with nervousness. He wasn't stupid. He saw the look of awe on Quinn's face after he had performed and he had seen the way that Finn had glanced at her like a wounded puppy. He had then seen the boy 'subtly' glower in his direction. It made him slightly smug; it also left a large ball of fore-boding erupt in his stomach.

And if he had to keep this Justin Bieber thing going in order to be a step ahead of Finn, then he definitely would.

Because he was tired of being just another faceless jock to everyone. He was tired of his own girlfriend's patronizing tones towards him; he wanted to prove that he wasn't just a pretty boy and that she couldn't just push him around like she had done with her past boyfriends. Because that was Sam's goal. He wanted to be different from anyone - Finn, more like - that she had been with.

He felt an embarrassingly shaky breath leave his body as he dropped his bag on a chair in the front row.

Quinn may not be the perfect girl - she was a bitch, a religous force to be reckoned with - but she was still his girl. And God, her eyes...

But as he bent down and stretched his legs in preparation for his inevitable dancing practice, he heard a throat clear behind him.

He cursed inwardly because he hadn't even noticed the piano placed on the very corner of the stage; it was obscured slightly by the curtains, so he reasoned that was why. He shoved his hands in his pockets and nodded his head awkwardly at the girl poached just as awkwardly on the piano bench. Rachel seemed to be surveying him and she gave a polite nod to him after a moment of awkward silence.

"You were honestly the last person I expected to grace the auditorium, Sam," murmured Rachel, her voice suprisingly not boisterous for once.

"I-I just wanted to practice, you know?" He didn't really know what to say to the girl.

Rachel nodded at his excuse and turned around to gather her sheet music off the piano lid. She clumsily put it in her bag and she rose to her feet fluidly. She began walking towards the stage steps slowly and she looked back over her shoulder and shot him a respectful nod and a soft smile of encouragement. Sam oddly enough didn't want the brunette to leave, because if anyone knew Finn - and Quinn, as well - then it would most certainly be Rachel Berry. And despite the fact that he had never truly had a conversation with the girl - 'cause she was somewhat annoying, respectfully said of course - he knew that she was good at being blunt to the point of offending people.

And that's really what he needed right now; he needed someone to be honest with him, because nobody seemed to want to lately.

"Wait!" His voice was slightly nervous.

Rachel paused on the last step and her face was seemingly suprised.

"I-I just," stumbled Sam, clearing his throat awkwardly, "I just needed some advice on something."

Her eyes brightened slightly and her mouth slid slowly into a smile of happiness; he surmised that probably not many asked her for advice. But as he shifted awkwardly from one foot to the other, and shamefully his expression of sadness might have given him away, he watched as her look of happiness faded into a look of undescribable knowing.

"This is about Finn and Quinn, isn't it?" Her expression was knowing but her voice was hesitant.

"Y-yeah, I just wanted to know some things," mumbled Sam, embarrassed. He wanted to deny that this was about them, but it was. "I just want someone to actually be honest with me."

Her mouth opened to say something and then she unexpectedly closed it. She seemed to be struggling to say something, like it was as painful for her as it was for him. Sam realized that it most certainly was. Because she had already been down this road before, and this was only his first time down the destructive road that was Finn and Quinn.

"Did," began Sam, his voice quiet and his mind absolutely craving the answer, "I-I mean did you know that this might happen?"

Rachel seemed to sigh shakily. "I can't say that I'm significantly suprised with this recent update of events."

"Do you think it was something that we did?" He hated that his voice sounded so faint.

Her eyes seemed to widen and her face transformed into one of incredulousness. Her brows instantly furrowed into a frown and she began to walk towards him hesitantly; she reached out and gently grasped his elbow when she got within a foot of him. He averted his eyes and he shuffled awkwardly as she tugged his body back to face her. Her eyes looked suprisingly thunderous and her expression conveyed a stubborness that he honestly had never witnessed before; except that one time he had seen Rachel face Mercedes in the diva-off. He found an odd strength off of that look.

"No," she stated, her voice was firm. "It was nothing that we did; it was nothing we could have really avoided either because it's not uncommon for lingering feelings to suddenly rear up -"

"But they said they were over each other," grumbled the blonde, slightly irritated at the two in question.

Rachel just sighed and looked slightly bitter. "With the way they ended last year, a part of me was waiting for this to happen; admittedly I thought it would be in the form of closure."

"Yeah," growled Sam, the anger continuously building. "Closure for what they ruined and not another had their shot and now it should be our turn."

He saw the expression of agreement grace her features and in that undescribable moment, he felt a slight bond build up between them. And despite the fact that he was angry and he found her to be slightly loud and obnoxious at times, he felt the tug of his hearstrings that signified finding a kindred spirit in another. Maybe, just maybe, they could be friends if they truly wanted to.

And after that conversation with Rachel that day, he felt less alone than before.

It still hadn't stopped him from listening to Santana, however.

And even though the Latina had pushed him until he admitted out loud that Quinn was lying, a part of him knew that it was actually Rachel that had made him see it. They had parted that day with a respectful smile towards each other, because they were both waving heart-break flags and watching the dust of the retreat of their former lovers.

And despite the fact that he had been happy about his newfound connection with Rachel as a potential friend, he had still immediately taken Santana's offer. Because even though she treated him like absolute shit, at least she was completely real and honest with the way she felt about him. Which was saying she liked being physical.

She wasn't like Quinn; evasive, mysterious, and frustrating beyond compare.

And the fact that she seemingly wanted someone else - he couldn't figure out who, though- it seemed like a nice little deal. Plus, it was nice actually getting a little something something.

It was also a bonus seeing the look on Quinn's face when she constantly surveyed them together. It was like she had just eaten something sour and the look on Finn's face was even more sweet. Sam couldn't help but be slightly smug that Quinn turned down Finn for him, despite the fact that he did dump her in the end. After their little reunion, he told himself that he's not that shallow when he happily notices Quinn's stony expressions at Santana. Because in his eyes she deserves it. Though at times it also reminded him the differences between Rachel and him.

It was the night of Rachel Berry's Trainwreck Extravaganza.

And Sam had felt a little pity for his newfound friend when she had presented her basement while wearing a hidiously old dress.

So when she had that hurt expression on her face when everyone had begun to leave, he had captured her attention and had tilted his head toward the alcohol. She had looked reluctant at first; in the end she had given him a grateful look after everyone had begun walking back and taking the offered alcohol. He had returned her smile with a smile of his own.

'Thank you,' she mouthed.

He had merely winked at her and turned his attentions back on an already drinking Santana. And with the amount of tequila she was consuming, he knew he was in for a long - albeit exciting - night. And the more alcohol his new girlfriend drank the more affectionate she began to get with Sam. It had gotten to the point of her straddling his lap and kissing him quite passionately while Quinn was shooting fire out of her hazel eyes and chugging back her own beer with a renowned vigor of a woman who was either ridiculously depressed or completely pissed. He hated to admit that he liked her jealousy.

But when Santana had gone off - presumably to find Brittany - and left him by himself on the couch, the spot next to him sunk in with the weight of an inebriated Rachel.

She was giving him a disapproving look. "Y-you know that I don't a-agree with what you're doing, right?"

"You're drunk," he grinned, trying to not let his own drunken state show.

"Yes, I am," grinned Rachel, her shoulders puffed up proudly. "And you s-should stop trying to change the subject. I-I'm extraordinaringly a-articulate when I'm under the influence."

Sam couldn't help but let a little giggle escape him, causing Rachel to burst into a round of raucious laughter. They were leaning on each other now and were huffing and panting for air as more than a few curious glances made their way over to them. Sam didn't care, because he had a friend who understood what he was going through; it was nice.

Rachel leaned her head on his shoulder, and her voice grew suprisingly quiet and serious. "B-but really, Sam. The more you mess around the more it hurts."

"But-but I'm fine," mumbled Sam. "Really, I think I am."

He felt Rachel pull her head back off his shoulder to look at him; her eyes were glazed and her face was flushed from the alcohol consumption. Despite all of that though, she was still giving him a serious look and he once again felt that bond pull at his heart-strings as he surveyed ker knowledgeable expression.

"I-I may not be Quinn's biggest fan, but I know that you always have feelings for your first."

Her eyes - suprisingly - gestured subtly at the form of Finn; he was leaning on the counter. And his gaze was aimed searingly onto Quinn, whose gaze was aimed on the couch; you would have to be completely oblivious if you didn't notice the way her eyes would meet Finn's from time to time across the foyer.

"I would r-rather be doing what I'm doing then just waiting for it to c-come back. I won't crawl back into anyone's arms. Even Quinn."

Rachel's eyes seemed to reflect with a slight sheen of hurt. He realized that she might have interpreted his comment at being aimed towards her. And that was not initially intent. But it took a second to full grasp at how true the words really were; while he seemed to fuck the pain away she seemed to just wait. That's all she ever seemed to do was wait; if Sam knew anything it was that Finn was the least deserving person of someone waiting on him romantically because he could never choose between two women and he took them both for granted.

"You should move on," he mumbled, not quite conveying the message he wanted to convey.

"Easier said than done," snorted Rachel, her expression bitter as she took a rather long sip of her alcoholic beverage in her hand.

"It's because you're better than him, Rachel. It's always gonna be you waiting on his choice. You should at least be waiting on someone else to come along instead of him to come back."

Her breathing seemed to hitch and she was looking at him with teary eyes. But she seemed to be looking at hm with a slight awe in her eyes, as if she hadn't even thought of it herself; maybe she had been so blinded by Finn Hudson that she had been unconsciously waiting on him even if he wasn't hers to wait on. Sam was here to wake her up.

She was swiftly on her feet. "As my friend I demand that y-you sing a duet with me, Sam."

He grinned. Maybe things weren't so bad.

And then came the whirlwind of confusion that was Santana and Brittany.

But still, at least she had been outright truthful to him when she said that she couldn't be doing this with him anymore.

For the first time ever he had seen Santana Lopez be completely honorable and tell him that she was in love with someone else. He couldn't bring himself to be too hurt, because you had to be absolutely blind not to notice the chemistry between her and Brittany. His ego wasn't exactly happy about it, but at least he could take it and mutually give her a respectful response back.

He couldn't help but feel a little pity for the girl as he watched her longing expression towards the blonde perched in Artie's lap.

He had been there; they most certainly weren't friends like he and Rachel but it was still another kindred spirit.

"You know that I'm...like, totally cool with that right?" He made his voice seem optimistic for the obvious downtrodden girl in front of him.

"Of course you're totally cool with girl on girl action, Sammy," sneered Santana, her expression contorted in disgust. They were currently leaning on a couple of lockers before class; they just mindlessly watched as people walked by and hurried off to their classes. Santana looked slightly depressed as Artie and Brittany drifted by; Brittany had looked back and had gazed sadly at Santana.

"No," he denied. "I just mean that I really don't care that you're - you know -"

"Gay?" Her voice was characteristically snarky.

"Yeah," smiled Sam. "I really do support you and if you ever need any help or anything, then I'm here."

"Well isn't that touching?" She punched his arm and began walking away in her customary swagger.

"You're welcome," he shouted towards her retreating back.

He was faintly suprised when her head turned back and her gaze expressed her secret gratefulness at his support. Her lips quirked up at the corners and she gave him a nod; he returned it with a shy smile of his own and she seemed to - fondly - roll her eyes at him as she turned her head back around and kept walking along on her merry way. He turned back towards his locker with the poster of Avatar on the inside and shut it gently. He felt slightly accomplished and he felt like he had genuinely done something good that day; that was a rare feeling unless he was in the company of Rachel. And it was nice that something beside Rachel could take his mind off of Finn and Quinn for the first time in a few weeks. He honestly wished that he could keep this peace of mind the entire day.

And suprisingly that peace of mind had followed him the entire week.

And between hanging out with Rachel randomly and having Santana secretely in his corner, he honestly felt on top of the world that week.

Because he had sadly realized that truly didn't possess a whole lot of true friends. He kind of had been with Finn before he kissed Quinn; he kind of had been with Kurt too before the boy had been transferred to Dalton Academy. And Sam didn't really hear anything about the boy unless it was from Rachel. And him and Puck had never really properly conversed with each other. And it pained Sam to admit that Quinn had honestly been his friend as well as his girlfriend. Because she may have walked all over him when she was with him - she was demanding, but she had her sweet moments - but she had seemingly liked his dorkiness when they were together.

It at least made him feel less miserable when he realized that she had genuinely liked him.

She just wanted Finn more, apparently.

But the anger had soared through his veins and had set his body alight with fire when the two had officially came back the next day as an official couple.

Sam was scowling and delivering his punches with a pronounced vigor as he accurately imagined Finn's face being the target.

One punch. This one hit Finn's eye and it cause an extraordinary amount of bruising to surround the skin. The muscles in his arm had strained after the explosive hit and he could vividly imagine the tall form of Finn hitting the ground with a massive thud that echoed off the walls.

Two. This one hit Finn in the nose and it took a milli-second before a nice burst of blood trailed down Hudson's mouth and leaked onto the clean floor. He could vividly imagine a pool beginning to gather and he could almost hear the groan that followed his explosively painful hit. He only wished that the boy would fight back so that Sam could say that he actually fought Finn fair and square and won this time without Finn cheating to win.

He grunted and hit the punching bag a third time.

He swerved around swiftly when he heard the awkward shuffling behind him and a soft cough follow it. His eyes widened slightly and he tried to get his strenous breathing under control. Rachel just continued to look slightly disapproving - if not a little angry herself - as she watched him lean against the punching bag heavily as he tried desperately to catch his breath. She seemed to wring her hands together nervously and she sighed as she stepped towards him and looked at him with a gentle expression.

"Upon witnessing your aggression I have concluded the fact that you have heard the news of Quinn and Finn."

Sam snorted. "More like I hadn't heard but I quickly caught on after I saw them kissing before Algebra."

Rachel winced. "That's how I found out, too."

Sam ground his teeth together and he chanced a look up at his friend. Her expression - though more hidden - still expressed a fair bit of pain. He felt his breath completely leave his chest as he saw the beginnings of tears fill her eyes as she swiftly turned her head in the opposite direction and unsteadily crossed her arms. He really watched her for the first time in life; she was obnoxious, but she was a kind human being if you truly got to know her. She talked quite a bit more than she should, but when the right moments came she seemed to know exactly what to say to help inspire you.

She was his friend and hero.

And when he heard the sound of an attempted - and failed - stifle of a sniffle, he straightened himself and walked towards her. He forgot that he was a sweaty mess as he surged forward and hugged her for the first time in his entire life. Her breath seemingly stopped for a minute and her entire body froze as he kept his arms tightly around her.

"Screw them," whispered Sam, his voice fierce. "Screw them, Rachel. We deserve better than two people who seemed to thrive on leading on other people."

Rachel, after a moment of hesitation, wrapped her arms tight around Sam's waist and returned the forceful hug that was bestowed upon her.

The blonde boy just glared at the wall angrily and held Rachel tighter; he ignored the odd feeling in his stomach and the gentle nuzzling of Rachel's face against his neck. He was trying to keep a tight rein on his negative - the majority being anger and hurt - emotions and focus on comforting his equally hurt counter-part. He just closed his eyes and tried to calm the raging storm by burying his face in her brunette locks.

His raging emotions somewhat overmined the sudden butterflies in his stomach.

And after that him and Rachel had become unseperable.

But Sam didn't care that they were being speculated upon; he heard that the majority thought that they were trying to make Quinn and Finn jealous.

Well they certainly weren't. Because him and Rachel had determinedly ignored the way Finn and Quinn's hands would grasp each others in the hallway. And Rachel had determinedly - and repeatedly - grasped Sam in hugs whenever they both witnessed a particular gruesome encounter of PDA from the couple.

It was annoying because his stomach would somersault whenever this particular action occured.

Well...and maybe other times as well.

Rachel was staring at his locker with a bemused expression on her face.

Sam was beginning to feel slightly self-conscious at the way the girl just kept gazing at his Avatar and Dark Knight Posters.

He cleared his throat when she quirked an eyebrow at the Na'vi encyclopedia that currently laid at the bottom of his locker. He felt a warm flush cover his face and he hurriedly closed the locker; he had seen that curious expression on her face and he just knew that she was about to grab it and look through it. He hated this feeling; like he needed to impress someone and not act like a complete ass. It was hard for him because Rachel was Rachel and she made him feel comfortable before all this weirdness began to take over.

"So...you like Avatar, I presume?"

Her expression was something he had never seen before on her. She looked...nervous. And she was wringing her hands together once more and was glancing away; her entire body language just screamed vulnerability and it was something that Sam had never encountered from her before. It was slightly unnerving.

"Uh, yeah," he mumbled shyly.

She glanced up at him and her expression contorted into something...affectionate...as she gazed at his shy and embarrassed fidgeting. He just clutched the straps of his back-pack nervously and he released a soft breath; the warning bell rang above their heads and Rachel seemed to jump as if she had been on a whole other planet.

"I can try and refrain on speaking the language and stuff if you wanted -"

"No!" Rachel's voice was slightly high-pitched and her expression was flushed. "You don't have to be a different around me, Sam. If you can put up with my Broadway rants then I can handle this."

Sam couldn't stop a wide grin from breaking across his features. It was nice to hear that from someone other than Quinn for once. Well, Quinn had smiled every once in awhile and the after a short period she would be seemingly annoyed. But Rachel was now looking at his bright smile with one of her own; her eyes were twinkling too happily for someone who had just been slushied at school twice today.

But needless to say, something odd had been going on since Rachel's acceptance of his dorky side.

Sometimes she would grasp his hand when Mr. Schuester would - rarely - announce a musical number that she actually approved of.

And sometimes she would just randomly hug him before class; as of three days ago she had progressed to kissing him on the cheek as well. And whenever Sam actually convinced her to finally watch the Dark Knight she finally gave in and rolled her eyes when he literally jumped up and down. She had rested her head on his shoulder during the movie; she had to repeatedly remove it because Sam shifted excitedly whenever the Joker would grace the screen. But she didn't seem to mind, because she would smile softly and she would pat his hand affectionately.

And then he had agreed to watch Funny Girl; she had asked him shyly and she had looked prepared for laughter and/or rejection.

Her eyes had glowed ridiculously bright and she smiled widely when he simply said, "I don't care; it's your turn to choose."

And he didn't care that Quinn would purse her lips almost imperceptively when she noticed Rachel grasp his hand in the hallways. And he didn't care that Finn still threw him smug smirks whenever he noticed a slight bite mark on Quinn's neck. He would just smirk smugly back when Finn's eyes narrowed at him when Rachel would kiss his cheek and compliment his voice.

And he didn't care that he still got disbelieving looks from the rest of New Directions.

But he certainly cared - and it showed with bruised knuckles - whenever the assholes from the football team would make a degrading commenst towards Rachel.

But he couldn't bring himself to care concerning the cat-whistles in the hallway when he finally kissed Rachel for the first time.

Sam labeled his dyslexia and his random impulses as the two worst things in his life.

Because he could only really come up with that single thought after he had pressed his lips to Rachel's for the first time. Well, truthfully he hadn't been able to properly think of hardly anything when he had first pressed his lips to Rachel's. Because her full lips had enveloped his full lips and at first it was awkward because it was unexpected; but when he regained his bearings and was about to pull away in mortification she had exhaled pleasurably against his lips and her hands cupped his neck gently and pulled him closer.

He heard the distant sounds of cat-calls and slammed lockers.

But he couldn't really be too concerned as lips seemed to lead his softly and her tongue gently lapped over his bottom lip gently.

They finally pulled apart and Rachel's expression was slightly dazed, if not completely and utterly bright. And Sam was pretty sure his expression matched hers as she gazed up at him.

He cleared his throat awkwardly. "You're a good kisser."

Rachel's smile was bright and she smiled affectionately on seeing his adorably shy expression. She gently reached down and grasped at his hand gently and tugged him closer so that she could kiss his cheek. He felt his nervousness slowly fade when she began walking away and was still facing him as she walked backwards. She was gazing at him intensely and she raised her hand in a devious wave and finally winked at him when she turned back around.

He dazedly leaned up against his locker after she had disappeared around the corner.

She didn't even let him question his doubts over what happened when she had grabbed his hand and said that he was taking her to Breadsticks that night.

And he didn't care if he was a loser for liking and being with Rachel, because if he was then he was a happy loser.













The End. Maybe, I dunno.