Boredom and Letter Openers

A/N: This story is dedicated to BeautyOfTheDark-KLM. The idea sprung up from something she said in a review to another one of my stories. Enjoy and please review on your way out. Thanks!

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Tony was bored. They had been doing paperwork all day and it was only 1400 hours, there was no way Gibbs was going to let them go home before 1700 – and he had no idea what he is going to do for the next three hours as he had already played online poker, solitaire and watched silent YouTube videos until he was sick of all of it. He looked up at his two team members; Ziva and McGee appeared to be working diligently on their computers, but he knew McGee was playing an online fantasy game while Ziva was reading news stories and catching up on her personal email. He glanced at Gibb's who also appeared to be working - designing a new boat was Tony's best guess. If Vance happened to look down into the bullpen he would see his MCRT team hard at work.

Desperate times call for desperate measures, so he decided to indulge his secret obsession – reading online Hollywood gossip. He rationalized that it only made sense that he would be interested in the personal lives of his favorite stars; it was just an extension of his fascination with all things cinema.

He pulled up his favorite site – TMZ – they always had the best gossip complete with pictures and video. The third article caught his attention right away:

Hollywood insider reveals that the movie rights to the best-selling novel Deep Six are currently being negotiated with author Thom E. Gemcity. The movie rights are at the heart of a bidding war between production studios with the insider speculating a selling price in the tens of millions of dollars. When asked about the rumors, Macy Grayson, publicist for Mr. Gemcity had no comment.

Tony choked on the diet coke he was drinking and started coughing uncontrollably. Ziva looked up and asked worriedly "Are you ok?" Tony continued to cough but nodded his head in the affirmative while pointing to the can of diet coke – Ziva seemed to get the message and she returned to her reading.

Once Tony had finally cleared his airway he looked over at McGee aka Thom E. Gemcity himself. McGee was oblivious to the fact that Tony was staring at him open mouthed. Tony couldn't believe it - they were actually going to make a movie out of Deep Six and pay McGee tens of millions of dollars for the privilege?

Tony quickly copied the article link and emailed it over to Ziva marked as urgent and leaned back in his chair and waited for her reaction - this was going to be good. He knew the second that she had read the article as she snorted in indignation and looked up at him with murder in her dark eyes. He responded with raised eyebrows and a glance over to McGee. An unspoken message passed between the two as the rose simultaneously and stalked over to McGee's desk, Tony was surprised when Gibbs didn't even look up from his computer.

Tony and Ziva stopped in front of McGee's desk and both of them glared at him until he looked up expectedly "What?" he asked innocently

Ziva leaned in close and whispered in McGee's face "You - are a dead man."

McGee's face drained of all color and he pushed his chair back to put some space between himself and Ziva.

"What did I do?" he stammered

Tony leaned forward putting both hands on McGee's desk and stared down menacingly at McGee "It is what you are going to do that could possibly result in our ninja maiming you with the nearest office product."

Hearing that Ziva picked up McGee's letter opener and started twirling it expertly between her fingers, Tony had to admit it was intimidating – and hot.

McGee looked over to Gibbs who was still staring at his computer and pretending not to notice what was happening four feet from his desk – he would get no help there.

McGee looked at Ziva and Tony with such a frightened perplexed face that Tony almost felt sorry for him – almost.

Ziva continued to twirl the letter opener and she stepped around so that she was now standing behind McGee, she leaned down and got her mouth very close to McGee's ear and whispered "When were you going to tell us that you are putting your ridiculous characterizations of us on the big screen for all the world to see?"

Tony was proud of her use of "big screen" in reference to the movies, his grasshopper was learning.

McGee suddenly looked relieved "Oh that. That's not gonna happen"

Tony tapped the top of McGee's computer "According to industry insiders you are negotiating right now and the pay-off is expected to be in the tens of millions of dollars"

Gibbs snorted, they all turned to look at him, but he was still engrossed in whatever he was doing on his computer so Tony and Ziva turned back to McGee.

McGee raised his hands in supplication "It's not completely true, my publicist is just saying that to get excitement up for the sequel" - as soon as the words were out of his mouth, he regretted them as Ziva inhaled sharply "A sequel? There is a sequel?"

"McNovel you better let us read that thing before it goes into print" said Tony

McGee looked sheepish "Too late, the first printing has already been done"

Ziva murmured '"My Aunt Nettie will have a horse"

"You mean cow" offered McGee

"Whatever. She will be upset."

"I thought she liked the book, I sent her a signed copy"

"Yes, that is the problem. She will be upset that I did not let her know that there would be a second one, she likes to brag to her friends that she knows a famous novelist" huffed Ziva.

"When do we get to read it?" asked Tony "And don't tell me I can read it when it's published - if you want to reproduce at some point in the future." Tony looked over at Ziva who quickly pointed the tip of the letter opener at McGee's crotch. McGee rolled back some more and carefully lifted his backpack from the floor and extracted a bound manuscript.

"Here, this is my author's edition, please…"

He was interrupted by Tony quickly grabbing the manuscript and he and Ziva began paging through it intently. "Be careful with that, it is my only copy" pleaded McGee.

Tony gave him a playfully disdainful look over his shoulder as he and Ziva turned to walk away.

"Boss, Ziva and I are going down to the break room – want anything?" questioned Tony

"Nope" replied Gibbs not even looking up from his computer.

Once the elevator dinged signaling their exit, McGee released his breath "Wow, they were really mad" he said to Gibbs

"Yup" Gibbs replied

"Would you have let Ziva use that letter opener on me Boss?" questioned McGee

Gibbs didn't answer; he just grinned and continued working on his computer

"Boss?" questioned McGee a second time – a little bit of tension in his voice

Again no answer was forthcoming from the boss man.

McGee sighed and returned to his fantasy game – sometimes it just didn't pay to let his creative juices flow.