Hey guys ^^ so this is my first FF in english I hope you enjoy it
and a big thanks to my honey kiss without you it would be horrible xD
so have fun ^^~
It was cold, but it did not interest him. No. He definitely had experienced worse winters before but not as lonely and hard as this one. The oil crisis had finally bring him to his knees. He didn't know how he managed it anymore but he had escaped at least for a few minutes from the clutches of the Russian.
He was deep in debs with his little brother and Russia made him more and more dependent on the Soviet Union. He could not be like this anymore. He didn't wanted to live like this anymore. It was not a condition for him. His pride was hurt in the extreme, his dignity was less and less.
Frustrated, he slumped against the wall.
Where exactly was he? He didn't know. Brandenburg? Saxony-Anhalt? Thuringia?
Finally, it did not matter.
In fact, he was fenced from this gray concrete wall.
Like a bird in a cage.
An eagle with clipped wings.
He put a hand on the cold concrete. He wanted to fly! He wanted to be free. He wanted to go back to him!
But it was all a dream. A wishful thinking that each time again was stifled by the atrocities of the Russian.
Gilbert closed his eyes and sank down the wall, leaned back against it. The spring guns couldn't care him less, they couldn't affect him anyway. Everyone knew that he could not escape.
How should an eagle fly over a wall when he was chained?
Gilbert sighed softly and looked into the sky looked yearning at the birds that flew freely.
He turned his gaze back to the earth, before his mind drifted and he began to sing softly.
„Spielt das Horn noch mal, (play the bugle again)
nur für mich allein. (only for me)
Seht mich an, (look at me)
ich werd niemals mehr derselbe sein." (I will never be the same)
He hesitated for a short time. Yes, he would probably never be the same again. He had seen and felt horrible things. He would always carry that burden around with he ever be free and fool around again, like he did in the old times? Thogether with his friends, his family, with everyone.
Just like back then. A gentle smile lay on his lips as he remembered how it was when they lifed to fourth in a house.
Ludwig, Feliciano, he and Roderich. At the thought of the brunette he had to swallow hard and his smile vanished abruptly.
Was he ok? Did he get over the split healthy? ... Did he miss him?
„Alles bleibt nun stehen, (everything stops now)
kann nicht weiter geh'n. ( I can't go further)
In dieser Einsamkeit (in this loneliness)
schlägt mein leeres Herz."( beats my empty heart)
Memories flashed through his head. Memories of togetherness. The first moment in which he wasn't alone anymore. A moment in which these fascinating amethyst coloured eyes looked at him so warm, so loving. For the first time in his life he had felt a warmth in his heart, it was so foreign but anything but unpleasant. He couldn't sort it out back then. He didn't know what Roderich had done with him at that moment. It took a long time 'till he finally understood it, 'till he was able to accept it. So long. He did hurt the Austrian, but despite all he has done to him he received him with open arms. He didn't shove him away as Gilbert had feared he would. A single tear ran down the porcelain-like skin. How he missed him, but he was not allowed to visit him for once.
He was completely isolated.
„Bin ein Krieger, so verwundet (I'm a soldier, so wounded)
kämpf' ich längst nicht mehr. ( I don't fight anymore)
Es ist vorbei für mich. (it's over for me)
Bringt mich nur fort. (take me away)
Ach, lasst mich einfach hier." ( just leave me here)
He didn't want to go, because this meant he had to go back to Russia. No, he preferred to stay here in the native cold, alone. But if he would come to take him away, he would follow. What should he do anyway? He can't do anything against Ivan. He was too weak, too dependent, too broken to fight against him. Even if he never admitted it. He hadn't to admit it , Ivan had already noticed, but he was happy again when Gilbert rebelled. It was fun for him. Again, Gilbert sighed. Let the wind play with his matted hair. With an empty gaze, he watched the play of the snowflakes. They appeared playful, free, unbound. Why had everything around him what he wanted?
„Spielt das Horn noch mal, (play the bugle again)
es ist mir egal. ( I don't care)
Die Wege dieser Welt ( the ways of this world)
führ'n mich nirgends hin." (lead me to nowhere)
Gilbert slid his gaze over the empty, snow-covered landscape. Why was he here? His real country didn't exist anymore, he was a prisoner of a brutal country and it's economy was crashed down. What should he fight for if it was so hopeless? It was rare that he allowed himself such a moment of weakness, but it had to be. He couldn't be like this anymore, he didn't want to be like this anylonger. He was human in some point as well and it was no one near by to relay on. He was lost.
„Ganz ohne Licht taumle ich ( I tumble, completely without light)
blind durchs dunkle Tal. (blind through the dark valley)
Ich leg mich hin (I lay down)
und weiß, es ist vorbei." (and know that it is over)
Slowly the cold of the snow began to penetrate through its thick clothes and lower the body temperature of the silver-haired. But it didn't bother him. Why should it anyway? What would it change? He had no reason to fight, right? What the Prussian did not notice, were quiet steps on the other side of the wall. Steps, which were attracted by an all too familiar voice. The sadness in it made the cloved hand clench into a fist. It was so painful to hear Gilbert like this, but not being able to do something. Carefully to cause not a noise, he put his hand on the wall.
„Aus schwarzer Nacht, (from the black night)
noch in weiter Ferne, (still far away)
ruft die Stimme mich: ..." (the voice calls me...)
„'Komm find zu dir zurück!" ( come, find back to yourself)
Gilbert's eyes widened when he heard the voice, which joined in with his song. He knew this voice too well. Immediately the Prussian stood up and turned towards the wall. That could not be, right? Did he hallucinate? No, certainly not! He was not weak enough. A smile settled on his lips. He was here. He missed him. But the main thing was, he was fine. How much he had missed his voice, how much he'd like to see him now. He would give everything to close him in his arms. He would go through everything just to have another chance to be able to taste the sweet lips. Leaning his forehead against the wall he closed his eyes, only to understand the voice of the Austrian better, to absurb it like the dessert the rare rain drops.
„Wenn du dich verlierst, (if you lose yourself)
wird dein Mut auch mit dir sinken (your brave will sink with you=
Also komm zu dir!'" (so wake up!)
A gentle smile lay on Roderich's lips and he stroke lightly over the wall, as if it could share this gesture to the Prussian. But unfortunately that was not the case. He would not give up yet. He would not let Gilbert down. This was also the reason why he always visited Ludwig, always with the hope to find the Prussian there, or at least, like today, to hear him again. He would help to get him back on his feet. Everything Prussia had to do was find the motivation and energy to fight again, even if it was hard.
„Sei ein Held, sei stark!" (be a hero, be strong!)
These words were in the air and Gilbert knew very well that it was what he needed. With a smile on his lips he put his hand on the wall. He did not know why, but he had the feeling that his hand was exactly on that of the Austrian. He did not know whether it was true, but as long as he had the feeling and it felt good, everything was all right. As long as it was like this he could smile.
The brunette was right. He had to be strong! There was a reason to fight, there was a reason not to give up, there was a reason to learn to fly again. How could he ever doubt it?
„Ein Soldat bin ich (I'm a soldier)
und diese Schlacht ist meine, ( and this fight is mine)
denn um frei zu sein, (because to be free)
setz ich alles ein!" ( I will do everything)
Yes! This was the attitude which Roderich wanted to hear from Gilbert, because it would bring him back.
Back home. Back to his family. Back to him.
"Come back soon.", the Austrians wispered softly, before he had to leave again.
Gilbert stood for a while before the wall, had to precress what just happened, but then after years finally a grin appeared on Gilbert's lips. He would bring the Russian down, as well as this wall!
He would come back.
the song is from spirit - stallion of the cimarron (sound the bugle)
I think it fits ^^
and I do like german songs for this pair maybe because I'm german xD
I hope you liked it to and will give me a small review x3