Disclaimer: Unfortunately, I do not own Glee or any of its lovely characters.
It was one of those days. One of those days when Kurt woke up and wished he hadn't. They came without warning, sometimes triggered by him having a particularly hard time at school or home, other times for no reason at all. He lay in bed, not wanting to get up at all. This day would be a bad one and being around people would only make it worse.
It was on these days that Kurt felt the worst about himself. He'd look at other boys and compare himself to them. He'd hear someone sing and wish his voice was different. He'd see a couple and tell himself he'd never be in their place. These days tore Kurt down.
So after laying in bed for a couple minutes and considering his options, Kurt decided to stay there instead of going to class. He quickly called the office to let them know he wouldn't be in class – "I've got a terrible cold." He said with a fake nasally voice over the phone. – and buried himself beneath the covers.
He didn't go back to sleep – he couldn't – he just lay there in the darkness hoping that maybe he could disappear into it. He simply stayed like that with low, depressing music on a constant loop (he had a specific playlist for days like this) and went in and out of consciousness. Out was always the best because it was the only time he wasn't thinking. Thinking of how worthless he was, how lonely he was. It was on days like this that all his darkest thoughts and worst insecurities came out. He could spend hours thinking of all of his worst traits. Some days he would think about his mom. How much he loved her, how much he missed her. How much easier things would be if she were still around. Other days he just put himself down.
Today was one of those days. All that had been on Kurt's mind all day was the things he didn't like about himself.
His pale white skin, his short stature, his high pitched feminine voice, his lack of muscle, the fact that he always fell for the wrong guys, the ones that would never like him back.
But then again, that would be all guys. No one would ever love him. Why should they? He was just a worthless, weak, waste of space. Courage my ass. He couldn't even stay at Mckinley because of ignorant bullies. If that wasn't cowardice, he didn't know what was.
It was in this state of self-hatred that Blaine found Kurt.
"Kurt?" he called through the door. He had texted him to tell him he was on his way but got to reply. His knocks got the same response. "Kurt? I just came to check on you, are you awake?" Still no reply. "Okay, I'm coming in."
Lucky for him, the door was actually unlocked. Blaine cautiously poked his head in before opening the door wider and stepping into the room. Kurt lay on the bed, rolled in a ball, his body completely covered by his comforter. Death Cab For Cutie's "What Sarah Said" filled the dark room, adding to the depressing mood.
Love is watching someone die. The lead singer crooned from the stereo.
"Kurt?" Blaine said again, making his way to the bed. He rested his hand on what he hoped to be Kurt's shoulder.
Kurt shifted and mumbled. "Go away."
"Are you okay?" Blaine asked. "I heard you were sick and I wanted to check up on you."
"Shut up and leave me alone." Kurt growled from beneath the covers.
Blaine took a step back in surprise. Kurt had never spoken to him that way before.
"Kurt, I just want to make sure you're feeling fine and—"
"Well I'm not." Kurt snapped. "So you can just leave me alone wallow in pain without you breathing down my neck in pity."
Blaine had had enough of this and yanked the covers off of Kurt's body. He was wearing royal blue silk pajamas wrinkled from sleep and a single white sock. His usually perfectly coiffed hair was an absolute mess, sticking up in every direction. His face was covered in bright red splotches from crying.
"What part of leave me alone don't you understand?" Kurt exclaimed.
"Kurt, what's wrong? You're snapping at me, skipping class, and listening to Death Cab For Cutie." Blaine said, sitting down beside Kurt's curled up body. "You're not even dressed. This isn't like you. What's going on?"
Suddenly Kurt's mood went from extremely mad to a still sadness.
"Just go away. It's not like you care." He said, his voice now softer.
"Of course I do, Kurt." Blaine insisted.
Kurt let out a twisted, sarcastic laugh.
"Yeah right. No one cares."
Blaine couldn't believe his ears. How in the world could Kurt be saying these things?
"Kurt, you don't honestly believe that do you?" Blaine asked, his voice soft.
Kurt's eyes tightened shut and he rolled over so his back was to Blaine.
"How could I not?" He mumbled. "No one loves me and no one ever will. There isn't a single thing about more worth loving in the first place."
Blaine was flabbergasted. He didn't even know what to say. Kurt was usually so confident and now…now he was saying things about himself nowhere near true.
"Kurt," Blaine said finally. No response. "Kurt, you listen to me." He placed his hand on Kurt's shoulder, forcing him to turn around again. "I love you. Because there are a million things to love about you."
"Oh yeah, like what?" Kurt glared at him, venom seeping through every word.
Blaine took a deep breath and let it out. Of course he wasn't lying, there were a million things he loved about Kurt. He'd just never said them out loud before. I suppose now is the time then. He thought to himself.
"I love your voice." He admitted. "Every time you sing I want to cry because it's just so beautiful. I love your wit and sarcasm. I love the confidence you carry. I love your fashion sense. You always look like you just stepped off a runway. I love how vulnerable you are when we talk about our pasts. I love how strong you are, even if you don't believe it. I love your intelligence and how easily it comes to you."
Once he started, it all just came tumbling out. Blaine didn't even have to think about it, the words just came on their own. The more he spoke, the more Kurt's face softened as he sat up.
"I love your hair, both when it's perfect and coiffed and when it's a mess like it is right now." Kurt raised a hand to fix it but Blaine stopped him, keeping his hand in his. "I love your smile. I love your pale skin and how easily I can make you blush, just like now. I love your height, not super tall but not short either. I love your attitude. I love your honestly and how blunt you are with people. I love that you can speak fluent French, which is probably the sexiest thing I've ever heard."
This time they both blushed but Blaine kept going. Kurt's grimace had been replaced by a small smile and his blues eyes remained locked on Blaine.
"I love yow big of a diva you are. I love that you think Harry Potter is cool. I love your relationship with your dad. I love how your voice changes and the look of wistful sadness you get when you tell me about your mom. I love that you're a hopeless romantic and a sucker for Titanic and The Notebook, even though by the end you're saying you never want to watch it again. I love your love for showtunes."
Finally, Blaine stopped and actually looked Kurt in the eyes.
"All of these things, Kurt…all of these things are what make me love you. You're absolutely perfect in every way and I want to be perfect for you too. You make me want to be a better person. So don't…please don't tell yourself that you're unloved or worthless or any of those things because it's not true. No matter what happens, I'm always going to be right here, absolutely in love with you. And I love you so much, it's okay that you don't love me back, so long as you know how I feel and you don't forget it. So don't, okay, Kurt? Don't forget it."
Kurt stared at him with huge eyes. They were both silent for a moment, unsure of what to say after so much had already been said. And then, without warning, Kurt put his hands on either side of Blaine's face and kissed him.
It wasn't a long makeout or anything. It wasn't like something out of a movie. It was just one soft kiss, barely even there. It only lasted a second, but it was the most magical second of their lives. When they pulled away, Kurt kept his hands on Blaine's face and looked into his hazel eyes.
"I love you too." He whispered.
And that was it. That was all it took. A huge grin broke out on Blaine's face and Kurt grinned back.
"Well, that's a relief." Blaine gasped.
And then they kissed again, this time for a bit longer than the first time. Blaine rested his hands on Kurt's hips and Kurt slid his hands to around Blaine's neck. They both smiled into the kiss, glad to finally be doing what they had both wanted to do for so long. Blaine let out a small sigh as Kurt pulled away.
"So everything you said was true?" Kurt asked.
"Of course it was." Blaine replied. "I couldn't make that up."
"Good. Just checking."
And then he leaned in for the third of many kisses.