To hell with everybody elseA/N: I heard Garbage's song called Tell me where it hurts and I really liked the lyrics and thought that they kinda fit for Roy and Ed… So I decided to write a songfic. : D After finishing writing this (7 in the morning and I haven't slept yay me) I thought that the lyrics didn't quite relate to this after all (though the chorus still does) so… yeah. Anyways, I'm sorry about the mistakes, I'm way too tired to think. : D
Tell me where it hurts,
to hell with everybody else.
All I care about is you and that's the truth
they don't like me; yeah I can tell
but you do, so they can go to hell
Ed stared his face from the mirror, braiding his hair. There he was, Edward Elric, a 19-year-old with golden hair and amber eyes. Even though he looked a bit tired, with too little sleep, there was a determined look on his eyes which faded very seldom. Ed put on his red jacket and his black boots.
"Al, I'm going now!"
Ed didn't stay to wait and hear what his brother answered; he got out of the apartment and rushed down the stairs, leaving the building.
Sunrise shone so brightly that it took a few seconds to get used to the bright light. Ed smiled a bit when he realized that the day was going to be very beautiful.
When Al had gotten his body back over a year ago, it had been hard for Ed to leave Al alone. But nowadays Ed knew that Al would manage on his own. He wouldn't have to be worrying over his little brother anymore… but of course, he still did, and he would never stop. Al was the most important person to Ed. Al was his only family and that was why Ed had to make sure that Al was alright.
It had always been like that, Ed taking care of Al… But there was no one to take care of Ed. Sometimes he wished there was. Sometimes he was so tired of taking so much responsibility, of carrying that burden for Al too. And sometimes Ed just forgot that there was someone taking care of him…Roy Mustang. Ed stared at the man who was still lying on his bed at the hospital. He had always taken care of Ed and Al. Always protecting them. Ed just had never realized it because Mustang always made fun of him. Probably the colonel didn't just want Ed to realize how much he really cared.
What an idiot, Ed had to think but he couldn't help but feel all warm inside, thinking about it. There was someone who really cared about him so much that they were willing to risk their lives for him anytime… Someone besides Al. And Mustang wasn't even related.Ed sat down and wanted to touch his ex-superior's black hair. His hand almost rose on its own but Ed managed to not to move and then Roy opened his dark eyes, staring at Ed, without knowing how only that one look set Ed's body on fire. Ed tore his gaze away and stared at his gloves.
"Fullmetal. You're no longer in the military. You have no reason to come and visit me. If you're doing this only because you feel like you have to, then don't. No need to."
Ed groaned. Stupid bastard. Always saying the same things.
"Oh, shut up. I'm not here because I 'feel like I have to' or some shit like that. I'm here because I want to. Because…"
I care about you.
"Because…?" Roy sighed.
"Ed… it seems quite… suspicious that you come here every single day… You should be home, taking care of Al."
Ed shook his head. "He can already take care of himself. He's fine. I'll stay here."
Roy closed his eyes, clearly he wanted to make Ed get out of there but he didn't have the strength to fight with him every single day.
"You're a stubborn brat, you know that?"
Ed grinned. "And you're a stubborn bastard, you know that?"
Roy smiled softly and Ed felt his heart pounding happily against his chest. After all those years, he was finally starting to understand his ex-superior.
The man really cared, a lot. He was a good person. Ed had also found out that the rumor about Roy being a womanizer was not quite true. He was too caring to toy around with anyone. He cared too much and that was why he had to keep that mask on, so that no one could see his weak point. But Ed had always been good with solving puzzles. And he had already solved Roy.
Even though he was acting like he didn't want Ed's company, Ed knew better. The man just wanted the best for Ed… but he didn't know that the best for Ed was to be there with that stubborn bastard."I really think you shouldn't be here so often… you should hear what the nurses are talking when they think I'm asleep."
Ed raised his eyebrows. "Oh…? What do they talk about?"
The look on Roy's eyes was the kind which said: Why don't you go ahead and THINK about it?"Well… basically they think that you're my lover."
Ed really had to work hard to hide his wide smile. He, Roy's lover…? That didn't sound bad at all. Did they really seem like that…?
"Oh really?" Roy snorted and knit his eyebrows together.
"You should be bothered by that."
Ed laughed a bit. Bothered? No way, he didn't feel bothered at all. He was just happy.
"Why?" Roy looked pretty surprised, as if he didn't believe what he was hearing.
"'Why' you ask… You should really think about that," Roy groaned and then the nurse came over.
"Good morning," she said, glancing at Ed with a knowing smile on her lips.
Ed smiled back and watched as she brought the breakfast for Roy.
"How are you feeling today?"
Roy smiled charmingly. "Oh, I'm perfectly fine… after an angel walked in."
The nurse giggled a bit and glanced at Ed.
"Well, he sure is an angel, always coming by to see you…"
Ed grinned at Roy who looked a bit irritated, obviously because the nurse didn't realize that Roy was trying to flirt with her. Apparently the rumors between the nurses were true…
Ed was more than happy about it. But at the same time, he was a bit upset. Because even though it was just some rumor, he wanted it to be true. He wanted it more than anything.The evening came but Ed never left from Roy's side. The visiting time would be over soon and then Ed would have to leave. Usually he asked from some of the nurses if he could stay (without minding about Roy's hesitation) and they let him, probably because of the rumor. Guess they thought that Ed loved Roy so much that he couldn't even be separated from him… Which was… true.
"Ed, please, just go home, will you?"
Ed smiled because Roy had called him by his first name.
"Roy, come on, you know I won't."
Roy muttered something about 'insufferable little brat' before he closed his eyes.
"Roy…?" The man groaned. "I'm trying to sleep."
Ed looked at his face, the closed eyes, and the forehead with one wrinkle which told that he wasn't completely relaxed. Ed didn't even realize that he had lifted his hand to wipe it away. Ed didn't even realize that by touching Roy once, he couldn't stop it. His hand moved slowly from Roy's forehead to his cheeks, his eyelids, his chin, his lips…
"Ed. What do you want?"
Ed froze when Roy opened his eyes to stare at him. Ed had missed the moment when he had moved to the bed, his body next to Roy's own, too close, but yet… too far away.
"You. This," Ed said, not giving damn about anything anymore, he leaned in to kiss Roy.
It was one little moment which felt like forever. With their lips locked, neither of them moving, doing anything. Until Roy grabbed Ed's hand, brought him closer, moving his lips, needing, wanting, with so much feeling that Ed's head span, his felt euphoria filling his body from head to toes. Because Roy kissed him, as if he had been holding back for all those years. As if finally he had came to the border where he just couldn't hold himself back no more.
As they pulled apart to get some air, Ed couldn't help but smiling.
"Don't… go just yet," Roy whispered, burying his face in Ed's hair. Ed laughed a bit. No way in hell he would be going anywhere from there.
Tell me where it hurts,
to hell with everybody else.
All I care about is you and that's the truth
they don't like me; yeah I can tell
but you do, so they can go to hellAfter many, many kisses and just holding each other and kissing and kissing… Ed finally had to leave. He hummed happily all the way to the apartment, spinning around, without being able to get that goofy smile away from his lips. He had wondered if there really was more to Roy's caring and protection and obviously… there was. Somehow, Ed had managed to make the man's walls come down. If Ed would've known only daring to touch him would do it, Ed would've touched the man long ago.
"Al," Ed called his brother's name when he opened the door.
"Welcome back, brother. You spent the whole day at the hospital?"
Ed nodded and felt his stomach growling hungrily; Al had made food and Ed hadn't eaten since the morning. Al watched as Ed ate and the way he sighed made Ed glance at him. "You alright?"
Al shrugged. "I'm just thinking… you spend a lot of time there… at the hospital."
It was Ed's turn to shrug. "Guess so…" Ed smiled as he remembered the way Roy's kisses had made his stomach twist in a good way. He wished tomorrow would already come so that they could continue sharing those kisses… "Brother… I don't think you should go there anymore."
Al's words made Ed's head turn to him quickly. "Huh…? What the hell, Al…?"
Al stared at his hands, looking quite uneasy.
"It's just that… you don't think about anything anymore… or anyone but him."
Ed furrowed his eyebrows. "So what?"
Al shook his head, with a look of disbelief in his eyes. "'So what'…? What about Winry? She calls every day and she seems to be really disappointed when you're never around. She really cares about you, brother…"
Ed bit his lip. Suddenly he wasn't hungry anymore. Winry… She was just a friend. And a mechanic. It was true that Ed's head was full of Roy. Especially now when it seemed that his feelings weren't unrequited after all.
"If you're so worried about her, you should go and comfort her," Ed snorted and got up. Why was it so hard for anyone to understand that Ed cared about Roy, not Winry or anyone else? It wasn't wrong. It was completely right because it was real.
And Ed knew by the way Roy had kissed him that he thought it was real too. So why the hell couldn't they just be together?The next day Al came to the hospital with Ed, not minding about Ed's hesitation. Great. If Al's going to stay the whole time, I can forget about getting kisses – or anything else – from Roy…
Ed loved his brother, really but… in that moment; Ed just wished his brother would just leave him alone.
A few familiar nurses went past them in the corridors and they greeted Ed pretty cheerfully.
"Here again? He has other guests today," one of them said and smiled. Other guests? That must mean that someone from Roy's crew was there.
Ed was right. When he and Al got to the door of Roy's room, they saw Hawkeye and Havoc.
Ed was about to enter when he heard Hawkeye say: "Ed still comes here?"
Ed froze, when his name was mentioned and he saw Roy nodding. "Yeah… he does."
Hawkeye sighed. "Sir, with due respect, you should tell him not to…"
Ed felt his nails digging into his palms. Why was it that everyone seemed to be against the idea that Ed just wanted to be with Roy? Ed couldn't understand how there was something wrong about that.
"I've tried… Oh, I've tried telling him what to do for years. He's never obeyed anyone, that stubborn little brat…"
Ed felt that familiar warm feeling spreading all over his body when he saw a smile on Roy's lips.
"Sir… Permission to speak freely?" Roy nodded and Havoc continued: "Everyone's speaking… they're saying that Ed is your… er, pet."
And that was when Ed couldn't just stay and stand there, he rushed in, glaring at the two dressed in military outfits. "What the hell is wrong with everyone? So what if I come here everyday! I'd be a bastard if I didn't, after all the things he has done for me!"
"Brother," Al uttered, coming in and looking everyone apolitically.
"Ed, I've said this already: you don't have to feel like you own anything for me because you don't –"
Ed didn't let Roy finish, he just glared at the man. "Don't you start too! Do you think last night was about me owning something to you?"
Roy glanced at Hawkeye and Havoc, looking rather uneasy.
Ed didn't even notice that his shouting had made the nurses come and check if everything was okay.
"Fullmetal… just calm down," Roy said in that official tone which Ed hated.
"Why the hell can't anyone just understand…? I fucking love that bastard, is it so damn wrong?"
And with those words, Ed rushed out of there. He saw Al, Hawkeye, Havoc and the nurses' chocked expression but the only one which haunted Ed was the chocked expression on Roy's face.
It was obvious that the man didn't want to be with Ed… well, Ed was sure that he did but couldn't because of his reputation which he had to maintain…
Well; it was true that it seemed a little… weird. A 19-year-old guy and a 33-year-old man… And Roy was Ed's ex-superior… but did that really matter? Did any of those things matter? No, they didn't, not for Ed. Because he was in love for the first time and he couldn't see anything bad with that. Two days. Ed hadn't been in the hospital for two days and it felt like forever. Al had apologized to him, saying that he approved it completely, saying that he was okay with it. Ed had thanked his little brother, being sure that he was the only one approving it. And for Al too it had taken two days to get used to the idea. But did he really have choices? Ed was his brother, his only family for crying out loud.
So what could Ed do? He didn't want to give up – he never wanted to give up, about anything really… and to give up because of someone else's opinion…? That seemed just foolish for Ed. He didn't give a damn about what someone might think of him. But… Roy had to. If he wanted to be the Führer someday…
And of course, Ed didn't want to be in his way… so maybe it was best just to give up and let it be… even though the thought hurt painfully much, not only because it was against Ed's nature to give up but also because – even if it was only that one time – Ed knew how it felt to be kissed by Roy. And he knew that he would remember, not sure if anyone else would be able to make Ed's stomach twist, to set his body on fire just by one look…
He doubted it. Ed had never believed when someone said: "You don't always get what you wish in life", no, Ed had always believed in equivalent exchange. If he would give something, he would get something in return. But what could Ed give in that case? Was there a prize, if yes, what was it and could Ed be able to pay it?
There wasn't anything. And suddenly Ed realized that it must be it. That was what it was like to be an adult. If it was like that, Ed sure as hell didn't want to be one – an adult.Ed watched as Al was running around the house, packing his stuff. He and Ed had agreed that Al would go and move to Resembool. Al had wanted to go there for a few months already; he didn't feel like home in the East city, never had, unlike Ed.
Somehow Ed wished that he could also pack his stuff and get the hell away from there. But there was something – no, someone – stopping Ed. Roy, of course. If Ed wasn't allowed to be close to him, at least he could be around, so that Ed would know that everything was alright with him. So that Ed could help the man if he needed Ed's help.
"I think I'm ready… you sure you don't want to come too? I could stay here too…"
Ed laughed at his brother over worried expression.
"No, Al. I'm fine here by myself and you'll be soon too busy to think about me at all…" Al snorted. "I don't think I'll be that busy… It's Resembool we're talking about." Ed grinned.
"I didn't mean that… Thought that you'll be quite busy, thinking about Winry…"
Ed's grin widened when Al blushed furiously and turned his back on Ed quickly.
"I… don't know what you're talking about," Al mumbled. Ed laughed a bit. Al really was obvious… he and Winry would be a great couple. They would get married and have kids and live happily ever after and no one had anything against it, why would anyone have?
Ed sighed. Why wasn't it like that with all couples…?
Suddenly the doorbell rang. Ed and Al glanced at each other until Al got up and went to open the door. Ed had no idea who it could've been. They had guests coming over very seldom. Ed's whole body froze when he heard the familiar voice saying: "Hello, Alphonse. Is Ed around…?"
Ed got up and went in to the hall to see Roy standing at the door. "Oh… there you are."
Ed could do nothing but stare. "What the… hell are you doing here?" Roy smiled a bit.
"They let me go home, finally…" Ed's eyebrows raised, he barely noticed that Al tiptoed to the kitchen. "Well… apparently you've come to the wrong place," Ed groaned. Why was he there? Why was he looking so good, making it only harder for Ed to even think of letting go?
"No, I've come to the right place."
Roy came closer, grabbing Ed's hands, holding them against his chest.
"Ed… you are my home." Ed blinked his eyes in surprise and when he realized what Roy had just said, he really wanted to cry for the first time in years. Why was he standing there, making Ed feel so terribly good, only with a few words…?
"I… you shouldn't…"
For the first time, Edward Elric had no words. Roy kissed the back of his hand gently.
"Move in with me." Huh? "Huh?" Ed didn't just hear correctly, did he?
"I want to be with you. To spend the rest of my life with you."
Ed bit his lip. Fucking Roy Mustang, standing on the door of Ed's apartment, saying all those things which seemed to make Ed feel that same euphoria once again.
"Yeah sure there's only that tiny little thing… what about anyone else?"
Roy smiled a bit. "Don't care. Not anymore."
Oh stop that, Ed tried to tell his heart which suddenly remembered what it was like to beat happily. But it was no use. One's heart couldn't be controlled by logic.
"Look… you're going to be a Führer someday and I really support it. You… being with me… that might mean that you could never accomplish it…"
"I'm glad that you care so much. But I don't. Not anymore. I never really believed that if I could be with you, I could do it without sacrificing something first. But it doesn't matter. You do, more than anything. Because I fucking love you, for the brat that you are."
And then Ed couldn't help it, he just had to smile widely. But he still had to make sure; he couldn't get his hopes high… not yet. "Are you... sure?" Roy laughed softly.
"Ed. I've never been this sure about anything in my whole life. This is something I've wanted for a long time. And it's not going to change."
And that was exactly what Ed wanted to hear before he wrapped his arms around Roy and kissed him on the lips. "I take that as a yes," Roy murmured against Ed's mouth but soon they both forgot how to form words and they didn't need to. Actions spoke louder than words. And both Ed and Roy knew exactly how they felt, holding each other closely, tightly, drowning in kisses and in that feeling which filled them from head to toes.
They didn't even notice Al who glanced at them smiling widely before he went and grabbed yet another box and started to pack Ed's things. Suddenly, life for Elric brothers didn't seem bad at all – quite the opposite as a matter of fact. It was about time for Ed to be happy too.
A/N: So there it was. If anyone wonders why Roy was in the hospital… that remains a mystery. Feel free to use your imagination! ;p And yeah… I was feeling pretty fluffy, that was why the ending was like that… (No, it was nothing to do with the fact that I'm fucking in love with fluffy and way too romantic endings… especially when it's about Roy and Ed… :3) Hope you enjoyed it!