Disclaimer: I don't own bleach. I just own a laptop, word, and my imagination. I don't own the song TFK does. Oh and the song is Broken Wing, I love it you should listen to it.
Every time you walk away, I wish you'd stay / Instead of pushinme further away
Every time I hear you say, I just need one, to take this pain away
You're a broken wing, not a broken thing, / You can heal in time, if you try,
It'll be okay, you can walk away
Ichigo silently followed Shinji and the other Visards to their hideout.
It was too dangerous to stay out in the open.
Soul society was investigating his death and looking for him.
If they found out he was emotional unstable they would execute him or put him in the maggot's nest because he could be a danger.
Honestly if he had a choice between the two he would want to be executed and he would ask Byakuya to do it.
That was the last resort though.
He had promised his friends he wouldn't give up again.
For now he had to lie low.
"Ichigo are you listening to me?" Shinji asked a concerned looked look in his eyes.
"Huh, sorry I was thinking", Ichigo mumbled.
Shinji sighed but smiled.
"I was saying that you are going to share a room with me", he said as he looked at Ichigo.
He was surprised that Ichigo actually allowed their eyes for a few seconds.
Ichigo had avoided all eye contact for the last five months.
It disturbed shinji that the fire that had burned so brightly in Ichigo's eyes had reduced to a smolder.
"Here it is", Shinji said when he reached a door the was painted bright yellow.
"Oh, god is your room going to blind me", Ichigo said with a terrified expression on his face.
Shinji despite the obvious jab at his like of bright colors, if ichigo could make jokes then there was hope for him.
"There is nothing wrong with bright colors", Shinji said pretending that Ichigo's words hurt him.
He then opened the door to the room.
Ichigo let out a groan as he looked in the room. If you judged Shinji by his room you would think he was stuck in the seventies.
He had lava lamps and bright psychedelic patterns everywhere.
"Yup your room has blinded me", Ichigo said as he put his hand over his eyes pretending he was blinded.
Shinji had a bright smile on his face the old ichigo was shining through maybe it was time to confront him.
"Is there anything you want to talk to me about?" Shinji asked suddenly feeling lame. He wasn't good at being subtle, he was more the bold and blunt type.
Instantly Ichigo calmed up before shaking his head.
Did ichigo want to talk yes; did he want Shinji knowing he had been raped both mind and body, not so much.
If talked about what happened, he would have to tell him everything happened because he would be able to hold anything
Twenty-two days later
Shinji was frustrated, no matter what he said or did Ichigo remained silent and distance.
Patience was using one of his virtues but it was difficult to watch Ichigo struggle with his demons alone.
Then there was Ichigo's addiction to danger.
He had caught Ichigo sneaking out of the hideout at night to go street racing.
At first it had angered him that Urahara had given him a gigai but he now realized why.
It was safer for Ichigo to street race then it was to go hunting for hollows.
Soul society was still after Ichigo and Urahara gigai hid Ichigo's reiastu.
He sighed before he looked at Ichigo who was asleep on the futon provided for him.
At least the boy with sleeping, it was something he rarely did now days.
Ichigo was running, running from his past tormentor.
Suddenly he ran into the very thing he was trying to get away from.
Aizen watched as Ichigo fell to the ground.
He bent down and grabbed Ichigo's orange locks before jerking his head up.
He smiled when Ichigo cried out in pain.
"I know you are not stupid ryoka boy" Aizen said in a kind voice. "You are exactly the opposite"
"Why do you run when you know it is useless?" he asked.
"You're sealed, this is just a dream, you're not real" Ichigo said defiantly.
"I assure you I am very real" Aizen with a smile. "And you have picked up some bad habits while I have been away"
Ichigo managed to break Aizen hold and stood.
This was his dream dammit not Aizen's.
"I hate you" , Ichigo snarled.
If it wasn't real then there was no reason to submit, soon he would wake up.
"Hate is mere steps away from love", Aizen said amused.
Love, what the hell was he talking about?
How could he ever love a monster like him?
"Leave me alone", he screamed before throwing a punch at Aizen.
Aizen sighed before grabbing Ichigo's fist.
"It seems we must begin your training again", Aizen said.
In a matter of seconds clothes were shed.
Ichigo found himself on the ground, his ass high in the air as his face touched the ground.
His arms were bound behind his back.
"Please don't Aizen-sama ", Ichigo pleaded.
"You have no one to blame but yourself", Aizen said calmly as he positioned himself.
"Please Aizen-sama I won't run again, I promise", Ichigo begged fear evident in his voice.
Back in the real world
Shinji cursed as Ichigo screamed "Leave me alone", in his sleep
He quickly went over to Ichigo.
"Ichi wake up", Shinji said loudly before shaking his friend's shoulders when he didn't wake.
Something wasn't right.
Then he realized that Ichigo reiastu felt muffled as if someone was interfering with the reiastu.
He attempts to wake Ichigo became more desperate.
The rest of the visards arrived after Ichigo let out a scream.
"What's wrong with the kid?", Kensei asked concern leaking into his voice.
Ichigo's trembling body was in Shinji's arms by this time.
"I don't know but this is not a normal nightmare", Shinji said with concern in his voice. "I don't know what to do", He said feeling useless.
"Ice water" someone said and everyone was surprised that someone was Mashiro.
Shinji nodded to her after looking at Ichigo who sobbing "Please stop" over and over in his sleep.
Mashiro ran to go get ice water while Kensei followed to make sure she didn't drop the bucket
"Come Ichigo please wake up" Shinji pleaded as he stroked Ichigo's hair
Moments later Mashiro returned before tossing the water, ice cubes included on his face.
Ichigo woke with a gasp.
His body was still trembling and it wasn't because of the cold water.
He ignored the other visards who were asking what happened.
He grabbed Shinji's wet shirt before turning into Shinji's chest and bursting into tears.
Shinji stroked his hair and whispered comforting things as he rubbed Ichigos back.
The others decided it would be best to leave the two alone.
After about fifteen minutes Ichigo fell into a dreamless sleep while in Shinji's arms.
Shinji looked at Ichigo before sighing, he was going to question him about his suicide when he woke up.
It was going to upset Ichigo but he needed to know why Ichigo killed himself.
Something was very wrong and he had a feeling Ichigo's reason for killing himself was connected to what had happened earlier.
And I won't laugh, I won't look, I won't listen if you just get up,
And I won't laugh, I won't look, I won't listen if you just stand
Suddenly Ichigo stirred, at first Ichigo was confused but then he remember why he was in Shinji's arms.
"Sorry" he mumbled before getting up, he kept the blanket around him.
His heart was racing he could feel liquid running down the inside of his thigh and knew it wasn't water.
He felt the searing pain from being torn but ignored it.
Shinji had bought because he had known it would make "Ichigo why did you kill yourself?" Shinji asked bluntly.
Ichigo frowned as his body tensed.
"Nothing, it was nothing", Ichigo mumbled his voice emotionless.
"It appearantly was something because you took your own life", Shinji said a little anger seeping into his voice.
How could he say it was nothing, did his life mean nothing to him anymore.
"Leave me alone", ichigo said as he turned to leave, he didn't want to deal with this not after what Aizen did.
Shinji caught Ichigo's arm.
"Stop pushing everyone away", Shinji said. "Stop treating yourself like you're a broken thing that can't be repaired"
Ichigo frowned but made contant with Shinji's eyes.
Was Shinji finally getting through Ichigo mental armor?
"You have to tell someone what's wrong", Shinji continued on. "You have let someone in or you will never heal from whatever is haunting you"
"I can't, I don't want to remember I don't want to be treated differently", Ichigo confessed in a sad tone.
Shinji gently tugged Ichigo's arm bringing Ichigo into his arms.
"I know you don't want to remember but you need to so you can begin to heal", Shinji said softly. "You won't have to suffer with only your hollow to comfort you"
Unconciously he placed a kiss on Ichigo's forehead.
Ichigo laid his head on Shinji's shoulder.
"I actually we won't treat you any different, you will always be my friend and part of our little family Ichigo, your past doesn't matter", Shinji said as he held the boy.
"I am supposed to be safe", Ichigo whispered. "Aizen-sama isn't supposed to be able to touch or hurt me anymore"
"Ichigo" Shinji started he had been about to assure Ichigo he was safe but ichigo cut him off.
"The day I died I had a dream bit me in the dream", ichigo said as tears began to fall. "I had bite marks when I woke up"
Shinji held Ichigo a little tighter but let him continue.
"And now… now", He said before sobbing harder. He couldn't say it.
Instead he let the blanket fall stepped away. He had been wearing cream colored pajama pants. The inside of left pant leg was stained blood red.
Shinji gasped before he realized what must of happened in Ichigo's dream.
He was livid not at ichigo but at Aizen.
He noticed Ichigo's intense shaking and quickly picked up the sobbing boy.
He went sat on his bed with Ichigo in his arms.
He couldn't imagine how much pain Ichigo was in but knew the boy needed a rock to lean on.
"I'm scared Shinji",Ichigo sobbed after a few mintues.
"I promise I will find out what Aizen has done and I will fix it", Shinji said gently as he rocked ichigo.
"It will be alright" Shinji murmered.
"Promise?" Ichigo mumbled as exhaustion made itself known.
"I promise", Shinji said softly.
"Sleep I keep you safe", Shinji said as he wrapped Ichigo in his reiatsu.
Ichigo cuddled up to shinji, He felt safe for the first time in fifteen months.
"Shinji", Ichigo mumbled as he fell into a peaceful sleep.