I see you everywhere I look. It's driving me insane. Everything reminds me of you. The trees, so much like those in our den. The moon, pale as your pelt. The stars, as bright as your eyes. Rocks, as sharp as those that brought about your demise.
That memory, constantly replaying in my mind... I strike out randomly, so much so I had to leave the pack. Mum and dad are very distressed, but they have a new family to care for. Kar... Kar has never been the same.
Someone once told us that memories shape us. In this case, I'm being shaped into a broken mess. Why couldn't it have been me? You had so much more to live for, not like me! You had so much more... I try to be like you, Larka, I really do. I can't. I just can't. I'm doomed to forever be a Kerl. Always alone.
And the Sight. Oh, how it fuels my nightmares! The Lera, constantly murmuring rumours about me, turning me into a demon of the night. They love you, of course they do, but to them I'm Wolfbane. That was in my past, and I wanted to run from that. I guess some things you can't run from, eh?
I still won't touch ice. When I look at it the Sight replays my memories of that... I don't want to go on. It was too much. I'm not as strong as people think. I know it wasn't father's fault, but you understand that at the time I wasn't to know he couldn't see the cracks? I hope you can forgive me for that. Hell. Just forgive me for even being born.
My time is coming, my sister. I no longer wish to walk this earth. I have far outlived most Varg my age, and I am tired. But why do I feel Fenris is not done with me yet? And you, you talk to me... I hear your voice, I see you in the water... What is it you want me to do? Please... Please... I don't understand...
Help me to leave something to be remembered by... As you have... I ask for Larka's Blessing...