A fore-forenote, if anybody wants to use Derrick, Wolfie or any original character, then just ask, and I'll probably (99%) say yes. The exceptions are Misty, Lumi and Chewy, who are representative of other people, so you'll have to ask them.

Wolfie, the Writer: "Just a forenote, this story has had it's name changed from 'Save the Writer!' after I decided to create differently named 'sequels' and put them all under one story. Also, any yaoi fangirls who are easily offended, you might want to press the back button. Now enjoy..."

Save the Writer, Ch1

Somewhere in the depths of fanfiction, just past the gates to crackland, Miku Hatsune was, for some insufficiently explained plot reason, waiting.

Miku: "It's not really insufficiently explained: I'm waiting for my friends, and Kaito, to show up."

Ah yes, Kaito's coming today isn't he? Well then I'll have some fun torturing him.

Miku: "I don't think the Kaito torture is gaining you any popularity you know."

Screw the popularity, I have Pokemon Black.

Miku: "Seriously, who came up with that name? Black and white? I am so glad that 'yellow' is already taken, so they'll probably call the third one 'grey' or something."

Anyway, as I was saying, Miku was waiting. She was however, not left waiting for very long, as she soon saw waving pink hair running towards her. Said hair was on the scalp of a certain Luka Megurine.

Luka: "Hi Miku!"

Miku: "Hey Luka, what took you so long?"

Luka: "Narrative convenience."

Miku: "Ah, Wolfie-sama strikes again I see."

I'm not exactly striking. More typing.

Miku: "Same thing for you." Seeing two figures with blond hair running towards them, "Ah, here come the twins."

Len & Rin: "Sorry we're late!"

Len: "Rin took ages getting ready."

Rin: "Len was eating a banana."

Len & Rin: Stare at each other.

Miku: "Let's be honest, we all know you were having sex weren't you? And if anybody was 'eating a banana,' it was you Rin!"

Len: "We~ll..."

Rin: "..."You could say that."

Luka: "In other words: 'yes.'"

Voice from behind them: "My dearest princess Miku, I am so terribly sorry I'm late!"

Miku: "F***! Here he comes."

Kaito: Running up to the assembled group "My sweet princess, yes 'tis I, your humble servant."

Miku: "Why did we invite him again?"

Wolfie, the Writer: "Because spoilers."

Miku: "Wolfie? When did you turn up?"

Wolfie: "Miku dear, I have been narrating for however long, I've been here the whole time."

Miku: "Then how come I couldn't see you?"

Wolfie: "Because I didn't say that you saw me."

Miku: "Ri~ght."

Kaito: "Wolfie! I challenge you to a duel for Miku!"

Wolfie: Sighing, "Yes I know you do, and I also know that you are about to be attacked by my friend/rival/personal-pain-in-the-ass Misty."

Kaito: Spinning round on the spot, "Where is he?"

Wolfie: Typing furiously, "In the hole under your feet."

Kaito: "What ho...? AHHhhhhhhhhh..."

Miku: "Did you just write that in?"

Wolfie: "Of course I did."

Luka: "Don't we need him for plot progression?"

Wolfie: "True... there!"

Kaito falls out of the sky, and lands unceremoniously, but still in one piece.

Kaito: "What the hell just happened?"

Wolfie: "I showed you why you should never screw with the guy typing the story... wait what's this?" Stares at laptop, "Shit! I got a virus!"

Miku: "I take it that's bad."

Wolfie: "Nah, not really. I have anti-virus software, it just means I can't start fiddling with the story for a while, until the virus is dealt with."

It is of course at this point that the group have a not-so-random encounter.

Girl: "Hello, are you the writer?"

Wolfie: "Yes... wait a sec, who the hell are you? I don't remember writing you in."

Girl: "I'm just a girl..." Sees Len and Kaito within three metres of each other, "SQUEEEEE! LENXKAITO FOREVER!"

Wolfie: "Shit, we have a yaoi fangirl on our hands."

Yaoi fangirl: "Damn, me cover is blown. Yes! I am the queen of yaoi fangirls. But you can call me Derrick."

Wolfie: "Derrick? Isn't that a guy's name?"

Derrick: "It's my internet name, Satoru, and just like yours, it doesn't reflect the real me that much at all."

Wolfie: "Actually, Satoru comes from the Japanese for 'to know,' and people do say I'm quite knowledgeable..."

Derrick: "Shut up! Now that your laptop has succumbed temporarily to the virus, we can take you down, and turn all your stories into yaoi!"

Wolfie: "You wouldn't!"

Derrick: "Oh yes I would!"

Wolfie: "Oh no you wouldn't!"

Derrick: "Oh yes I would!"

Wolfie: "Oh no you wouldn't!"

Derrick: "Oh yes I would!"

Miku: "Um, you two, if you don't mind could you..."

Wolfie: "Oh no you wouldn't!"

Derrick: "Oh yes I would!"

Five hours later

Wolfie: "Oh no you wouldn't!"

Derrick: "Oh yes I would!"

Miku: "WOLFIE! Stop it, or else it's the couch for you for a month."

Wolfie: Now looking at Miku, "Y-you wouldn't!"

Miku: "Don't start that again!"

Wolfie: "Sorry..."

Derrick: "Anyway, time for some plot advancement. MINIONS! Seize him!"

Minions 1 to 4 appear out of nowhere, and grab Wolfie.

Wolfie: "I won't go down without a fight!"

Yaoi fangirl minion 1: "Really? Number 2, use the weapon!"

Yaoi fangirl minion 2: Takes out a yaoi doujinshi for Higurashi, "What do you think of SatoshiXKeiichi? Eh?"

Wolfie: In severe pain, "How could you? Satoshi and Keiichi are clearly straight! Well, Satoshi maybe not, but the point stands! I wouldn't mind if you took some guys who at least might be gay, but this is inhuman!"

Yfm 1: "If you don't come quietly, there's more where that came from."

Wolfie: "Shit! Yaoi doujins reduce my powers. I can't fight back, Miku, help me!"

Miku: "What am I supposed to do... wait a second..." Walks over to Luka, "Luka, sorry about this..." Miku quickly forces her lips on Luka.

Derrick: "Wh-what is this?"

Wolfie: "That, Derrick, is yuri!"

Derrick: Turning to see Wolfie, who has broken free of his captors, "You... you shall not get away!"

Wolfie: Raising a katana which appeared from nowhere, "F***ing hell I will!"

Derrick: "No you won't, because..." Pulls out a screen, which displays certain images, and shows it to Wolfie, "I have enough yaoi for an entire fangirl army! Feel the YAOI!"

Miku: Breaking off the kiss with Luka, "Shit, this won't be enough... NO! WOLFIE!"

Wolfie collapses, as his katana shatters. The Yaoi minions grab him and his laptop, and flee the scene.

Derrick: "Ahahaha, now to put our stereotypically evil plan into action. Soon, all of fanfiction will be taken over by yaoi! Mwahahaha! I will see you girls later." Disappears in a puff of squee.

Miku: Crying, "Wolfie-sama."

Kaito: "Miku, don't worry, now that he's gone you're a free woman."

Luka: "Kaito, I hate to break it to you, but if those girls manage to break into Wolfie's user, then they'll send yaoi into all his stories. The short of it is that you'll end up *censored* with Len. Also, may I add in here that I feel strangly violated by Miku."

Rin: "NO! Len is only allowed to *censored* with me!"

Luka: "That's precisely the problem: these fangirls don't think that Wolfie does enough, scratch that, any yaoi, and so are going to force it into his fics."

Kaito: "But it's not like Wolfie's the only writer on FF, their plan isn't going to convert everybody to yaoi."

Luka: "It may be badly thought through, but it'll still cause us problems if their plans work."

Miku: "Hang on, won't it mean that Kaito ends up *censored*ing Len, and not trying to do anything to me?"

Luka: "Yes, but Wolfie will probably also lose any interest in girls."

Miku: "F***! We have to save him. We need a plan right now!"

Luka: "Okay, here we go... oh wait, chapter break. Well we'll sort out what we're doing next time then..."

Bis Bald



Ahem, sorry about that...

Bis Bald