Warning: Incest and homosexuals.
I don't own Percy Jackson and the Olympians.
Katie's sweet breathy laughter. Travis's bright smile. Soft voices and hand holding. Light kisses; gentle brushes of the shoulders.
Every time Connor turns his head, he sees the two of them together. He sees Katie and Travis, touching and holding and just generally being disgusting. When Connor sees the two, he just has to look away. He can't stand it.
And he just tells himself that it's because of Katie, because he's in love with Katie. Cause Katie's fiery and wild, bitchy and shrieks a lot and it's hot.
But Travis leaves Katie and starts to go out with Nikki. And now it's Travis and Nikki making out vigorously before class, it's Nikki running her hands through Travis's hair, it's Nikki that Travis loves. And Connor says that the only reason he feels a pang of jealousy when he sees them is because he likes Nikki and can't stand the fact that Travis got her, not him. After all, Travis and Connor were so alike, it's only natural for them to like the same girls.
But nothing about the Stolls are natural.
Day after day, month after month, year after year, Travis falls for girl after girl. Blondes, Asians, African-Americans, he's not picky. Connor watches his brother date all those girls, and each time, he would feel a dull pain in his chest. He tells his brain that it's just cause he wishes he could have as many girls as Travis.
But his heart disagrees. His heart tells him that he could have just as many girls as Travis, and maybe, Connor is just in love with his own bro-
No. Connor says to himself firmly. No. He's not gay or incestuous. He's just jealous of all the girls that Travis could hook up with. That's it, that's all, and nothing more.
So when Travis comes back to his cabin, happily chattering about how fabulous the girl he went out with was, Connor just smiles and tells his brain that the sting he feels in his chest is just because he did too many pushups that morning, that he'll be fine in a couple hours, he's just tired or something.
Hours pass. Days, months, weeks, years pass. The sting never leaves.
The night Travis leaves with Katie and doesn't come back until morning is the day Connor stops denying it to himself.
Fine. Fine, he tells his heart. Fine, I'm in love with my own brother. I'm incestuous and gay and sick, are you happy now?
He collapses on his bed, knowing that it's wrong, he's in love his own brother, and it's just so messed up and Connor is so going to hell for this.
So when Travis tells Connor that he's going to ask Katie to marry him, Connor gives him a grin and a slap on the back, tells him that he's happy for him. Travis beams at Connor and admits that Katie is the only one for him, that she makes him happier then anyone could. Connor has to bite his tongue and look away when Travis says that. What about me, he wonders, don't I make you happy anymore? He just smiles at his brother and tells him to go for it, to go ahead and propose to Katie.
That night, Connor allows himself to indulge in forbidden fantasies of Travis. His hands wander down, thinking of Travis touching him, Travis kissing and nipping at his lips, Travis giving him a throaty laugh before going down on him.
Connor lets his mind drift, thinking about how alike Travis and him are, so maybe he's not in love with Travis, he's just in love himself? Connor chuckles at this thought. He was nothing if not narcissistic.
Katie and Travis get married in the dusty arena of Camp Half-blood, barefoot and casually dressed cause Katie hates wearing fancy clothes and Travis couldn't be bother with buying an expensive suit. So they're both wearing jeans, and Travis donned the infamous orange shirt, and Katie's in a purple tank top with white lace edges, and a small veil, cause the Aphrodite kids dug their heels in and said that they wouldn't go to the wedding unless Katie wore, at the very least, a veil. She grudging agreed, but her veil is decorated with little flowers, a tribute to her mother.
The wedding goes well, and Connor briefly considers standing up during the 'speak now or forever hold your peace' part, but decides that it's not worth it, it's not like he'll ever get Travis, so why would he want to ruin a perfectly good wedding? So he sits still during that part, and feels like someone's cutting him in half when Travis says I do to Katie.
When the wedding's over and the happy couple is off to their honeymoon, Connor's miserable and sad and doesn't even bother to hide his tears. It's late anyways, no one can really see him when he's draped in the dark shadows of night, and he sits in the sparring arena where Travis promised himself to another woman and cries. He's quiet, he's not the kind that sobs and screams and gasps for air when crying. He just sits on the dirt ground, salty tears streaming down his face.
"Connor?" A deep male voice calls out, voice only slightly familiar.
Connor jerks his head around when he hears someone call his name, wondering who would be able to see him, when he could barely even see his own hand in front of his face. He decides to be quiet, and just wait for the other guy to leave.
"Um, Connor?" The guy is jogging toward him now, Connor can tell by his footsteps.
"Are you- are you okay?" The steps falter now, and Connor doesn't even know how he's going to explain this away. Oh, I'm only crying over the fallen pedals of my brother's wedding cause I was sad that the poor flowers had to get ripped apart. No, not going to work.
"Go away," He croaks out. He wipes at his eyes and squints at the dark shape in front of him. "Who are you?"
"Um," Feet shuffle around. "It's Nico."
Connor swipes at his watery eyes and curses the fact that Nico is technically a underworld child, thus can see clearly without light.
"Are you okay?" A hand reaches out for him, and Connor flinches out of the touch.
"I'm fine," He says bitterly. "Just leave."
He hears a plunk next to him, and can tell that Nico is now sitting next to him. "People don't usually cry when they're fine." Nico says, causal as ever. "Can you tell me what's wrong?"
Connor doesn't know what comes over him, but he's been keeping his feelings bottled up for so many years now, and he feels like if he doesn't tell someone, he'll burst open and his feelings would fly everywhere, covering everything and everyone would know his deepest fears and thoughts.
"I love him." He blurts out. He doesn't know why he's doing this, he doesn't even really know Nico. "I love Travis, and not in a brotherly way. I love him in a 'why don't we go and screw each other senseless?' kinda way." He buries his head in his arms. "Oh gods, you must think that I'm crazy or something."
"No." Nico says simply. "I don't think that your crazy."
Connor snorts. "Yeah, right. Only sick people fall in love with people from the same bloodline as them."
Nico is silent, and Connor thinks that he hears a little whimper, but he can't really tell if it's himself or Nico.
"No," Nico shakes his head; Connor feels the tips of his hair brush against his cheeks. "No, it's not sick. It's not..." He trials off brokenly, and takes in a shaky breath.
Connor gapes at him. "...What?"
"It's not sick!" Nico says loudly. "It's not sick to love your own sis- brother." He says, quieter. "It's not, okay?"
Nico draws his legs up, pressing his lips to his knee. "It's not crazy, it's love, you love him."
"It's disgusting! I'm in love with my own brother, it's wrong! No one should ever fall in love with their own siblings! It's just not right!" Connor stands up, yelling and cursing at the sky. "Gods, I-"
"Shut up, just shut up!" Nico stands up, shaking Connor's shoulders. "Stop talking!" He rattles Connor around. "It's not wrong! You can't control the way you feel, okay?" He's now trembling slightly, and Connor understands.
"Nico..." He trails a finger on Nico's cheek, and feels the wetness. "Don't cry."
Nico bites back a sob, and buries his head in the nook between Connor's neck and shoulder. "I love her," He choked out. "She was my sister, and I loved her so much."
Connor doesn't really know what to do; he just rubs his hand over Nico's back, trying to sooth the shaking teenager. "It's okay," He reassures in a calming voice.
"No," Nico lifts his head from Connor's shoulder and gives a bitter laugh. "No, you think it's sick and wrong. You think I'm disgusting." Nico stumbles back, away from Connor, and lands on the soft grass. He sniffs, wiping his nose with his sleeve.
"Nico-" Connor reaches out for the boy.
"I- I have to go." Nico runs away, disappearing in the shadows, and Connor feels a burn covering his heart as he watches Nico go.
Connor doesn't see Nico for a couple weeks, not until Katie and Travis have a housewarming party. The party was fun, all the guys chilled in the living room watching football and other manly sports, and the girls were in the kitchen, gossiping about their boyfriends and lovers. Connor wandered around the house most of the time, beer in hand. Peeking into Travis and Katie's room, he winces at the king-size bed, trying to block out the thoughts that are crowing I wonder how the sheets got so rumpled! He tries not to think about how Travis and Katie are married, living in the same house, sleeping in the same bed. He sees a small balcony door, and heads toward it, deciding that he needed some fresh air.
He slides the glass door open and audibly gasps when he sees none other then Nico Di Angelo, the Ghost King.
Nico turns when he hears the door open. "Oh." He says, monotone. "It's you." He turns back to the view, swigging his beer.
"Good to know that you're glad to see me." Connor grumbles, standing next to Nico. He narrows his eyes at Nico. "Aren't you under-aged?"
Nico snorts. "I'm like, seventy years your senior."
Connor wrinkles his nose, he doesn't even want to think about that. "You look like you're eighteen," He offers.
"Well, yeah. I guess I am. Nineteen, maybe twenty." Nico shrugs. "Doesn't matter to me."
"That would make you about three years younger then me."
They sip their beers in respective silence for a few moments, but Connor feels the tension building.
"Nico," He turns to him, and he sees a flash of something appear in Nico's eyes, but Connor doesn't know him well enough to identify what it is. "Are you..." He swallows. "Were you really in love with Bianca?"
Nico studies the toes of his sneakers. "It's not sick." He says.
"No," Connor shakes his head. "It's not." 'Cause who is he to tell somebody else who to love and who not to?
Nico looks up at him, eyes glistening. "Yeah. Yeah, I loved her. That's why she went to the Hunt, cause she knew," here his voice caught in his throat "she knew that I loved her, that it was forbidden, and she couldn't deal with it."
And Connor doesn't know what to do, what to say. What could he say to a boy that had his own sister abandon him just because he loved her too much? "Nico,"
"I don't want you to think that I'm sick." Nico says, truthfully, daring Connor to say otherwise.
"I could never think that," Connor tells him, reaching out to thumb his cheek. "I don't think that you're sick or wrong or anything," He says honestly.
Nico nods, then twists his face out of Connor's grip, lighting a match, cigarette fumbling around in his hand.
Connor raises an eyebrow when he realizes that Nico's hands are shaking, and he half worries that he's going to burn himself.
Nico finally lights up his stick, and takes a long drag before looking over to Connor. "So what about you and Travis?" He asks, cigarette dangling out of his fingers.
Connor shakes his head. "Nothing. He loves Katie, and she loves him." He plucks the cigarette out of Nico's mouth. "And there's nothing I can do," He sucks on the stick.
"Life sucks." Nico gets another cigarette out of his pockets and lights that one up, breathing in the smoke.
Connor hums in agreement, and they continue to smoke and drink until there's nothing left of the two bottles and Nico's pack is gone, cigar butts scattered around their feet.
"Hey," Nico says, and Connor just mumbles in response, not looking at Nico. "Hey," He tries again, and this time Connor actually turns to him.
Nico just smiles, soft curves of his lips curling up. "Hi."
Connor rolls his eyes, but he's grinning. "What?"
"I think-" Nico playfully leans in, "That you're really sexy."
Connor smirks. "I think that you're kinda sexy too." And Connor doesn't even know what he's saying, half-drunk and mind hazy from just staring out at the open sky for hours. He stretches his hand out for Nico, curling his hand around Nico's waist.
"Only kinda?" Nico teases.
"Really sexy," Connor amends before pressing his lips to Nico's.
Nico laughs in Connor's month, and that give Connor perfect opportunity to slip his tongue into Nico's mouth. They both moan at the contact, and Connor notices that their kiss tastes like stale smoke and beer, but he can't tell if it's him or Nico, and decides that it's the both of them.
Nico snakes his arms around Connor, and the two of them stumble around, leaving the baloney into Travis and Katie's room.
Connor feels something at the back of his knees, and realizes that it's the bed. They both fall onto it, nipping and fondling, hands roaming all over each other's body.
"Connor!" Katie calls out from downstairs. "Connor, come on!"
Connor yelps and gets off of Nico. "I have to go." He says, looking down at his rumpled clothes.
Nico just raised an eyebrow. "Yeah, I heard." He watches Connor fumble around, straightening his clothes. "Hey, um," He gets off the bed and walks up to Connor, then cards his fingers though Connor's hair. "There." He smiles. "You look presentable now."
Connor makes a face, knowing that his lips were probably swollen and raw, face flushed.
"Hello? Connor!" Katie shrieks, and he smiles, knowing that she probably had a hand on her hip, toes tapping impatiently. "Coooonnor!"
"Coming!" He yells back. They share amused expressions. "Okay. I'll just go-"
Nico ropes him back in and firmly presses his lips to Connors. "Okay," He released him. "You can go now."
Connor tosses back a smile, and rushes down the stairs.
"There you are! We're eating cake now, I know how much you lov-" Katie's rant stops short when she sees his face. "Are you okay?" She places a hand on his forehead. "You look like you have a fever or something."
Connor shakes her hand off. "Nah, I'm just... hot."
Katie furrows her brow. "What were you doing up there?"
Oh, nothing much, just making out with the Ghost King. "Nothing," He manages.
Katie's expression clearly says that she doesn't believe him. "Whatever. Just eat the cake."
"Yeah, thanks." He shoulders pass her, only to hear her greet Nico in surprise. "Nico! I thought you left or something, I didn't see you almost the entire day."
He could only hear Nico mumble something about accidentally falling asleep after shadow traveling to their house before he entered the kitchen.
The rest of the night, both of the boys share secret smiles across the room, flirting with their eyes and body, and Connor feels happier then he has in a long time.
Connor's feeling more then a bit nervous as he knocks on the door of the Hades Cabin.
He glances uneasily at the little burning skulls, each of them sporting a toothy grin, and feels even more nervous. He pounds on the door, hoping that Nico would open the door soon.
"Coming!" Says a muffled yell from inside. He hears a loud thump, then the rustling of clothes.
"Yeah?" Nico snaps when he opens the door, then as the decency to blush when he sees it's Connor at the door. "Oh. Hi."
"Hi." Connor smiles at Nico, who's shirtless with rumpled hair, then notices the gum he's chewing. "Did you just wake up?" He asks Nico disbelievingly.
"Um. Yeah." Nico says, uncomfortably shifting around, the fogginess of sleep still in his eyes.
"It's like, two in the afternoon." Connor points out.
"Whatever." The two stand in silence for a few beats, and Connor feels like he's going to suffocate in the awkwardness. What is he suppose to say? Hey, I really liked making out with you, wanna do that again?
Nico pushes his hair off of his forehead. "So, you coming in or what?"
Connor nods. "Sure, whatever." They make their way in the cabin, and Connor sees the bed Nico has. "Dude! That thing is huge!"
Nico smirks. "I know, right?" He flings himself on the king-size bed. "Hades isn't going have anymore kids, so I took out most of the bunks and moved this wonderful, wonderful bed in."
Connor smiles and sits on the bed next to Nico, who was still sprawled out.
"Come here," Nico tugs Connor's arm, leading him down next to Nico. The two of them grin at each other before their lips meet, and they spend most of the day kissing lazily on Nico's bed.
Afterward, Connor takes Nico out for dinner at the nearest McDonald, and Nico thanks him by asking him out to lunch the next day. The two go on dates, which always end with lengthy kisses and confident gropes.
Connor doesn't tell anybody though, and especially not Travis. He tells himself that it's just because he doesn't want Travis to be weirded out about his brother being gay. But deep inside, he knows that it's just because he doesn't want Travis to know that Connor's taken, that maybe, maybe if Travis thinks that he has a chance with Connor, he'll leave Katie for him. And Connor knows, he knows how crazy this fantasy is, but he can't get it out of his head.
So he keeps his romance with Nico a secret. Nico's rarely around Camp Half-blood, so it's not like people see them kissing or anything, and Nico's not much for PDA, so Connor's fine.
Of course, Nico has no idea that Connor is keeping his friends unaware of his boyfriend. Connor doesn't even want to think about what Nico would do to him if he found out. Nico has a short temper, and often, things would break if Nico's in a rage. Connor just doesn't want one of those things to be himself.
They're at a party that Rachel's hosting at her apartment when Katie says the words that Connor fears the most. And in front of Nico, no less.
"Connor." Katie stuck a spoonful of ice-cream in her mouth. "I think you need a girlfriend."
Connor raised his eyebrows at her. "What?" He shoveled more ice cream into his mouth, trying to avoid Nico's piercing eyes.
"Yeah, man," Travis plopped on the couch next to Katie. "We're like, the same age, and I'm married and you still don't even have a steady girlfriend!" Travis grabbed Katie's spoon and dipped it into his bowl. "What about Melanie? She's hot."
"What?" Katie slapped him on the shoulder.
"Not that I was looking! Geez!"
"I think that you should date Taylor, from the Apollo cabin." Melanie said, strolling causally into the room. "Because I'm taken right now."
"Taylor is a boy." Percy says, looking up from the video game console.
"I know. Connor's bi, right?" Rachel pipes up.
"Yeah, best of both worlds, right?" Connor joked lamely. "But, uh, I rather not date anyone right now."
"Excuse me?" Nico's sharp voice cut across the room.
"Wait, no, not what I meant." Connor said quickly. "I mean, I don't want to date anyone you guys set me up with!"
Everyone in the room was looking from Connor to Nico in silence, and Connor's sure his face is flaming right now.
"Okay!" Rachel said brightly, clapping her hands once. "How about we play twister now?"
Nico strides out of the room, shoulders stiff and rigid.
"Crap," Connor mutters to himself, and chases after Nico.
Nico's sitting on the kitchen counter, not meeting Connor's eyes, fiddling around with a ninja shaped magnet.
"Nico," Connor starts, but Nico cuts him off.
"Is it-" Nico swallows thickly. "Is it so hard to admit that you're dating a boy?" He looks up at Connor, his eyes vicious and agonized. "Or is it just hard to admit it to the boy you're in love with?"
Connor's confused for a moment, but then he realizes that Nico means Travis, Travis being the one Connor's in love with, that's what Nico's implying. "No," Connor tells Nico. "No, Nico, I love you." And in that instant, he knows it's true. Because Connor can't stop loving his brother. He loves him so so so much. But now, the love is more of a brotherly type then not.
And Connor, he loves Nico. He loves the way Nico looks at him, with trusting eyes. He loves the way Nico makes him feel, like he's on drugs and flying. He loves the way he can make Nico laugh, and he loves the way Nico makes him forget all about his previous feelings for his brother.
"Nico," Connor cups Nico's face in his hands. "Nico, it's just you. I love you," And he tries to pour all the honesty and warmth that he has into his voice.
"No," Nico disagrees, "It was always Travis, forever Travis, wasn't it?"
"It used to be," Connor says, studying Nico's expression. "But now, it's you," He tells him, and Nico is biting his lower lip, and Connor can tell that he's trying not to believe him. "I promise," Connor murmurs, right before molding his lips to Nico's.
Nico sighs in the kiss, and Connor deepens their embrace, and the two of them exchange soft bites and mumbled words, and Connor is content to spend the rest of his life in Rachel's kitchen, kissing Nico.
Connor feels Nico's lips curve up against his, and Connor smiles in return. He faintly hears the kitchen door swing open, but he couldn't care less.
"Whoa!" It's Travis, and he's probably gaping right now.
Connor and Nico reluctantly part. "Travis, this is Nico. He's my boyfriend." Nico positively beams at Connor, and Connor can't help but to grin back. "We're getting pretty serious."
"Whatever man, but dude, this is a kitchen! People have to cook here! Kiss somewhere else, please!" Travis grumbles as he grabs a beer from the refrigerator.
Connor chuckles, and Nico takes his hand and drags him closer, sucks on Connor's lower lip, and all Connor can think is I love you, I love you, I love you.
A/N: I hoped you guys liked this! I would love reviews, so feel free to give me one. XD
I know that the fic is a little sudden in some parts, so I would love if you have any suggestions for me. Thanks!