I Will Not Bow

Characters: Regulus Black

Summary: Regulus' thoughts from his time as a Death Eater leading until his own death.

Song belongs to Breaking Benjamin, called 'I Will Not Bow'

Now the dark begins to rise
Save your breath, it's far from over
Leave the lost and dead behind
Now's your chance to run for cover

He was standing in the middle of a crowd. Left to right, identical faces, identical masks. A monochromatic world of black and silver, broken only by the crimson eyes. Crimson met his pale blue-gray and he straightened, proud to be here, proud to represent his family.

I don't want to change the world
I just want to leave it colder
Light the fuse and burn it up
Take the path that leads to nowhere

His world, his path had been set when his older brother had fled at 16. He was a disgrace, blasted off the family tapestry by the mother sobbing with insane grief and fury. A taboo subject, him and his blood-traitor friends. Sometimes, wistfully, he wished to join him in his open-hearted denial, to escape his duties.

All is lost again
But I'm not giving in
I will not bow, I will not break
I will shove the world away
I will not fall, I will not fade
I will take your breath away

Here he was, kneeling on the grass, bile in his throat and mouth. Disillusioned, disheartened, the face of a young half-blood girl kept swimming into the forefront of his thoughts. His Lord, the man he served so proudly for 3 years, was nothing but a hypocrite. When his family house elf returned from his 'special mission' and sobbed out his wretched story, he knew his place. If he was going to die, it was going to have some purpose.

Watch the end from dying eyes
Now the dark is taking over
Show me where forever dies
Take the fall and run to heaven

He dressed all in black. There was an odd, sardonic smile on his face as he considered the material. Fitting, the colour of mourning. He had a great deal to mourn, the loss of innocence, youth and morals. The greatest thing he would grieve for was the presence of his precious older brother.

As pale, scabbed hands grabbed him arms and dragged him into the icy water he remembered teasing his cousin Bella with his precious brother. As he gasped aloud and the icy, somehow stale water rushed into his lungs he remembered their bitter parting that summer day. As sight began to fail and his body relaxed he smiled. He had paid his price, someday he would be reunited with his precious older brother.

All is lost again
But I'm not giving in
I will not bow, I will not break
I will shove the world away
I will not fall, I will not fade
I will take your breath away

And I'll survive paranoid
I have lost the will to change
And I am not proud, cold blooded, fake
I will shove the world away

To the Dark Lord, I know I will be dead long before you read this. I want you to know that it was I who discovered your secret. I have stolen the real Horcrux and intend to destroy it as soon as I can. I face death in the hope that when you meet your match, you will be mortal once more. R.A.B. Regulus Arcturus Black, younger brother to the beloved and missed Sirius Orion Black. Forgive me, Siri. I finally understand.