I do not own any of the Disney characters named herein, and am only borrowing them for a tale told for entertainment purposes only.
Kim Possible: Devil's Child Redux
Hello again, Elizabeth,
Sorry it's been so long, but the past few weeks have been really crazy! You wouldn't believe what happened to us lately even if I could tell you. (Which I can't). At least, not yet. Mom says we have to keep some of the details close to the vest, or something like that. Sometimes she says things that just don't make any sense. I guess it's an adult thing.
I can tell you that we are living with someone my mom really likes! Oh, yeah, and mom is completely healed! I told you she was been really sick, remember? Well, our new friend helped her get better, and she's as good as new now. Maybe better.
In fact, I think they have something going on lately, though they both try to act cool around me. Like I don't notice the way they keep looking at each other. Oh, and you will never believe what we did just last week. We had a picnic, but things sure got crazy fast. You would never believe who showed up…..
"Damn it, Princess," Shego hissed as she came into the kitchen, waving a hand through the thick smoke as a smoke alarm wailed shrilly. "I told you I'd do the cooking!"
"I was just making tea," Kim protested.
"Out of what," Shego coughed as she headed for the door, Kim already opening the window over the sink after dropping a blackened pan into the sink that was sending up clouds of noxious steam.
Not half, however, what the burner on the stove was still sending up.
"Tea bags," Kim huffed defensively. "It said put the bags in a pan with boiling water, and…."
"Gah, Kimmie," she said, waving a hand over the smoldering burner. "Did you make sure the tags didn't touch the burner?"
"Never mind," she sighed, reaching to pull the smoke alarm down, and disconnect the battery long enough for the smoke to clear. "I'd better call the fire department, and let them know it's a false alarm this time."
"That's not funny," Kim grumbled.
"Look, why don't you go pack the basket with….other stuff. You know, dishes, cups, or whatever, and I'll finish up the food."
Kim gave her a despondent expression, and nodded. "Fine. I just thought I could make tea. I mean, how hard could it be?"
Shego shot a pointed look at the still smoldering burner.
"We'll buy drinks on the way to the park," she told the redhead.
"Sure," Kim murmured, and walked out of the kitchen.
For a woman that could do anything, she really was helpless in the kitchen. She still remembered the microwave they had to toss after Kim came in after one of her missions she had resumed recently late one night, and tried to make a pizza. Only she forgot that the plastic had to be removed first. It wasn't a pretty scene. It didn't smell very good either.
No wonder the woman lived on take-out. Well, that and energy bars. She had cases of the things stored all around the place. Literally cases.
It's a wonder she was in the condition she was in considering.
"Are we there yet," Angel asked with a wide grin from the backseat.
"That wasn't funny the first twenty times," Shego growled from the passenger seat of the K-IV that currently looked like a minivan in camouflage mode.
"Just remember, I've got the food back here with me," the coltish girl beamed, her green eyes dancing with mischief.
Since Kim had put those energy-dampening bands on her wrists, she had not really had an episode in over a month. Even when she lost her temper that time when one of those GJ agents came to 'inspect' Kim's house where they were now staying on some kind of provisional parole her mom's friend had somehow managed to pull off for the two of them.
There was even a chance she might get to go to a real school this year. Three weeks of summer left, but she was enjoying being a regular girl after Kim decided they could move in with her in her Upperton house. She even had her own room, since Kim rented a really huge house with two stories, and a basement.
So far as she could tell, Kim must have spent most of the time in the basement, where she had made a lab of some kind for her work. She wasn't sure, since she wasn't allowed down there. Her brothers often came over, and they went down there a lot, though, so she was pretty sure she was right about the lab.
Her mom was a little funny about moving in with Kim, even though she had already admitted she loved her, but she sure did take to housework fast after she had finally agreed.
Of course, it was pretty clear that Kim didn't do much. Housework, that is. Either that, or she was just hardly home. Which might be about right since in the past four weeks, Kim had been gone on missions for someone more than half the time she was there even if she weren't part of GJ any more.
She still giggled over the way her mom made her cancel one mission that was something of a follow-up for some guy that just wanted 'free service,' as her mom put it.
Mr. Wade agreed, and informed the man that 'follow-ups' required new negotiations for payment. The guy didn't call back. At least, not yet.
Now, on a very rare weekend home, Kim had abruptly suggested a picnic. The other Possibles were coming, too, and she kind of liked Kim's family. Even her dad was kind of nice. She couldn't wait. A real park, with other kids like her.
Well, maybe not just like her. Still, she felt really happy. She couldn't wait to start making friends. Maybe even friends she would get to see at school if the people her mom and Kim were talking to agreed to let her in.
She was sure they would. After all, Kim was vouching for her!
"Looks like dad and the tweebs beat us here," Kim said, pulling into the crowded parking lot with a sour glance around as she tried to find a space for the K-IV that wouldn't have people bumping into the vehicle, and wondering why a mini-van had invisible airfoils.
Shego saw the two vehicles she had last seen at the Possible's house, and nodded. "I think I see them. Over by that big tree there. They already have a table, and….."
A huge flame roared out of the barbeque grill near the table, and Kim sighed. "Looks like Jim is cooking."
"Good thing we brought extra," Shego muttered dryly.
"Well, he is the only person I know that cooks with rocket fuel," Kim smiled wryly. "I guess Ellie hasn't broken him of that one yet."
"You think he'd back off since his kid was born," Shego remarked. "He's going to blow something up the way he's going."
Kim shot her another wry glance, and the green-skinned woman rolled her eyes.
"Okay, I deserve that one. Still, that little boy of his aught to be making him a little more cautious?"
"You obviously do not know my brother as well as you thought you did," Kim smirked now, finally pulling into a space not too far from the table. "Ellie's already had to talk him out of building him a spaceship his size."
"He's still a baby," Shego gasped.
"Well, at least Tim seems a bit more tame."
"Ahem," Kim smirked again. "Who do you think used the twins to test his robot nanny last month? Peggy was ready to kill him. Especially since the nanny decided they needed a visit to the doctor, and took off without Tim or Peggy for Johns Hopkins in New York."
"And she didn't kill him," Shego exclaimed as Kim shut the engine down, and they climbed out.
"It was a close call," Kim allowed as they gathered the blankets, basket, and ice cooler to carry over to the picnic area. "Fortunately, he was smart enough to have put a GPS band on the nanny."
"Not the kids?"
"Peggy refuses to have her kids chipped, as she put it. After that last...incident, she didn't want the wrong people finding them. At least, not yet. Besides, they feel Kim's transporter beacons they still carry are security enough."
"And I thought my brothers could be….."
"Kimmie-Cub," James waved as they headed for the site where the rocket scientist was sitting, and helping Ellie with the kids. Peggy was doing her best to create a degree of order out of the chaos the twins had apparently created trying to 'improve' the grill, and other aspects of their outdoor experience. "Hello, Shego. Angela."
"Dr. P," Angela grinned, using Ron's nickname for the man. "Wow, Kenny is growing fast," she grinned at the small child in his arms.
"Well, he's a healthy, happy baby," the older man grinned, bouncing the smiling baby on his knee.
"And Tim hasn't launched him into space yet," she asked teasingly.
"Confidentially speaking, he knows what would happen if he tried," James told her in a stage whisper as he glanced over at Peggy who was fuming at the smoldering remains of the grill as Jim shank back from her and Ellie's cold glares.
"Shall we save the day," Shego chortled as she opened up her basket, and began to pull out pans and bowls.
"I see you anticipated your brother's lack of cooking skills," James told Kim who was dropping the cooler she carried filled with iced drinks near the table.
"Actually, I did, Dr. Possible," Shego smirked. "You don't want to know what Kimmie did this time trying to make….."
"Shego," Kim huffed. "It was just an accident. It could have happened to anyone."
"Yet is always seems to happen to you," Shego drawled.
"Keep on," Shego was told as Kim glared at her as she pulled out a few bottles of cold water to set on the table.
"Hey, sis," the twins grinned as they left the ruined grill to cool off when they realized Shego was unloading food from her basket. "What did you bring?"
"Ask Shego," Kim grumbled. "She cooked."
"Now, Kim," Ellie smiled as she joined them. "At least you have a good cook staying with you now."
"Mom's a great cook," Angela declared as the boys came over, and eyed the dishes. "Wait till you taste her Mexican Macaroni Casserole."
"Mexican Macaroni," Jim and Tim both echoed.
"You have to try it," Kim did smile now. "Shego is a very good cook."
"Wow, did that hurt," Shego murmured to her.
"Keep on, and you get to do all the dishes, too," Kim shot back.
"Don't I always?"
"Oh, you so do not," Kim protested.
"I so do. You break everything you toch. Sometimes I wonder if you don't do it on purpose to avoid washing them!"
"I so do not!"
"Uh….Sometimes I do them," Angela pointed out.
Both adults eyed her for a moment, and Ellie murmured to the girl, "Are they always this combative?"
"Oh, yeah," Angela murmured back.
"Wow. Issues," Peggy whispered from behind them.
"Definitely. Someone needs a time out."
"Big time," Peggy agreed with Ellie.
"We could send them….."
"No," both women snapped at their husbands who had spoken as one again. A sure sign they were thinking of things best left unspoken. Or unrealized.
"No, what," Kim asked suspiciously as she broke off her heated discussion with Shego who was simultaneously laying out plates for everyone as if it were completely normal to be arguing while she set up the picnic table.
"Nothing," the twins chimed with less than sincere intent.
Shego eyed them, but said nothing. "Well," she gestured as she stood back. "Dig in."
The twins didn't hesitate, and were the first to start filling their plates.
"Don't worry. They get to clean up," Ellie told Shego who watched the pair heap the food on their plates as if they had been starving.
"No big," Tim said as he paused to scoop a can of cola out of the open cooler. "We have a new vacu-bot we've been waiting to….."
"No robots. You," Peggy told her husband flatly. "No robots. No toys. No tricks. You, and your hands."
"Man, that tanks," Jim huffed.
"That's what you get for almost ruining our outting. Again," Ellie told him. "Those steaks would have been fine without your….improvements."
"Ah, they weren't that burned…."
"Now, boys. What's the first thing I advised you when you told me you were engaged?"
"Always listen to the woman of the house," both sighed.
"But we're not technically in the house just now," Jim remarked thoughtfully.
"And you're not likely to get back inside if you don't cooperate, Timothy," Ellie informed him. "Or do you like sleeping in the garage?"
Tim wisely did not reply as he chose that moment to shove a mouthful of baked macaroni and cheese into his mouth.
And promptly gasped as the spices in the Mexican macaroni assaulted every one of his taste buds at once.
"Good, isn't it," Angela asked him as she began filling her own plate. "I really like the way the pepperjack cheese brings out the flavor of the jalapenos."
"Yeah," Tim rasped, gulping down half a can of his cold drink. "Good," he choked.
"Wuss," Jim smirked, greedily taking a third bite of the spicy dish himself.
"You should try the barbeque wings," Angela told Jim. "Mom makes her own sauce."
"They are quite good," James agreed as he nibbled on one while keeping an eye on the three children that now sat on a blanket near the table. The two toddlers were making a mess of the plates their mothers had made for them, and Lia was teasing Kenny with a cracker she dangled over his face.
"Lia," Tim chided her daughter. "You know Kenny isn't old enough for that kind of snack yet. So stop picking on him."
Lia didn't bat an eye as she shoved the cracker in her mouth, and declared, "I not. I just showing him what we's eating."
Kim couldn't help but smile.
"Feeling better yet," Shego asked.
"Yeah. I guess I was pretty wound up after that last mission. Sorry about the tea."
"Yeah. Well, I guess you can't help it," she grinned.
"Shego," she sputtered.
"Just promise you are going to leave the kitchen to me from now on. Just as you said you would from the start?"
"Fine," she sighed.
"It's still kind of funny, though. The girl who can do anything….."
"I guess that's not exactly true," Kim sighed, opening a bottle of water she had selected for herself. "Is it."
"I don't know," Shego murmured, putting a hand on her nearest hand when she rested it on the table a moment after sitting beside her. "You saved my life, and you helped my daughter live normally when I had about given up."
"Not one word," Ellie hissed at Jim who had just shared a less than innocent expression with his sibling as Shego and Kim simply smiled at one another.
Which, naturally, was when Angela innocuously asked, "Are you going to get married yet?"
Both women blushed furiously for a moment before Ellie cut in. "Let's give them time, Angela. After all, these things take time. It took me almost two years to get Jim to realize he even liked me."
"Now you're exaggerating," Jim sputtered as James chuckled at his son's expression.
"Actually, son, I do seem to recall you spending quite a few anxious moments there before she finally…"
"Dad," Jim yelped, and shoved a bowl his way. "Try the peas. Just the way you like them. Green."
They all laughed at that as James declared, "Why, yes. They are, aren't they. You know, that reminds me…"
They all groaned at him as he began another trip down memory lane that likely only made sense to him.
They were just finishing up the cleaning of the picnic area when they heard the sounds of a helicopter overhead.
All eyes went to the sleek, black stealth copter moving to hover overhead as Kim groaned at the well-groomed head that was stuck out a window without a single hair being blown out of place.
"Junior," Shego frowned. "What's he want now?"
"I have a feeling I know," she sighed, and waved at her dad, the last to leave beside themselves, since the twins had already gone with their own families. After talking their wives into lettering them try a vacu-bot they had less than coincidentally brought along after all.
Surprisingly, it worked so well that many of the park patrons in their immediate area asked them to borrow it, and the boys made a sizeable profit renting it out as it took mere minutes to clean what would have taken anyone else hours or more to clean up. Even their flash-fried grill now sparkled like new.
"Don't worry, dad. It's just….a social call."
"Junior," Shego frowned again as she finished gathering up their own things to carry toward the disguised Kimminator. "Trust me. He's not so much about the evil these days. That would be his wife."
"His wife," Shego gaped.
"Oh, Kimberly Anne! Thank goodness I have found you! That informant I paid an extravagantly obscene amount of money to find you actually earned his pay this time," the tanned, yet indolent multi-billionaire's son cried as he descended from a ladder as the helicopter couldn't exactly land among the trees, and the parking lot was rather full.
Then again, Junior was all about the entrance even now.
"What is it now, Junior," she sighed as the man dropped the last few feet to land near her. He ran over, grabbed up both hands, and kissed her palms gallantly.
"Oh, my beloved blue fox, if only we had…..!"
"Let…..go," Shego growled, her hands starting to flutter suspiciously as she eyed the man all but drooling over Kim.
Junior stared as if only just seeing her, and demanded, "Shego? Whatever in the world are you doing here? Father was certain you had run away to the circus. Or something."
Angela couldn't help but giggle as she stared at the man.
"Is he for real?"
"Oh, yeah," Kim sighed, pulling her hands free with effort. "Junior, what is it now?"
"Oh! Oh, Kimberly, it is horrible! You do not know the suffering with which I have suffered of late!"
"She would if you quit babbling, and just spit it out, rich boy."
"Shego, I see you are still just as charming as ever," he smiled at her, utterly as clueless as the first time they had met.
"Junior. Focus," Kim snapped. "Why did you fly a helicopter into the park's airspace just to call on me? Especially when you could have just dropped me a line through Wade."
"Oh, I couldn't do that! This was a family matter! A very discreet family matter!"
"Really? So….what is it this time," Kim asked.
"My beloved Bonnie!"
"Didn't you arrest her last week," Shego asked baldly.
"I'm not getting the picture here," Shego muttered, shaking her head as she stared at the annoying intruder.
"Neither am I," Kim admitted with a weary sigh.
"I need you to get her out for me. The way you got Shego out of….whatever she was in."
Shego sniggered. She couldn't help it. She sniggered.
"Junior, there's nothing I can do," Kim told him. "She broke the law."
"You helped Shego! And let's face it, the sour green woman is far worse than my beloved Bon-Bon could ever be! She was just shopping for a little new bling," Junior protested in a whiny voice that made her want to choke him. Hard.
How Bonnie tolerated him was beyond her, but Kim was hardly in a position to help him even if he was relatively clean of late. Because Bonnie wasn't.
"Junior, trying to rob the U.S. treasury to devalue the dollar to help send the economy over a cliff is not shopping….."
"Please," he actually went to his knees, eyes brimming tears. "You cannot know how much she means to me. How much I need her. How much I….."
"Junior, why don't you just arrange for a conjugal visit?"
"You can do that," he asked, blinking away the tears with a remarkably straight face as he stood up again.
Nearby, Shego was trying very hard not to laugh as Angela just stared incredulously.
"Yes, Junior," she sighed. "You can do that. Go visit her. Just don't try to break her out."
"Oh, that's completely unnecessary. I only need to see her for a moment. You see, she changed all my PIN numbers again, and I cannot even use my credit cards without her. Honestly, she is taking father's evil lessons far too seriously," he huffed, and walked off to jump up and actually pose as he clung to the ladder before the helicopter hovering overhead lifted him up, and carried him away. "She even cackles better than I do," he shouted back down as he rose into the air after grabbing the ladder.
"Was that guy for real," Angela declared artlessly as she stared after him.
"Oh, yeah," Shego nodded as Kim just shook her head.
"So, the missus froze his credit cards? Again?"
"I was not going to ask," Kim told Shego as two police cruisers pulled up behind their 'van' now as Shego grimaced herself at their timely appearance.
"I'm sure they aren't here for you. You've been a model citizen lately. Remember?"
"That's right," Shego grumbled. "Rub it in."
Angela only grinned.
"Now you're being silly, mom," she told her as one of the officers, a huge man that looked carved out of stone, leaned out a window.
"Sorry about that flyover, Officer Hobble," Kim told the new state police chief for their region. "Just someone with no sense looking for advice."
"Well, that's a relief. It's been a while since one of those baddies came around, and we'd like to keep it that way. No offense," he nodded at Shego.
"Whatever," Shego grumbled.
"Momma, be nice," Angela murmured. "Remember, you told me that you can….."
"Okay, okay," she cut her daughter off before she revealed the wrong advice to the wrong people. "Kids," she grimaced at the officer as she clamped a hand over her daughter's mouth. Just in case.
"Got a pair of hooligans myself, Miss Go. One of them is in maximum security in juvie," he drawled indifferently.
"Not Simon again," Kim sighed.
"Again," the man nodded. "He'd better hope they keep him there long enough for me to cool off this time, too. Or he won't have to worry about repeat offenses. Good to see you behaving, Miss Go. Kimberly," he nodded, and the car drove off as the man signaled the younger officer driving.
"Is that guy a robot, or what? He never seems to age."
"He credits his military training," Kim shrugged at Shego. "He's okay. Just a bit….."
"Uh-huh," Shego drawled as she recalled meeting the man for her probation, and having to put up a five hundred thousand dollar bond in advance to cover any 'accidental' damages if something did happen.
"Hey. Ice cream, remember," Angela asked the two women as they went back to packing away their picnic leftovers into the apparent van.
"Haven't you eaten enough," Shego asked her.
Kim stifled a giggle at that, and Shego only shook her head.
"Fine. Grab the blanket, and fold it this time. The sooner we're done, the sooner we can….."
Shego had never seen anyone fold a blanket so fast.
Not far north of Rabat on the craggy coastline of Morocco, a sputtering, weary man climbed up out of the surf, and knelt on the narrow beach to look around.
Bleary, dark eyes looked around, as beetled brows furrowed, trying to focus on the world about him. A bluish-tinted hand rose to wipe water from a dripping face, and then the naked man shoved to his feet even as two uniformed officers emerged from their car, rushing toward the man even as they drew their weapons.
The thin, blue lips split, and stretched into a rictus of a smile as the man spotted him, and he declared, "Ah, just my size."
Just before a series of vines exploded from his body, and seized the men, throttling them before they could even react.
Quickly stripping one body of his clothes, he ignored the fallen weapons, and dressed in the dead man's uniform as the vines retreated back into the flesh that spawned them. He glanced back at the ocean, shrugged, and then walked toward the idling car on the nearby highway. He glanced around the interior of the vehicle, noted the official papers in the glove box, and grinned again.
"Rabat? Perfect. I should still have an old lair near here!"
Cackling just a bit manically, he put the car into gear, and backed off the highway into a ditch.
His howl in indignation could be heard for over a mile.
To Be Continued…