A really shot fic that I did a while back. Not only my first songfic but also my first loser fic :S

I'm writing some longer Loser fics at the moment but I wanted to post this as, as I said, I've never wrote songfic before and I thought I'd ease into Loser fics *worried face*. Um… feel free to review and I hope it doesn't totally destroy all that is Loser. Yikes, I'm totally wrecking this Authors note so I'll just be quiet now :)

Disclaimer: Unfortunately I don't own any of the Losers and if I did I would be hugging Jensen to me right now, boxers, pirate hat and all :)
I also have no ownership of the song "Dance with my father again" as it is the amazing Luther Vandross' If I was such a musical mastermind, my friends would have either gone to go hunt down the aliens who kidnapped the real me or found me under my bed as a gooey puddle of disintergrated awesomeness


Back when I was a child,

Before life removed all the innocence

My father would lift me high

And dance with my mother and me and then

Spin me around till I fell asleep

And then up the stairs he would carry me

And I knew for sure,

I was loved.

Jacob Jensen whimpered in his sleep and in the bed opposite, Cougar watched through the darkness as the younger man tossed and turned, a thin sheen of sweat covering his skin. Jensen struggled in his sleep as he saw his father picking the younger version of himself up in his arms, swaying and spinning in a mock waltz, other people on the dance floor of the hotel dancing around him as five-year old Jensen's eyes drooped tiredly. Mother came, smiling at him and father wrapped an arm around her, dancing together for the longest time, until Jensen eventually fell asleep. Even even after his head drooped, asleep, onto his father's shoulder, his father held him, swaying in a waltz with his wife as they danced to the last song. Then his father carried him softly up the stairs and kissed his forehead, his mother waiting behind him to do the same. This was where Jensen belonged.

If I could get another chance,

Another walk

Another dance with him,

I'd play a song that would never ever end

'Cos I'd love, love, love, to dance with my father again

The dream changed and Jensen watched as his father faded away into nothing and he yelled out in his sleep. Cougar got up out of bed, Jensen's yelling becoming louder and louder as he thrashed.

"Shh mi amigo, shh" Cougar said, crouching down next to Jensen's bed, putting a hand on the mattress next to him.

When I and my mother would disagree

To get my way I would run from her to him

He'd make me laugh just to comfort me

And finally make me do just what my mama said

Later that night when I was asleep

He left a dollar under my sheet

Never dreamed that he would be gone from me

Jensen almost let out a scream as he realised where his dream had taken him. The car. The crash. Oh God, no, please. Seven-year-old Jensen sat in the back of the car, kicking his feet and chattering away. He'd chattered ever since he could talk. Dad was chuckling in the front and his mum was talking back and forth with her son, looking in her mirror to fix her makeup as she talked away with her son. She frowned as she saw that Jensen wasn't wearing his seatbelt and she felt her heart leap with concern.

"Jacob honey, put your seatbelt on" she said and seven-year-old Jensen made a face.

"But it itches" Jensen whined.

"Put it on please deary, it's important" she said.

"But mom-" Jensen groaned.

"Jacob." His mother warned, her voice turning serious. Jensen's father turned round and flashed him a grin.

"She made me put my seatbelt on too" he whispered loudly, pretending to look disheartened. Jake laughed and reached for his seatbelt.

The car was hit by a speeding lorry at a crossroads just as Jensen's seatbelt had clicked into place. The lorry driver hadn't seen the red light and the driver of the family car that he had hit was killed instantly. The mother and child survived.

Jacob Jensen would never forget the last time he saw his father, after the crushing eighteen tonne impact of the lorry. He wished he could.

If I could steal one final glance,

One final stand

One final dance with him,

I'd play a song that would never ever end

'Cos I'd love, love, love, to dance with my father again

Cougar put a hand on his friend's trembling shoulder, unsure whether to wake him. He'd been screaming, really screaming, crying too, but he was getting quieter now. Clay had run in to check on them, but Cougar had given him a look that had explained it all. Too many people would only panic Jensen more. Cougar could handle this. Clay had run off to tell the others. Cougar looked at the shaking boy in front of him and felt pity surge through him as Jensen choked through a sob. He decided to wake him.

Sometimes I'd listen outside her door

And I'd hear how my mother cried for him

I pray for her even more than me

I pray for her even more than me

Jensen choked over a sob as he slept as his twelve-year-old dream-self crouched outside his mother's bedroom and heard her weeping through the slit in the doorway. Five years, and not a day had gone by that she had not cried for him. Twelve-year-old Jensen bowed his head to his knees and prayed to a God he didn't believe in.

I know I'm praying for much too much, but could you send back

The only man she loved

I know you don't do this usually

But dear Lord she's dying, to dance with my father again.

Jensen jolted awake as Cougar shook his shoulder, scrambling backwards in surprise, army training kicking in. Cougar raised his hands so that Jensen could see them, even in the darkness. Cougar watched as instantaneous relief seemed to cross over Jensen as recognition hit him and his entire body sagged, shoulders and head going limp as leant back a little in relief, tears streaming down his face. Jensen choked over a wet, incoherent sound that sounded like a relieved sounding form of Cougar's name and sniffed lightly. Cougar smiled weakly at him and Jensen slithered forwards on the bed and allowed Cougar to wrap his arms around him.

"Shh, mi amigo, esta bien, esta bien" Cougar soothed, smoothing Jensen's blonde hair with one hand, rubbing small, slow circles into his back with his other. Jensen stayed there until he could stop sniffling and his eyes had begun to dry, Cougar gently brushing away the tears on his face. Jensen gave a weak smile as Cougar traced circles between his shoulders. This was where he belonged.

Every night I fall asleep, and this is all I ever dream