Resurrection of the Uzumaki Clan
Chapter 1: Graduation Test
I got out of bed, yawning.
Looking into the mirror, I blew a raspberry at myself and did a few silly poses.
I went to my kitchen and opened the fridge, finding a carton of milk. As expected, the milk had gone bad 2 weeks ago...
Opening the cabinet, I pulled out a Ramen pack, shrimp-flavored. I boiled the water and then filled up a small bowl to the brim with the noodles and water, adding in the easy-cook Veggies and salt packet last.
"Itadakimasu!" I yelled happily to no one in particular. I managed to slurp down the noodles in about 10 seconds.
My orange jumpsuit hung next to the door, and I hummed to myself as I threw them on. Yea I get made fun of all the time for wearing orange, but so what, it's my favorite color... and it's not like any of my friends care anyway. (Not that I had any).
After putting on my trusty goggles and slinging my backpack over my shoulder, I headed to the Academy for the final exam day.
Today's the last day of the Academy. As soon as I entered, all eyes turned towards me with disdain. Sakura, my former crush, punched me as soon as I walked in. Like, immediately, no warning, whatsoever. Kind of frustrating, because I didn't even ask her out this time, it was as if she had assumed I would anyway.
Because I was late, Iruka-sensei looked furious. I sat down next to that teme, Sasuke, and pulled out my books, trying not to bother anyone.
Unfortunately, Iruka came right by and started screaming his head off at me for being 45 minutes late on the final day.
I said "sorry" like a million times, but he just kept on going.
I felt a pair of eyes gazing into my back and I turned around swiftly. It was that girl with the strange eyes, Hinata. I smiled at her and she started blushing. I gave her my trademark grin and thumbs up, and she fainted.
Iruka stood up in the front, spewing off about some kind of "once on the battlefield you don't have time to make mistakes" crap.
I looked around and it seemed no one was listening except Sakura, the biggest fangirl in the world. She was taking notes furiously and peeking over at Sasuke to see if he was paying attention to her.
Meanwhile sitting in front of me was Ino. She's a blonde just like myself, but she's pretty stupid. So I poked her and whispered,
She turned around and gave me a death glare. "What?"
"What's Iruka-sensei talking about?"
She shrugged. "Why would you ask me? I don't know!"
I smirked. "I thought so." She really was pretty stupid.
She scowled heavily. "NARUTO-BAKA!" She jumped over and tried to tackle me. Unfortunately she tripped over the desk and instead ended up landing on top of me, right in my lap.
I arched an eyebrow. "Ino, if you wanted to feel me up, you could have just asked."
Unfortunately I paid dearly for that comment, as she started beating me up in the middle of the class. As usual, Iruka-sensei didn't notice (he lectures with his back turned to us, and he has already learned to accept that any noise that comes from my side of the room was guaranteed to be annoying as hell to deal with).
After she got her fill she returned to her seat still scowling.
I grimaced. Ino was also a Sasuke fan-girl, and Sasuke fan-girls were not only the easiest to piss off, but also the most violent.
So the final tests soon began, and I swear to god, the Sasuke fan-club could not have gotten any louder. The Uchiha boy wonder himself stepped up in front of the class and all he had to do was to perform the simple bunshin jutsu, which he did, and the crowd went wild.
Unbelievable! Unbe-fucking-lievable! I don't like to swear but honestly situations like this just made me want to puke.
I gave Sasuke a dirty look as he walked by me, smirking like the elitist bastard he was. Sakura went up to him to ask him out, but he just ignored her.
Anyway, Iruka was calling my name so I went up. I saw Hinata looking at me, so I winked at her. She fell off her chair.
Ino was staring at me too, looking weird. So I blew her a raspberry and she got all red in the face.
Turning back towards Iruka-sensei, I did the standard seals and a bunshin popped out in a cloud of smoke. Of course, it was completely dead, looking like a pile of ash. Iruka immediately began screaming his head off about me being a failure.
Honestly can't I catch a damn break once in a while? I've been having chakra control problems since I entered the academy, these teachers KNEW that I can't perform a bunshin to save my life! So why did they keep testing me on it?
They should have tested my Henge skills. I knew how to do that extremely well.
I glared at Iruka and then yelled out my trademark jutsu – Oroike (Sexy) no Jutsu, becoming this smoking hot chick with huge breasts and long blonde hair.
Jumping on Iruka, I began to slap him with my breasts. He fainted in about 2 seconds as I cooed "IRUKA-KUUUNN!"
True, it was kind of disgusting for me to be jumping another man like that but honestly I didn't care. I henge'd back and glared at everyone, they were all laughing at me, pointing and making fun of me.
"Hey Naruto, what do you call a blonde with a runny nose?" Kiba yelled.
"FUCK YOU!" I screamed back.
Kiba shook his head. "FULL!" He started laughing like a maniac and everyone kind of joined in because they couldn't believe someone could laugh so hard at his own joke and then it kind of snowballed from there.
Iruka-sensei woke up now and gave me the look of death, and I knew it was all over. "YOU. FAAAAILLLLL!" he screamed, pointing an obscenely shaking finger at me.
Laughter renewed as I couldn't bear my shame anymore, I ran out of the classroom and slammed the door on my way out. Screw them. I didn't need them! I'll become a total badass ninja all on my own.
It was late afternoon so I headed to the Ichiraku Ramen Stand.
Ayame was the only one there. She was wearing an apron and a tank-top underneath, I could see a pretty, shapely body. I think she's about a few years older than me but I never asked.
As usual, she gave me a huge smile, which caused my heart to leap. Unfortunately at that point, my eyes went straight towards her chest, and I couldn't keep my eyes off of it. I turned red in the face immediately.
I sat on one of the booths and ordered two Ramen bowls a Miso and a Chicken. She went right on to cooking but asked me how I was doing.
Unfortunately, having to answer that question reminded me of the epic failure just occurred. "Ayame-chan... thanks for asking. I'm ok, I guess."
She brought me the first of my Ramen. "You can tell me if you want."
I shook my head. "... not today..."
"No problem. Naruto-kun, you know I'm always here for you right?" She gave me the most heartwarming smile. Compared to the people at school, she was so nice to me. I had the urge to hug her, but I stopped myself, it was inappropriate.
"Ayame-chan, I think you're my favorite person in the world right now!" I couldn't help but grin.
She blushed prettily and turned around to bring me my second bowl. She set it lovingly in front of me and glanced at me with an odd look.
I was eating so I didn't even notice, until suddenly she was standing very close to me.
Ayame murmured softly, "Naruto-kun do you... like me?" I looked at her in shock.
"Ayame-chan... I… I…"
She gently held my head to her chest. Blood rushed to my head as I stammered out, "I d-do like you. You're so nice to me... and you're beautiful as well. W-why do you ask?"
Pulling back, she smiled warmly at me. "Hehe. Just wondering." She blushed furiously and hurried to begin washing dishes, ignoring me the rest of the time. Lamely, I finished my noodles and put the money on the counter, highly embarrassed myself. I began to wonder if I should simply retire as a Ninja and become a Ramen Cook instead.
While walking back to my home, Mizuki-sensei suddenly showed up. "Hey Naruto, are you feeling ok?" He asked.
I gave him a pointed look. What did he think? You can't expect someone to fail the academy exam and feel OK about it afterwards. That exam was so easy, yet I was the only idiot dumb enough to have failed it.
He put a hand on my shoulder and smiled. "Naruto-kun, don't worry. I believe in you. You can pass the test if you do this…"
He started telling me this roundabout way I could graduate, and so I listened eagerly. The task didn't seem hard, especially for a prankster such as myself. But why that scroll specifically?
I shut my mind from those inquisitive thoughts and immediately headed to the Hokage tower.
Grabbing the scroll was a complete breeze. I walked into the Hokage's office, put on my Sexy no Jutsu henge, and the Old man fainted immediately. It seems the older you get in this village, the more perverted you become.
I eased past his study and went into the back room where I find my scroll. Tossing it over my shoulder, I leaped out of the Hokage tower and made a run for the forest.
The question of whether I had done something illegal crossed my mind a few times, but I shoved them away. If I passed this test, I would be able to finally call myself a Ninja. But until then, I was nobody, just a twitchy little Academy student with no friends, no grades, and no future.