Poker Night at the Inventory belongs to Telltale Games. Winslow and everything else related to Monkey Island belong to LucasArts. The version of Alice Liddel featured in this chapter belongs to American McGee. Nico Robin belongs to Eiichiro Oda. Scott Pilgrim belongs to Bryan Lee O'Malley. Ren Hoek belongs to John Kricfalusi (or at least he should, rather than belonging to Nickelodeon).

Don't ask me to put any more characters into this yet; I've got a lot on my plate for this fic.

Like Nami in the last chapter, the Nico Robin in this fic is the pre-timeskip one.


Author's Note: Sorry I took so long, guys. I needed help for Scott's characterization. Hopefully, it was enough... Well, at any rate, enjoy!


Sitting around the table tonight, besides the player, were Alice Liddel, Nico Robin, Scott Pilgrim, and Ren Hoek.

Alice was a young woman with dark-brown hair and emerald green eyes. She wore a pale blue knee-length dress with a white pinafore overtop; the dress hid a pair of black, knee-length boots. This was a matured (and at one time, darker) version of the same Alice that had visited Wonderland when she was very young. After her adventures through another strange land, Looking-Glass Land, her parents were burned alive in a fire, and poor Alice was stricken with grief. Distraught, she fell into a catatonic state after a failed suicide attempt and was condemned to Rutledge Asylum for treatment. There she remained for roughly 10 years faced with her own survivor's guilt, and mistreatment by other patients at Rutledge ...

...until one night, when the White Rabbit beckoned her to Wonderland to undo the wicked deformities brought on by the dictatorship of the malevolent Queen of Hearts. She later discovered that by overthrowing the Queen of Hearts, Alice would not only save Wonderland, but her own sanity as well. Fortunately, she walked out of her fight with the Queen, victorious. Wonderland returned to its original state, as did its inhabitants, and Alice left the sunny gates of Rutledge Asylum accompanied by her cat Dinah and carrying a packed suitcase.

Sadly, this was not to last, because after leaving Rutledge Asylum, Alice was moved to a psychiatrist in London, the move making her insanity worse and Wonderland being warped a second time. Nobody knows exactly what happened then, but here she was at the Inventory, apparently living a better life. Mostly, considering she was gambling at the moment.

Nico Robin (Robin for short) was a tall, slender yet athletic woman with shoulder length black hair. At 28 years old, she was probably the oldest member at the table. Her eyes were brown with dark, wide pupils, and a very characteristic plain nose. She had eaten a Devil Fruit, a fruit that gives the first person to eat it some sort of ability such as turning into an animal or an element of nature, or some other kind of superpower. Robin ate the Flower-Flower Fruit, which gave her the ability to sprout body parts from anywhere. She usually sprouted arms, but she also made eyes and ears appear. Her limbs were somewhat long, especially her legs, contributing greatly to both her fighting capabilities (given the nature of her powers) and overall height, as well as a narrow waist. She was currently wearing a black outfit consisting of a white cowboy hat, a cleavage-revealing sleeveless shirt, with a wide, yellow collar covered with black concentric circle motifs, matching pants reaching down to her calves, and high-heeled shoes. She also had a string of round and yellow ornaments that hung loosely from around her waist.

Scott Pilgrim was a young man, 23 years old, with large eyes and light brown, shaggy hair. He wore a grey t-shirt with the words "GAMER" in electronic-looking green letters emblazoned across the chest and baggy jeans. He was probably, arguably, the most plain dresser in the group. He was a strange lad, though, because he saw himself as flawless and perfect when it came to relationships, blaming any problems in said relationships on the other and repressing any flaws he had, completely forgetting his mistakes and all the bad things he'd done in a relationship. This unusual attitude meant Scott usually got over breakups very quickly, but unfortunately, his continued rejection of his flaws were causing them to manifest themselves into a negative form...

Ren Hoek was the one animal at the table. He was an Asthma Hound Chihuahua with a coat-or rather, jacket-of light brown fur, and he looked emaciated. His eyes were pink, and bloodshot, and he had a tiny nub where a pink, rat-like tail once was. He had long ears and a small pink nose sitting at the end of a small muzzle. He had been described as being greedy, insane, delusional, paranoid, violent and insecure (in short, mentally unstable). Although he had, several times, threatened his feline friend, an obese Cornish Rex named Stimpy, with bodily violence due to constantly getting annoyed with his stupidity, Ren did care for Stimpy. He would often say "You eediot" (the pronunciation due to sounding a lot like Peter Lorre) and What is your problem, you sick little monkey! variations thereof.


"I've heard that you can make arms appear from anywhere," asked Alice.

Robin turned to the insane teenaged British girl sitting next to her. "Yes. You see, I ate something called a Devil Fruit. The one I ate was the Flower-Flower Fruit." To demonstrate, she sprouted an arm out of the table. Alice, having seen more bizarre things in Wonderland, wasn't as affected as Scott and Ren were; Ren jumped up onto the back of his chair in fright, letting out a high-pitched scream, and Scott was shocked and amazed.

"Okay, that is DAMN cool!" he commented, "And more than a lil' bit freaky." Then he realized something. "Wait. You're not gonna sprout eyes to look at our cards, are you?"

Robin chuckled. "Now where's the fun in that?"

Alice seemed relieved, actually. "I'm just thankful you don't do it the way the Red Queen of Hearts does. Disgusting abomination of a villain..."


"Scott," Robin asked the young man next to her, "what can you tell me about this world, Earth?"

"Hell if I know," was Scott's answer, "I'm a rocker and a gamer, not a geographer. All I do know about my world is my neighborhood in Toronto, Canada. I'm hoping I'll travel with my band, the Sex Bob-Ombs, but I'm not getting my hopes up. Seriously, worst band ever."


"Uh, Ren?" Scott asked, "What kind of animal are you? I can't tell."

Ren fumed. "I'm an Asthma-Hound Chihuahua," he replied through gritted teeth. Too many people have asked him this question already. "Here," he said, pulling out a roll of paper from his hammerspace, "see for yourself." It was a certificate of birth, and sure enough, it confirmed his breed as an Asthma-Hound Chihuahua.

"Never heard of 'em," Scott said, "Do they, like, sniff out people with asthma or something?"

"No," Ren answered a little more tactfully, "my breed HAS asthma. Or at least, it's supposed to. I, however, can smoke a cigarette without any problems." With that, he took out a cig and lit it...only to suffer a hacking cough. He quickly put it out on the table, to Winslow's irritation. There was an awkward silence, Ren fuming as Scott stared at him. "...Don't you say a word," he finally warned, pointing at the boy.


"So why are you playing, Alice?" Scott asked, "I never would've taken you for the gambling type."

"I think it better not to tell you that," Alice replied.

Robin whispered, "Didn't you say you wanted to buy a knife to defeat whatever evil remains in your Wonderland?"

"Yes," Alice whispered back, "but please don't tell them that. I only told you because I trust that you can keep it a secret. I've had enough of being bullied for my Wonderland."

Robin sighed. Alice was still somewhat mad, but she had a hero complex that kept her from committing any actual crimes. This didn't keep the archaeologist from worrying. "All right."


"I take it you have friends that you like to spend time with?" Robin asked Ren.

The chihuahua smiled. "Yeah, my pal, Stimpy. He's an eediot, but he doesn't ask for anything in return for doing him a favor." His smile departed as he muttered, "Still have to knock him around once in a while, though..."

Robin chuckled. "Sounds like someone I know."


"Ren has been eliminated from play," Winslow announced.

The Asthma-Hound Chihuahua was trying very hard not to lose his cool. He even put on a Stepford Smile. "Don't hurt anyone, Ren," he told himself through clenched teeth, his fake smile threatening to give way, "just...walk...awayyyyy...!"

Thankfully, Ren kept his cool until he was in a different room. Nobody is sure what happened after that, but there were no serious injuries caused by Ren.


"Scott has been eliminated from play."

"Okay, I think I'd better check for mirrors or something," Scott said, "No way I could've lost otherwise!" With that, Scott began walking around the room, searching for cheating implements.


Soon, it was just Alice and Robin. Both had gone All In. The cards on the table were a Six of Spades, a Six of Clubs, and a King, Six, and Ten of Hearts

The two women revealed their hole cards.

Alice had a Queen and a Three of Hearts.

"Alice has...a Flush!" Winslow announced.

Robin had a King of Diamonds and a Three of Spades.

"Robin has...a Full House!"

"Hm, that was a good hand," Robin complimented, "but luck was not on your side tonight, it seems."

"Robin wins the tournament!"

Robin chuckled pleasantly. "That was fun," she said, using some extra arms she sprouted from the table to push the chips in the pot towards her, "Normally, our navigator is blessed with this sort of luck."

"I commend your good luck," Alice told Robin, then looked away, a bit embarassed. "I just wish I could say the same for the Red Queen..."


Bonus Conversations

Now, two different characters sat with Alice: Max, the rabbit-like lagomorph that featured in the previous Bonus Conversation segment and half of the Freelance Police (the other half being an anthropomorphic brown dog named Sam); and the Heavy Weapons Guy, an enormous Russian mercenary that possessed an obsession with guns and who worked for Reliable Excavations and Demolitions (RED, for short).

"Hey, Alice," said Max, "I don't suppose you have any spare knives?"

Alice looked at Max suspiciously. "...Why do you ask?"

"Well," Max explained, "I figure if some hoodlum somehow takes my gun away and I can't use my razor-sharp teeth or crippling adorability, I should have something else up my sleeve to dish out justice."

Alice thought for a bit. "I still need my Vorpal Blade... Perhaps you would like my Vorpal Cleaver?"

"A cleaver!" Max almost screamed, "I CAN HAVE A CLEAVER? Ohhh my God~! Sam never let me have a cleaver!"

Alice rolled her eyes. "I wonder why..." Max was a little TOO eager to get weapons, she had noticed sometime after being introduced to him by The Player.


"Tycho told me you have machine gun."

Alice looked up at the Heavy, confused. "...Machine...gun?" There were no such weapons in Victorian-Era London by that name.

"Yes," the Russian man answered, "It looks like pepper grinder?"

"Ah, yes! The Duchess' Pepper Grinder!" Alice realized, "I see. But I've never heard of a 'machine gun'."

The Heavy grinned. He loved talking about this kind of weapon. "Is great weapon! There are many kinds! You have Pepper Grinder with you, or at least picture?"

"Well, I did bring the original advertisement," Alice said, searching the pockets of her dress. She fished out an old piece of paper, the advertisement, and handed it to the Heavy.

The mercenary looked at the pictured weapon curiously. "You seem to have early kind of machine gun. Crank-operated Gatling gun."

"Ah, Gatling guns. Those, I have heard of."

"How big is Pepper Grinder? Tycho says is big."

"I need both arms to lift it, if that's what you mean."

Heavy grinned, now more curious than ever. "You should bring gun sometime."

Alice smiled; many people assumed the Heavy was simple-minded just because he was big and didn't speak English fluently. It was just as her father told her, "Never judge a book by its cover."

"I'll try to remember."

END