Hey there, everyone! It's SOLmaster, or as some of you may know as the author who wrote the SpongeBob SquarePants stories "The Yellow Avenger", "Night of the Weresnail", and "Future Shock". And ever since I wrote the sequel to the latter, I haven't been able to come up with an SB story that seemed exciting enough for anyone to enjoy.

But then, I watch the Lord of the Rings movie, and I came up with this. I love the story to it, and I thought, "What if there was a SpongeBob version of it?" So after careful thinking, I decided to write one which I title "Keeper of the Spatula".

Yes, I've written parodies before, but this time it's different. I'm not copying it word for word. I'm putting in my own ideas, and ideas that I do use from the source material, it's mostly just played for laughs. But why should I explain? Why don't you just read for yourselves and see if you enjoy it? You can find a full summary on my profile if you wanna learn more.

So enough of the long author's note, time to enjoy the first chapter…

Keeper of the Spatula

Chapter 1: Songs and Spatulas

One sunny day at the Krusty Krab, many customers were there at tables enjoying delicious krabby patties, while Squidward stood at the cash register, trying to ignore another one of SpongeBob's childish songs about his favorite food in the world that his job is to cook.

"OHHHHHH!" SpongeBob sang in a high note, and then switched to his normal singing voice, "K stands for kindness that enters the soul and mind, R stands for ravishing is your outside, A stands for awesome taste! BB stands for big and best, and Y stands for why disagree?"

SpongeBob then shouted in joy and tossed his spatula in the air, only for it to slip out of his hand and bounce off the floor with a clang and slide under the grill.

"Oops," SpongeBob peeped in worry. "Don't worry, Spatty. I'll get you back."

He kneeled down onto the floor and crawled around, desperately trying to get back his spatula to continue flipping patties. He bent down further peek under the grill to see his spatula lying under.

"Ah ha!" SpongeBob said with a smile as he reached his hand under the grill. But upon feeling around for his spatula, he unknowingly pushed a mysterious button under the grill.

"I got you now." He managed to reach his arm all the way under the grill and pull out his spatula. "I'm sorry about that. Gotta be careful with my finishing notes."

Suddenly he felt a rumble beneath him and got a panicked look. "Sea quake!" he shouted as he stood up in fright.

But right below him, part of the floor started to move beneath his feet instead of vibrate and a hole opened up like a compartment and he fell through. But instead of falling through a gaping hole, SpongeBob fell down a long flight of stairs that caused him to yelp in pain with each drop.

Once he hit the ground, SpongeBob sat up and held his head as he groaned in pain. "Ohhh…" but he soon shook it off and stared and his surroundings.

It looked like an underground cavern with a bunch of storage boxes stacked on the rocky grounds. SpongeBob walked around and stared in curiosity.

"Wow," he said in amazement. "I didn't know we had a cellar."

As he walked around, he soon spotted a small pond of water up ahead, and he ran excitedly to get a closer look.

"This is amazing." SpongeBob said as he bent down toward the pond. "Mr. Krabs never mentioned he had a wading pool."

Unable to resist he closed his eyes and hopped into the water with a splash. But when he opened his eyes, he saw the water only went up to his ankles, much to his disappointment.

"Hmm," SpongeBob thought as he stared down at the shallow water. "Not much of a pool to wade in."

But something soon caught his eyes as he spotted a sparkling item in the water. He bent down and reached his hand into the water and pulled out a shiny golden spatula. His eyes twinkle at the sight of it.

"I don't believe it." SpongeBob said in awe as he held the spatula in his hands. "An actual golden spatula that I'm holding in my hands; and it's in great shape." Then he put a finger to his chin. "I wonder…"

And with that, SpongeBob quickly dashed away with the newfound golden spatula in his hand and went back up the steps.


Upstairs, Squidward poked his head through the window and looked around for the fry cook.

"SpongeBob, where are you?" Squidward asked in an angry tone. "You're supposed to be frying those krabby patties."

And just like that, SpongeBob zipped back in front of the grill. "I'm right here, Squidward." He said with a smile as he held the golden spatula. "We both are."

"What is that?" Squidward asked.

"This is the new spatula I found." SpongeBob answered, showing him the gold spatula. "I call it Goldie. Wanna see me fry up some patties with it?"

"No thanks. I don't come here every day to watch you stand around, doing your job like an idiot. Just cook the orders already."

"You got it, Squidward." SpongeBob said with a wink, and then turned to the spatula. "Alright, Goldie, this is your big moment."

SpongeBob placed four raw krabby patties on the grill and they began to sizzle. After a while, he began to use his new spatula to flip the krabby patty over. But suddenly, the spatula glowed green when the patty was flipped over. What SpongeBob didn't expect was that the spatula suddenly moved on its own to turn the second patty over.

"Huh?" SpongeBob wondered as his arm was jerked around by the spatula he was holding as it flipped the third patty. "Goldie?"

He let go of the spatula, but instead of falling on the ground, the spatula just hovered there and flipped over the last krabby patty on its own.

SpongeBob looked spooked for a second. However, he soon smiled and looked amazed. "Wow, Goldie." He said to the working spatula as the sponge tossed over another raw krabby patty to it which landed safely on the spatula and it placed it on the grill. "I never would've imagined you could do this."

Once one krabby patty was cooked, SpongeBob held out a bun, and the spatula placed the patty on the bottom.

Then the kitchen door opened, and SpongeBob twirled out of it as Squidward stared. "Where's that krabby patty you were supposed to bring?" he asked the sponge.

"It's coming." SpongeBob singsongs with a smile.

To Squidward's surprise, the golden spatula hovers out of the kitchen, carrying a tray with a krabby patty and drink, and placing it on the customer's table.

"Nice job, Goldie." SpongeBob said as he pat the utensil. "See? Isn't he great, Squidward?"

Then SpongeBob suddenly began to sing a high note again while Squidward kept staring with his mouth agape, "As if this could not get anymore creepy."

SpongeBob: OHHHH! Me and my Goldie

We make a great team

Serving up patties

Just as it seems

The golden spatula flipped more krabby patties off the grill while SpongeBob caught them on plates, having them land perfectly on the buns.

SpongeBob: Me and my Goldie

We're doin' our part

Serving up patties

With all of our heart

SpongeBob and "Goldie" continue to serve all the krabby patties they made to the customers, who accept them happily and probably even enjoying SpongeBob's little show tune, completely ignoring the oddity of an animate spatula cooking and serving their food.

"And it just did." Squidward said with an annoyed look.

SpongeBob: It may seem abnormal

It may seem obscure

But with Goldie at my side and our love of work

We can keep ourselves going

That I am sure

SpongeBob soon began to dance around the restaurant while serving more and more krabby patties to the customers that were now piling in. He couldn't figure out why other than his joyful singing and the deliciousness of a krabby patty he usually made that came along with it.

From all the way at the Chum Bucket, Plankton was spying on the whole thing from a high-powered telescope, wondering the same thing.

…But as the customers chow down, they both soon figured out the reason why.

"These krabby patties are delicious." A female fish said after taking a bite of one.

"They're the best I've ever had." Another male fish added.

"Never have I eaten a krabby patty this delectable." A third male fish said.

After hearing all the compliments, SpongeBob looked at the golden spatula in his hand with a proud smile. "Did you hear that, Goldie? You are the best little fry cook ever! I think we'll celebrate with one more verse!"

SpongeBob: OHHHH! Me and my Goldie

We make a great team

Serving up patties

Just as it seems

From inside his office, Mr. Krabs looked up from his paperwork at his desk after hearing all the commotion from outside.

SpongeBob: Me and my Goldie

We're doin' our part

Serving up patties

With all of our heart

After SpongeBob's spectacular musical number (complete with a blast of confetti in the background for a finale), Mr. Krabs emerged from his office, surprised at the crowds of customers gathered in, eating dozens of krabby patties and paying lots of money.

"Wow, boy-o." Mr. Krabs said as he approached SpongeBob with a smile. "I can't believe you attracted all these payin' customers."

"Don't thank just me, Mr. Krabs." SpongeBob said as he held his new spatula. "Thank me…and Goldie."

"Yeah, Goldie, can't forget-" but at this, Mr. Krabs gasped when he noticed the golden spatula SpongeBob was holding.

Suddenly, a red warning light flashed and a loud siren rang out, startling all the customers. Mr. Krabs yelled at the top of his lungs, "Vacate the premises, everyone! This place is closed until further notice!" as he chased out the customers, he continued yelling, "Ya heard me! Out all of ya!"

Once the restaurant was empty, the Krusty Krab went into lockdown with steel walls covering the windows and doors.

An angry Mr. Krabs then walked over to Squidward and SpongeBob, who both had equally odd looks.

"Hmm…" SpongeBob muttered to the spatula. "Maybe we should've added an extra verse to the song."

Okay, normally I don't put full songs in fics because it's a story. But when I didn't, this chapter just kinda seemed plain and boring. So…I wrote the lyrics myself and I composed the music on my electric keyboard. It's just too bad I can't play it for you, so you're just gonna have to use your imagination and think of music that you think best fits the mood of the song. I'm sure you can do it.

So the story is just starting. I hope you stick around for the next chapter to learn the mystery behind the magic golden spatula. So please review and the next chapter will be up soon.