By Shadowgate

Kenny knocked on Cartman's door and he couldn't help but be a bit nervous. He and Cartman were in for a long night of conversations about the past and present problems.

As Cartman answered the door Kenny observed a small smile upon his face and was soon invited in.

They sat down and began watching Terrance and Phillip.

"Hey Terrance I think there's a 50 cent piece stuck in my ass."

Terrance replies "a 50 cent piece! Oh let me see."

Phillip farts in Terrance's face.

The two boys start laughing and Cartman's mom comes out to inform the boys "oh that position Phillip was in reminds me of the position I was in the other night."

Kenny falls off the couch laughing and Cartman growls with anger and embarrassment.

After Terrance and Phillip Kenny gets to enjoy a hot dinner like Cartman does every night. After dinner they head up to Cartman's room.

Cartman turned and said to Kenny "we definitely have a lot to talk about. We need to talk about why I don't get along with my friends."

Kenny then replied "you don't get along with anybody and Wendy kicked your ass on the playground and as you bled we all condemned you."

Cartman shoots back "well some kids laughed at my breast cancer jokes."

Kenny shouts "REGARDLESS!"

Kenny goes on to say "why don't you recognize that so many don't like your character?"

Cartman steps back to think and Kenny puts his arm around him.

"Think hard Cartman."

Cartman looks down at his feet in shame as it begun to sink in that the entire fourth grade class along with other grade school kids who witnessed the fight felt no sympathy for him whatsoever.

Cartman after two minutes of looking down in silence decides to speak out.

"Well then perhaps I must realize the truth that people view me as one evil son of a bitch."

Kenny replies "very good."

Cartman goes on to say "well I can also recognize you can't die."

The two boys stare into each others eyes.

Kenny takes his hood off and continues starring into Cartman's eyes.

Kenny asks "how is it that you of all people can recognize such a fact? Look at Stan and Kyle. They're much more compassionate and yes they're smarter than you but they forget yelling they're famous lines."

Kenny goes on to mock Stan and Kyle.

"Oh my God they killed Kenny, you bastards!"

Cartman points out that he can recognize the fact and states "well Kenny when I opened my own amusement park but I had to let everybody come in you got killed on a ride and I told some asshole you die all the time."

Kenny replies "right because my parents sent the guy to notify you they were suing you."

Cartman chuckles and says "well it sure was funny when you showed up at the courthouse and their case was thrown out."

Both boys start giggling for a full minute.

Kenny then decides to ask Cartman a tough question.

"Why do you hate Kyle?"

Cartman answers "what kind of stupid question is that? He's a backstabbing Jew!"

Kenny goes on to say "he could go to church with Preacher Maxi like the rest of the town and you'd still fucking hate him. Don't give me this excuse that you're anti-Semitic."

Kenny yells "you're jealous because he has two parents instead of a hermaphrodite."

Kenny adds "furthermore he's saved your life more than once you fat ingrate."

Kenny points at Cartman.

Cartman gets choked up and says "you're right some of us can die and not come back."

Kenny says "like Pip for example."

Both boys go silent and think about Pip's life.

Then Cartman says "remember the time I farted fire and Pip got caught on fire?"

Kenny laughs so hard he falls out off the bed.

Cartman says "when you die you often get funerals. Like the time when you got so horny and hung yourself in a Batman costume. Or like the time when you got sick and died you got a funeral afterwards."

Kenny gets pissed and punches Cartman and yells "ALL YOU FUCKING CARED ABOUT WAS SHAKEY'S PIZZA!"

Kenny stops and says "whoa dude I just gave you a bloody nose."

Cartman says "I'll go clean up in the bathroom. It's not like I didn't have it coming."

After Cartman comes back from the bathroom Kenny puts his arm around him and says "if you can recognize that I can come back from the dead then surely you can recognize that it was disgusting on your part to send us to the shrunken city fallen from the stars."

Cartman asks "why do you think Stan and Kyle can't remember?"

Cartman puts his arm around Kenny and smiles. Kenny answers "it's obviously too traumatic for them. That must be the only explanation."

Cartman replied "I watched you from the Coon holding cell blow your own fucking head off."

Cartman and Kenny stop hugging each other.

Kenny asks "how did it feel being locked in the cell with Professor Chaos? Learn your lesson now Cartman and maybe you won't go to prison later."

Kenny and Cartman hug again.

Cartman answered "it sucked being in there with a bucket of shit that came out of Butter's fucking asshole."

They both giggle over what Cartman just said.

Kenny says "well I am going to call it a night."

Cartman says "if you want I can get you home quick."

Cartman presents a large machete and raises it in the air.

Kenny says "Cartman if you strike me down I'll become more powerful than you can imagine."

Cartman states with conviction "Kenneth James McCormick you are more powerful than I am in your mind, your heart, and your soul."

Kenny replies "oh well yeah that's true."

Cartman swings the machete and cuts through Kenny's head. Kenny's body disappears and his orange parka falls to the ground. He wakes up in his bed and Cartman goes to bed.