As Naruto patrolled the shrines of Fire country, he came upon a drunken woman, a Kinochi by her dress and ability to create craters with her fists, destroying a Sake-bar. The brewers and owners of the bar made frequent offerings to the local temple and so Naruto felt compelled to stop the woman s reckless destruction of property.
A red light flew from one of the white fox's tails to the woman; she immediately fell to the floor with a dull thud.
Shizune huddled in a corner, morbidly embarrassed by her sensei. Tsunade, not only drunk off her ass with four bottles of sake in under an hour, had received some very poor pick up lines from other drunks in the bar. It set her off. Now she was screaming a fit about perverts while breaking things and people.
Then, with a red flash, the boozer princess dropped to the floor. Shizune ceased moping in her corner and ran out to check on Tsunade. The dark haired apprentice found the legendary sucker to only be passed out, to her relief.
From the corner of her eye, she caught movement. She only saw a white, fluffy blur run into the gates of a nearby shrine and disappear.
Naruto appeared at a shrine to find a stream of pee. Indeed, the same blond boozer he stunned a week ago had got drunk enough to piss on a shrine. If the rumors her heard on his last few patrols were accurate she was Tsunade, the "Legendary Sannin". He cut off the golden shower by transfiguring the woman into a walking catfish.
After considering for a moment, he decided that experiencing life as an air breathing fish for a week should be punishment enough. He carefully dropped the fishy boozer in Shizune's lap.
Shizune watched a white Kitsune walk fearlessly up to her and deposited a fish in her lap. She blinked in surprise at the wiggling and unharmed catfish. Then hers sensei's necklace fell onto the table. And with growing horror she watched as the rest of Tsunade's possessions were deposited by the fox. She remembered hearing rumors of an Inari Kitsune coming to live with the Hyuga. Struck mute with dread, she pointed at the Necklace and then to the fish.
The fox nodded and she spoke her first word since seeing it. "Fuck"
The Jousei clan had been brewers for generations, the family annals of their brewery tracked back to before the founding of the fire country. And through their entire recorded history they have always maintained a temple to the rice god, Inari. Even during the Great Ninja Wars they would hire mercenaries to protect the shrine and its priests from attack.
Now, Tsunade had drunk over fifty liters of their finest whine, while patronizing a local gambling den. And then she had run out on her debt.
The head of the Jousei clan waited in the temple. It was the day of week that the Inari kitsune usually visited the temple. He closed his eyes as he placed another origami offering on the altar. When he opened his eyes he saw the kitsune.
"Kitsune-sama. I ask for the blessing of Inari, that divine vengeance comes upon the Kinochi Tsunade, who has reneged her debts to our house, and alludes all debt collectors."
Naruto knew that both this family had the favor of Inari, and Tsunade had his patron god's disfavor already. He was quite willing to take up the task.
A week after the Sake Brewer's curse, Naruto had tracked down and studied Tsunade enough to plan a suitable punishment for her. Even though she appeared young and beautiful, bellow that illusion she was terribly aged. The was obviously vein, and a poor gambler.
He approached his patron god. "Inari-sama, I wish for you to provide me with some cursed rice wine to punish a mortal. She is extremely vain and..."
As Inari listened to Naruto, he remembered why he adopted the Kitsune as his messengers, between bouts of laughter. They were such entertaining tricksters.
A well kept blond man approached Tsunade and Shizune as they are resting in a clearing. He is smiling like the proverbial devil.
"I have heard of you. I have an offer for you, the like of witch few would refuse."
Tsunade looked at him skeptically. Shizune finally responded with the expected sarcasm, "Really?"
He presented a bottle. "I have acquired some cursed sake. Whomever would drink it would be returned to the prime of their youth."
"Do you have some proof with that?" She was choking down laughter.
The man raised his eye brow and turned to walk away slowly. He approached an ancient and gnarled tree. With a flick of his thumb, the bottle opened. He poured a small amount of the wine on the tree's root. The tree brightened, shifted and became a healthy sapling.
"KAI!" Shizune attempted to dispel a genjutsu that did not exist.
Tsunade stood there for a second, her mouth opening and closing silently. "I'll take it!"
Tsunade took the bottle, and drank a sing cup of it near instantly.
"Ah, yes. But I almost forgot to say. The wine also carries a terrible curse. As a punishment for the vanity of any who would attempt to regain their youth, those who drink it will be made to show their body. Indeed, if anyone were to drink the full bottle, cloths would disintegrate at their touch and armor would rust away instantly."
The man walked into the forest, and disappeared from the stunned ninjas' senses completely. Then Tsunade's breast fell out of her shirt.