We just turned fifteen when things started getting weird. Alex started acting all different, stranger than usual. But I stayed beside him like I have ever since the first grade. It was winter when I finally confronted him, finally wanting to get the edge off my back. He was sitting on the floor of my room, leaning against the bed, reading a book I finished the other day. I was lying on my bed, arms folded under my chin and I read over his shoulder. It was then that I noticed he's been on the same page for a long time. I nudge him. "What's wrong, Alex?"
Alex barely had any meat on him. He was a scrawny looking guy, pale and his hair was all over the place. It was his eyes, though, that made me wonder why they always looked so empty. I couldn't think of any reason why Alex always looked so sad and everything. It bothered me so much but I couldn't ask him. If I did, he would just brush it off, like he has things before. I had asked him how he had gotten that nasty black eye just a month before; he didn't say much and said that he walked into a door. I wasn't sure if I could believe him. I convinced but I didn't know how to ask him again.
I bury my head in his hair, down his neck and press a kiss behind his ear. Alex brushes him off, standing up. I sit up and I watch him pace around the room. He stops and turns to face me. There were only a few times that I've ever since Alex cry and every time I found it hard to believe he was able to. He has tears in his eyes and looks me dead in the eye. Just as I was about to stand up, he takes two big steps and pushes me back on the bed. He pins me against it and presses his mouth against mine. His teeth hit mine and a sound comes from one of us, a whimper. He reaches for his shirt and pulls it over his head. Then it's when we stop. His on his knees, his shirt still around his shoulder but he's looking at me. The bruise is big and nasty, a dark blue.
"What is that?" I take a deep breath and let it out, my breath quavering. He leans down and starts kissing me again. I can't stop him and I let him take my shirt and pants off. I'm left in my boxers and he still has his jeans on. It was then where we only kissed, clinging onto each other.
He lets me be on top. I kiss his neck until I leave a mark, sucking on his skin. His eyes are closed when I look at him, mouth slightly open. I kiss the corner of his mouth. "Alex?" I whisper.
He opens his eyes, looking up at me. His eyes will always look empty and that saddens me. "He's hit me before, many times, years even."
I bury my head in the crook of his head. Shaking my head, I didn't want him to say any more. I should've known. He's my best friend and I didn't know about this. I had liked Quint, I found him as an okay guy. He was polite and nice when I came over, but I was too blind to see that it was all an act. I was so stupid and I feel so guilty for not knowing.
He kisses me and reaches for his belt. I help him take his jeans off. I'm a little scared and wanted. I wasn't sure if I was ready or not, but when he touched me, every spark in my body lit up. He was clumsy but it wasn't as if I've done it before. It was the best feeling in the world and I didn't want him to stop. "It's okay," I hear him whisper as I dug my fingers into his shoulders. He doesn't stop until I'm overwhelmed and I can't help but groan. I was glad that nobody but us was in the house. "I'm here."
"Alex," It came out, out of breath. There was something in his eyes, as if he was afraid.
"Don't worry so much about me, Bug," He brushes his fingers through my hair. It's almost like he's searching something when he's looking at me. His hands are holding a tight grip, almost like I was ready to disappear. He smirks, exhaling a laugh. "It's not healthy."
"I feel like I'm always going to worry about you, Alex." I finally caught my breath and we were only looking at each other. "You're the only thing I like to worry about."