A/N: I don't own this, we all know who does. What I do own is a strong sense of patriotism. When I was a little girl, I always wondered why it was that my mom could remember exactly what she was doing when John F. Kennedy was killed. Then when I was in 7th grade, the Space Shuttle Challenger exploded and I kind of got an idea. Then 9/11 happened, and I totally get it now. It's hard to picture, sometimes, just how different the world is today. But it's still good.
Thanks to my superbeta, MaggieMay14. She's a busy little bee, but she always makes time for me. And I know she's anxious for me to get back to the "First's" she bought for my story What I Really Meant to Say. She knows I'm trying... :)
Thanks to my prereaders EdwardsBloodType, Twilight44 and Unchanged Affections. They're all so good... :)
Thanks to ZenOneness for the awesome prompt and for letting me change it up just a bit. She had a birthday a few days ago. I sent this to her. I think she liked it, even if I did make her cry. :D
Thanks to Mrs. Robward, my wifey, for letting me play. :)
This outtake deals with the death of a baby, so if that's something that's tough for you, please be aware of that going in. I think this was a very real fact of life during the time when this story takes place. Many people lost children in child birth, and many mothers lost their lives, too. It was just something that happened and there was really no way to prevent it. With as many children as Edward and Bella have, it was very likely that they would have a stillbirth somewhere along the way. I've tried to keep this as realistic as possible, so I hope you will appreciate that fact. This is the saddest of the outtakes that I have planned, so if it's not something you're comfortable with, wait around for the next one and hopefully it will be a little lighter, and maybe even hot. :D
*** Also, at the end of this is a run down of the children in the Masen family, with descriptions of them and all that good stuff. I had a LOT of you ask about them, so it's there, if you're interested. :) ***
And, one more thing, these outtakes are NOT in order, so don't be confused that in the last one they had 6 children, but in this one there are only 4. :)
-Outtake Four ~ Rocking Chair-
The night was cold and quiet, though a fire burned warm and comforting inside the home. Winter had come early to the Texas range, and though the Masen family was well prepared, many around them had not been so fortunate. Edward had spent several days away from his family, trying to assist the new occupants of a neighboring farm. They'd only been in Texas a few months, and were no where near ready for the harsh winter temperatures that had already hit. With Edward away, the duties on the ranch fell to Bella and the children. Animals needed feeding, the last of the crops needed clearing, and the regular household chores needed tending to. When Edward returned home, he wasn't surprised to find his wife exhausted and fast asleep. However, a few hours later, that changed.
Bella was pregnant with their fifth child. Edward was overjoyed at the thought of another baby in the house, even though Rosalie was barely past her first birthday. From the moment Bella mentioned that she might be expecting, Edward knew in his heart the baby would be a boy. He had three beautiful daughters who gave him more joy than he'd ever thought possible, but the bond he shared with his son, Charlie, was something almost sacred to him. Each night when he and Bella fell asleep in their warm bed, he touched her stomach tenderly, feeling for the movements of their child. Each little kick or nudge made his heart swell with pride, and he anxiously awaited the day he could hold the baby and kiss it's sweet face.
Edward hadn't been asleep for long when Bella woke him, whispering that something was wrong. Her voice was panicked, and he could feel her body shaking.
"What is it, Bells? What do you mean something's wrong?" he asked with a groggy voice, sitting up in bed.
"I don't feel right. I feel like it's time to birth the baby, but Carlisle said it shouldn't be coming for another two months."
Edward placed his hand on Bella's stomach, praying for movement of some kind. There was nothing. With the cold winds blowing outside, Edward didn't want to move Bella to the barn, like they'd done with the births of the other children. Bella hadn't even prepared a spot to give birth in yet, so there would be no point, anyhow.
"Do you want me to ride into town and get Carlisle?" he asked, not wanting to leave Bella alone. He knew that even if he rode as fast as his horse would carry him, it would take him well over an hour to get to town, and by the time he returned with Carlisle, it would be almost sunrise. He didn't feel right about leaving Bella on her own for all that time, but he wasn't sure what else he could do. For a moment he wondered if Alice could stay with her Momma, but she was only seven—what could she do if something happened?
"Maybe I could send Alice into town. As light as she is, Cindy could make it there in no time. They'd be the fastest ride, and she knows the way," Edward said, already cringing at the idea of sending his sweet little girl out into the bitter cold all alone.
"No, she can't go, she's too small, and it's so cold," Bella whispered. "I'll just try and be still, maybe that will help. If things are still bad by morning, we'll get Carlisle."
Bella lay back down, rubbing her hands over her stomach. The muscles tightened every few minutes, and it worried her. It was far too soon for the baby to be born, and she wanted desperately to keep that from happening.
The hours passed by, and Bella tried to sleep. Edward lay down next to her, his hand tenderly rubbing the skin of her stomach, as well as her face. He softly sang songs to her in an effort to calm her, lulling her back to sleep each time she awoke.
By dawn, the pains were getting worse, and Edward prepared to ride into town. As he sat in the kitchen putting his boots on, Alice came into the room.
"Pa, what's wrong? Where's Momma?" Alice asked, clearly startled by the fact that her mother was not up preparing breakfast yet.
"Momma's not feeling well. The baby's giving her pains. I'm gonna ride into town and fetch Carlisle so he can take a look and see what the problem is. I need you to stay here and help your Momma, alright?"
"Is Momma tired from all the work we've been doing, Pa?" she asked. Edward's mind started to spin, realizing how much strain Bella had been under with him away from the ranch for a few days. She was always in such good spirits and so healthy that the idea of her suffering with too many responsibilities had never crossed his mind.
"Maybe, that's what we're gonna have to see. Now, you think you can fix up some breakfast for your brother and sisters today? Make sure you get something easy for Rosalie to eat and help her?" Edward asked, placing his hand on Alice's shoulder and looking straight into her eyes. Alice knew it was important, that her father was counting on her help.
"Yes, Pa. I can do it."
"I love you, Alice. Me and your Momma, we're so lucky to have you here. I'll be back as soon as I can, alright? You make sure and keep your Momma in that bed if she tries to get out. The chamber pot's under the bed if she needs to use it. You help her, alright?"
Edward took a deep breath, needing to make sure his daughter was ready for anything that she may see while he was away. "If you see any blood, or if the baby should come out before I get back, you listen to your Momma and do exactly as she says, you hear?"
Alice nodded. "Yes, Pa. I will."
"Alice," he said, letting out a sigh. "Momma thinks the baby is coming today, and it's too early. That means the baby probably won't live too long. If the baby comes and Momma's asleep or she can't tell you what to do, I want you to get the little blanket that's in the cradle by the rocking chair, and I want you to wrap up the baby. Make sure it's nice and warm, okay? There's a pair of clippers on the night stand. You'll have to cut the cord connecting the baby to your Momma. Cut it careful, now. You won't hurt either of them."
Alice's eyes grew wider as her father spoke. "Yes, Pa," she said, her voice shaking.
Edward wondered if it might be easier to just send Alice into town to get Carlisle, but he hoped that as long as Bella stayed in bed, he would make it back in time.
"Allie, if you're Momma can't do it, you rock that baby until I get back, okay? You sing songs for the baby and you hold it close. Tell Charlie and the girls to sit on the floor and be quiet. They can sing with you, alright?"
"Yes, Pa," Alice whispered, her bottom lip quivering a bit.
"I'll be back as fast as I can. I love you, Alice. Take care of your Momma." With that, Edward stood and checked on Bella once more, glad to see her sound asleep. He then hurried outside and saddled Daybreak, galloping away from the small house and into the darkness.
Three hours later, with the sun steadily rising higher into the sky, Daybreak came running back toward the ranch. Edward jumped down from his back once they reached the barn, and he quickly got the horse into the arena where he could get the water he most likely needed after their long ride back from town. Hurrying into the house, Edward was relieved to see his three younger children all sitting at the table. Charlie was attempting to teach Katie how to play checkers, while Rosalie sat in her high chair and played with her doll. Charlie's eyes met Edward's as he walked through the door.
"Pa, are you okay?" he asked. Edward could hear the fear in his voice.
"Yes, I'm back, everything is fine. Where's Alice?" Edward asked, hanging his hat and coat on the rack by the back door.
"In the bedroom," Charlie said.
"Momma's sleepy. You gots to shoosh," Katie said, placing her pointer finger over her pursed lips. Edward stopped and gave each of them a kiss on the head, then kissed Rose on the cheek before entering the bedroom.
"Momma's sleepin' still," Alice said. "Her's pains are real bad, Pa. Is Carlisle comin' soon?"
"Yes, he's right behind me. Has your Momma gotten up at all?"
"No, Pa. She was cryin' a bit a little while ago, but I told her you'd be back soon and I sang to her. She fell back to sleep."
Edward pulled his daughter to him, lifting her up from the floor and hugging her tightly. "Thank you, sweet girl. I don't know what I'd have done without your help today. I was so worried to leave your Momma alone, but I'm thankful she had you." He pulled back and looked at his daughter, wondering when she'd managed to grow up so much, and how he hadn't ever noticed.
The sound of horse hooves grew louder from outside the house, and Edward set Alice back down on the floor. "Can you go let Carlisle into the house? Tell Charlie to take his horse to the arena so it can rest and get a drink."
"Yes, Pa," Alice replied before turning and running out of the bedroom.
Carlisle greeted the children who, for all intents and purposes, were more like his surrogate grandchildren. He didn't waste any time, getting in to examine Bella as quickly as he could. It was with a heavy heart that he broke the news to his good friend, Edward.
"I'm afraid I don't hear any heartbeat from the baby. Bella's contracting so often, I don't think it will be long now until the baby's born. You'd best be prepared for a still birth. Esme will be here soon, she's bringing the wagon and the children. I figured Jasper could help Alice care for the younger ones while you and I tend to what needs to be done here. Esme can stay with Bella while we ready the things we'll most likely be needing later today."
Edward's heart broke a little more. He knew what Carlisle meant...they'd be needing a casket.
A few short hours later, things were once again quiet in the home. Anthony Swan Masen was born into the world, silent and still as could be. He took a few short, quick breaths, and opened his eyes once, just long enough to see his mother and father, and then he was gone. Bella's sobs wore on Edward, causing him to set aside his own pain until a later time. All of the children were somber, realizing the loss that has occurred that day, and each took their turn holding the tiny boy—spending just a few precious moments with the brother they would never get to grow up with. Once the baby was safely back in his mother's arms, Edward quickly excused himself to the barn. He needed to find wood suitable for the casket his little boy would need, and set his mind on performing one of the few tasks he would ever get to do for his son. Witnessing the pain on Bella's face, he knew it was only a matter of minutes until he would no longer be able to control his own emotions. Once he reached the shelter of the barn, he finally broke down.
Knowing Edward needed time alone, Carlisle stayed inside, tending to Bella and the baby. Esme had prepared lunch for all of them and she was busy feeding the children. Carlisle watched Bella as has she gently swayed back and forth with her son, touching each inch of his perfect little face. His body was exactly as it should have been, not an imperfection to be found. Upon delivery, Carlisle noticed one likely cause of death, and that was the umbilical cord that had knotted and wrapped around the infants neck. Aside from that, the baby was just too small, born too early. Carlisle wished there was a way he could have helped him, given him the things he needed so that he could continue to grow, but that just wasn't possible. Maybe in a larger city where there were hospitals and specially trained doctors, Anthony would have survived, but out on the Texas range, life was cruel. Armed with only his wits, his medical school training, and the few needed medications he could have shipped to him, Carlisle was on his own. It was times like these, when families were grieving a loss, that he wondered how long he could continue as a physician.
The evening came too soon, with all the children camping out on the floor in the main living room, and Carlisle and Esme boarding in the girls' bedroom, Bella lay in her bed, tossing and turning. Dreams had assaulted her for the past two days, some being happy while others scared her almost beyond what she could endure. She and Edward had been so excited about the addition to their family. Even though this baby would be so close in age to Rosalie, and her work load would increase, Bella couldn't help but feel overjoyed at having another child to care for. The thought of the baby being a son, like Edward wanted, made her heart race, and she was excited to finally welcome the little one into the world.
After spending several days on her hands and knees in the fields, and hauling hay for the horses each morning and night, Bella was worn past her limit. She knew something was wrong that evening before Edward returned home. She'd fed the children early and sent them to bed, hoping that maybe with a little rest, things would fix themselves. Unfortunately for her, that didn't happen.
After Anthony was born, Bella held him as long and as much as she could. She made sure that each of the children got to spend a little time with him, and usually had them sit next to her so that she could help them. They each asked questions about the baby and commented on how small he was. Carlisle had brought his scale with him and had recorded the official birth weight at three pounds, one ounce. He was not much longer in length than Rosalie's baby doll. Rose had squeezed his little body and kissed his cheeks, just as she did with her dolly. Alice cried a little bit and asked questions about when her mother had died, and how this was different. Charlie was sad, Bella could tell, and after holding his brother twice, he hurried outside to help his father. Katie was quiet, as usual, and seemed to just stare at the baby. Bella wondered what thoughts were floating through her mind, but Katie remained silent, until whispering "I love you" to her brother, and then scurrying off to find Nessie.
Bella was most surprised at the reactions of Carlisle and Esme's boys. Jasper seemed rather afraid of the baby. Being the oldest child, he likely understood what death meant, but Bella knew that he would need to get over his fears. Death was just a part of life, and something that everyone would experience, in different ways. The open Texas range was not an easy life, and many people met unfortunate ends due to accidents. Bella appreciated him taking a few moments with the little one before he went outside to check on their horses.
Little Emmett, who was nearly two years old, held the baby over and over again. He was so sweet, his large, pudgy fingers looking huge next to the tiny, thin ones that Anthony had. Esme helped him with the baby, but there was no need. He was as gentle as could be, and so tender with the infant, simply resting his cheek on the baby's head as he swayed back and forth. Bella actually smiled for the first time that day as she watched him, marveling at the gentle soul that dwelt in the overgrown boy's body.
There was no sweeter sight to Bella than watching Edward hold their son. He tried to hide his tears from her, but she saw them. She knew that he didn't want to burden her, but she didn't mind. This was just as much his son as it was hers. He needed to grieve the same way she did, and Bella wanted that for him. After he'd finished the casket, he had returned to their bedroom, snuggling up next to Bella as they lay in bed with Anthony between them. They talked about him, and all the dreams they'd had for him. He was such a pretty baby, with dark hair covering his head and peach colored skin. As the day passed by, his skin began to grow paler, more shallow and gray looking, which was normal.
Sometime that night, as Bella lay sleeping, another dream began. This one was far more vivid and real than her other dreams, and she soon found herself standing in a place she'd never seen before. It was very bright and hard to see, but as her eyes adjusted, she saw two people standing near her. She tried to focus on them, but they were blurry. There were no sounds coming from around her, and Bella struggled to figure out where she was. Looking all around, and noticing nothing familiar, she looked back toward the couple and was startled to see that it was Kate and a man, whom she assumed was Garrett. Kate had described him to Bella many times, and this man fit her description perfectly. Aside from that, the way he was looking at Kate left no doubt in Bella's mind.
Bella drew in a quick breath when she noticed Kate's arms wrapped around something small. It was a baby, and Kate was completely caught up in the little one she held so close. Bella could hear gurgles from the infant, and see a fist boldly waving in the air. Bella felt overwhelmingly that it was her Anthony. Where Bella once held Kate's baby when she couldn't any longer, now Kate held Bella's in return. Seeing the smile on Kate's face calmed Bella and she knew there was nothing to fear—her son would be safe. Kate smiled brightly at the baby, Garrett standing over her shoulder with a look of wonder on his face as he stared at the little boy.
When Kate's eyes lifted, meeting Bella's, her smile faltered. "Thank you," she whispered, a tear rolling down her cheek. "Thank you for everything." Bella smiled, watching the little makeshift family until the air around her began to blur again. She blinked several times, and when she finally opened her eyes, the bedroom was dark. Turning her head a little, she looked across the room at her husband, who sat in the rocking chair, lovingly cuddling their son. The sight nearly took her breath away, so much love was burning in her chest for the man who had been her greatest source of strength. Seeing him cry earlier in the day had shown her how much his family meant to him, and Bella had done her best to support him the way he always did for her.
Alice quietly entered the room, sitting on the bed next to her Mama. "Anthony is with my Ma now, isn't he?" she asked. Edward looked up, his eyes bright with tears.
"Yeah, he is," Bella whispered, watching Edward as he smiled at her in return.
Alice laid down, snuggling against Bella. "I had a dream about them. I saw my Ma and Anthony with a man. They were happy. She won't miss me so much anymore, will she?" Alice asked softly.
"Oh sweetheart, she'll always miss you, just like we'll always miss her, and we'll always miss Anthony. But maybe now that Anthony is with her, she'll be a little happier, until we are all together again someday," Bella said.
She looked back at Edward, noticing him wipe fresh tears from his eyes as he hummed softly to his son. Tomorrow would be filled with goodbye's for them all, as they laid their little Anthony to rest on the hill, next to his grandparents and Kate. For now, Bella took comfort in the fact that her family was together at that moment. She knew she would cry the following day, and most likely many more days in the future, but for this moment, she was calm...peaceful. Bella hugged Alice just as she was sure Kate was hugging Anthony.
A few days later, as life was beginning to return to normal, Bella and Alice smiled knowingly to each other, as Edward relayed the strangest dream he'd had the night Anthony was born. It was a dream of Kate and Garrett...with an infant in their arms.
A/N: Hope you enjoyed it and didn't cry too much. I sobbed writing it, but I always do. I can't help it. :)
And now the Masen Children -
Since it's been asked by a few of you, I thought I'd throw in a little run down of the kids, just so you know a little more about them. More than likely these outtakes won't really get into a lot of detail on them, so this will be good info for you to have. :) It might help you visualize them a little better. :)
Alice – Edward and Kate's daughter. Born in May 1874. She has blonde hair and blue eyes like Kate. She looks very similar to Kate, but has Edward's nose and reminds Bella a lot of Edward both through her personality and her looks. I would imagine as she gets older, her hair will be a little more strawberry blonde, with the red from Edward's hair coming through a bit more. As an adult, she'll be a little taller than Bella (who I see as about 5'5") probably standing about 5'7" or 5'8". (Kate was about 5'6" and both she and Edward's fathers were just over 6' tall.)
Charlie – Edward and Bella's 1st son. Born in April 1876. He looks very much like Edward, with the same hair color and facial features. His eyes are green, but a little lighter. In the epi, Bella describes them as a mossy green color. He has inherited Bella's blush, though, and he turns pink quite easily. As a little boy, he has lots of freckles on his face, but they will fade as he gets older. I see him as having the same build that Edward has and he'll end up about the same height as Edward (6'1").
Katie – Edward and Bella's 1st daughter. Born in September 1877. She looks a lot like Bella, as far as facial features go. Her hair is more Edward's bronze color and her eyes are hazel, with a good mix of brown and green in them. She is very quiet and helpful to Bella, and is a thinker. She's very sweet, loving, and easy going. I see her as being about Alice's height when she's an adult.
Rosalie – Edward and Bella's 2nd daughter. Born in October 1879. She looks like both Edward and Bella, her facial features being a good mixture of the two parents. She has green eyes and light brown hair, with some blonde and red streaks in it. Her skin is a fair, peachy color, and her complexion is flawless. She is feisty and much louder than Katie. She has a bit of a temper, which will pair well someday with the very easy going Emmett, who is Carlisle and Esme's son. He's a year older than Rose. I see her as being the tallest of the girls once she reaches adulthood, standing 5'9" or 5'10".
Anthony – Edward and Bella's 2nd son. Born in November 1880. He is born 2 months early and dies moments after birth. He has black hair and the normal blue colored eyes that baby's have when they're born. His skin is a peachy color. His features aren't really distinguishable, as his face is a little puffy after the birth. He looks similar to how all the other children looked at birth.
Tyler – Edward and Bella's 3rd son. Born in February 1883. He looks a lot like Bella, though I see him with Edward's eyes and jaw, and with dark brown eyes and dark brown hair. He has a red tint to it in the sun, like Bella does. His skin is rather pale, though he's always outside with his dad and brother, so he's usually a bit tan. He is a very sweet boy and loves the horses on the ranch. As an adult, I think he would be an inch or two shorter than Edward, more like Bella's father Charles would have been. His hair also has a bit of a curl/wave to it, like Bella's mother Renee would have had.
Lucy – Edward and Bella's 3rd daughter. Born in June 1885. Of all the children, Lucy looks most like Bella. Her features are almost a carbon copy of Bella's. Her eyes are also the same brown color as Bella's, though her hair is almost black in color. Edward's younger sister Alice had the same color of hair. Lucy and her older sister Alice are like polar opposites in coloring. Lucy has very light skin and is the smallest of the girls. As an adult, I think she would be an inch or two shorter than Bella, probably around 5'3" or so. Though Edward tries to hide it, Lucy is his favorite daughter because she reminds him so much of Bella. :)
Bella was born in September of 1855, so she was 18 when Alice was born, 19 when she married Edward, and 20 when Charlie was born. Edward was born in June of 1847, so he was 26 when Alice was born, 27 when he married Bella, and 28 when Charlie was born. They are 8 years apart in age.
Thanks for reading this. I hope you liked it. :)