Title: White Lingerie and Marshmallows
Characters/Pairings: Uchiha Sasuke/Haruno Sakura (mentions of NaruHina and possibly others)
Rating: PG-13 (for language)
Warnings: Possible spoilers for the manga, nothing specific
Word Count: Currently 5,024 (will update when complete)
Summary/Description: White Day is not a fun day for Sasuke when he has to fend off not only his but Sakura's fan club, too. It's also no fun for Naruto, who wonders when he'll get a fan club of his own. And Sakura—alright, yeah, it's a little fun for her. Boys fighting over you, presents, and a free lunch at Ichiraku's, what's not to love? Now if only Sasuke wasn't using her to ward off the wrath of the scorned women of Konoha.
Author's Notes: It was supposed to be a little one-shot, but it's now going to be split up into…let's say three or four parts? I don't know yet, it probably won't be very long.

Disclaimer: I don't claim any rights to Naruto or its Characters.

"In Japan, Valentine's Day is observed by females who present chocolate gifts (either store-bought or handmade), usually to a male, as an expression of love, courtesy or social obligation. A handmade chocolate is usually preferred by the receiver, because it is a sign that the receiving male is the girl's "only one". On White Day, the converse happens: males who received a honmei-choco (本命チョコ?, "chocolate of love") or giri-choco (義理チョコ?, "courtesy chocolate") on Valentine's Day are expected to return the favor by giving gifts, usually more expensive. Traditionally, popular White Day gifts are cookies, jewelry, white chocolate, white lingerie and marshmallows." –Wikipedia

White Lingerie and Marshmallows

Huh. Well I'll be damned.

Sakura surveyed the spectacle before her. The door to her office was obstructed by a rather impressive pile of gaily wrapped presents, stuffed animals, boxes of chocolate and flowers. Giggling nurses were gathering in the hallway behind her.

Finally! It seemed that Sakura had at last garnered the attention of the opposite sex. All because of some silly hospital swimsuit contest. Sakura could only assume that this was the work of the recently organized Miss Konoha General Hospital Fanclub. Who knew she would make such an impression in a red string bikini? It isn't how I would've pictured it happening, she thought, but I'll take it. Sakura laughed quietly, not quite believing the turn her life had taken, and stooped down to slide the pile away enough to at least budge open her door.

Are those tickets to the Fire Country Theater Troupe's production of "Taming of the Ninja Shrew Summons?" Ha, my fan club obviously has good taste. Eat your heart out, Uchiha Sasuke.

"Hey, Sakura-chan! We got—oh."

Sakura looked over her shoulder to see Naruto bounding through the gaggle of nurses. He clumsily stopped before her mound of presents, Sasuke behind him. She smiled in greeting. Speak of the devil.

"Morning, you guys. What brings you here?" she greeted cheerfully.

Naruto blinked. "Uh, well Sasuke has a problem," he pointed at the offerings. "More importantly, what are those for?"

Sakura was opening her mouth to explain when Sasuke drawled, "Dobe. You probably forgot her birthday or something."

As Naruto's face drained color in record time, Sakura was torn between laughing and pounding both of their faces in. "No. It's not my birthday."

Naruto sighed in relief.

"But the fact that neither of you knew that means you'll be coughing up something better than two coupons for a free lunch at Ichiraku this year if you know what's good for you."

Naruto's eyes widened. Sasuke shrugged and looked away.

Sakura glared, remembering the last time her precious teammates had shown their "appreciation" for her. Naruto meant well in his own way, but Sasuke had the nerve to re-gift, of all things (Naruto had presented the coupon to him at Christmas and it had expired a month before her actual birthday).

Rolling her eyes, she resumed moving the precariously stacked presents. "So what are you guys doing here? Naruto, you said Sasuke has a problem?"

Naruto jumped slightly, as if he had forgotten, and spoke with great urgency, "Sakura-chan, we need you! You have to help teme deal with his women!"

Sakura spluttered, reflexively squeezing a plush panda bear ("I wuv you diiiiis much!" it proclaimed), and shot Sasuke a look. He seemed determined to pretend he was not part of the conversation. "What do you mean his women?"

"His—you know! They follow him around all the time and-"

"Oh, you mean his fangirls," Sakura giggled, eyes trained on Sasuke's carefully blank features. "I remember them, alright. What's wrong, are they getting too aggressive?"

"It's much worse than that! Me and teme were in the middle of training, when they ambushed us. You should've been there, it was crazy! There must have been at least thirty of them—probably half the village!"

Sakura refrained from commenting on her friend's math. "What did they want?"

"I don't know! They just all kept saying that they've had enough of being ignored and that it was time for teme to choose, or something. If he doesn't, they'll keep attacking us—and I'm super strong, for sure, Sakura-chan, but I don't know if I can fight thirty angry kunoichi every day for the rest of my life. And, and they said they want his response by the end of the day. Got any idea what that means?"

"Hm, maybe." Sakura was beginning to see what was going on and she could already tell it was not going to be pretty. "Let's talk about this in my office." Arms full with a several bouquets of roses and a panda ("You are a dweam come twoo!"), she awkwardly opened her door, thanking Naruto, who turned on the lights. She was not altogether surprised to be greeted with even more presents inside. Damn ninja admirers. A little respect for boundaries would be nice.

"Whoah. Seriously, what's the occasion?"

"It's White Day. I'm guessing it also has something to do with Sasuke's…girl trouble," she snickered. Throwing neatness to the wind, she tossed her armful onto her desk and began sweeping various items to the floor to clear the couch. "Sit. I'm assuming that you two know basically what White Day's all about."

They sat and nodded. Sakura raised at brow at Sasuke's easy obedience. Wow, situation must be desperate, she thought.

"And am I also right to assume that you, Sasuke, received boatloads of chocolate on Valentine's Day, as you have for years?" she asked, casually resting a hip against the edge of her desk.

Sasuke nodded.

"Well there's your problem," Sakura rolled her eyes. "What'd you expect? Dozens of these girls have been throwing themselves at your feet year after year. And what do you do? You pretend they're not even there."

"Tch. I don't want to encourage their behavior," scoffed Sasuke. "It's not my fault if their...feelings get hurt. They're ninja, they should be able to handle at least that much."

Unreasonably annoyed, Sakura could not keep the edge out of her voice. "Wrong, Sasuke. In so many ways, but let's focus on your policy of ignoring the feelings of a bunch of hormonal ninja. A league of scorned women with easy access to poisons and explosives." Naruto paled. Sakura thought she saw Sasuke's eye twitch. "My point is that the pot was bound to boil over at some point, and it's no one's fault but yours for refusing to even acknowledge what's been going on all these years!"

The jerk had the gall to look affronted.

"What do you want me to do? I'm not," Sasuke grit his teeth, "choosing one of them."

"No? Oh, I don't know, I kind of liked that girl from the Aburame clan. Remember her? She had all those butterflies follow you around last summer, making little hearts and Uchiha fans in the air around your head. It was so sweet."


"Alright, fine. Of course you don't have to reciprocate. Just find a way to let them all down gently."

"Actually they said he had to pick one," interjected Naruto.


"The crazy fangirls said, 'Sasuke-kun is ours and if one of us can't have him, no one will!' And they said they'd make me suffer for the rest of my life if he didn't respond before tomorrow!"

Sakura was confused. "Wait, hold on, what's their problem with you?" She was startled when Naruto suddenly leapt from the couch and jammed his finger accusingly in Sasuke's glaring face.

"They think that the reason he won't go out with them is because- because- THEY THINK THE TEME AND I ARE BOY—LOV—SPECIAL FRIENDS!" Naruto wailed, eyes wide and frantic. Whatever Sakura had been about to say was quickly forgotten and she let out an unladylike guffaw. The visible tightening of Sasuke's jaw only made her laugh harder.

"Sakura-chaaan," whined Naruto. "This is serious! I can't let all those crazy girls tell the whole village lies about me and Sasuke! I mean, they're half right about Sasuke-" -he dodged a swinging fist- "-but I'm still trying to figure out how to woo Hinata-chan. You have to help us, Sakura-chan! Do it to save my future Uzumaki-Hyuuga babies!"

"Alright, alright," wheezed Sakura. Oh god, it's funny because it's true!

Well, not about their gay romance, she thought. Probably. But the only one that Uchiha is growing old with is Naruto. Poor Hinata. She doesn't know that she's signing up for a package deal. If they do get married, Sasuke'll probably just end up moving in with them.

Sakura studied Sasuke, who was calmly lounging on her squashy couch, the stiff set of his jaw the only outward sign of irritation. She simply could not imagine him settling down with anyone. It was not his fault, she thought, but he just was not capable of giving himself over to another person in that way. Sakura felt her throat tighten at the realization and tried to distract herself with the problem at hand.

"Have you tried reasoning with them? They're your fan club, Sasuke, you should be able to charm your way out of the hole you've dug yourself into."

Sasuke growled. "They're beyond reason now. Do you think I would have come here if we hadn't tried everything else?"

Ouch. Sakura felt the hurt of rejection swell in her, before it was crushed by greater irritation. She lobbed the nearest thing in her reach at Sasuke's stupid, sneering face. Naturally, being a ninja, he ducked and it bounced harmlessly off of the wall ("I can't BEAR to leave you!").

"You asshole! What kind of way is that to ask for a favor, huh?"

Sasuke barely batted an eye. "Tch. That Godaime woman has made you as violent as she is."

"Don't you insult Tsunade-sama to my face! Let's step outside so I can show you exactly what she taught me!"

"Enough," Sasuke snapped. The arrogant bastard stood and made for the door. "I can't expect one crazy woman to help get rid of the rest. You're just like one of them-" He froze. His eyes snapped up and locked on Sakura's, something like realization dawning on his face.

Sakura fidgeted, her rage dimming somewhat in her confusion. "What?" she demanded haltingly.

"Teme?" Naruto glanced between the two of them nervously.

"Sakura," said Sasuke evenly.

"Wh-what?" repeated Sakura, unused to keeping eye contact with her stoic teammate for so long.

Sasuke turned to face her, eyes intent, and said seriously, "I need you."