A/N: This is just a one shot idea that popped into my head after re-watching every episode of Torchwood. Just drabble, bordering on crack.



Several people show up to an immortals convention most are in costumes of vampires, ghosts, some kind of space aliens, etcetera. But a couple of these people are real immortals and have shown up because they were curious. Two were arguing.

"What are you doing here, Owen, I told you to stay at the hub," scolded a striking young man in a long military coat from the forties. He was holding a device in his hand, as if scanning for something.

"I was curious. 'Sides, I'm sort of immortal aren't I?" said Owen. He looked a bit like a rodent and his left hand was all bandaged up.

"You're not immortal, you're dead, there's a difference," said the other man.

"Brilliant, rub it in my face why don't you. Real mature, Jack."

"It's not like you didn't know," Jack said. Suddenly the device in his hand lit up and started going mad with beeping.

"What's that mean?" Owen asked, looking over his shoulder. "Why are we here, Jack?"

"It means, this thing has picked up on the signal of another immortal other than myself. We're here because I thought I might find The Doctor hanging around, though in hindsight, he's not exactly immortal is he?"

"What?" Owen was confused.

"Come on. You said you were curious. Want to meet some immortals?"

Owen sighed, Jack's adventures are what got him killed and got Jack killed repeatedly.


"I'm Claire, nice to meet you," said a beautiful, blond teen-age girl to an equally handsome boy who looked about the same age as her.

"Likewise, my name is Jessie," he held out his hand for her to shake and she shook it. "So what brings you here, Claire?"

"Nothing, really. Just sounded interesting, I guess."

Just then, they were interrupted by Jack and Owen.

"Well, hello," said Jack in his usual flirty way, as both teens were very attractive.

Owen just shook his head. As Toshiko once said, 'Jack will shag anything if it's gorgeous.'

"Hi, there," said Claire a little apprehensively.

"Can we help you?" Jessie asked politely.

Jack snapped out of it in an instant, remembering why he was here. "Yes actually, I wanted to ask you two a couple of questions."

Alarm bells went off in Claire's head. She really didn't want to run any more, but this sounded suspicious.

Jessie was also immediately worried. What if someone found out about the Well?

Jack recognized the signs of distress in the teens and continued before they could make a scene. "We're not here to harm you, we're just curious as to how you are both immortal."

Both teens' eyes widened in shock. They looked at each other, surprised, then back at Jack.

Claire started to bolt but was caught by Owen, who anticipated the move.

"Let me go!" she cried.

"It's alright," said Jack. "I just want to ask a couple of questions, then you can be on your way. I promise."

Something in his voice calmed the girl. The normally wary teen, suddenly felt like she trusted this man, and stopped struggling in Owen's grasp.

"Right, then," said Jack, clapping his hands together. "Let's go somewhere to chat."


Out on an empty pier, sat three people; two girls who looked so alike, they must be related, and a tall young man with dark skin.

"That was probably the stupidest convention I have ever seen," one of the girls was saying. "I thought it would be at least a little bit interesting."

"Well, Nes, what else can you expect from forty-year-old geeks who thrive on comic books and video games?" asked the young man.

"Jacob," the other girl said in a half scolding, half amused way, "not all geeks are like that. I know many people who would be proud to call themselves geeks."

"Sure sure, Bella," said Jacob. "But those people in there really have no life. Remind me why we came again."

"Because Renesmee was curious," said Bella.

"What a waste of curiosity," said Renesmee.

Just then, they heard the approach of four people. What was curious, though, was that Bella could only hear three heartbeats.

The three companions looked up to see said people.

"Hello there," said Jack in an overly friendly way.

"Really?" said Owen in distaste.

All three of the people sitting on the pier noticed that it was this one without a pulse, and not only that, but he reeked of death. Renesmee shrank into Jacob's arms, staring at Owen with a bit of fear.

Owen didn't notice as he was too busy rolling his eye's at his overly-promiscuous boss.

"I'm just saying hello," said Jack.

"Um, excuse me," said Jacob. "But did you want something."

"Yes, actually," said Jack. "You see, I know that you three are immortal."

The companions exchanged looks.

"That's retarded," said Renesmee.

"Renesmee!" Bella scolded. "Who taught you such bad language?"

Renesmee looked at her lap, chastened.

"She's right, though," said Jacob, looking at Jack. "There's no such thing. You must be one of those nuts from the convention."

"True, he is a bit mad," said Owen. "And we did just come from the convention, but we know you three as well as these two are immortal."

Bella, Jacob, and Renesmee looked between Claire and Jessie. There wasn't anything very remarkable about them, just regular human teenagers.

"I know you're immortal," said Jack. "Because so am I."

At this, everyone except Owen looked at Jack in surprise.

Five minutes later...

Everyone was seated in the conference room of the Torchwood hub. They were all quite silent waiting for Jack to begin.

"Let's start with introductions then, shall we," he finally spoke up. "I'm Captain Jack Harkness, leader of Torchwood 4. Owen?"

Owen sat up in his seat. "I'm Dr. Owen Harper, Torchwood's medical professional."

He looked at Claire who was seated next to him.

"Claire Bennett," she said, not elaborating.

"Jessie Tuck," said Jessie, following Claire's lead.

"Jacob Black."

"Bella Cullen."

"Nessie Cullen."

"You girls sisters, then," asked Jack, a twinkle in he eye.

The girls just stared him down, not answering.

"Um, Captain, was it?" Jessie asked, raising his hand slightly.

"Yes, you can call me Jack."

"Right, well, why is it that you've gathered us here?"

"Right, of course. As I said before, I'm also immortal. Something happened to me a long time ago and I thought I was the only one. Until today. I was just messing around at that convention and my scanner picked up five other immortal life forms other than myself, naturally I was curious, so here you all are."

"You said you had questions," Claire prompted.

"I promise, whatever you decide to share with me will not leave my knowledge," Jack vowed. "I won't tell anyone."

"So what are your questions?" Jacob asked.

"I'd like to know what happened to you five to make you immortal."

"Why don't you tell us what happened to you first?" Claire bargained.

"You may not believe me," Jack warned.

"You'll find there are a lot of things I'll believe," said Claire. Everyone else nodded in agreement.

"Alright then," said Jack. "It all started in the future."

"You wanna run that by me again," said Jacob.

"The future," Jack repeated. "I knew someone who could travel through time."

Claire was nodding as if this made sense while the others just stared at him in confusion.

"Anyway, in the future, there was this race of very powerful beings that liked to destroy human life. I was part of a small group trying to save the planet from them. I died."

"So how are you alive now?" Jessie asked.

"A very good friend of mine filled herself with the most powerful energy in the universe. She did it to save the Earth from the Daleks—those are the beings I mentioned—anyway, she did it at a huge risk to herself. With a wave of her hand, the entire invasion force was turned to dust. And with one word, she brought me to life again. But she wanted to save me so much that she went too far. Now I'm stuck. I used my own time-traveling device to go back home but I landed in the late 1800s and it broke. I've died many times, shot, stabbed, World War I, World War II, starvation, I got run through with a javelin once..."

"Don't forget, Suzie, Lisa, John, explosions, Weavles..." Owen listed. Jack glared.

"So what's your story?" Jacob asked looking at Owen.

"I'm not technically immortal," said Owen. "I'd have to be alive for that wouldn't I?"

The others stared in disbelief.

"You don't have a heartbeat," said Nessie. "And you smell like death."

"You've got to be joking," said Owen, a look of horror on his face sniffing his armpit. "Do I really smell like death?"

"It's nothing normal people would be able to smell," Nessie reassured him.

Owen relaxed. "I suppose that's why Weavles shy away from me..."

"What are Weavles?" Bella asked.

"That's another story," said Jack. "Go on, Owen. Tell them what happened."

"I died," said Owen simply. "Nothing quite as spectacular as Jack's death. Just a bullet through the heart."

"You were very brave," Jack said consolingly. He turned to the others. "He took a bullet for a friend of ours. This very evil man was going to kill her."

"How did you come back?" Bella asked Owen.

"A weird bit of technology that shouldn't have been used," Owen responded. "I maintain that the device was evil, but Jack didn't want to give up on me so he used it. It was only supposed to work for two minutes but then I was supposed to die again. And I sort of did, didn't I? No vitals, I'm a walking corpse. I stayed 'alive' because this creature from beyond took possession of me. When we destroyed it, I still had residual energy left over. One day, it'll run out. I don't know when, but it will and until then I have to avoid getting hurt."

He held up his bandaged left hand. "Because I can't heal. I can't eat either because my digestive track doesn't work. My heart doesn't beat and my veins are dry."

"What keeps you going, then?" asked Claire.

"That energy left over. Like I said, it'll run out one day and I'll die properly. But I'm trying not to fall apart until then. I don't fancy walking around like Frankenstein's monster for the next God knows how long."

"So who wants to tell us their story?" Jack asked.

"I will," said Claire. "I probably shouldn't, but I feel like I can trust you for some reason."

"Great," said Jack. "So what happened to you?"

"I honestly don't know how it happened, but one day, I got a huge shard of glass shoved into my hand. It healed before the next day, no scar or anything."

"So you're a healer?" asked Jack.

Claire nodded. "The healing got faster as time went on, and now I've stopped aging. I've done things that should have killed me a hundred times over. Most of it on purpose."

"Why?" asked Bella. "Why would you do that to yourself?"

"The first time was an accident, but then I started experimenting, testing how far the healing went. I just kept getting more and more adventurous. I started tossing myself off of high places, standing in front of an oncoming train, running into burning buildings. I've been shot, many times. Alcohol doesn't have any effect on my faculties..." she trailed off, debating. "I died once. For real. I shouldn't tell you...it's my only weakness..."

"You don't have to tell us," said Jack.

"But if you ever meet Sylar, it would help you... He's like me in one way; he can't be killed. But he's a psychopath, killing people with abilities, but he couldn't kill me, he just took my ability. When he did, he messed me up even more."

"How so?" asked Owen.

"Now I can't feel pain." To prove it, she took out a pocket knife and sliced it across her hand before anyone could stop her. They watched as the wound sealed up in seconds. No one noticed, Jacob wince in pain as both Bella and Nessie gripped his arms.

"The only thing that can stop Sylar, or me for that matter, is for something to get lodged at the back of my head, where my spine connects to my scull."

"The cerebral cortex," said Owen.

"Right. But if it gets removed, I wake up again and the healing kicks in."

There was silence for a moment in which everyone but Bella and Owen took a sip of water from cups in front of them.

"So, Jessie," Jack continued. "What made you immortal."

Jessie stared at him for a moment, deciding what to tell him. Finally, "The Fountain of Youth."

Everyone stared.

"Bullocks," said Owen.

"Is not," said Jessie, offended. "Me and my family found it by accident about two hundred years ago. I fell out of a tree, I should have died, but I wasn't even hurt. Our horse was mistaken for a dear by some hunters and was shot. She got right back up. I don't care if you're all immortal any way, don't you ask where it is, because I won't be tellin' you. That spring is not meant for anyone. It's a curse it is."

Nobody questioned the teen and Jack moved on to the next.

"What about you, Jacob? What made you immortal?"

Jacob looked nervously at Bella.

"Go on," she said. "It's alright, I think we can trust them."

"Okay," he said. "Me, Bella, and Nessie, our stories are sort of linked. You see, there's one thing all of your stories had in common..."

He trailed off, loosing his nerve. Jack started to grow impatient.

"What is it?" he burst out.

Jacob looked to Bella for help and she decided to tell the story herself. "What your stories had in common was that you're all human."

Jack sat up in his seat and looked her directly in the eye. "You're not human?" he asked, clarifying.

"You don't seem shocked by that," Bella commented. Jack shrugged. "No, we're not human, though Jacob and I used to be once."

"What happened?" Jack looked thoroughly intrigued.

"I shouldn't tell you, it's against our laws... but then, you're immortal..."

"Out with it!" Owen said impatiently.

Bella sighed. "I was human about ten years ago and I fell in love with someone who wasn't. He was like I am now, a vampire."

"That sounds even more like shit than the boy's Fountain of Youth!" Owen burst out.

"Don't test me," said Bella, eyes flashing dangerously.

"So what happened?" Jack asked, completely unfazed by the mention of vampires.

"I asked him to change me so we could be together forever."

"That sounds so romantic," Jack said with a smile.

"Yeah, well, he refused at first, said that he was a monster and wouldn't inflict this fate on anyone. But I love him and I'm stubborn."

Jacob laughed.

"So how do you fit in to this story, Jacob?" Jack asked.

"I'm not a vampire if that's what you're getting at," he said. "I'm actually a sort of werewolf."

"A sort of werewolf?" Claire asked.

"Yeah, in the way that I'm part man, part wolf. I can transform any time I want, but I can't be wearing anything or my clothes will get shredded. That's happened more than once."

"And how does that tie in with vampires?" asked Jack.

"Vampires are the natural enemy of the wolf. If there is a vampire in the vicinity, it'll trigger a change in any boy coming of age who has the gene. Though, rarely a girl will change."

"So if you're natural enemies, why're you two not at each other's throats right now?" Owen asked, looking between Jacob and Bella.

"Because we've known each other since we were kids," said Jacob.

"That and I don't drink human blood on principle," said Bella. "If I did, he'd have to kill me."

Jacob flinched.

"How do you kill a vampire?" asked Claire.

"Tear them to bits and burn the pieces," Jacob and Bella said at the same time.

"What about werewolves? How do you die?" Owen asked.

"Well, we heal very quickly, like Claire, but not as fast, so it's hard to do, but basically it would need to be a killing blow. I would never die from bleeding out. Then there's the wolf's own choice to consider."

"What do you mean?" asked Jack.

"Well, a wolf can retire; decide to stop phasing and become human again. If that happens, we continue to have good health for the most part, but we are no longer immortal."

"Must be nice," said Claire. "To be able to choose."

Jacob nodded.

"So how does Nessie fit in with this, how did she end up immortal," Jack asked, looking at Nessie.

"I was born this way," she said. "I'm half vampire, half human."

"Is that even possible?" Owen asked.

"Yes. Believe it or not, I'm only nine years old."

The four humans at the table choked and Bella and Jacob snickered.

"When I was born, I aged very quickly, but then at seven, I stopped. Now I'm like this forever," Nessie finished with a smile.

"Who are your parents?" asked Jack.

"I'm her mother," said Bella. "I had her while I was still human, but the stress the pregnancy put on me was too much for me to survive without being changed."

"Okay..." said Owen. He looked like he was sort of getting it, but it hurt his head thinking about it.

"Can I ask you something, Jack?" Jessie asked.

"Sure, go ahead."

"With all those times you've died, do you ever wish that you could die properly?"

"Sometimes," he said. "But in my line of work, it sort of comes in handy."

"What is your line of work?" asked Claire.

"Saving the world."


Everyone took a sip of water again. Except Bella and Owen. Jack noticed.

"You don't want any water, Bella?" he asked.

"I only consume blood," she said. Owen looked ill at the thought. "Anything else comes right back out the way it came."

"Tasty," said Owen sarcastically.

Jack frowned.

"Don't worry, Jack," said Bella. "I won't tell anyone these secrets."

He looked confused.

"I can smell the amnesiac you drugged the water with."

"What?" came four simultaneous outbursts.

"It's so that you won't remember mine or each other's secrets," said Jack.

Claire relaxed at once. "So none of you will remember I can heal?"

"Just me and Owen," said Jack. "We won't tell a soul."

"I don't think vampires can be drugged, so you'll all just have to take my word for it that I won't tell, either," said Bella.

The next day...

Everyone woke up in their own beds, remembering only that the convention had been stupid, to put it nicely. Bella continued to remember the adventure of that night, but Jacob and Renesmee did not.

The End.

A/N: It's kinda boring if you know all the universes already but here's the breakdown:

Captain Jack Harkness- Doctor Who/Torchwood

Dr. Owen Harper- Torchwood

Claire Bennet- Heroes

Jessie Tuck- Tuck Everlasting

Bella Cullen- Twilight

Renesmee "Nessie" Cullen- Twilight

Jacob Black- Twilight

So what did you think? R&R!