A/N- This is a challenge fic. The challenge is from violet-phoenix-rose and the challenge was to use as many quotes from the television show M*A*S*H as possible. violet-phoenix-rose gave a list of quotes, but I must confess to going online to tv loop . com (remove the spaces) and finding some more that I could use also.
Disclaimer- I do not own Harry Potter and Co. or M*A*S*H, which by the way, is one of the funniest shows EVER!
Warnings- OOC-ness abounds! Swearing, drinking… that's all I can think of for now. Oh, this has not been beta'ed and updates will be slow.
Harry Potter was in the basement of No. 12 Grimmauld Place working on a Heritage potion with Draco Malfoy. Harry and Draco had developed a tentative friendship during their sixth year at Hogwarts and the young Malfoy heir was currently helping Harry to not blow himself and the house sky high. The boys were getting ready to add the last ingredient, which was three drops of Harry's blood, when the door to the basement crashed open and in came Harry's Godfather Sirius Black in his animagus form and ran straight into Harry who was trying to carefully add the final ingredient.
A shout of "NO PADFOOT!" from Draco was all the warning Harry had before a great black dog collided with his back, causing Harry to cut his hand much deeper and to plunge both hands directly into the nearly finished potion. Before Sirius could transform back or anyone could do more than make shocked noises, the potion exploded, covering the three and filling the room with a golden hued smoke. When the smoke cleared, neither Harry, Draco, nor Sirius were anywhere to be found in Grimmwauld place.
The first clue Harry had that something was wrong was the pain flooding his body. He tried to roll over, but found that the movement caused sharp pains to course through his head and back. He let out a little groan and was a little surprised to hear another groan and what sounded like a dog whining. Harry opened his eyes and to his shock, found that he was no longer in the basement of Grimmauld Place, but an almost desert like setting. He took a moment to wonder at what kind of trouble he had gotten into now before the sounds of someone else moving around invaded again.
"Bloody hell Padfoot! Didn't Harry and I tell you not to interfere with the potion!"
What sounded like an apologetic whine met the statement.
"I really don't want to hear it Sirius! Now come on, I think we need to get out of here." As if to emphasize this point, several explosions sounded. At the sound, Harry saw Padfoot take off like a shot. Harry groaned, part in pain and part in resigned frustration that Sirius had left him once again.
Draco was yelling at Sirius to come back, but the great black dog just kept running. Finally, the blond gave up and went over to Harry who was now sitting up, but just barely.
"You look like crap Potter." Draco said, while pulling Harry to his feet.
"Thanks Dray, it's nice to know I look the way I feel. Why aren't you just as bad off?"
"Looks like you had a rougher landing than I did. Enough of that for now, we really need to move, especially since that mutt of a Godfather of yours decided to tuck his tail and run."
Harry couldn't find it in himself to defend his Godfather, and even if he could, he wasn't sure if he really wanted to at the moment. It was, after all, Sirius' fault that they were here (wherever here was anyway...) in the first place and had then run off for whatever reason.
Draco carefully helped Harry to his feet and steadied him as he nearly fell back down.
"Easy there Scar-head, if you pass out on me, I'm going to leave you here. Where ever here is..." Draco teased good naturedly, adding the last as an afterthought.
"Ha ha Drake, really funny. Can we move now? This place is kinda making me nervous..."
"Sure thing. Let's see if we can find where your mutt of a Godfather ran off to." Draco said as he wrapped an arm around Harry's waist and draped one of the smaller boy's arms across his shoulders.
They started off in the direction that Padfoot had gone, but didn't get very far before they heard more explosions. Plus, it sounded as if the explosions were getting closer to their location. The two boys shared a look, silently agreeing to try and move faster. They picked up their speed but once again didn't get too far before they heard engines and something that Harry vaguely recognized as helicopter blades.
The two boys stopped and looked around for a place to hide, but the land offered little to no cover. They shared a look of mild panic and were about to simply hide behind some of the brush, however the engines were now on them, coming down a dirt road that passed not far from their location. To their immense relief, the vehicles, all bearing the logo M*A*S*H 4077th and a red cross on a white background, passed without stopping until the very last vehicle.
A/N- This has been sitting on my computer for ages! I confess to having forgot about it… *hangs head in shame* Review please!