A/N: OK, so apparently, I have a very boring life. I was sitting at my desk at work, listening to the radio, when this song came on. I thought it would make for a nice story. I tried not to make it sound too corny.
Well, it is rated M so... Enjoy! :o)
A huge thank you to Scrimmy for pre-reading and fixing this thing! I flove you my dear! ;o)
SM Owns everything Twilight, I own this lovely lemonade!
Jessie is a friend, yeah, I know he's been a good friend of mine
But lately something's changed that ain't hard to define
Jessie's got himself a girl and I want to make her mine
And she's watching him with those eyes
And she's lovin' him with that body, I just know it
Yeah 'n' he's holding her in his arms late, late at night
Jessie's Girl - Rick Springfield
Bella. I've loved her since the moment Jessie stepped foot into my house and introduced us.
This was one and a half years ago.
Jasper, Emmett and I were having our customary "kick off spring break with a bang" party at our apartment. I was already halfway between sober and wasted. You know, that point were the buzz is sweet and your mind still functions enough to actually fucking think before acting.
That's when I first laid eyes on her. I'd never been so... Smitten?
Which is severely out of character because Edward Cullen doesn't do smitten. Like fucking ever.
When Jessie introduced us, she was standing by him wearing a simple pair of light blue skinny jeans paired with a black hoodie and her long dark mahogany hair was pulled up into a ponytail. She looked like the kind of girl who didn't give two shits about what other people thought of her.
Totally my kind of girl.
We shook hands and I could have sworn there was something there because as soon as our hands made contact with each other, I felt a tingle run from my hand all the way to my crotch. It was the strangest thing I had ever experienced.
When she spoke, the silky smoothness of her voice made the hair in the back of my neck stand up, but in a good way. I almost hit on her right then but had to swallow it back, after all, Jessie was right the fuck there.
Her smile was one of an angel. She looked up at me with those beautiful dark hazel eyes. I wept internally that she couldn't be mine.
I could only imagine how perfect her body would look laying next to mine. In my bed. I was automatically hers. Unbeknownst to her, I was eating in the palm of her beautiful dainty hands.
And I was hard. For her. A girl I had just met and never even kissed or touched in any way.
Completely, unconditionally, irrevocably, over my head in love with a girl I had barely known.
I was screwed, and I fucking knew it.
Jessie is one of my best friends. We've known each other since kindergarten. Our mothers used to schedule play dates and shit so that they could sit around, drink coffee and gossip about our neighbours.
We have always been inseparable.
School days turned into high school days which, in turn, went on to be college days.
Now, every time I see him, she's there.
I live with our two best friends while Jessie lives over on the university campus in one of the frat houses. Needless to say, he visits a lot. And since she's been with him, she's become a fixture in our lives as much as Jessie is.
She's become best friends with Alice, Jasper's girlfriend as well as Rose, my baby sister and Emmett's girlfriend.
Nowadays, whenever we all get together, I'm the odd man out. At first, I felt like shit about it. Now, I enjoy it since she's taken it upon herself to spend time with me so that I'm not always left out. It's a sweet kind of torture.
We've even been on a couple of outings just the two of us. Unfortunately for me, we were shopping for something for Jessie, either for Christmas or his birthday. Like I'm one of her fucking girlfriends with insider information and a male perspective on what her man would like.
Just fucking torture.
It sucks giant donkey balls to know that I am basically the same as one of her fucking girlfriends. But fuck it. I take any kind of friendship she can give me but I never cross the line. The last thing I want to do is hurt her. I doubt she will ever even notice my feelings for her. I act around her like I do with Rose. Like the big brother I need to be to her just to keep her close to me in some way.
I'm a sick masochistic bastard. I know.
I've been pining after the girl for a long time, but it hasn't stopped me from dating. I know I need to move on. I need to get her out of my head.
She has unknowingly ruined me for anybody else. Which just goes to show how much that girl owns me and doesn't even know it.
There was Tanya. I broke up with her after only two months because all she ever wanted was sex. What the fuck was I thinking you ask? I still have no fucking clue.
Maybe it was because she was just not Bella.
There was Lauren. I broke up with her after about three months because Alice and Rose couldn't stand her. Since Rose is my sister and Alice is one of my best friends, I trusted their judgement when they told me she was a bitch.
It was confirmed when I heard her talk about Bella to one of her girlfriends when we were all out at a club one night.
Nobody can dislike Bella that much, Lauren was obviously jealous of her for some reason.
Chicks; I just don't fucking get them sometimes.
Then there was Leah. She broke up with me because, and I quote, "you're not one hundred percent into me, Edward". What the fuck did that even mean?
But she was right. Of course I wasn't one hundred percent into her. My head was with Bella all the fucking time.
Those three were the ones that truly struck a nerve. I put a lot of myself into the beginning of those relationships, but over time, it just got to be too much and I let them fall apart. It was all my fault. And I knew it.
I tried to love those girls. I tried to get over the feeling that Bella elicited in me. But I just couldn't.
I am definitely Bella whipped. It's so fucking sad, she could never know.
I am such a motherfucking pussy.
Eventually, I turned to one night stands and dated casually, but didn't bother to even attempt anything long term. The truth is that Bella broke me for all other women. None of them will ever and could ever be her.
And fuck if I could ever do anything about it.
Because she's Jessie's girl.
When she comes over to my house, we hang out. I listen when she talks. I hang onto her every word, but she always leaves with him and it breaks me a little bit more every time.
Even when she comes over or calls me, I know I can't do anything about my feelings so I do my best to make her feel like she's the best thing in the word and I can only hope that over time, she will come to see what she truly means to me.
I just don't want for Jessie to be hurt because of it. I feel torn between the two. I want her with every fibre of my being, but I can't screw over my boy like that, he treats her right, so I just sit back and watch her love him.
I know that he touches her and loves her in a way I only wish I could. I burn for her. There is an ache in my chest that soothes itself when she's around and only worsens over time.
It breaks my heart to know I will never have her, but I need my time to grieve. After we graduate and we all move our separate ways, things will get better.
I won't see her almost every day. I won't have her smell all around me all the time. I won't get to talk to her and make her smile every time we speak. I won't have to think about her every fucking waking moment of my day.
She even invades my fucking dreams.
Hopefully that shit will stop.
I will miss her; it will be like she never existed. Jessie is planning to move out east and she's moving to be with him. They have been speaking about it for the last three months. Her eyes light up every time the move is mentioned. It is probably best for me, I can try to move on and have some kind of normalcy again.
Alice, the ever knowing meddling little psychic, keeps saying it won't happen, that she doesn't think Bella will move because her roots are imbedded here in Seattle along with all of ours. Part of me wishes she were right. I'd usually never bet against Alice. But I know she's just saying that shit to make me feel better. Bella is her own person; I'm not going to stand in her way.
There is a knock at the door, taking me away from my Bella induced reverie.
I look through the peep hole and swallow the lump of bile I feel rising there.
The figure standing in the hall on the other side of that door is her. She looks so small and helpless. Like a lost kitten standing in the hallway outside my apartment. Her eyes are red and puffy, she's been crying for quite a while. Tears still stream down her face, she looks sad and demoralized.
I don't know if I can keep myself from touching her or comforting her in a way that would be considered crossing the line. After all, she's not my girl and Jessie's not here.
I'm screwed either way. If I open that door, I won't be able to not be there for her and the line could get blurry. Things could get messed up. If I just stand here, on this side of the door, and listen to her whimper, my heart might never fucking recover.
In a split second decision, I decide to go with my heart. I need to know why she is so upset. I need to be there for her. I need her.
And right now, she needs me.
I sigh and close my eyes, defeated; I open the door and gaze down at the small girl. A million things go though my head. What made her sad? Who did this to her? I'm going to kill the motherfucker.
She looks up and our eyes meet. I give her a shy smile, telling her it's OK.
She'll be OK. Whatever it is, she'll be OK. I'll make sure she's fucking OK.
She launches herself at me and wraps her arms around my abdomen and presses her face against my chest.
I can't help it; I wrap my arms around her small frame and kiss the top of her head. I inhale the scent of her hair. It's always warm and sunny. It feels like home, like everything is as it should be. But this is so wrong. It feels like I'm crossing that invisible line already.
It's just so fucking wrong.
"It's OK Bells." I rub her back in smooth circular motions and try to sooth her. I just want her to be happy. I want to see that beautiful smile of hers. I want to see those big hazel eyes happy and carefree, like they usually are.
She pulls back a bit and looks up at me from under her lashes, the whimpering has stopped. I wipe the errant tears from her cheeks and give her my best smile. The one she gives me in return is sad, but it's there.
She takes my hand into hers and brings it up to her lips. She kisses the fingertips one by one, her eyes still fixed to mine.
I furrow my brow but say nothing, I can't. She's managed to render me speechless with her gesture.
Without a word, she leads me into my bedroom and I follow. Like a moth to a flame. The aftermath might end me but I don't give a shit right now.
I follow, in a confused haze. Could she be doing what I think she is doing?
What the fuck is going on?
Images of Jessie, his smile with Bella in his arms, overwhelm my thoughts as we stand beside my bed.
She sits on the edge of the bed, still holding my hand. I look down at her.
She smiles and it reaches her eyes this time.
I see it now. Finally. The look on her face, it mirrors my own whenever she is around.
I kneel in front of her and put my hands on her thighs.
"What happened?" I ask, gazing into her eyes searching for the answers I hope I get.
"I broke up with Jessie." She replies. A gush of wind escapes from my lips. I hadn't realized I was holding my breath. Her answer both relieves me and shocks me.
"Why?" I furrow my brow, confusion evident by my demeanour. Without thinking, I rub the top of her thighs with my palms.
"I can't just leave and go off across the country; I'm in love with somebody else." Her answer hits hard. Harder than I ever thought or dreamed it would. It takes my breath away. The whole in my chest feels different. Filled maybe?
"Can I kiss you?" I ask. I want so much more. I want her to be mine. I want to make her mine. I want all of her.
She surprises me by bringing her hands to my face and runs her thumbs over the stubble on my chin.
She bites her bottom lip before releasing it and kissing me.
And fucking Christ I'm going to die.
Her lips on my lips, it's all I can do not to come right there. I've been hard since the moment she wrapped her arms around me at the door.
Such a God damned pussy, I can't fucking help it.
The heat radiating from her body in combination with her familiar scent that is unique to Bella sends my senses into overdrive. I want her with every inch of my being. I need her in every way.
I've been wanting to sample her for over a year now and I'm finally getting a small taste, my body betrays me, it wants the entire fucking plate.
Peen's always had a head of his own.
She deepens the kiss by running her tongue along my bottom lip. I meet her eagerness, our tongues mingle with each other in a game of dominance.
I've kissed a fuckload of women and I swear this is the best fucking French kiss I've ever had. The salty sweetness of her mouth mingling with mine awakens my entire body.
Peen wants out of the confines of my pants and underwear. Fucking prick!
My hands make their way to her hips. I feel her hands in the back of my neck and her fingers in my hair. It feels so fucking amazing to be with her like this, I fucking groan into her mouth and just let the chips fall where they may. I can't stop giving her what she wants because it's obviously what she wants also.
She brings her hands down my back and I feel her bring my shirt up. We break the kiss and I help her take it off. She runs her hands over my chest and moans. The look on her face is of pure determination and lust. Her eyes have darkened and her lips are swollen, but she's fucking beautiful. And finally mine.
I kiss her this time and let my hands roam her body of their own free will. When it comes to Bella, they have a mind of their own.
Her breast are full and soft under my palms. You could cut glass with those nipples. I want more. I want to run my tongue all over her body.
I run my hands to the hem of her shirt and break the kiss while pulling up a bit. Looking into her eyes, I ask for permission to remove the garment.
She takes her bottom lip into her mouth, closes her eyes and swallows. I think I've crossed the line but instead of getting up and running, she gets up, stands next to my bed and takes her shirt off. I'm surprised by her forwardness, but the entire evening's events are far from over because she then unbuttons her jeans and starts pulling those off as well.
I stand there and can't help but take her in. Her skin looks soft, like silk. Her body is flawless, she is truly beautiful.
I take a step and close the distance between us. I put my hands on her shoulders and pull her into a hug. Her warm skin against mine feels like heaven. She wraps her arms around me and holds me tight. As much as I don't ever fucking want her to let me go, she does.
I look into her eyes as her hands make their way to my belt. She expertly takes it apart as well as the button and zipper on my pants. They fall swiftly down my legs in a thud and puddle around my ankles.
The tent in my boxers is now quite prominent. She looks down and smirks as her eyes make their way back up my body slowly. When her face meets mine she blushes.
Too fucking cute for words.
"Like what you see there, sweetheart?" I tease.
"I always have." She replies coyly.
I lean down and kiss her lips then move down to nuzzle and kiss her neck. I push her back to the bed where she sits and leans back. I hover over her and place my knees between her thighs. The heat radiating from her pussy is palpable. My dick shifts and brushes along her stomach. She giggles and I stifle a moan while keeping my lips on her skin.
I kiss her neck while my hands roam her breasts and remove her bra. I palm the soft naked flesh and pinch her nipple between my thumb and forefinger with one hand and take the other in my mouth and swirl and tease the taut nipple with my tongue.
She feels so good writhing beneath me, I want to make her feel as good as I possibly can. I want to always make her feel as good as she's always made me feel by just being near me.
I can't believe I get to touch her this way. I never want this to end.
Her nails scratch my back and make their way down to my boxers where her hands make quick work of lowering them. I stand up and let them fall to my ankles and step out of them.
"This isn't fair." I smirk and look down at her. She's lying on her back in the middle of my bed, her hair splayed out around her head, like a dark halo. She looks perfect, my angel.
"What's not fair?" She asks with a smile on her lips while obviously ogling my dick. I make it wave at her and she looks up at me and blushes.
Yeah, Peen would like a formal introduction. He can be a social little fucker. Not that there's anything little about him.
"This." I say and bend down to hook my fingers on either side of her underwear. She helps me remove the lacy garment by bending her knees and lifting her ass in the air.
Sweet mother of god she's fucking flawless.
I throw the underwear in a corner of my room and make a mental note to remember where they land so that I can hide them later.
Fucking creepy, I know, but she's not getting those back anytime soon.
I settle myself between her knees and start kissing her thighs all the way up to her slit. Her breathing is erratic and her arousal is obvious, I need to taste her.
I want to lick every fucking inch of her.
I kiss her mound and her lower lips. She moans and bucks her hips towards my face. My teasing is obviously driving her mad. Her arousal is palpable.
I open her up with my fingers and run my tongue from her entrance to her clit, finally fucking tasting her. I lap up every ounce of her juices that she has given me. The sweetness that is Bella along with her sounds are enough to send me over the edge without even being inside of her. I take a deep breath to calm myself down but her smell is all around me. I need more.
I use my fingers inside of her and tickle her G-Spot. I suck and nibble at her clit at the same time until she screams and moans my name over and over again loud enough to wake the neighbours.
Fuck the neighbours.
When she comes down from her orgasm, I start kissing her stomach and make my way to her breasts and her mouth. The sweetness that is Bella's pussy mixed in with her breath and mine tastes heavenly.
Must. Have. More.
Her hand makes its way to my dick where she pumps it a couple of times. I groan, she is driving me to the edge quickly and I want to be inside her.
Peen wants a grand entrance of sorts.
I'm happy when she takes the initiative and aligns my dick at her entrance and pushes her hips up so that the tip is inside of her.
I enter her slowly, letting her body adjust to mine. She feels so fucking good. Warm, wet and tight.
So fucking tight.
I halt my movements and hold her hip with one hand while holding myself up on the elbow of my other arm besides her head. Her face is glorious, a sheer layer of sweat covers her forehead and her eyes are dark, full of lust.
I kiss her lips softly and pull my hips back slowly. The friction between us is amazing and I won't last long if I'm not careful.
I don't want to fuck her, I want to make love to her. This is different from anything I've ever done.
Her hands are in my hair and her fingers pull gently at the tendrils in the back of my neck. All the different sensations hit me at the same time and it all feels so God damned good.
I've never felt like this before. It's so fucking amazing; it makes me want to tell her things. I want to tell her I love her but I bury my face in the crook of her neck and pepper it with kisses to distract myself from saying it out loud.
I thrust myself into her and she meets my thrusts with her hips. It doesn't take long before I feel her walls constricting around my dick and she screams my name once more.
I smile and kiss her gently before thrusting myself into her a few more times and filling her with everything I have.
We stay like that way for a little while, I don't want to lose this connection with her.
I kiss her face gently and run my forefinger over her arm while slowly pulling out.
Peen is saddened by the loss of contact. Fucking greedy motherfucker.
I lie beside her and pull her to me. I am amazed as to how she fits perfectly in the crook of my arm.
The whole evening has been like a fucking dream and I don't want to wake up from it.
"I've been denying myself that for a long time now." She sighs.
"I know how that feels." I confess.
"I don't want to screw this up." She adds.
"I don't either." I reply.
We fall asleep in each other's arms.
I wake up with a warm body lying next to me. She is still here. I am relieved it wasn't a dream. I kiss her shoulder gently as to not wake her and pray that Jessie will forgive us.
She looks peaceful. Her hair is a rat's nest on her head and her cheeks are still flush. But she's beautiful. My Bella. I watch her inhale and exhale slowly and wonder what she could be dreaming.
"I love you" I whisper in a low voice. I can't help it this time. It may take a while for me to tell her when we are both awake, but this way I get it off of my chest.
I'm stunned speechless when she replies "I love you too, Edward".
I pull her to me and hold her tightly, never letting her go. Ever. She is finally my girl.
Peen has never been happier.
Being with Bella is the best thing in my life. We complete each other and after years of marriage and four beautiful children, I don't think I could love her any more.
Reviews are close to being better than living Happily Ever After! :o)