That night Amelia Bones sighed. For every thing that went right, something went horribly, terribly wrong. The Longbottoms, and then the Hogwarts Governors. And there was no sign of Neville, anywhere. Poor kid.

The governors, it was a massacre. There weren't any survivors and whoever it was knew their curses. Crucio, cutting, exploding curse and others. There wasn't one sign of the Killing Curse, though. The culprit's magical signature was unknown and the only clue they had was a playing card lodged in Nott's eyesocket where it had entered the brain.

Malfoy was still on the loose. He tried to Imperius one of her Aurors, but had gotten away again. Poor Alice had a hard time of it; she was a good auror and shouldn't have had to experience that. Narcissa was missing, presumed dead as they had found the remains of her leg and nothing else. Some woman in a cat costume had broken into the homes of fifteen old and powerful families and taken a large number of items, including several priceless family libraries. Fudge was bellowing from his cell. And lastly, the Wizengamot was at odds over her choices and what they considered an apparent military coup. With everything that had happened, she was at a loss as to her next move.

Amelia sighed and tossed some floo powder in the fire. "Ossuary!"

"Hey, Auntie," Susan said from the living room. Amelia smiled despite everything and shook her head. There was gray fabric everywhere.

"What are you doing?"

Susan glanced about the mess and giggled nervously at being found out.

"I'm glad I can recover at home, but I needed something to keep me busy," her niece replied. "I thought I'd try my hand at -uh- robe design." Susan leaned in conspiratorially as she gathered up the gray cloth into a rough armful. "I'm starting to think it's not my forte."

Amelia let out her breath and kissed her niece on the forehead, giving her a little hug.

"I'm going to be working late tonight," she said. "I just wanted to make sure you were okay and eating right."

"I'll be alright," Susan said, returning the hug. "I'm pretty safe here behind the wards and the Great Wall of Aurors you built."

"Good," Amelia said. "Get some rest. You can finish this tomorrow."

"Bye, Auntie."

Amelia nodded and flooed back to her office.

She came up to the roof some times to think. The skyline of London seemed to calm her thoughts. Ironic how that was all still there, even with all the turmoil the wizarding world was in. Up here, it was like nothing at all was amiss. Maybe it was because she was looking at the muggle masses, who were blissfully ignorant of the troubles around them.

She needed help.

She flicked her wand and a bright light flew from the end. She pointed it at the sky, letting a now familiar shape light up the clouds overhead. She didn't have to wait long.

"Interesting way to get my attention," said the gruff voice from behind her. Amelia spun around to see the Batman not five feet away from her. "What made you think I'd come?"

"I had to try," she replied. "You helped with Susan, so I thought you might be willing to help find another missing teen. Neville Longbottom."

"I was under the impression you were already in trouble for dealing with me the first time," the Batman said as he stepped out of the shadows.

"They can't say anything that Moody hasn't already," Amelia said with a grim chuckle.

"They might try to oust you by force," The Batman replied. She just shrugged as if it admit it was possible, but unlikely.

"I'm forcing reforms through, and by the time I'm done, they won't be able to go back to the way things were," Amelia said. "I don't want to be Minister, but I'm fixing things. Independent courts for one. Judges and Jury are masked, so no one knows their identities. That should help with the corruption. Mandatory Veritaserum questioning for another."

"It's a start," the Batman conceded before returning to business. "What do you have so far?"

"For evidence? This," she said, holding up a card in a silk evidence bag charmed to be clear.

"A joker?"

"It's all we've got." She passed it over to him. "We traced the last floo out of Longbottom Manor as heading to the Board of Governors meeting. We think he managed to get there and the killer followed."

"It's a start," he said again, pocketing it in his utility belt. Amelia smiled ruefully.

"They're afraid of you, the old core of the Wizengamot," she told him.

"Good. They should be." She glanced out at the skyline again and suddenly she was alone once more.

"Damn," said the Director of Magical Law Enforcement as she glanced about the empty rooftop. "I really need to know how he does that."

Cho Chang and her new beau were walking out on an unusually warm December night in Diagon Alley when a purple clad wizard stepped out of the shadows. He grinned wildly and his tinted hair gleamed green in the light as he spun a card around his finger.

"Wanna hear a joke?" he asked them. He leaned in for a stage whisper. "The punch-line's a killer!"


Cast of Characters

Harry Potter as Bruce Wayne, the Batman

Hermione Granger as Selina Kyle, the Catwoman

Crookshanks as Himself

Remus Lupin as Alfred Pennyworth the Awesome

Luna Lovegood as Oracle

Fred Weasley as Tim Grayson, AKA Rob-Wing, Age Eighteen

George Weasley as Dick Drake, AKA Night-Bin, Age Eighteen

Ronald Weasley as Himself

Amelia Bones as Commissioner James Gorden

Susan Bones as Barbara Gorden, the Batgirl (original)

Nymphadora "Just Tonks" Tonks as Detective Renee Montoya, The Question

Mad Eye Moody as Detective Harvey Bullock

Hedwig, Post Owl as Herself and Diana Prince, Wonderwoman

Trevor the Toad as Trev-or, the Toad of Steel, The Amphibian of Tomorrow and Supertoad!

Cornelius Fudge as Himself

Lucius Malfoy as Jervis Tetch, the Mad Hatter

Narcissa Malfoy as Two Face, AKA Harvey Dent

Severus Snape as Himself

Neville Longbottom as The Joker

Omake Four: Amelia and "How does he do that?"

"Damn," said the Director of Magical Law Enforcement as she glanced about the empty rooftop. "I really need to know how he does that."

Unregistered Batmanimagus clung to the back of her robes and squeaked in his little bat voice.

"Cheep! Cheep!"

Omake Fourteen: Eating Habits

By SpaceMary

"Batman! Batman!" called out the annoying voice of Rita Skeeter. Under his cowl, the Batman rolled his eyes.

He tried to ignore her, but she kept showing up at the worst moments. Five Death Eaters had escaped because she was so damn annoying.

"I just want an interview!"

"What do bats eat?"

"What?" she asked, clearly confused. "Um...some eat fruit."

"Right, fruit bats," he agreed. "What do Vampire bats eat?"

"Blood, wait, are you a vampire?"

"No, but what do most other bats eat?"


"I'll give you a hint, they've got six legs and exoskeletons."


Batman grinned.


Amelia was staring out the window.

"What is it?" Moody demanded suspiciously.

"I've just seen the same bug chased past the window by a bat six times."

"It's night, not a surprise," Moody grumbled. But he eyed the display suspiciously.

Even Later

Amelia Bones flicked her wand and a bright light flew from the end. She pointed it at the sky, letting a now familiar shape light up the clouds overhead. She didn't have to wait long.

"Interesting way to get my attention," said the gruff voice from behind her. She spun around to see the Batman let out the most horrendous belch she'd ever had the misfortune to witness. He patted himself on his chest and shrugged in apology.

"Oops! Had a discussion with Rita Skeeter about chiropteran eating habits. Sorry, please continue."