Tea and Sympathy

"That was a crime scene, John! Lestrade will never let you on a crime scene again. Don't roll your eyes at me! You should be ashamed of yourself."

"Go away."

"And now you're lying on my sofa. I need to think, and you're lying on my thinking sofa. I'd think that after destroying a crime scene and forcing me to come back here with you…"

"I said I'd go home myself…"

"Forcing me to take you home, you'd think about someone other than yourself and at least go to your own room."

"Really?"

"Yes. It's not as if you didn't bring this on yourself. I told you that Chinese place was rubbish. I've already explained multiple times how I can tell, but you were hungry. You were going to faint away if you didn't eat something. I have absolutely no sympathy for you."

"I feel like I'm going to die!"

"That's how I felt after that atrocious roller coaster, and you laughed at me."

"Is that what this is ab—"

"Besides, people do not die from simple food poisoning. Maybe you will learn from this not to insist on eating every chance you get when we're on a case… and to leave me alone when I make the wise decision to…"

"Sherlock! Shut up NOW, and pass me the bin!"