Urusei Yatsura 2 The New Generation
Chapter 1"Kitsune Ken, the trickster"
Well, this is my first time writing a fanfic of any sort so I'll cut things short and just get to the point. The actions here take place long after the end of the second tag race in Urursei Yatsura. And a lot of the cast is different; you'll see a lot of familiar faces as expected but not too many in the beginning chapters, specially since this will focus on the later generations after them. If anything it's a retelling of sorts. BIG OC warning
All characters belong to their respective owners, the original characters from Urusei Yatsura cast belong to Rumiko Takahashi.
This is the town of Tomobiki, located in the Nerima prefecture in Tokyo, Japan. A quiet place to live, not much happens around here, although I frankly wouldn't know...I'm fairly new around here. It's the year 2012, September, and today is Butsumetsu‚…yeah, today is gonna suck, but first thing's first
I suppose introductions are in order: the name's Ken Aoki, though people around here have started giving me the nickname "Kitsune" for some time now. Why? They say I'm like a Kitsune youkai (goblin would be the closest approximation to the english language), so I'm a bit of a prankster…and I get into fights a lot…and I've got pretty weird luck… ok so I'm not exactly the most popular teenager around here, but what do I care what other dudes say about me, I'm here for the ladies. But enough about that, I'm going to tell you a story…
About how my life was ruined...by an Oni
"Gyah!" woke up in a start, my boss was yelling at me again and I was haven' such a nice dream, oh right, you guys need some background:
This is where I work, a little grocery store. The guy yelling at me just now? His name is Kousuke Shirai. Usually easygoing but big on trying to change my mischievious ways. Yeah, like I need any of that around here. I work here the night shifts since I live on my own (I got my reasons). But the store's a cool place to check out the sights, if you catch my drift, or take a quick snooze if there's nothing interesting around here.
See that guy with the stunning good looks, wasting away his 16 years of age in this place as a mop boy, that's me. Messy hair in a ponytail (Hey, your hair would be messy too if you couldn't afford any hair products), ragged pants, an old t-shirt, a charm necklace, and some geta on my feet (once again, all I could afford), my wardrobe was rather shabby but my looks were the ones that were stunning.
Anyway back to the story, where was I?
"KITSUNE! " My boss hollered again
"Tch! I'm NOT a kitsune!" I never said I liked the nickname...
"Ken, you were sleeping again! On the job! You were supposed to mop the floor!"
"Eh, gimme a break, today wasn't an easy day for me at school, that bastard Megane has it in for me. I know it!"
My boss gave a slight chuckle at that. "Well, to be fair you kind of remind him of an "old" friend of ours, though they weren't really on the best of terms most times."
"Geez, what did this guy do to him? Kick his puppy or something?"
"It's better if you don't think about it too much, Kitsu-er‚...Aoki. Anyway get back to work."
"Yeah yeah" I proceeded to get back to my job, not really paying much interest into the topic, though in hindsight I should've asked a lot more about the subject but anyway, remember those sights I mentioned earlier? Right around now one such sight entered the shop. A cute blond girl, hair sticking out like rabbit ears, a cute and unassuming girl to anyone's eyes, but I knew better,
"Welcome, oh, good evening Miyake-chan" My boss gave the usual greeting.
"Good evening, Shirai-san, Ken-kun."
"Yo babe, there's a special offer tonight, go on a date with me and you may just take me home with ya to do whatever ya want. Hurry up though, it's limited time only." One of my foolproof pick-up lines accompanied with my own patented "Knock-'Em-Dead" smolder, you may take notes if ya want.
"Seriously Ken-kun..." The blond beauty picked up the register...and slammed it on my head with enough force to shatter concrete! "You always do this every time I come by, and don't think I didn't notice your right hand going for my butt, Kitsune-kun"
"N-not a kitsuneeee‚..." While I recover from this concussion allow me to introduce my girlfriend, Usagi Miyake. Yeah, that's her real name, but she does have a few quirks to her personality, one is that ability to pop outta nowhere at times, hell, even with my honed senses I haven't figured out how she does it. Oh and she's also really strong, hmm‚...I wonder if she trained in the Art as well...
"Mi-Miyake-chan, I'd really appreciate it if you didn't use my register to bludgeon Kitsune" My boss ignored my pain, of course.
"Oh! I'm so sorry, Shirai-san! Oouh! Look what you made me do, Kitsune!" Ok, it was cute at first but...
"For the billionth time: I'M NOT A KITSUNE!"
"Ah right, Miyake-chan, your mom already called and I got your groceries ready, let me get them for you." My boss ignored my outburst. Am I talking to myself here?
"Thank you very much, Shirai-san!" Usagi had answered also ignoring me
"OE! DON'T IGNORE ME!" Really, this happens every week, sometimes I feel they do it on purpose...
"Oh, lighten up Ken-kun! We're just having a little fun at your expense, I think your nickname is actually quite cute."
"Tch! I'm a guy, I do NOT do cute, I do COOL if anything...but I'll forgive you Bunny-chan, if you go on a date with me." All right it's go time, just like Benatar said, love is a battlefield.
"C'mon! Please?" I don't particularly like to use the puppy-dog eyes but sometimes they work
"I promise I'll be good." I pleaded
"None of your usual antics?"
"You shall see no antics whatsoever!" This means, of course, 'Keep your hands to yourself'
"You won't pick any fights?"
"Normally they pick me..." Hey, it's the truth!
"Ken-kun!" Usagi reproached
"Ok ok, I won't pick any fights" As long as Bantarou and his cronies stay off of my back, there won't be any problems
"You won't play any pranks?" Usagi kept pressing, geez, I'm not that bad, am I?
"I won't, I already got even with Megane-sensei today hehehehe."
"I still think you went too far with the laxatives in his tea, tomorrow he's going to try and get back at you, you know?" In my defense, that's what he gets for stealing my bento, whether I was eating in class or not, you do NOT take a guys' inarizushi, you just don't!
"Yeah yeah, so whaddya say?"
"Hmm... Will you flirt or chase any other girls?" Usagi kept going, I swear, I get no respect.
"Umm...define 'flirt'." Ok, so maybe I have a little, teeny, tiny, almost negligible bad habit
"OK ok ok, you will have my undivided attention, now will you please go out with me?" One more push...
"*giggle* All right, Ken-kun"
"C'mon it's just a little-wait, WHAT?" I honestly did not see that one coming
"I'll go out with you, Ken-kun" One word to sum up all that happened just now: SCORE! Just then the boss finished with Usagi's groceries. Today was going quite well.
"Here's everything your mother ordered, Miyake-chan. KITSUNE!"
"HAI!" I stood to attention, perhaps I spoke to soon‚...
"It's pretty late so walk Miyake-chan back home, ok?" And he ended that sentence with a wink. Go figure, the guy could be pretty cool once in a while.
"HAI! I will be Bunny-chan's bodyguard on the way to her house, SIR!"
"*giggle*" Usagi was really enjoying my whole military schtick. What can I say? Girls love funny guys.
"Just get out of here, Kitsune."
"THANK YOU, SIR. Requesting to be dismissed for the rest of the night!"
"*sigh* Granted, I'll finish up here...like always..."
"Thanks boss" Usagi and I picked up all the stuff and quickly made for the door before the boss changed his mind. As we left I didn't quite catch what he said last...
"Hehehe, ah seeing that kid brings me some good memories back. Makes me wonder what those two are up to these days."
Usagi and I were enjoying our walk on the way back to her house, just chatting and joking as usual. We were each holding a bag of the groceries that Usagi's mom had ordered, hey it pays to be chivalrous at times.
"Honestly Ken-kun, you're impossible sometimes."
"Oh, c'mon, I'm actually doing that Soban guy a favor, if you clobbered him as you clobber me, I doubt he'd survive." Guy was the leader of the Butsumetsu High gang, ugly with a capital U and had an extreme crush on Usagi, just so ya know.
"That's mean! I'm not that strong." Usagi actually believed that, in her eyes she was just a regular high school student
"Yeah, that's like saying 'water isn't that wet' Bunny-chan" She has been called Hulk-bunny for a REALLY good reason
"Hmph!" Usagi puffed out her cheeks in annoyance and proceeded to stick her tongue out at me.
"Hahahahaha." It was real easy to mess with her sometimes, it almost made me feel bad about it. Almost.
"Hmph, you really should join some of the martial arts clubs in school, we'd be invincible in competitions" And this again, a lot of people had decided that my fighting prowess could be better put to use in martial arts competitions and what not. To me there isn't a point in competing in those anymore, besides I have a bit of a more important job around here.
"Nah, I told you I retired out of that. Besides weren't you on my case about the whole 'invincible' thing?" Oh, there was also that.
"Well, yes. But it'd be better than your street fighting all the time. And besides you could use the training."
"Speaking of which‚..." I sniffed the air, sure enough I picked up a scent I would of rather not have picked up. Right in our way, Bantarou and his cronies: Souta, Natsu, and Minoru, looking for a beating as always. These four losers used to be the toughest students in Tomobiki High, before I showed up of course.
"Well well! What do we have here? Why if it isn't Kitsune? You finally tricked another poor girl into your clutches as I see." Bantarou, their leader started, the guy looked like your regular wannabe delinquent, lots of bark and no bite. They used to be the top dogs in Tomobiki High (which wasn't saying much, the other gangs mopped the floor with this lot), but they picked a fight with me and to make a long story short: they wound up in the nurse's office. Since then they have a bit of a vendetta against me, especially this guy, Bantarou, kind of like Megane in the whole irrational hatred thing.
"Get lost, Bantarou. I'm in a good mood for once and you don't want to ruin it." A fair warning, not that I expect them to listen. I've dealt with his kind thousands of times, but no matter how many times I kick their asses they never learn.
"Kitsune, maybe we should take another route." Usagi suggested, of course if she really got angry, she could annihilate this lot with a well-aimed desk to their faces. Actually...
"Don't worry, Bunny-chan they won't know what hit them..." I gloated, of course this had the desired effect on Bantarou and his gang.
"You bastard. Ever since you showed your despicable face in our fair town, you have been nothing short of a CANCER, a CURSE, and A KITSUNE DEMON! You dare underestimate us, TAKE HIM DOWN!" Bantarou hollered
"YES BOSS!" His cronies approached me armed with bats, pipes and a couple of nun-chucks.
"Ok let's get this over with..."
"Ken-kun! You promised not to get into any fights!" Usagi complained. Crap I knew I had forgotten somethin'
"These guys don't even constitute a fight, it'll be okay. Besides you said I needed some training." I reasoned, these guys are the equivalent to the first level enemies you'd find in a zombie game, you smack 'em down but you'll still see them again
"Ken-kun! That's not what I meant!"
"It's okay, don't worry." I ignored her, but of course it was all according to plan.
Predictable as always Bantarou's men attacked me with everything they had. Souta swung his bat in a downward swing, sidestep to the right, the big lug was as slow as ever, he did have some strength though, nothing to even register a blip on my radar but still. Oh here comes Natsu charging with the lead pipe, a little jump over him and he'll go straight for that garbage bin. And last Minoru, making a few of the cliche nunchuck moves, he was the smallest of the crew. He telegraphed his next attack pretty towards my shins and just in time for Bantarou to try and sneak behind me. I flipped to the side just in time for the upward swing of Minoru's nun-chuck to hit Bantarou straight in the-
In the distance, a large cat sitting in a kotatsu perked it's ears to the inhuman scream that pierced through the night, a scream that told of horrible pain that no sane man would ever want to suffer.
"Grrr" Predictably Bantarou got angrier... and squeakier, grabbing the offended *ahem* area. With his voice several octaves higher he yelled another order "Enough playing around, you morons. Get him NOW!" All four of them started to recover and take position when another growl stopped all dead in their tracks
I grinned malevolently.
Usagi started scowling and her face darkened with a decidedly angry expression, she let go of the bag she was carrying, the look of panic in Bantarou's and his underlings' faces was all the confirmation I needed that my plan worked
"Wh-why you...why are all men so...so stubborn...You...you...YOU!" Usagi started, blind with rage already.
What happened next would be something of a bizarre occurrence to non-locals. The first time I saw Usagi get angry, it shocked me and caught me by surprise. I wound up in the nurse's office that day, a first in my life, but I digress. She went for the street pole and tore it out of the ground. And like a huge concrete baseball bat she swung all the while yelling her battle cry:
"MEN BE DAMNED!"
Just as Bantarou and crew stumbled and tried to get away I jumped over the swing of the makeshift concrete bat avoiding the crippling hit. She of course nailed the four stooges, and sent them into a low orbit flight. Usagi's contribution to the Japanese space program, the first morons in space, hehehehe.
"*huff* *puff* What do you have to say in your defense, Kitsune!" Usagi yelled at me. I gave my biggest smile and merely answered of course.
"I didn't get into any fights. YOU did. All I did was dodge." I merely answered, revealing my evil plan.
Usagi blinked as she let go of the street pole she was holding out of shock. And started trying to make sense of what just happened.
"Huh! But I-but you-but they...Ouh! You tricked me!"
"Maybe, but I kept my promise, didn't I?"
"Hmph!" Usagi puffed her cheeks out in that cute manner of hers, then she smirked and giggled again. "This is EXACTLY why we call you Kitsune."
"I'm not a kitsune!" I replied, it was starting to seem like a catchphrase or something by this point.
And with that we made our way back to her house. Her mom was predictably waiting for her.
"Usagi-chan! Where were you! I was worried sick." Usagi's mom asked. And then she noticed me.
"Ah Aoki-san!" Shinobu Miyake, Usagi's mom, she's a very normal housewife. She's married to some guy called Inaba who I've met rare times, she tells me he's away at work most of the time. She's pretty normal in most senses, though she did slam the kitchen table on my head when I slipped hot sauce on her husbands rice bowl that one time, so I figure Usagi got her strength from her mom.
"Good evening, Miyake-san. Just helping, Bunny-chan carry your stuff back here. We kind of had a little distraction along the way" And on cue Usagi blushed in embarrassment.
"You two didn't get into any fights, did you?" The Miyake matriarch asked of the both of us. Usagi was beet-red while I merely chuckled.
"Well I didn't get into any fights. Hahahaha-OOF!" I was nudged painfully by Usagi's elbow to quit the all-too-suspicious laugh
"Anyway, get back inside Usagi-chan. And thank you for helping with the groceries Aoki-san."
"No problem. Hey Usagi, don't forget our date ok?"
"K-Kitsune!" Hehe, I didn't think Usagi's face could get any redder but I guess I was wrong. Meanwhile Miyake was giving an amused look to the both of us.
"Saturday at noon, at the park, ok?" I gave Usagi a playful reminder, she looked so cute when she got embarrassed.
"Geez, I'll be there, now get outta here already. You're embarrassing me!" Told ya so
"Heheheh ok ok, I'm going. Have good night, Bunny-chan, Mrs Miyake" I made my way out of there, heard them talk a bit as I was leaving but I didn't catch much of what they said...
"*giggle*" Shinobu Miyake laughed at the little exchange, as she saw the young pony-tailed boy walk away.
"Huh? What's so funny, mom?" Usagi asked her mother.
"Oh? It's just that you're finally dating Aoki-san. I figured you would."
"I'm sorry Usagi-chan, it's just he just reminds me of the first boy I used to date." Shinobu had quite a nostalgic look as her mind went down memory lane.
"Huh, really? Was he a troublemaker like Kitsune *giggle*"
"Oh no no, nothing like that, he was nothing like Aoki-san‚...
Ataru was much worse." She said, donning a smile while she remembered days past, whilst her daughter looked at her confused.
As I made my way back to the student club building I lived in, my mind wandered and fantasized about the date with Usagi. But of course, today was Butsumetsu...
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAHA!" And bad luck struck again.
"GYARGH!" Suddenly I was faced by the most horrible visage: a face so utterly ugly it shouldn't belong to a human, but no this CREATURE was human. Something akin to a monster, no one wanted him near, every time he showed his horrible wrinkled out face it only caused trouble, he was of course:
"DAMMIT CHERRY! I DO NOT NEED TO SEE YOU'RE UGLY LITTLE MUNCHKIN FACE TODAY, OR EVER FOR THAT MATTER" I yelled at the shrunken monk whose horrid mug would definitely give me nightmares tonight.
"Your face...it's extremely horrible!"
"..." Oh no HE DIDN'T!
One short beating later...
"I don't want to hear that from outta YOU, you subhuman freak!" I yelled, seriously, has he ever looked in a mirror! On second thought, if I was the vertically challenged monk I'd avoid reflective surfaces as well.
"*kaff* *kaff* I mean that there is a very ominous sign on your face, Kenichi Aoki"
"Guh!" How did he figure out my FULL, REAL name? I hate this guy! So creepy...
"I warn you Kenichi Aoki, you must not take this route, otherwise you will suffer great misfortune. I can see it in the stars!"
"Ah shaddup! I don't care what you say, the only misfortune I suffered today was seeing your horrible face. And besides, this is the quickest way back to my apartment so shut it!" I decided to ignore the deranged monk and made my way leaving him behind.
Cherry looked in deep contemplation to the retreating figure of the young man he had warned.
"There is an old saying in this our world, young one. If you choose not to learn from the past, you will surely be cursed to repeat it."
The old monk picked himself up and continued to make his nightly rounds
Well that certainly ruined my evening. Stupid no-good monk, and his stupid no-good predictions, as if he could see any predictions in the stars‚...Huh!
As I raised my head towards the stars I saw an odd blinking star, it looked like a falling star with a really weird trajectory, and it's headed towards me?
Is that...no way...is that a UFO?
I knew today was gonna suck
To be continued