Chapter 1

Introduction

"I swear! He was hit with three different curses at the same time! Now he's in Saint Mungos!" said Harry, trying to convince the people at the Gryffindor table of what happened in the Ministry of Magic last night. I, unfortunately, was there too, and saw it happen. Just as Seamus was about to say something we all froze. I mean literally froze, we couldn't move even if we wanted to. About after ten seconds of being frozen Lord Voldemort appeared standing in the middle of the great hall.

"Holy shit!" whispered Seamus. Wait? He whispered? It was then that I realized that we could move our eyes, and talk.

"Holy shit indeed Mr. Finnigan" said Lord Voldemort. Seamus instantly froze in shock that he was heard. "Okay, so now that everybody has shut up" he said, looking at a shocked Seamus "I will announce what I am here for. Throughout my time of being the darkest wizard of all times I realized that when you feel a strong emotion it's good to let your… what – ever – emotion – you're – feeling out, so that's why we're all going to SING! I have put a spell on the school so that even if you don't want to sing you HAVE to. Any questions?" He said as if he just taught an important lesson. Ron's hand instantly shot up.

"Yes?" asked Voldemort looking at Ron.

"Even the teachers?" asked Ron.

"Even the teachers" Said Voldemort, grinning. "Any other questions?" Silence. "No, okay then, I will demonstrate what happens when you feel very emotional." With that he disappeared and re-appeared 3 minutes later wearing…makeup? He just smiled as background music started to play. Suddenly his voice got EXPREMELY high pitched.

I feel pretty, oh so pretty

I feel pretty, and witty and gay

And I pity any girl who isn't me today

He Danced up to the teacher table and stood in front of Dumbledore and wiggled his butt in his face

I feel charming, oh so charming

It's alarming how charming I feel

And so pretty that I hardly can believe I'm real

See the pretty girl in that mirror there?

Who can that attractive girl be?

Such a pretty face, such a pretty dress

Such a pretty smile, such a pretty me!

He finally jumped off the teachers' desk and ran up to the slithering table.

I feel stunning and entrancing

Feel like running and dancing for joy

For I'm loved by a pretty, wonderful boy!

When he sang that last part he jumped onto Crabbe's lap.

Have you met my good friend Maria?

The craziest girl on the block

You'll know her the minute you see her

She's the one who is in an advanced state of shock

She thinks she's in love she thinks she's in Spain (la la la)

She isn't in love, she's merely insane

It must be the heat

Or some rare disease (la la la)

Or too much to eat

Or maybe its fleas

Keep away from her!

Send for chino!

This is not the Maria we know

Modest and pure

Polite and refined (la la la)

Well-bred and mature

And out of her mind!

He suddenly jumped up off of Crabbe's lap and ran up to the Ravenclaw table and started dancing.

I feel pretty, oh so pretty, that the city should give me its key!

A committee, should be organized to honor me

I feel dizzy

I feel sunny

I feel fizzy and funny and fine!

And so pretty

Miss America can just resign

(Girls: la la la la la la la la la la, la la!)

See the pretty girl in that mirror there?

(Girls: what mirror where?)

Who can that attractive girl be?

(Girls: which what where whom?)

Such a pretty face, such a pretty dress

Such a pretty smile, such a pretty me!

He jumped off the Ravenclaw table and ran up to the teachers' table.

I feel stunning and entrancing

He sat on Professor's Snape's lap,

Feel like running and dancing for joy

He put his arms around his neck in an embracing manner,

For I'm loved by a pretty, wonderful boy!

And kissed the professor's cheek. After that he disappeared and all chaos broke loose.