A/N: Yeah, so this is my first FF fanfic ever, and its really old and just an excuse to write smut about these two, but I recently got back into FVII: AC again, and found a new story that had Rude/Loz in it! Side pairing, but I'll take what I can get! :D There needs to be more fanwork about these two. This is what I get when most of my OTPs are unusual rare crack pairings. *sigh*

Disclaimer: Don't own 'Final Fantasy VII: Advent Children' or its characters. Shame, that. XD

Summary: It's Rude's birthday and the Turks have a special surprise for him.

Rated: M

Warnings: A/U-ish, PWP, potential OOC, smut, lemon, yaoi, M/M, crack pairing with "manly" bara characters


Rude was tired. And sore. After reporting how his mission went to the President, all he wanted to do was get out of his uniform suit, take a nice hot shower, maybe grab some grub, and then collapse into bed. 'Sweet Planet, does that sound heavenly,' he thought wistfully, as he silently made his way down the hall.

When he moved to unlock his door, it swung open before he could reach it, revealing the grinning face of Reno. "Yo, aibou! Happy birthday!" the redhead greeted enthusiastically as he pounced on the poor man, leaving him no time to react and making him stumble back a little. Rude would never admit this out loud, but he was glad that Reno still considered him his partner, even though they no longer always took missions together. But in his current situation, he was really, really tempted to just drop Reno flat on his ass, instead of having to carry him like a 2-year-old.

'Though his attention span is equal to one,' he thought dryly. "Reno," his deep voice muttered, "Get off of me."

"Maa, you're so comfy, though!" he complained good-naturedly while rubbing both hands on Rude's bald head. Then he unwounded his legs and arms from his fellow Turk, letting the bigger man place him on his feet.

"We were just finishing up setting your birthday surprise," Elena said as she came up with Tseng not far behind, her eyes bright as she gave him a smile.

Rude turned to Tseng. "…Should I be afraid?"

"Quite," the Head Turk confirmed, "but do try to enjoy your surprise anyway. We put a lot of effort into it." The normally stoic man managed a small smile of his own.

"Now, you go in there, take a nice shower, eat the dinner 'Lena so graciously made for you, and enjoy your present, yo," Reno instructed, "And under no circumstances are you to enter your bedroom before you do all those things. Orders from the President." He gave another grin.

"The President?"

"Yeah! He also sends you this, yo!" The redhead fished out a crisp white envelope from his suit jacket and handed it over to Rude in a flourish. It bared his name on the front in a neat scrawl Rude recognized as the President's handwriting. He carefully opened it to find a simple piece of paper:


Make use of the opportunity about to be presented to you. You'll know you'll want to once you find out what it is. Oh, and happy birthday.

-Rufus," Reno read out loud for him from the side. "Wow, he sure has a way with words," he snickered.

"Well, we better be going," Elena sighed as she moved out of the way, "Happy birthday, Rude," she said and leaned up on her tip-toes (the dark skinned Turk had to bend down a little) and gave Rude a swift peck on the cheek.

"Thank you," he said the same way he always did, but the others could hear the sincerity beneath the monotone.

Reno followed suit. "Have a nice night, big guy~!" He smooched him with a loud "Muah!" and grinned at him mischievously once more before trailing behind his co-worker down the hall. Tseng placed a hand on his shoulder and gave him a nod, then bid him happy birthday as well and a goodnight before following the other two. Rude watched them all go with an invisible smile before entering his quarters.

The smell of home cooking immediately caught his nose's attention, so he decided to eat first, and then take a shower and try to find this 'present' afterward. Entering the kitchen, Rude was presented with all his favorite dishes all arranged in a tasteful manner on his kitchen table. He smiled for real this time as he pulled the grilled chicken and rice pilaf towards himself first, thankful that he had people who cared and were willing to do these types of things for him. When he went to fetch a beer from the fridge after he had devoured everything else, there was a rather large slice of death by chocolate cake waiting for him for dessert. 'Elena knows my stomach well. Bless her,' he thought as he took a bite. "Mmmm," he moaned lowly. 'Delicious.'

After one of the best dinners of his life, he went to take that much needed shower. Taking off his shades and placing on the bathroom sink, he commenced in stripping off his suit. The big man sighed as hot water finally hit his dark skin, and began to wash the grime of the day away. 'Now I'm going to have to return the favor somehow when it's their birthdays,' he thought, 'but how? Reno has a lover already in Yazoo, and Elena and Tseng have each other, plus the President if the rumors are true. What else could they all possibly want? Though, it must be nice to have someone to come home to…' Not wanting to dwell on how lonely his life seemed, Rude tried to shake off his current thoughts. He pulled a white fluffy towel off the rack and slowly dried himself. 'Besides, the one I want seems to avoid me like the plague.'

He could remember the first time he saw him again; the shock and awe at once again being able to see short silver hair slicked back, Mako green cat eyes glittering and a confident grin was present, which had been, and still is, sexy as hell. His well-built frame was encased in a leather fighting suit, combat boots on his feet, and his weapon, Dual Hound, was attached to his left forearm. His brothers were also present at the time, both beautiful but more slender and effeminate compared to Loz.

They'd been sitting and talking to Rufus when the massive Turk had knocked on the door to report a mission, and entered after given permission.

"Ah, Rude," the blonde had murmured when he saw who it was, "I'm glad you're back safe and sound." He'd stood up and the other three had followed his example, the Head of Shinra moving around his desk to greet his loyal Turk. "I'd like you to be the first to meet the new recruits," he'd smirked and gestured to the three brothers. "Meet Yazoo, Kadaj, and Loz, I'm sure you remember them. Gentlemen, I'd like to formally introduce you to Rude."

Yazoo was the first to greet him, then Kadaj. Both shook his hand and they exchanged hellos and nods, and Rude, as expressionless as ever, had also kissed their gloved knuckles out of courtesy. They had "ooh"ed in jest and giggled with each other about how much of a gentleman he was, as he shook hands with Loz.

"Uh, h-hi," the silver haired Adonis had said nervously in a deep shaky baritone, suddenly timid of Rude.

Rude nodded. "I hope you enjoy your stay at Shinra," he had rumbled in return, the first thing he'd said since entering the room. Yazoo and Kadaj had chuckled, and Loz's face had turned an attractive shade of red. He'd looked away, withdrawing his hand quickly from Rude's with a frown on his face.

Ever since then, every time Rude entered a room Loz happened to be in, the other man would quickly leap to his feet, mumble about having to do something, and beat a hasty exit. The Turk had dejectedly resigned himself to the fact that Loz just didn't like him for some reason. Maybe he had offended him somehow?

The only person he's ever told his secret to was Yazoo, only because he had quickly become a close confidante, and because the slim silver haired beauty cornered him about it. After hearing about his dilemma, Yazoo had chuckled and smiled mysteriously, reassuring him with words and comforting caresses that all is not what it seemed, which really wasn't that reassuring at all.

Rude shook his head to try and clear his mind before going to bed; otherwise he'll start fantasizing of Loz tonight. 'Not that I don't do that already,' he sighed hopelessly, and opened his bedroom door…only to quickly shut it again.

He blinked, blinked once more and shook his head vigorously before slowly opening the door again and cautiously poked his head through.

He couldn't believe it; the object of his thoughts and affections lay naked on his side, gagged and tied with black silk ribbons snaked around his body like a present, right on top his massive bed. A large black bow covered his lap, and a black, spiked leather collar surrounded his neck. Wide, anxious Mako green eyes met Rude's disbelieving stone gray ones, which couldn't help ogle that body.

In his fighting suit, Loz looked bulkier than he really was, especially standing next to his two slender brothers. But without it, Rude could see the possible similarities between the three - other than their hair and eye color - in his trim waist and long shapely limbs. 'Sweet Planet, he's gorgeous.'

Loz's pale face turn a soft, yet noticeable pink as he shifted a bit, uncomfortable under such a concentrated gaze, which snapped Rude out of his daze. The Turk warily approached the bed like Loz was some kind of dangerous animal, which would have been funny had it been another situation with a third party around. As it was, his eyes never left green cat-like ones as he moved to carefully sit by the foot of the bed near the silvery head. Rude slowly brought his hand up to touch Loz's face, but when he got close enough, the other flinched, which Loz immediately regretted when he saw Rude's stormy eyes dull.

The bald man sighed quietly before rising and padding over to his dresser. He pulled out a pair of gray sweatpants and a plain white t-shirt, then made his way over to his bedside table to retrieve a pair of scissors. Loz looked on unsurely as Rude carefully cut off the ribbon that was gagging him. He remained quiet as the darker man began to untie and slowly remove the long ribbon around his legs. Rude, on the other hand, tried his best not to let his eyes and hands wander over those strong, creamy legs as he worked on the ribbon.

Loz blushed and bit his lower lip, trying not to moan as those large, warm hands unintentionally caressed his thighs. "U-uh…um…w-what are you doing?" he asked softly, which was unusual from his confident, boisterous voice. Rude has never heard him so quiet and…submissive before.

Rude glanced at him before continuing his task. After a pause, he said, "I'm trying to get you out of these ribbons, so you can leave."

"Huh?" Almond-shaped cat eyes blinked, confused and hurt.

Rude refused to look up. "You don't want to be here, right?" It was more of a statement than a question, yet Loz could have sworn that he heard a quiet sadness in the otherwise monotonous voice. "You can borrow those and bring them back later, so you don't have to walk to your room naked," he nodded to the clothes he'd brought over. 'President's orders be damned. I'm not going to enjoy this if he's here against his will. Even if this'll probably be the only chance I'll ever get with him,' he thought miserably as he removed the offending ribbon at last. He carefully shifted Loz in a kneeling position on the bed so he could reach around to the one tying his arms together.

"B-but…but what if I said I wanted to stay?" Loz asked quickly in that quiet voice again. Rude froze, his hands resting on smooth, ivory arms, and snapped his gaze to Loz's. Their eyes locked.

"I'd have to ask why," The darker man replied slowly after a moment, searching those pretty green orbs for…something, anything, really.

"Uh, because I uh…I-I like you," Loz stuttered, "a lot." He turned his face away, embarrassed as his blush darkened. Rude took hold of his chin gently and turn him back to face him.

"I like you too," he murmured after a moment, "a lot." He smiled and received a relieved one in return. "But what I don't understand is why you kept running away from me whenever you saw me coming." He cupped Loz's handsome, masculine face and gently thumbed soft chiseled cheekbones.

"I-I don't know what to do in things like this, so I didn't wanna make a fool out of myself whenever you were around," Loz began to ramble, "You're always so calm and…and I'm not. I can't keep my feelings in control sometimes. Kadaj always tells me I have to stop being so sensitive, and I know that but I can't help it," he nuzzled against those warm hands, "And I didn't want you to know I liked you when I didn't know if you liked me back. I talked to Yaz about it. He just smiled in a creepy way and told me not to worry too much. That just made me more nervous though." Rude narrowed his eyes in thought, remembering his own talk with Yazoo.

"Do you know how you ended up in my room?" he asked suddenly.

Loz blinked in confusion, but answered, "Nope, but I remember sparring with my brothers for a long time, which wore me down a lot, and them inviting me over for dinner. After a shower, I went down to their rooms and ate with them. I think I blacked out, because the next thing I knew, I was waking up in here and you coming in after a little while."

'Ah. I see, so Kadaj and Yazoo were in on it too. They must have slipped him something to make him pass out and wake up disoriented, otherwise he'd probably of snapped the ribbons off himself if he wanted to.' Rude nodded once to show he understood.

"Why didja ask?" Loz tilted his head innocently and the darker man shook his head and smiled at the admittedly cute sight, amused and not wanting to explain. Loz was just so naïve and…lovable. He couldn't help it; he moved in swiftly to steal a kiss. "Umph!" The other started as his eyes widened, before they slowly slid shut. He returned the kiss hesitantly, parting soft lips when a warm, wet tongue nudged against them, asking permission. "Mmmh…"

Rude told himself he was only going in for a taste, but, 'Hnn, he tastes so good.' The kiss quickly deepened, becoming more passionate as Loz started to respond eagerly. He began to trace the lines of Loz's muscular body with light fingers, starting from his neck. The silver haired man's breath hitched as those fingers grazed his nipples, and jerked back from the kiss with a gasp when they started pinching experimentally. He twitched and started to pant as Rude started to thumb them in circles, making them harden.

Rude moved to suck on that silky corded neck, making the other move his head to the side to give him more room. His hands ran down the length of Loz's sinewy arms until he reached the bow tying them together and tugged gently to loosen it, tossing the ribbon off the bed all together. After his arms were freed, Loz placed his surprisingly supple yet powerful hands on Rude's impressive biceps, moving away slightly to touch their foreheads together.

"Yaz also told me I'd be getting someone to play with soon, too," he bit his lip and groaned slightly as Rude's fingers explored further down his toned stomach, feeling rock-hard muscles quiver under smooth, flawless skin like silk on steel. "U-Uhnn…so please, will you play with me?" Emerald cat eyes, half-lidded and filled with growing desire and affection, gazed imploringly into darkening maelstroms of gray. Pink dusted his cheeks and his sweet breath hit Rude's lips in soft puffs. 'So he wants to play, does he?'

A low, rumbling growl was all the warning Loz received. He let out a surprised yelp as he was tackled and pinned down to the bed, and moaned breathlessly when the large man on top of him hungrily ravished his mouth. Rude pulled away after several moments, leaving Loz breathing harshly, and looked down to admire the view.

Loz may not be as calculating as Kadaj, or as clever as Yazoo, but one of his biggest qualities was definitely his strength. To have all that power and muscle beneath him, flushed all over and trembling in need, made Rude feel pretty damn good. And he wasn't even started yet.

The large black bow was the last obstacle. He moved to pull it off, but stilled in his haste when Loz screamed erotically in pleasurable agony. The man whimpered when Rude kissed him softly in apology and tugged again more gently. He clawed the bed sheets as the Turk untied the rather snug thing, revealing his erection.

Rude pulled back and stared. The cock was thick and long, nestled in a thatch of trimmed soft silver hair, yet perfectly proportionate to the rest of his soon-to-be lover's sculpted god-like body. Another thing he noticed was a cock ring at the base.

Said Adonis squirmed and faced his head away in embarrassment again, but Rude would have none of that. He turned him back and swooped down to plunder Loz's mouth, gripping the impressive rod in a large, calloused hand. Loz's jerked his hips involuntarily and let out a low muffled cry, reaching up to wrap his muscular arms around broad shoulders. He let out a manly squeak and closed his eyes when Rude squeezed and the hand started to move.

Making sure the other was preoccupied and his eyes still closed, Rude pulled back out of Loz's arms and looked around for something to ease the pain for the other later on. He caught sight of a tube of lube on the bedside table and a small pint of vanilla ice cream with an ice cream scooper placed on top, as well as a small bottle of chocolate syrup and a little note that said, "Your other 'dessert'. Enjoy!" Rude raised an amused eyebrow, but quickly thought of some rather naughty things he could use them for. The Turk reached for the ice cream with his other hand, and managed to uncover the pint of ice cream, as well as take a rather large scoop of it, single-handedly. He smirked deviously as he removed his hand from Loz. When those beautiful emerald pools opened in confusion as to why he stopped, Rude released the frozen treat right where his hand had just been. The result was one of the sexiest things he's ever had the pleasure of witnessing.

"AAAAAAHHHHNNN!" Cat-like pupils contrasted violently in shock as Loz screamed in sweet torture. His erection gave a little jerk as his back arched sharply at the extreme change in temperature. His hands clenched on reflex, fisting the bed sheets below him. Loz's stunning face flushed a dark attractive red, tearful exotic eyes again half-lidded while his mouth hung open, panting as his lungs worked frantically to try to regain the breath that was knocked out of him. "Mmh…" he moaned as he attempted to stop his entire body from shuddering. "C-cold…" he whined, but was suddenly hyperaware of Rude's stare on him and looked up, slightly worried. Dark eyes were smoldering and predatory, swirling storms of hunger. The dark, handsome man watched through a narrowed gaze as the vanilla slowly started to melt, some pooling near Loz's navel and some dripping down the crevice between his trembling alabaster thighs.

"Rude?" Loz questioned uncertainly, as Rude grabbed the bottle of chocolate syrup. The silver haired male flinched in surprise when he dribbled it down his body in random patterns from his collarbone to his cock, covering the melting ice cream as well.

Rude let out a deep rumble. "Mmm, I'm hungry...and you, babe, you look good enough to eat," he murmured and licked his lips.

Loz looked up fearfully, a tear falling onto his flushed cheek unbidden and Rude bent down to slowly lick it away, pinning Loz's pale hands above his head. He kissed his way to Loz's pliant lips and let his tongue casually roam the inside of that sweet cavern, causing his lover to moan weakly in pleasure, letting him have his way with him. Rude released those lips reluctantly, but he had other things in mind so the big man made his way down his partner's sculpted body, licking it clean of chocolate at a leisurely pace. He nipped and sucked at Loz's nipples as his hands caressed his sides, making Loz suck in a sharp breath and twitch in response before continuing down south.

Once Rude reached his cock and slowly licked it clean, Loz's erection had returned full force from all his carefully deliberate ministrations, nearly ready to burst. The Turk continued on in his steady pace, mouthing and giving the length long full strokes of his tongue, before engulfing it whole without warning. "AAHHH!" Loz's hips jerked up, but Rude held his hips down firmly from bucking. "R-Rude, Rudy," he chanted, whimpering like a wounded puppy. Pale hands reached down to cup his lover's smooth head. Rude hummed contently and swallowed, which made the other arch up into him. "Haahh~!" So hot!

Just before Loz reached his peak, Rude drew his head away and blew on the glistening cock, making his silver beauty sob desperately. "Shh," the darker man soothed as he came back up, "Something better is coming." Loz sniffled and nuzzled his face against his collarbone in response. "Turn around for me, baby. On your knees."

"…'Kay," he said softly, rolling over obediently with his knees on the bed. He blushed brightly when Rude moved his thighs apart a little more, hiding his face in his folded forearms. The man behind him smiled and kissed his shoulder affectionately before finally removing the towel around his own waist and grabbed the lube to prepare him. Loz gave a startled sound when a slicked finger experimentally prodded his entrance.

"Relax," came the gentle order, and he felt the tension slowly slipping away. The thick finger eased in and out until he fully relaxed, before a second finger joined in, and then a third. It didn't so much hurt as it was uncomfortable, and before he knew it, Rude pulled all three out.

Loz then felt something bigger began to prod him, which made him stutter out, "A-ah, Rudy?"


"I wanna see you," he requested in a shy mumble. Rude smiled fondly.

"Of course," he said, and turned him over onto his back. He lifted one smooth leg high onto his shoulder, kissing a knee, and positioned himself into place again. "Better?" he asked, not waiting for an answer as he slowly sunk into tight velvet heat.

"Unnngh…yesss…" Loz hissed, tensing briefly before forcing himself to relax. Rude continued to push forward, careful not to go too fast, and stilled once he was all the way in to give Loz time to adjust. All they could hear were the sounds of their heavy breathing and the rush of blood flowing through their veins. Several moments later, Loz shifted his hips a little, silently asking Rude to move. He didn't need to be told twice.

With slow, shallow thrusts, he worked on finding a good rhythm. It wasn't until Loz suddenly cried out that he began to pick up the pace and tried to hit that spot again. And again. And again. And– "Oh, yeah! There!" the muscled beauty beneath Rude gasped when he picked up the pace and pounded into him with hard, powerful thrusts. The darker man could feel Loz clenching around him; he wasn't going to last much longer. "Ah, i-it hurts…" '…Huh?'

Rude's movements slowed as he looked down to see the other pumping his aching cock desperately. He released a relieved sigh when he realized he wasn't the exact reason for Loz's pain. The Turk batted the pale hand away and reached down to release the cock ring, all the while still slamming into the willing body that seemed to be sucking him in. He grasped the abused shaft in an iron fist, eliciting a strangled gasp from below. The big man summoned his best authoritative voice and commanded harshly, "Come. Now." The alabaster body snapped up obediently into an arch as Loz released a raw, ragged cry of ecstasy, Rude not far behind him.


It was another day and late in the evening, and Rude was exhausted. He'd just gotten back from reporting to the President and was making his way back to his rooms, opening his front door with a sigh of relief and breathing in the smell of fresh laundry. He could hear the sink running and Loz's humming.

"I'm home," he called out in his low voice, taking off his jacket and placed it on the back of the couch as he made his way into the kitchen. There he found the table set ready for the meal he'd make and Loz barefoot at the sink, dressed in one of his white dress shirts with the first few buttons undone, a pair of comfy black pants, his collar around his neck, and an apron. The fighter had his sleeves rolled up his strong forearms to his elbows and was currently washing pots and pans from last night.

At the sound of footsteps, Loz turned around and his Mako eyes lit up. "Welcome back, Rudy!" he replied cheerfully with his trademark confident grin, before turning back to the dishes. Rude came up behind him and wrapped his arms around his waist, placing a kiss on his neck above the collar they'd kept as a reminder of that night and watching Loz finish up. As the last dish made it to the drying rack and Loz dried his hands, he was spun around quickly and had his breath stolen from him as Rude explored the mouth he had already memorized. It was nice to finally have someone to come home to, Rude thought, as Loz gave a pleasant hum and ground his hips against him when his big, dark hands groped a firm, round ass.

'Really nice.'



A/N: So…Yeah. *Shifty eyes* Assuming anyone reads this, please R&R? Tell me what yu think. :D But no flames, please. Some con-crit would be nice though. More to come with inspiration hits me again.