I'm bored, OK? I'm in the mood to write something. And this quick little cracklet is what my mind has decided to churn out for today. Enjoy, mon choux! Everything is copyright their respective owners. Green Day is awesome.

The day Rory took advice from his iPod for the third time in his life was the single most fabulously mental-scarring day the Doctor and Amy had experienced in months. It all started when Amy decided to go to the grocery store, and took the Doctor with her.

"She promised me I could buy fish fingers and custard!" the Doctor said giddily. "We'll be back in an hour!" Amy kissed her husband goodbye (but not before the Doctor stole a Rory kiss of his own) and dragged the Doctor out of the TARDIS door, making sure he locked it behind him.

A few minutes passed, and Rory got bored very quickly. He pulled his iPod out of his windbreaker pocket, put the earbuds in his ears, and pressed shuffle. The familiarly snarly-punk voice of Billie Joe Armstrong pulsed through his ears, accompanied by trumpets, Tré Cool on drums and Mike Dirnt on electric bass. Rory sang along loudly.

"Sugar and spice and everything nice wasn't made for only girls, GI Joe in panty hose is making room for the one and only king for a day, princess by dawn! King for a day in a leather thong! King for a day, princess by dawn – just wait 'til all the guys get a load of me!"

By the time the song finished, Rory's smile turned twistedly wider. He ripped his clothes off and ran into his TARDIS bedroom. He set his iPod onto his iHome, put "King For A Day" on repeat, and opened the closet. "Just wait 'til all the guys get a load of me," he sang.

"Rory! We're back!" Amy shouted as she walked in to the TARDIS, bags of groceries in both her hands. The Doctor followed behind her, eating a banana and clutching his gigantic bag of groceries, which was stuffed with ten boxes of fish fingers, two tubs of custard, and six bunches of bananas. "I bought some bananas, Rory!" he called out happily, pausing to take a bite of the yellow fruit. "Bananas are good, you know!"

At this, Rory stepped out of his bedroom door, clad in a TARDIS-blue crushed velvet bathrobe and stilettos. His face was powdered and his lips were soaked in dark purple lipstick. He walked down the stairs to the console, suggestively swiveling his hips. When he got to the floor of the console room, he pulled open his bathrobe. Amy and the Doctor dropped their groceries and their jaws. The Doctor's Sonic Screwdriver began acting up as he stared unblinkingly at Rory, as if he were a sexy Weeping Angel. Rory was wearing a leather thong, fishnet stockings, and a feather boa. It was gloriously fabulous.

"Wh-where did you get that outfit, Rory?" asked the Doctor, still stunned and incredibly turned on by Rory's drag queen fantasy.

"I got it from my closet," he said, grinning suggestively at Amy. Amy just stared, unable to truly comprehend the fact her husband was dressed in drag and getting the Doctor incredibly horny in front of her.

"And who gave you this brilliant idea in the first place?" The Doctor went over to Rory and nuzzled his neck.

"My good friend, Billie Joe," said Rory, winking in the direction of his room, where his iHome continued blasting Green Day on repeat.

"That's hot," said the Doctor.