Disclaimer: I do not own the characters or profit from it.

Rating: Will become Mature-

Note: Thank you for joining please read warning before you go any further!

Note 2: The song "Nothing and Everything" by Red inspired this story line in my head. I was watching a video of Buffy/Spike, I miss that show! I watched as the video showed how they hated each other but also loved one another. The back and forth of emotions were so overwhelming that I knew I had to write a story showing Jake/Bella going back and forth. This Jake is not going to be the sappy sweet boy, YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED! Yes, in the beginning he is going to be a jerk but you will understand why!

WARNING: ThereisamentionofBellamiscarrying. Ifyouhavesufferedfromthisrecentlyorinthepastanditbothersyoudon'treadanyfurther!

Chapter One: Broken Sunset

Bella wanted her life to be sane for a change but these days, a cup of coffee that tasted half way decent, was even dreaming too big. Everyone was on her ass about when she would finish her upcoming novel, Broken Sunsets, a book that her editor and publisher, for once agreeing on something, were raving would be a top seller. She hoped they were right. She had spent four years of her life writing, rewriting and so forth to make it the book she always dreamed of.

Being an author was not as easy as she had imagined when she was a young girl reading novels as fast as her little fingers could get a grip on them. She loved reading. She loved escaping into a world where anything was possible. She always found what she needed when she was reading. Rather it was a good old fashion cry fest, a thrilling mystery, a gory nightmarish thrill, or hell even a good old sexy, sweaty, love making fiesta. Books were her life.

Her passion was once frowned on back home in Forks Washington. Her friends often scolded her for spending far too much time with her face between the pages of a novel rather than living her own life. She would often defend her desire to read but on other occasions she would just flip them off as she turned the page pushing her nose further into the book.

She would tell her friends and family that books were not only a cheap source of entertainment but they also taught you many of life's lessons. She was of course her Language Art teachers favorite student each year. She was always ahead of the class when it came to reading lists. She could whip out and complete a book report like it was as easy as preparing a bowl of ice cream. It came naturally to her.

The only other thing that had came naturally to her was Jake Black. The difference between her passion for reading and Jake Black was that he could be a little harder to put away on a shelf when she was done with him. No, Jake, was underneath her veins like the blood that flowed through her. He knew how to piss her off with out any blinking. He knew how to make her heart skip a extra beat which just a smile and most of all he knew that he had this power over her.

Jake was her best friend. Emphasizes on 'was" her best friend. They had not spoken to one another in over four years. She knew the reason he was suddenly popping into her head was due to the trip she had finally agreed to with her current boyfriend, Mason. Mason was very close to his family. He wanted to get to know her family. She found that side of him a bit annoying. She just wished he would let the discussion of meeting each others parents go but no, Mason, could not be stopped. He loved her. She had no doubts about that. His parents loved her too. She had no doubts about that either.

What Mason did not understand, due to the fact she had not spoken to him about it yet, was that her parents would hate Mason. Not because there was any one thing to hate about him but just based on the fact he was not Jake.

Her father had practically help raised Jake. So in his eyes he was already his son. When Jake and Bella's friendly friendship began to show signs of a more deeper and physical friendship, her father was more excited than she was about the change in their status. He kept going on and on about how great they would be as a couple. He even paid for several of their first dates. Bella wanted to refused to go out with Jake just because her father was so damn persistent about it. Her mother would remind her father that girls often rebelled when their parents liked the "boyfriend" and went out with the guy they hated just because they could. So eventually her father backed off of the "Jake Fan Club" and allowed them to follow their path on their own.

Of course Bella had fallen hook, line, and sinker for Jake's charming smile, his muscular body, and let's not forget his crazy nature. Jake was like a ball of sunshine. He could light up a room with just a casual smile. He was compassionate, he was friendly, and most of all he was down right fun to be around. On the scale of one to ten Jake was over the scale when it came to perfect boyfriends.

However as Bella grew up she began to realize that she had a future ahead of her. A future that existed outside of Forks. She was informed by her counselor and her teachers that she could get a scholarship from just about any school she desired. She had the grades, she had the talent, and above all she had the passion for learning that even Ivy schools would desire in an applicant.

When those ideas were placed into her mind she realized that maybe she should consider life outside of the familiar and safe location that she had grown up in her entire life. There was no many possibilities. Why shouldn't she have a chance to go out and explore the world? She would always find herself considering all the reasons she should but only one always remained that held her back.


Jake was content to stay around their community. He had everything he desired here. He had his family, his friends, and of course his on the side career of preparing vehicles for Old Man Luke. Bella was happy that this was the path he had chosen for himself but it was not her path. When she spoke of her dreams or fantasies of leaving home he would always change the subject or argue with her that there was nothing wrong with the life they had here.

Eventually she no longer shared her dreams with him. She saw that it only made him frustrated and moody.

Then Edward and Alice Cullen arrived in town. Their parents had decided to retire in the community after their children graduated. They had practically been raised all over the world. Bella envied them. She envied how much culture that had been showered upon them. It was not hard to notice how more mature they were compared to the local kids.

Bella and Alice got teamed up one day for a science project that led into the early stages of a friendship. Alice was nice. She was sweet as well. She was everything Bella could want in a girlfriend. They shared their dreams of exploring the world on their own. Alice agreed with Bella that Forks was a nice enough place to raise a family but she would comment that first Bella should live a little before getting married and settling down like a old person.

Jake quickly made his feelings for Alice crystal clear to Bella. He hated her. He thought she was a little tiny hyper speed bump who thought she was too smart for her own britches. Bella would argue with him that she was different but Bella liked different.

Jake stopped coming around when Alice as over, so when Bella was in a mood with Jake she would purposely invite Alice over. She knew it was dirty of her but hey if it worked she was not about to stop it.

Things quickly began to change when their Senior year began. Everything and everyone seem to be drifting in different directions. Jake won the championship game for their football team. Jessica made homecoming queen. It was not a surprise to Bella that Jake made prom king while she of course sat off in a corner wishing she could be at home reading a book or on the internet searching for a exotic trip that someday she might be able to take.

When she received word that she had gotten into every college she had applied for she was seriously amazed and frightened. She did not know what to do. She was frantic. She was hysterically happy. She knew that her parents would be in the same corner as Jake about disliking her leaving home for four years so she went to the Cullen's household to sit and contemplate on which school was best suited for a person like her.

Esme and Carlisle were truly helpful with going over all the applications and explaining in great details what she should look for if her desire was to become a writer. After several weeks of steady reading each pamphlet that had been sent to her she had decided on a school. She knew the hard part would be telling her parents and Jake what her plans were for her future.

What she had not planned on was Jake taking her out that weekend on a surprise camping trip with the gang. They were in a cabin up in the mountains with out phones or televisions. It was a bit strange to be so far away from the technical world but it was also soothing to her nerves. She thought it would give her more time to slowly break the news to Jake before she broke the news to her parents.

The first night she had passed out early on everyone and woke up to a warm Jake crawling up in the bed with her. She had not expected him to want to make this night their first "night" as lovers. She was not prepared for it and unfortunately neither was he. When he continued to press the matter she found herself considering that once she told Jake she was leaving in less than a month to a destination far away from him he would no doubt break up with her.

So like an idiot she agreed to let that night be their first night. The sex was great. In fact after the few minutes of pain she found the rest of it quite exciting. It was far better than the stuff in the books she had read over the years. She could not keep her hands off of Jake. The next day when ever no one was around or far enough away they would sneak off to do it again, again, and again. She had been so into the physical contact that she let her brain stop functioning and realize that neither of them were using protection. Jake had used the "pull out" form to hopefully prevent a pregnancy from happening.

When they return to Forks Bella sat out in the pick up truck with Jake and let it all spill out. That she truly loved him and wanted a future with him but first she needed to find herself and experience her own dreams with out him in it. He was furious, she expected he would be, but what she did not expect was when he opened the door and told her to get out and stay out. He was tired of feeling like he was not enough for her.

Bella watched as he sped out of the driveway never looking back at her. She went to her room crying her heart out until her mother came up the stairs and they talked for hours. Bella spilled out everything. She knew her mother was shocked but she remained silent letting Bella go on and on. Once she was done her mother had smiled sweetly at her and told her that she would support her no matter what she chose to do. Her father however the next morning was screaming at the top of his lungs. He felt betrayed by her. It was ridiculous. Bella stormed out of the house angry as hell.

For the rest of the month she did not speak one word to him. She remained in her room when she was home. She packed up her things preparing for a once in a lifetime experience until she began to get so sick that her mother forced her to see the doctor before she could leave on her trip.

Everything came crumbling down around her that day. All her dreams began to float away on a dark cloud. She wept for what felt like hours before they made it home. She refused to speak to her father about the pregnancy. She knew he would just be delighted as hell that she was now pregnant by Jake Black and had no other choice but to remain in Forks to raise her child.

When Jake showed up two days later with flowers in his hand, requesting they sit out on the porch she was not surprised by him sliding to one knee and proposing marriage. In fact she wanted to slap his smug face so hard. She looked at him exposing him to all the hate and hurt she felt inside. She watched as he took a few steps back from her before she threw the flowers down at his feet and shouted at him.

"Whatever Jake! Whatever YOU want." Bella stormed into the house and back into her room.

She received a call that day from Alice and Edward wondering if she was still flying with them the following day. She had to embarrassingly explain that she was no longer able to go anywhere due to an unwanted pregnancy and a fiancée who would never let her do anything she desired for the rest of her life. Both had been shocked and continue to encourage to never give up on her dreams.

When her parents began to talk about a big church wedding Bella found her balls to laugh at the both of them. She informed them that if she was forced to marry Jake Black then they would go the courthouse and share their vows. She did not want the whole town to witness her shame. Of course this only caused her father to grow furious and the usual shouting began. Bella stood firm on it.

Two days later she stood next to Jake at the courthouse wearing a simple white dress with a white bouquet of flowers as she exchanged vows with the father of her baby. She wept during most of the ceremony. She cried for everything she was giving up in order to make everyone else around her happy. Jake had rented them a room at the local hotel. Bella went with him only because she knew everyone was watching her reaction. When they got inside the stinky, small, moldy room she informed him that sex was not an option for them anymore. Jake tried to be patient with her and explain how he really did not want them getting married like this. He had a different dream of their wedding day.

Bella reminded him she had a different dream but his selfishness had cost her everything that truly mattered. Jake had looked as if she had just hit him over the head with his pick up truck. He left the room with his head low.

Bella woke up alone the next day. She had no idea where he spent his wedding night and honestly did not care. She was being an ass and she knew it. She went home to find her parents packing up her belongings. She had been astonished to learn they expected her to live with Jake out in LaPush in his father's home. She begged her mother to let her stay there with them but Renee insisted that a couple needed to be alone. She also informed Bella that Billy was moving into her room so that they could share the small cottage as a couple.

Bella kicked and screamed the entire trip over to her residence. Jake came home every day for a week to talk to her and try to persuade her into seeing how lucky they were to have each other and a home for their baby. Bella had remained sullen. On the sixth day of their married life she woke up feeling awful. Slipping out of the bed she went to the bathroom to discover she was bleeding. Jake woke up when he heard her cry out in pain.

He drove her to the hospital. Staying by her side the entire time. They were soon informed the baby was lost to them both. Bella wasn't sure how she felt about this news. She laid there quietly for an entire day. Everyone took it as her way of mourning. She was sad. She was sad that a life had died and wondered if her anger and disappointment had somehow killed her unborn child. She felt awful. She knew that Jake was seriously angry with her as well. She had disappointed him. He was thrilled at the thought of having a son or daughter even if he was only eighteen years old.

Once she was well enough to move around the house she found herself calling Alice. She told her best friend what had happened. Alice listened to her and then suggested that she make the best of it. Bella refused to stayed in LaPush. She refused to believe that she could not become the person she wanted to be.

When Jake came home drunk off of his ass, she quickly took the opportunity to nag him hard. The fight started out simple enough and then to both of their surprise it grew to a physical place that neither of them had intended. Bella had smack Jake so hard in the head when he began to shout out nasty offensive things toward her about how she was thrilled that they no longer had a child. Jake shoved her against the wall in return. Both of them stood there panting, out of breathe, as they stared at one another in disbelief.

What had happened to the friends who once shared everything with one another? What had happened to the couple who use to giggle, ride bikes together, and come up with funny nicknames to annoy their friends? When had they grown so far apart that what once was so sweet, tender, and innocent was now raw, angry, and shadowed in hate.

The following day Bella woke up from the sofa, seeing Jake had already left for work, and began to move slowly around the house. She felt like she was almost daydreaming as she began to pack up enough things to fit in two suitcases and walked down to LaPush's bus station. She bought a one way ticket to the airport. Once she was at her location she made a call to Alice who spoke to the airline worker and gave her the information needed to purchase Bella a ticket to New York. A few hours later Bella was standing in front of her friend far away from her home, her family, and her husband.

Bella pulled herself out of her reverie as she smelled a fresh cup of coffee served in front of her. She smiled at the waitress but could not help but wonder what she would do now that she had finished school, her book was almost complete, she had a wonderful boyfriend, a great apartment, so now what? What was she going to do with the rest of her life?

Mason seemed to pop out of thin air at that moment as he pulled out the chair in front of her. Bella lifted her head staring into the bright blue eyes of the guy who had won her heart with one of his notorious poems. He knew how to use the pen to persuade the more intelligent ladies into his bed. She still felt so lucky to have won his attention out of all the ladies who were attending his small soirée that night. Okay, maybe it wasn't just luck, after all Alice had known Mason for sometime. She had helped introduced them. In fact she had been the one who had encouraged Bella to attend the event.

"So what has my buttercup so sullen today?" Mason ask curiously as he reached out stroking the back of her hand with his finger.

Bella's frown slowly curled up into a soft smile. Mason's touch always left her wanting more.

"I hate going home." Bella decided to be honest and lay it out on the table.

"Why?" Mason frowned as he pinched the tip of his nose.

"My family…well…they did not exactly encourage my dreams or my path. I have not spoken to them Mason in four and half years." Bella answered as she sipped on the coffee. She felt some joy in the fact that this cup of coffee tasted much better than she had dared to hope for.

"Honey, families forgive us. I'm sure that your parents will be overcome with joy to see their wayward daughter return to their bosom." Mason cock an eye brow as he smiled warmly at her.

Bella chuckled. Only Mason would use the word bosom.

"I don't think so. You see I sent them word where I was. No one has called me or wrote to me." Bella gulped hard as the pain of being rejected by her own flesh and blood still hurt like hell.

"Well, hell to them. We can get a room and you can show me the town. I just want to know where you come from Bella. I want to know what made Bella Swan the woman she is today." Mason replied as he took her hands into his holding them tightly across the table.

"Trust me, nothing there will impress you much." Bella rolled her eyes.

"Funny, because you impress the hell out of me." Mason kissed the tops of her knuckles on both hands before releasing them.

"I want you to keep that impression of me. If we go to Forks you might not look at me like that anymore. I don't want you to be disappointed. I've already disappointed enough people." Bella chewed on the corner her of lip as she recalled how she had walked out on Jake with out a chance to discuss her decision. She had simply left him a letter and her ring.

"Bella, how can you become the excellent writer you were destine to be with out facing the very things that gave life to that imagination of yours?" Mason chuckled softly as he raised his hand at the waitress so he could get his own cup of coffee.

"Whatever Mason, whatever." Bella sighed as she caved in. She found herself recalling how Jake use to do the same thing that Mason was doing now. Both men knew how to sugar coat things so she would relent and believe that what they were doing was truly the best for her.

"Love you Bella." Mason blew her a kiss as the waitress came up with a seductive smile on her face.

Bella rolled her eyes sarcastically. Nothing changed she thought to herself. Not in her love life anyways. Not in the choice of men she seem to be doomed to choose for out the rest of her life. No matter how educated they were they still seem to carry the same attitude.

"Mason, could we just please skip this trip?" Bella made one final plead.

Mason sipped on the beverage he had just received, staring hard at Bella. Moments passed before he finally answered her.

"How can I propose to you if I don't get your father's permission first?" Mason replied with a gentle tone that nearly as soft as a feather to Bella's ears.

"What?" Bella gulped hard as her stomach literally began to drop like when you ride a roller coaster and you go down that first dive.

"Darling, you knew it was only a matter of time. I love you, you love me, we are compatible, we are wonderful together. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Or as long as you want me." Mason shrugged his shoulders as his eyes sparkled.

"You ruined my surprise. I was going to speak to your father first and then take you to your favorite place and propose more romantically at that time." Mason cluck his tongue as he shook his head, his lips displayed a smile that let her know that he was disappointed in how the actual event was taking place.

"Mason…I…well…I'm not sure…" Bella sat frozen in her seat, slowly closing her eyes she pressed them tightly together and wondered if she could start this day over? Why was he ruining this relationship between them? Marriage? Why now? They had just spent their one year anniversary together on a trip to Fugi, that he insisted was a gift to her.

"That is now the way I imagined you responding." Mason choked slightly as he sat up in his chair, his eyes narrowing, his lips curled into a smile that broke Bella's heart.

"I'm sorry Mason. I really am. I just…well…marriage isn't my thing." Bella explained as she ran her hands through her hair trying to figure out quickly how to salvage what was left of this relationship.

"How would you know until you give it a shot?" Mason rolled his eyes.

"Trust me." Bella was not about to reveal to him how she had already experienced a week of marriage and was relieved that it had been annulled and she no longer attached to one man for the rest of her life.

"Look, lets go on this trip and when we return if you still feel that strongly about it then we will wait further down the line until you are more accepting of my proposal." He suggested as he reached out and held her hand in his.

Bella could not find any reason to argue with that suggestion. Although deep down she already knew nothing would change her mind about getting married. She was not the marrying type. She liked being with someone, she just did not want to ever feel like they owned her. She wanted her wings. She wanted to spread them and fly off to where ever her heart desire with out ever having to receive permission from anyone.

"Fine." Bella agreed as she returned his smile.