Note: Written for YJ_anon_meme on LJ; post is close to exactly like it.
Disclaimer: I don't own YJ.
In Which Robins Nest
"IT'S NOT FAIR."
Dick rolled his eyes, pulling a gauntlet over his arm. He looked around vividly, blinking in surprise before—before Oh, wait for it…
"Jason! Did you take my mask?" A harsh tug on his cape made the eldest Batsibling look down. He smiled cheerily, falling to his knees until he was at eye-level with the other person. Tiny hands massaged his face, and he closed his eyes until the undeniable thickness of his mask was pressed to his nose.
"Found it," Tim whispered softly. "Will you be gone all weekend?"
"Yup. Sorry, little bro." He cracked a grin, sympathetic to the little eight-year-old.
Tim's eyebrows knit together and like any eight-year-old he looked to the ground, truly devastated. "Can I come?"
"If I let you come, then Jason will complain and then he'll hijack the Batmobile, and then Stephanie will hitchhike with them, and since Cass can't read bedtime stories, she'll have to come too, and then they'll forget that Damian is in his nursery, asleep in his pile of knives and have to come back, and then Jason will yell and throw a fit and probably crash the car." Dick shrugged. "Batmobile doesn't have good insurance. It's one thing StateFarm won't actually cover."
Blue eyes widened parallel to him before pressing closed. Tim's bottom lip jutted outward and he shuffled between his feet. "You speak too vividly."
"Nah, you're just a little blind from having to stare at the blinding colors of our uniforms. Eh, let's not get into semantics. You know that word? 'course you do, little bro, you found my thesaurictionary." Dick grinned cheekily, tilting slightly to move before he had to halt. Tim's hand remained fisted into his cape.
"Take me with you?" Tim whispered again, eyes the size of Batman's fists. And oddly enough, Dick was thinking it was kind of cute, so he might have needed admission to Arkham Asylum, since obviously, Batman's fists weren't really cute. Sorta. Eh, semantics. "Damian hits hard."
Oh. Well, that was no good. "Damian's a baby—he doesn't know any better."
Apparently that was the wrong thing to say. Then again, Dick wasn't very good when handling children—he was only fourteen. Tim pulled up the sleeve of his large red sweatshirt (something that look suspiciously like it came from Dick's own closet) and showed a bruise on his arm. "He hit me with a dagger!"
"Only the hilt? Oh, he's getting better at being loving. I mean—" If it was one thing his favorite little brother was perfect at, it was the Batglare. Dick offered another grin, quickly checking his watch. Wally was bound to be getting restless. "He hits hard."
"ARE YOU TAKING HIM WITH YOU?" They both cringed, shoulders hunching as without a doubt Jason skid down the stairs, suspiciously with another of Dick's red hoodies dressed over him. He tripped over the banister and quickly saved himself with a close-to-acrobatic grace. Steph and Cass rested up top, pointed looks between both of them. Jason growled. "Not. Fair."
Tim clung tighter to Dick's form. Instinctively Dick couldn't help hoist the little boy in his arms and grip him tightly. "Not taking him."
"Why are you the only one who gets to go out? Why is it that Batman is the only one who gets to go out, too?" Oh, great. Jason was throwing another fit. "I want to go out!"
"Not until you hit puberty." Heheh. Dick grinned at his own joke. "You're only eleven."
"But you and Wally have going out since you were thirteen! And you two fool ar—mmphhgghhh!"
"No we don't. Hahaha." Dick put a hand over Jason's face, jiggling one brother in his arms and the other by his fingers. Turning his head for a final time, he kissed Tim cheerfully on the cheek, then moved to do the same for Jason.
"Yech!" Jason pushed away aggressively with a horrified scowl. "Cock cooties!"
"Dick, Jason said a bad word!" Tim tugged on his cape. Oh, sigh.
Dick stuck his tongue out before allowing his second youngest to slide down his body and moved to hug Stephanie. Then came Cassandra and Damian. He held his arms out.
"Do I get a kiss goodbye from my baby brother?" Dick pointed to his cheek and stared at the toddler with a giggle.
Needless to say, Damian chucked Mr. PotatoBatman at his head. Oh well. At least it was progress.
Just like he suspected, Wally was hanging around some residential area, far, far away from the Batcave. Not that Dick would have ever let him. Jay and Barry may have been crazy, but an entire Batfamily wasn't exactly what Dick would say Wally was…emotionally prepared for. The redhead tapped his foot repeatedly on the sidewalk and Dick-kinda-sorta wanted to see whether or not the ground was going to shake under him.
"What took so long?" Wally threw his arms in the air with a groan. "You're so slow."
"Batcave was full. Training. Had to make sure no one killed anyone." Like he said, though. Damian was getting better. Dick cracked a grin, punching Wally in the arm while without query, the speedster hoisted him in the air. "Had to do role call and keep the siblings in check."
"There are more of you?" One of Kid Flash's eyes bugged out larger than the other. He snorted, maneuvering one hand and struggling to pull his goggles over his eyes. Dick did it for him. "Believe me, one of you is scary enough. Don't they know? It's one speedster to bat."
"There's no Batman before the Justice League, dork."
"Hawkman counts. Sorta." Wally cracked a grin that took most of his space, then upped their speed. "So do I get to meet them anytime soon?"
"Hah." Robin tossed his head back and bellowed. "The team. Meeting my little brothers and sisters. That'll be the day."
"Dick said not to touch the computer while he's gone." Tim looked up weakly from his little corner, idling near a shelf of books and hesitantly looking toward his second-oldest brother.
Jason rolled his eyes dramatically. His feet dangled in the leather chair and he assumed it was a sign they weren't going to talk. "Dick isn't even supposed to use the super computer while Bruce is gone. Doing Justice League stuff or whatever. Dick's a dick."
"No, his name's Dick."
"No, he is a Dick."
"But…" Tim's eyebrows furrowed and he stopped mid-way turning the page in his book. Cassandra was jibing him in the arm and Damian was stabbing a fork repeatedly at the binding. "But then that makes it a bad word."
"Whatever. Hey," Jason turned fully in the chair, hand strengthening so he didn't fall out.
"Hack this for me."
"But we're not supposed to—"
"I'll tell Dick you're using his name the wrong way!" Jason puffed his chest and suddenly pouted. Then he did that thing like the really bad show Dick wouldn't let Tim watch with the boy in the orange parka, who died all the time. He pulled the hood over his eyes and didn't look the least bit happy.
"But…I didn't," Tim struggled for words. Damian was digging his child-safe fork into his flesh now. "I didn't use it as a bad word."
"Yeah, but one of us did, and I'm blaming you!" Jason jumped to his feet with as much authority any eleven-year-old boy could have. He jabbed a hand demandingly to the computer and held his head high. "Hack the system and tell us where Dick is!"
"We're out of milk!" Stephanie scaled down the stairs with an empty carton in one hand and a plate of cookies in the other. She sauntered over to their little group just as Cassandra was about to teeter to their sister, and held it out with a pout. "And Damian's teething. We need to buy milk."
"We need to find Dick! It isn't fair that we're always stuck here and he gets to go out and do whatever he wants!" Jason glowered at all of them. Luckily by now they were all just used to his haughty temper tantrums. "And I'm telling Robin that you called him a bad word!"
Tim's eyebrows furrowed troublesomely. "But I di—"
"He doesn't know that!"
Knowing he wouldn't win in this argument, Tim had no choice but to close the book. Cassandra pouted, Damian reached over from his highchair to reach it, and Tim crawled over to the computer, perplexed as he entered the seven-digit passcode. "We're only gonna see where he is, rig—"
"Sweet!" Jason leaped from the chair with a happy grin and scurried toward the Batmobile. "Let's follow them!"
Steph jiggled the carton in her hands. "Can we buy milk along the way?"
"…which is why it's semantics." Wally smiled cheerfully, body sprawled across the loveseat with his chest hugging the couch cushions. A hand rested on his ankle—not so much as doing anything, but Dick wasn't exactly one for PDA. Er, yet. He thought. Or did this count as PDA?
Megan stood in front of them, eyes wide as she slowly nodded. Artemis nudged her in the arm with a reassuring smile and stood to her feet. "Come on, Miss M. Let's go make cookies."
Fortunately that seemed like something Megan understood. She smiled happily, taking flight in the air and fluttered a few feet away into the kitchen.
"What got us on the topic of semantics again?" While not as flexible as Robby, he could still twist his spine. Wally arched a playful eyebrow, looking up and—damn, Dick still wasn't stroking his ankle.
Rob stared at him from a moment through shaded eyes, smirking, and shrugged. "Dunno. Started talking to Timmy about semantics before Jason ran down the stairs throwing a fit. Then…well, I wonder. Alfred went grocery shopping but I don't think we ever told him to buy milk."
"Yeah. Yeah. Alfred. Jason. Sir, Tim, yup." Wally smirked, readjusting himself before pulling Robin right next to him. "Semantics, Wonder
Boy. Do you even know any examples or do you just spout words when you can?"
Rob punched him in the shoulder, then paused. "Well, maybe a little bit of both."
"Well, do you know any examples?"
"Dude, I'm still laughing over the fact our human Dick-tionary doesn't know what the hell semantics are!" Wally tossed his head behind him, hands clutching his stomach as giggles left his throat, then turned them so they faced each other. "It's like—it's like, when awful used to mean, full of awe instead of crap, or how deer used to mean just wild animal besides, well. You know. Deer."
"Ah, no biggie." Robin fell silent, mounted like a little birdie at the edge of the couch cushions. "So like, how you might love pie."
"Sure." No, not at all. Wally waved his hand around dismissively and flexed for the tv remote. No avail. "And there's no doubt about it. I love pie. Apple pie's my favorite."
Before he had the chance to retaliate, Robin had a swift grip on his hand, eyes—or, sunglasses, at least—locked directly on him. "And how there's a difference between pie."
"Nope, still love apple pie." He shrugged.
"No. If you said, 'I love pie', then I would assume that you love pie. But people used to assume," Robin said carefully, "That when you said 'I love pie,' it normally meant…I'm in love with pie."
Wally blinked and arched an eyebrow. "Okay. So you're in love with pie. What kind? Told you, I'm in love with apple pie."
"Wally." Robin pressed a hand to his face and was probably rolling his eyes. "I'm in love with—"
"What was that?" Whatevery freaky-deaky weird personality change Robin just had disappeared. He vanished from his perch, jumping into the air with a frown before landing on his feet. Wally was quick to join him.
"I'll scour ahead," he said, looking over his shoulder to Megan and Artemis, who quickly whipped out her crossbow. He upped his sprint, quickly passing both Aqualad and Superboy at the platform and skid toward the entrance. Fortunately they followed through just as easily. Wally halted, doing a double check that he was totally not prepared for. "Is that the…Batmobile?"
Well, it kinda screamed dananananana, er, Wally hoped, after all the Adam West movies he'd seen growing up. What he didn't expect while looking at the smoke were four—whop, five little kids scurrying about trying to put the fire out. Most little kids cried. They were kinda, um. Doing procedure or something.
"Omigod." Dick was right next to him.
Aqualad quickly dispelled the fire with his waterbearers, but that didn't seem to make it any better. One of them—the tallest kid started yelling at the top of his lungs to the three seven or eight-year-olds standing there looking guilty. Or not. They looked kind of annoyed.
"Is Damian okay?" And…well, Dick apparently knew them. He quickly hobbled out of their crowd of teenagers and kinda blended in with all the black-hair-blue-eyes. "What about Cass? Steph, Tim?"
The tallest dropped his jaw like a temper tantrum. Oh, yikes. "And you don't care that I might be injured?"
"Right. You okay?"
"Well duh! OF COURSE I AM!"
Wally decided to play supportive boyfriend and sprint in the middle. It was kind of hard, considering Dick really blended well with the rest of his siblings. Were they all related? He'd have to ask later. The only one he could actually tell apart from the others was the little blond girl who tugged on his arm.
She stared at him with big blue eyes and a cheerful smile, fingers tangling with his before she held up an empty milk carton. "Do you have any milk?"
"Hm, looks like we did forget to tell Alfred to buy milk." Robin thoughtfully rubbed his chin, and this time moved toward the other little girl, hands gesturing to the chubby baby in her arms. That girl paused, staring at Rob with wide eyes before holding the baby out. Robin. With children. Oh God, they had kids. "Hey Damian! Oh, you're all covered with oil, we should probably give you a bath."
"Dude, you're not…" Wally arched an eyebrow—he was sure it disappeared behind his hairline. "You're not mad at them?"
"Well, we can…" Robin paused, then shrugged. "I was spouting my love for pie. Like I said, Damian needs an—ow."
"Is that Mr. PotatoBatman?" The other boy—who looked no older than eleven or twelve, stood at the tip of his toes and then grinned. "He totally just stabbed you with Mr. PotatoBatman's batarang!"
"They make a Mr. PotatoBatman?" Wally arched an eyebrow.
"Well, at least it's not a real Batarang." His best friend's hand twitched, and he shifted the little toddler in his hands before turning his head to the entrance where the rest of their team stood. "Alright, guys. These are my little brothers and sisters. Jason—the annoying one, Damian—the violent one, Steph—the silly one, and Cassandra the quiet one."
Damian jabbed another Mr. PotatoBatman accessory into Robin's hand. Wally would have bet money that it was bleeding. And somehow, the little toddler was just clapping his hands with glee, screaming at the top his lungs, "GAY-SON, GAY-SON!"
"God We need to give you a bath—I think the oil's sinking in." Robin seethed, and one-by-one-completely unfazed the little Batlings followed after Dick like ducklings as he entered the mountain, telling the computer rather calmly that although they were dead meat, his siblings were most definitely not intruders.
Which left one sibling. Wally turned his head when he felt his leg nearly knock something over, and his eyes fell to the ground where—oh crap. "Did you get hurt by the fire?"
Another Batsibling. God, was it weird that they all looked the same? Batman must have never left his bed or something because they all definitely had those bright blue eyes thing going on. This little guy, however, looked like he was ready to cry.
Wally fell to the ground at eye-level, frowning. "You okay?"
"He didn't call my name out." A hand fisted into the tail of Wally's shirt, tight and harsh. Wally made a gesture for him to let go, but uh—the little guy kinda had a grip. "He didn't call my name out because I was the one who put the passcode in even though Jason wasn't s'pose to know it."
"Aw, I'm sure that's not the reason why." Wally made a move to grip the boy against his shoulder, then tried to run through the list of names Dick talked about all the time. "Plus, the little one was pretty much drenched in grease and what not. Are you Timmy?"
Tim looked up with large blue eyes. They were darker than his Rob's, but light enough to tell they were related. He nodded slowly. "How'd you know?"
"Dick talks about you a lot. We just got into a conversation about semantics because of you. And…" Wally looked up to the sky like it had all the answers. "And pie."
"I…" An abashed blush spread across the little boy's cheeks, timid and hesitant while Wally decided to move them into the mountain. "I like apple pie."
"Me too." Wally grinned. "Hehe. For some reason, your brother's in love with it or something."
"Semantics," Tim chirped quietly under his breath.
"Er, sure." Maybe it was a Bat Thing to understand the little words. Or a Robin thing. Wally scratched his head. "Semantics."
It took three batarangs, two different sets of handcuffs, and Superboy's impenetrable skin to keep Damian Wayne from grabbing the nearest weapon (Johnson's Baby Shampoo, Superboy's razor, Megan's special bath beads and something that looked suspiciously like a loofa with a lightning bolt on it) and killing Dick before he had the chance to strip the boy down to his birthday suit. Fortunately he was bigger, but for some Godforsaken reason, Damian now had an attachment to their big-little Kryptonian.
Superboy wasn't opposed to the attention, either, apparently. Damian had found more of Mr. PotatoBatman's accessories, which were unusually sharp compared to what you would find in a box, and was fascinated with prodding super skin. Or frustrated, seeing as he wasn't able to wound the guy.
"He's one-and-a-half," Dick explained casually after stealing the yellow loofa from the shower rack. He began scrubbing Damian's bum, but the moment the silky material made contact with the toddler's bare bottom, Damian grabbed his hand and initiated procedure to crack Dick's hand in seven different joints. Sweet and dorky, Dick definitely was. Stupid enough not to wear a thick gauntlet whenever bathing Damian was just sad. He waved his free hand around and began making the, He's crazy sign next to his ear.
"So we're approximately the same age?" Superboy hadn't taken his eyes off Dick's little brother since they got there. Damian proceeded with forming a tiny fist, screaming at the top of his lungs and scowling tremendously at Dick's affection.
"He's actually related to Bru—er, Batman, too." Dick grinned, stealing a kiss from Damian's forehead before regrasping the loofa. Damian let out a remarkable shriek and clutched his nose while the current Robin nasally continued, "But was trained to be an assassin. A human weapon."
Hilariously enough, Superboy's eyes widened, soft and sympathetic while Damian's entire face burned with red—from either fury or embarrassment; Dick kinda just ran the two emotions together—and he lowered his gaze.
"We…have so much in common."
"Feel free to take him off my hands." Dick slid the gauntlet off his hand, lightly bit Damian's hand to loosen the grip (the poor toddler stared at him with huge blue eyes, either stunned or impressed by the light aggression) before pulling away with a smile. "Batman's still doing business for the League. Alfred probably assumes Big Brother Robin just took his siblings out for training."
Superboy looked up to him, thoughtful expression coming to his demeanor. "You're not angry that they're here?"
Oh, very. He was finally going to tell Wally that he lo—"Eh." Dick shrugged and grinned. "Let's say…when it comes to my family…well. They just kinda keep you guessing."
"Can I keep him?" Superboy smiled cheerfully.
"Well. Con, he isn't a pet—sure." That made the shorter teenager grin, hands on his hips like the proud brother he was. "If you…if you feed him, change his diaper, and make sure he doesn't break anyone's bones while we're at the base for the weekend, then uh. You can keep him. Scrub his butt for me, will you? He's a pooper."
Conner's eyes warmed and he reached for the appalling yellow loofa.
Robin flashed a grin before turning his foot and exiting the bathroom. He was met by a flurry of blond hair, nearly tackled to the ground as Stephanie hovered over him with a large carton between his fingers.
She beamed proudly, carton in her left and grappling gun in the right. "I found the milk! And I got it! From the top shelf! All by myself! And, and, it isn't spoiled!"
"But you're stealing it from my friends, Steph." Dick resisted the urge to contemplatively tap his chin. "Stealing is bad."
Steph's eyes fell, downcast and solemn as she shuffled her feet to the ground. "Oh."
Aw. "Well. Give it to Wally and then steal it from him. That way it doesn't count as stealing."
"Wally's here?" The big, hopeful gleam reappeared in Stephanie's eyes and she bounced up and down as she climbed Dick's body like the rest of his siblings—save Damian—did all the time. "Which one is he, which one is he? Is he pretty?"
Ri-ight. In all the commotion, he actually forgot to introduce the team to his siblings. Dick pulled Stephanie close to his waist and pulled out a handkerchief, careful to wipe her mouth free of crumbs that looked suspiciously like cookies. His ears stung pink. "Wally's very pretty. He's the one with red hair."
"The one with Jason, or the one with Tim?" Stephanie jiggled the milk carton in her hand.
"Steph, you'll spoil the milk carton if you keep doing it."
"I'm a spoiler?" Stephanie beamed and giggled. "I'm a spoiler!"
"Sure," Dick grinned. Suddenly an arrow whizzed past his ear, and before he even bothered telling Stephanie to cover, they instinctively crouched and dodged the arrows, batarangs ready in each hand.
"Can you teach me how to do that? Dick, can she teach me how to do that?" Stephanie eagerly jumped from his grasp and smoothly climbed a blinking Artemis's arms before the other blond had a chance of protest. The wicked gleam appeared in her eyes. "I'm a spoiler!"
"Can you watch her for me?" Dick tried not to sound whiny—it was kind of cute, but he was also a bit concerned Stephanie was comparing herself to a carton of milk.
Artemis nodded slowly, bemused and amused by the apparent circumstances as she rested the crossbow over her shoulder. "Did all of you get special training?"
"For one reason or another." Dick shrugged, deciding best not to get into details. He smiled as Stephanie gripped Artemis with her legs and fiddled with the carton. The sibs were certainly getting flexible. "They were actually supposed to be training. Can you spar with her?"
Then Artemis looked appalled. "You want me to spar. With a seven-year-old girl."
"Nine, actually!" Steph held one of her toothy grins. Oh—that was right, she lost her last baby tooth last week. Dick needed to find his toothfairy outfit. "And I could totally kick your butt!"
"Is that a challenge?" Artemis lowered her eyes, eyebrow arched with a sliver of amusement.
"Nope!" The smaller blond's lips twisted into a sly, Artemis-like smirk and jiggled the spoiled milk between her fingers. "That's a confirmation."
"Sparring." The taller of the two lifted her head, lazing a hand in Robin's general vicinity before twisting in the direction of one of the training rooms. "Keep her busy. Got it."
"Make sure you don't hurt her too much!" Though Robin couldn't tell which one he was talking to. Taking one last peak into the bedroom, he saw Damian perched condescendingly in a highchair with a knife in his hand, Superboy staring at him with the same fascination as the baby repeatedly jabbed the clone with safety scissors. He trekked down the hall when—"Oh, Cass!"
Aqualad tore his attention away from the aquarium, eyes curious, before he gently smiled. "I found her huddled up in a corner."
On cue, Cassandra tore away from her position on Kaldur's shoulder and scuttled agilely to Dick's side. She hugged his leg tightly. Kaldur looked sad. Oh, hello red blush.
"She's—" Not very good at talking? Kind of talked with her knives—which is probably why Damian deemed her the favorite? Dick shrugged, falling to his knees as Cass backed away, stiff and analyzing. She stared at him, mouth nearly sewn shut and cheeks brimming with pink. "She's shy."
"Ah." Kaldur nodded slowly and understandingly before falling to one knee in a similar pose, arms out. "I apologize, little one."
Cass inched closer to Dick out of instinct, hand flying into—nothing. Whoops. Dick nudged her forward gently with a small smile. "You see that?" He said articulately, though not patronizingly. Robin held out his arms the same way Kaldur had his, and instantaneously she filled into his arms, nose buried in his neck. He didn't miss the glint in her eyes as they casually observed Kaldur's body language.
"Watch her for me? Oh—hey, that tickles." Dick fidgeted as Cass shook her head in his neck. "Read her a book. She likes books."
At that suggestion, Kaldur nodded sagely with a small smile. Dick had to pry her out of his arms and stick her in a bean bag chair—then disappear at Robinspeed to get her off his tracks.
Jason was in the kitchen with Miss Martian doing—
"Now, say, 'may I please have a cookie."
"May I…May I…this is stupid!"
"Then you don't get a cookie." Megan smiled sheepishly, the tips of her fingers at her chin as she desperately tried not to laugh. She levitated the tray of cookies over the counter and toward the couch where the tv was currently tuned to Law&Order. Dick looked from the tip of his toes to find Tim cuddled comfortably on Wally's lap, fingers wrapped around a french-fry. "Tim, would you like a cookie?"
Tim looked up, hesitation visible for the french-fry alone (after all, Robins weren't exactly known for carbo-loading) before making eye-contact with his big brother's boyfriend. Jason blew up with exasperation. "Tim! It's always Tim, Tim, Tim!"
"Like from the Brady Bunch?" Megan grinned.
Jason waved a hand in the air. "Sure, like the Brady Bunch. TIM IF YOU TAKE THAT COOKIE I'M GOING TO TELL ON YOU."
"Tell on him for what?" Dick looked back to his second-youngest brother with concern and made a mental note to give Jason a very large sleeping pill. Or at least, check the stability of the mountain. Really, that voice was going to be the cause of a deadly avalanche.
Tim's face twisted, frown on his lips before he looked down with shame.
Dick turned craned his neck back to Megan and then Jason, who was still throwing a fit about the cookies. "Can you start dinner? Jason, help her."
"No! Cooking's for girls!!" Jason flitted with a batarang between his fingers and pulled the red hood over his eyes. Dick made a mental note to upgrade the security of his closet. "I refuse!"
"Oh, sure. Refuse. Bet you can't do it, anyway. Tim, do you wanna help Miss M make dinner?"
Tim hesitantly began to stand from his spot on Wally's lap. "Su—"
"No! He's not cool enough to cook!" Jason harrumphed, sliding off the stool with an almost-acrobat's grace and immediately sped through the kitchen, batspatula in hand. "Don't let my cooking skills overwhelm you."
"Or underwhelm you," Tim glared from his spot, tiny hands desperately clinging onto Wally's outer shirt.
Jason turned his head to glare, and suddenly a thoughtful look came to view. "Hey, why doesn't anyone ever just use the word—"
"Whelmed?" Dick snorted, laughter bellowing from his stomach before he settled on the couch next to Wally. "Dude, that is so last year."
"Fuck you, Grayson!"
"Dick, Jason used a bad word agai—oh." Tim fell silent and slowly scooted off of Wally's lap, head ducked with shame. That wasn't good. Dick looked at the table, surprised to find a Red Robin fast food bag on the table. Or not, considering it was Wally that they were dealing with.
He looked to the speedster from the corner of his eye, then leaned forward across from his boyfriend's lap to put a hand on Tim's shoulder. "What's wrong?"
"He thinks you're mad at him," Wally quickly whispered in his ear.
"I know you're mad at me," Tim said indignantly. His hands trembled with the french-fry and he placed it neatly on the table, still not looking his older brother in the eye. "I did badly. Y-You'd disapprove. Batman would…would disapprove."
"I'm a little cooler than Batman." Dick waved his hand offhandedly and pulled Tim onto his lap. "Why would I be mad at you?"
Tim's eyebrows furrowed with frustration. "Because…because I was the one who entered the passcode to shut Jason up, and we were s'pose to just go down the street and buy milk, but then…then Damian accidentally pressed the turbo boosters and we crashed into the mountain. I'm sorry. You said State Farm doesn't cover us."
"You also forgot our dad's a freaking billionaire." Dick laughed and hugged him affectionately. "Totally not mad."
Big blue eyes met his gaze. "Pinky promise?"
"Pinky promise." Dick turned his head to the right when he heard a snicker. He was met with a kiss to the forehead and one arm affectionately wrapped around his shoulder. "What was that for?"
"You? Being paternal?" Wally grinned. "So cute."
"You're so weird," Dick drawled, but he decided not to question.
Instead, his eyes fell back to Tim, who was staring at him with those eyes—the ones that were larger than Batman's fists again. Maybe even bigger than that. A smile tugged on the elder brother's face and he flitted his little bro until Tim had one leg on each lap. "So you've met Wally, huh?"
Tim grew quiet—meditative. He was the only person out of the entire Batfamily, really who could ever duplicate a look that only Bruce pertained. Maybe even better. Finally, he looked down, slowly nodding as pink spread across his cheeks. He scurried off both laps and looked back up. "May I go to your room?"
"Aw, I'm not mad at you. I'm. I'm not." Dick slowly stood up and noticed the flush slowly creep across Tim's face. Tim wasn't one who liked to vocalize his thoughts with everyone around. Especially—
"Dick! Watch me cook, watch me cook!"
—whenever Jason was around. Dick ran a hand through his hair, finding himself feeling very Bruce-like all of a sudden. Before he had the chance to stress out (or really, become part of Jason's annoying tug-of-war again), Tim climbed back onto Wally's lap, shy blush dusting across his cheeks as he grew quiet.
"Yeah, Timmy?" Wally arched an eyebrow.
"Dick has pretty eyes." Um. Tim fumbled back and forth, hands twitching under large sleeves. "Do you think he has pretty eyes?"
Dick tensed as Wally turned his head with very much amusement, eyebrow arched and amorous grin spread across his lips. "I think he's got gorgeous eyes."
"Um, Tim, I don't think—"
"Do you…" Tim fidgeted again, cheeks redder. "Are my eyes are pretty as his?"
"Hey," Dick nudged his boyfriend in the arm out of instinct. He went for a glare, but found Wally only looking back with one of his giggles.
"Oh." Then Tim—shy, little and adorable little Tim—broke into a small smile and shuffled off of Wally's legs. "I like apple pie."
"Semantics?" Wally smiled back. Clearly the speedster was better with kids than Dick was.
Tim nodded. "Semantics."
He didn't…there was no way…Dick kept his look stern, but he wasn't sure if he was able to hide his gape. Tim scooted, tucking closer to Wally's lap as his boyfriend affectionately obliged. Large blue eyes filled with reluctance—hesitation as it always did with Tim. Sure, taking down four villains and kneeing Jason in the stomach? Easy job.
Wally smiled and petted him on the head. Tim smiled back.
Making friends? …normally not as easy. Again Timmy flushed a sweet pink and scooted off of Wally's lap. "May I go to the bathroom?"
Dick stood to his feet. "Do you need me to take you—"
"Can Wally take me?" Tim's eyes widened three times their normal size, thoughtful and analyzing before he tucked his hands shyly behind his back.
"I…I like Wally."
"Uh—" He was kind of hoping Wally and he could cuddle on the couch. Dick scratched his head, passing a strained look to the speedster and received a shrug. Wally apparently didn't mind. "Well." Though coddling his little brothers and sisters wasn't part of the itinerary this weekend. "Sure."
Oblivious like any normal eight-year-old boy, Tim only beamed, vibrant hues of pink earnestly spewing across his cheeks as he held out a tiny hand for Wally's grip. The redhead shrugged slightly, leaning in a centimeter's gap before commenting, "It's a break. My cousin's much worse."
Oh, that cousin. Dick opened his mouth to speak, but Tim beat him to it, calm eyes glistening with curiosity. "Is he a speedster too?"
"He's one. Well." Wally blinked and tapped his chin. "Technically."
"Oh." Oddly enough Tim's head hung low again in its troubled, I'm-not-worthy pose and it definitely didn't help that Jason was laughing loudly in the background.
"You can meet him. He's nice." Suddenly Wally raised another eyebrow in the air and suddenly laughed. "Yeah. Next weekend—just you and me. How about that, Timmy?"
"But every other weekend is—our." Dick twitched. He was so not begging.
"Oh, you're right." The redhead blinked thoughtfully as Tim slowly climbed him like a totem pole. A full, irritating smile curled across Wally's face and he jiggled Tim lightly on his hip. "Whoa—kinda heavy, aren't you, little guy? Guess we'll just have to reschedule, Rob."
"But he's cute…"
"We don't have to if you don't want to," Tim's voice softened and he nuzzled against Wally's neck. A look of worry passed through his features and he leaned forward as Wally straightened his grasp. "I'll just babysit Jason and—"
"Bullshit!" Jason hissed from the counter. "I'm older than you-ow! Di-ick, the alien hit me!"
Tim frowned bitterly, eyes burning holes in the ground. "He deserved it." He tugged on Wally's sleeve, cheeks bright pink.
"Oh, gotta go that badly, little guy? Manners on this kid, Rob." Wally grinned, nudging Dick playfully in the arm as he shifted their trek down the hall. "You should learn some."
So not astrous. Dick readily opened his mouth to protest—and really protes—
"Dick is the coolest big brother in the world," Tim's voice echoed through the halls, informative rather than smug as Wally hummed. "A-And don't worry about how short he is. Scientifically his text book says…says that his height does not transfer to the size of his—"
The eldest Batsibling whirled around. He groaned as the fire alarm went off, Megan trying very hard to pull Jason away from the smoking oven, and volunteered to get the fire extinguisher.
By dinner, things were okay. Tim had been trying really hard to impress Wally, and made sure that Wally knew all of his big brother's good qualities. Kid Flash was an acceptable boyfriend for Dick, he decided, after Wally dropped everything—save Tim himself—and help with the fire. He read in the manor's library once that guys really liked it when they were complimented, so he made sure to laugh at all of Wally's jokes—but they were all funny. And Wally seemed happy. Dick kept giving them funny looks, but being one of the world's greatest detectives, Tim reasoned that Dick was trying to juggle all of them.
"Milk!" Steph gasped by Tim's side, swinging the carton in her hand with a smile. Suddenly her eyes widened, and she looked up to Wally, who Tim was currently sitting on. "Here you go!"
"Er." Wally accepted it uncertainly while Tim crawled onto the chair next to their brother's boyfriend. "Thanks—"
Swipe! "Yay!" She grinned and hugged it happily to her chest. "Dick says I get to keep it if I stole it from you!"
"Really?" Wally's green eyes turned to Dick, who was currently suited up as Robin with a pair of tongs and a baby spoon in his hand. Damian was on Superboy's lap, Batpacifier locked tightly between his teeth. "That's a little mean, don't you think?"
"Stealing is bad," Tim agreed.
"Shut up, Tim! OW!" Jason threw a glare across the table, then to Megan, who looked as innocent as ever. He gritted his teeth, pulling sleeves from his fingers before folding his arms. "I mean. Please shut up."
Tim rolled his eyes. Wally grinned. Suddenly Steph disappeared, and under the table Tim caught a glimpse of his sisters crawling around with various forks and spoons in their hands. Cass had her eyes glued to feet. Tim looked closer, then up. Aqualad's feet. Then, after Stephanie gave three enthusiastic tugs to Tim's leg, she crawled over to Miss Artemis, who—was passing something to her that looked suspiciously like darts.
"It's not like I haven't stolen stuff from you before," Dick grinned before poking Damian's stomach. "Time for nomnom, little brother?"
"True, but…" Wally smirked. "Remember what I stole from you?" It must have been really bad, 'cause Dick started blushing.
"What'd you steal?" Tim tilted his head to the side.
"Something that can never be returned, no matter how many times you take it up with customer service." Wally giggled. "His first kiss."
Oh. Tim squinted. "Are kisses important?"
"That was so not my first kiss," Dick whirled around, and suddenly he smirked. He set the bowl of mushed peas on the table, pulled out a handkerchief and pressed it against Wally's face. "You've got stuff."
Tim hid a small smile, watching as Wally stuck his tongue out and Dick punched him square in the arm. Dick pulled away from the speedster, agile and teasing when Wally failed to grab Dick. That was when Tim felt himself burst with pride. No one could catch Dick. Dick was really awesome.
"Get a room," Miss Artemis drawled. She rolled her eyes, head rested in one of her arms as Stephanie crawled up her leg and sat semi-obediently on her lap.
Stephanie jiggled her milk. "I think they make a cute couple! Wally's a pretty bride! So long as they practice sustenance!"
"Abstinence," Tim corrected. Wally was snickering right next to him.
"Little one, t'is not a good idea to stay down there very long." Kaldur chimed, table cloth lifted slowly above his lap. He was gesturing to Cass—who immediately scurried over to Tim, eyes piercing and cat-like as they squished into the same seat. Aqualad smiled. "Would you like food?"
Cass proceeded with shaking her head. She pulled the black scarf close and tightly over her mouth before sitting with her fingers fiddling with what looked like fish scales.
Jason pounded a fist into the table, nearly making the lasagna skid off the surface. "DICK! Damian can feed himself Feed me—ow! Feed me please…!"
Tim bit back a huff and fixed the knot tangled in Cassandra's scarf.
"It's true," Superboy confirmed. From the corner of his eye Tim could see the kyrptonian holding Damian in the most awkward position any baby could be held at—specifically with more than one body part dangling at the ground. "He says he can feed himself."
Dick arched an eyebrow, and Tim mimicked the action. He waved a tong and spoon in his gauntleted hand and put a hand on his hip. "And what makes you so sure that's what Damian's saying—ow."
"HEY!' Jason jumped onto the table, birdarang swift between his fingers. "Damian's breaking a rule!"
"Really? I wasn't aware of that after he stabbed it in my hand, Jason." Dick rolled his eyes under his mask and pulled out a Batwipe from his utility belt. In a haste, Tim slid out of the chair and scuttled toward their oldest brother, quick to pull out the handkerchief tucked so tightly in the rest of Dick's things. He felt a pick-up of wind, quickly prodding for a batarang, but found himself at Wally's hip and by Dick's side before he had the chance to blink.
"Red. Suits you." Wally grinned and nudged Dick in the arm. "Though, not like this."
Dick ignored him. "Jason, put the birdarang down or you won't get desert."
Tim reached over, glaring at Damian with much distaste, but overlooked it in favor of wrapping the bib tighter around his baby-not-brother-devil thing. Damian glared at him. Superboy looked between the both of them, and then frowned.
"Y…Yeah?" Tim blinked, startled, and found himself against Wally's chest before he had a chance to protest.
"He wants me to kill you." Superboy held the baby up high in the air like a textbook. Damian was not an amused baby.
"You're putting the batarang down," Robin continued in their chaos of problems, "or you're grounded."
"Big deal!" Jason hissed and threw another glare in Tim's way. "Why doesn't he ever get in trouble?"
"Because I follow the rules—o-ow." Tim's eyes widened and he clutched his cheek in surprise. He caught the birdarang in his hands with grace, but hadn't missed the snicker from its thrower: Damian. The Batpacifier dropped from the toddler's mouth and he clapped his hands repeatedly.
"DIKE! DIKE! DIKE!"
"Damian. No." Dick lightly slapped the toddler's wrist and frowned.
Jason was relentless. "Now Tim has a birdarang! Aren't you going to do something?"
"Does it hurt?" Wally slid Tim down until his feet met the ground, green eyes flickering with concern. His hand was nearly three sizes larger than Tim's as he inspected the small cut—which was no doubt bleeding. Damian had horribly good aim. "Oh, it's bleeding."
"Y…Yeah." Tim bit back a sniffle. Wally's fingers felt funny against the cut, but he was determined not to cry.
Before Tim had the chance to blink, Wally had put a band-aid over his cut and pressed a kiss square on the cut. "There," said the speedster with a smile. "All better."
"Kisses aren't really helpful in recovering lost blood cells." Tim reached over the speedster's shoulder, knowing full well that he was bending his brother's boyfriend in a way only their family could accept, and pulled out a handkerchief. He wiped Wally's cheek—the small spot that Dick had missed when cleaning his boyfriend's face. Red slowly fluttered to Tim's cheeks and he smiled shyly. "But they're appreciated."
"Hehe, you're a cutie." Wally grinned.
Slowly the smile from Tim's face disappeared and he scrutinized Wally—saw the contour of his face, the plenty splotches of freckles, and dug his hands into Wally's shirt. Research. He was…was going to ask for big brother dick.
Who was currently trying to pry the devil baby from his leg. Wally mumbled something about 'birdies in an apron' with an odd smirk while Superboy gathered all twenty of Mr. PotatoBatman's accessories. Cass was still at the table, stabbing a fork repeatedly in her mashed potatoes, and Jason was…well, having another tantrum. In…midair. Tim filed it away in the back of his mind that he didn't want to get Miss Megan angry. Ever.
"Can I…" Tim raised his head, mind returning to the duty at hand as he fisted the redhead's shirt. "Can I have a kiss?"
What was really odd was the fact Dick was looking at him with surprise. Dick ripped Damian from his leg, nearly suffocating the baby as he pressed their youngest sibling against his chest.
"Wally…" Robin seethed.
What was wrong? Why did Robin look ready to shove Damian's batarang down someone's throat? Tim looked back to Wally, concern fluttering across his features and eyebrows furrowing as the green eyes stared at him—oddly wry, like how Dick would look at Jason when Jason was being stupid. Tim had practiced that look in the mirror for a week and he was convinced he could pull it off enough to get Jason to shut up whenever he started throwing fits.
Was it a bad question to ask? Dick's expression made Tim think of when they were dealing with the Joker months back, and how angry he'd been. Tim jostled himself against the speedster, and found himself still pressed firmly against Wally's body.
"I just," he whispered miserably, low enough that Superboy was probably the only one that could hear him, "I wanted to make sure you were good enough for my brother." Maybe he crossed the line.
"Fairly amusing, that's what it is, Tim." Wally smiled sheepishly and pressed a kiss to his nose. He grinned. "That's further I've gotten with you in one day than I have with Rob within three months of our relationship."
Tim missed Dick prodding Wally with a tong. He fell out of Wally's arms with grace and scurried back over to his seat between Stephanie and Cassandra, small smile working its way across his face.
"And the reports are?~" Steph grinned and exchanged darts with Cass. "Do we get to mangle him?"
Tim nodded slowly, hand touching his nose with a small smile. "Mission is a success."
Wally was the perfect husband for Dick. Steph and Cass clanked their milk in consensus.
Putting the batkids to bed wasn't an easy job. Damian insisted on sleeping on a water-crib next to Superboy's bed, and Dick, exhausted of all his patience, had to deal with Conner's pleading puppy dog eyes. Stephanie demanded for a warm glass of milk, which made for an interesting run to Happy Harbor's Walmart—the greatest story never to be told—and by the time they got back, Kaldur had finished reading the Little Mermaid to Cass. She was probably out like a light, Steph curled up next to her and still sucking her thumb.
Jason was grounded. Dick made sure of that after Jason threatened to unscrew Red Tornado's head and use it as a basketball—before proceeding with the wrong methods because he quite frankly was technologically
stupid and they had to pry him off.
"And you're staying in the corner until Batman comes home," Robin scolded.
"But Batman's not coming home for another week!"
Dick flashed a grin, far too amused for the current situation. He smirked again, eyes darting to the corner where Miss Martian stood, and another idea came to mind. His demeanor darkened with amusement. "And if you don't behave, I'll make Miss M babysit you next time, too."
Jason glared and opened his mouth to speak. Dick raised his hand.
"I'll give you a spanking. I don't care if you're eleven. Tim would take it and accept the consequences." Successfully the comment hit a sore spot and his little brother immediately shut up, teeth gritted as he looked to the wall, still as a stone. Dick wasn't quite sure if Jason was even breathing.
Meh. He shrugged and filled a slot on the sofa, right next to his blissful boyfriend and sweet little brother. A long sigh stretched from his lips, and Dick tossed his head back in frustration.
"Finally sometime alone?" Wally smiled and nudged him casually in the arm.
Dick smiled softly and pulled the gauntlet off his hand. He touched it next to Wally's, fingers tickling the many freckles that splattered the speedster's wrist. "Finally some time alo—"
"Dick." Tim slid off Wally's lap and quickly filled the small gap, bottom pressed against their hands. Great. He squinted calculatedly and smiled innocently. "May I sleep in Wally's room?"
"No." The answer left Dick's lips before he had the chance to fully process the question. He lowered his gaze behind his mask, frowning, and—oh, crap. Tim's look of curiosity transformed into worry and hurt, along with a frown and a swig of depression. If there was any perfect contraceptive in the world, it would be giving his boyfriend a kiss goodnight before said boyfriend teetered off in bed with his little brother. "How about you sleep in my room?"
Tim's eyes widened. Joy—hopefully, because the fervent hue of pink scattered across his cheeks as the little eight-year-old processed the information in his super brain.
"How come he gets to sleep in your room?" Ugh, Jason.
"Hey, Megan," Dick looked over to the kitchen where their Martian was casually preparing another batch of cookies. "You wanna babysit for me on—"
"I'll be good!" Jason screamed at the top of his lungs. "I'll be good!"
Wally stood up, arms readily reaching to pull Tim in his grasp. "How about I read you a bedtime sto—"
"No." Dick resisted the urge to roll his eyes.
Tim looked at him curiously. "No?"
"Wally, you're going to sit there and I'm going to take care of my little brother before I have an aneurysm and die." Robin offered his pointed look before pulling Tim into his arms and propped him at a hip. "Understand me?"
"Yes, Wonder Boy." Wally collapsed between couch cushions and snickered.
Robin kicked him in the shin on his way out toward his room in Mount Justice. Tim's head tucked comfortably at the juncture between his neck and shoulder, and he clung to the other boy tightly. Dick made sure to peel the sweaty hoodie off his little brother's body before setting him in the large twin-sized bed.
"Tuckered out, little bro?" He did his best not to sigh with relief—not while Tim's bright blue eyes fluttered open and looked at him with soft curiosity.
Tim nodded softly and pulled the sheets over his body. "Are you mad at me?"
Yes. "What—n-no." Liar.
"He's a good boyfriend," Tim said quietly. He smiled, mounting in the stance Robin had taught him ages ago with his fingers curled into the material of Dick's duvet. "He's good for you. Cass and Steph approve, too."
Oh. Oh. Dick bit back a small, silly grin and found himself rendered speechless. He tossed his head back. "Hahaha. Was that what you were doing, Timmy? Evaluating Wally?"
One eyebrow shot in the air and Dick knew his little brother was giving the look Tim so often gave when the line between rationality and insanity was smudged. "What did you think I was doing?"
"I thought you were—" Hitting his boyfriend? If it was likely that Tim had a crush on Wally, it was best not to encourage it. Dick flashed a small grin, riffling a hand through his brother's hair before pressing a kiss to his forehead. "Night, Timmy."
"G'night, Dick." Tim's eyes fluttered closed. "I love you."
"Love you too, little brother."
Sure that Tim would fall asleep within the first few minutes of his room, Dick grabbed a teddy bear from the top shelf with a small smile. Tim looked at it with awe. "I get to sleep with Nightwing?"
"The chances of being able to pry Mr. PotatoBatman from Damian's hands are highly unlikely." Dick laughed and tucked the teddy bear between his little brother's fingers. He smiled, peeling the mask off his face before sauntering back toward the door. "Don't tell anyone. Especially Jason. Hearing him whine about Nightwing on our way home to Gotham is the last thing I want to hear."
When Tim blanched, scowl spreading across his lips, Dick had a feeling they came to an agreement.
He left the room, sigh of relief escaping his lips and upped the pace in hopes of getting to the living room. The kids were asleep—he didn't have to worry about them. At all. And Tim totally wasn't stealing his boyfriend. Not that he was worried. He was cuter, right?
Dick found Wally right where he'd left him. Smile etching across his lips, he jumped onto the sofa and straddled Wally's waist. "Hey."
"Oof!" Wally fidgeted and sat up, nose clanking with his boyfriend's. "Ouch. You know, when Timmy did it, he didn't nearly break one of my ribs. Dude, you're so getting fat."
"Getting fat?" Dick arched an eyebrow, appalled. "I've got muscle mass, Kid Bottomless Pit."
"KBP. Sure, I can totally see you screaming that the next time we face the League of Shadows." Wally smirked and crossed his arms directly on Dick's lap. Suddenly his demeanor changed into quaint curiosity. "So is your family always like that?"
Well, that certainly wasn't the foreplay that Robin was hoping for. He held a thoughtful gaze—much like Tim's, he mused—before lowering his voice. Megan had apparently taken pity on Jason and pulled him into the kitchen, quietly letting him assist with baked goodies. "You…know how I became Robin, right?"
"Uh." Wally nodded slowly, expression loosening with concern. "Yeah."
"Same basis. Somewhat." It wasn't a time for angsting—not before cuddly happy time. Dick forced a smile and kissed Wally's nose. His Wally's nose. "Let's just go with…once in a while, Batman goes out on a limb to pull an Angelina Jolie."
"So…are they like…all Robins?"
"Sure. We…haven't really decided on it yet." Dick smiled softly and crossed his arms and legs until he was perfectly settled on Wally's lap.
"They're still young, and the backgrounds are somewhat different. Being a big bro, you know? Just have…always looked out for them. Don't want anything to happen."
"Ah." Wally pulled him into a kiss and supported him, hands wrapped around Dick's waist. "Well, that's nice. You should bring Timmy over next weekend—for serious."
"Are you going to tune me out again?" Dick's eyes narrowed.
"Tune you out? What? No." Wally laughed and nudged him softly in the arm. "Dude, plenty of Wally love to go around. Let me just find out wherever the heck my baby cousin is and they can play. You…didn't think I was tuning you out on purpose, today, right? You were busy with your sibs—and you talk about Tim all the time. I wanted to make a good impression with him."
"Love you, Robby." The redhead captured him into another kiss, hand snaking around Dick's neck before pushing him against the couch. Dick's head hit the cushions with a thud. He looked to the mischievous green eyes above him. "But going back to our conversation from this afternoon…I take it you love pie more?"
Hahaha. "Semantics." With agile grace, Dick flipped their positions and kissed Wally fully on the lips. He laughed. "You are my pie, Wally. Love you too."
"He's cute." Dick flashed a grin, Tim wrapped tightly around his leg, wary look spread across his face.
Wally smiled back, sheepish, and resisted urge to roll his eyes at the red-and-white blur zooming in and out of every room. "His name's Bart. He's my cousin."
Tim's eyes widened—god, that kid had big eyes. Really cute and illegally adorable cute eyes. "I thought…you said that your cousin was one."
"It's a long story," Wally explained. "One that…we shouldn't get into."
Finally Bart raced back in, large grin on his face as he held up a sandwich nearly three times his size. "Omigod Wally this is so cool did you know they had a pool in here and WOW who's the really pretty redhead that made me a sanwhich hey did you know that seventy-six percent of sanwhiches have bread in them and that ninety-nine percent of statistics are made up on the spot?"
"He talks fast," Tim whispered softly.
Wally shrugged. "You get used to it after a while."
Bart gasped. In a familiar blur, Bart zipped through the room before stopping directly in front of Tim. "Oh GRIFE hi you look just like Wally's boyfriend only sort of my age only actually not my age cause I'm actually only one but I really look six!"
Dick nudged his little brother gently. "Do you like him?"
Tim looked up with curiosity before his eyes narrowed directly to Bart's extended, mustard-and-ranching-covered hand. He smiled. "I like him. Hi."
"Hi!" A smile overtook most of Bart's face and he beamed, wiping the hand on his oversized t-shirt. "My name is Bart! What's yours?"
Tim shifted uncomfortably between his feet. "Timothy."
"Timothy? Timmy? TIM?" Bart bounced up and down before tackling Tim to the ground. Wally looked back to Rob, and sure enough his boyfriend had the same look of amusement to Tim's look of…well, something. Bart tended to talk too fast. "Can I call you Tim? Can we hang out? You're really cute are you related to Wally's boyfriend?"
"Um. W-Well, he's my brother—"
"You're a Robin? You're a Rob? YOU'RE LIKE ROBIN?" Bart's hands clasped to his cheeks with glee and he yanked Tim to his feet. "Oh, grief! I'm going to be Kid Flash some day and I know it cause I'm from the future and we—we should hang out!"
In a blur, both little boys were gone in an instant. Wally blinked as Dick fell silent. The redhead laughed softly. "He's kind of impuls—"
"Omigod! LOOK TIM IT'S SUPERBOY WE SHOULD HANG OUT WITH HIM." Bart's voice echoed through the cave before they were consumed with silence. "Hey you know what Robin and Kid Flash do? They make out! We should totally make out!"
Dick dropped his jaw. "He's going to defile my little bro!"
"Defile your little bro?" Wally gaped. "Bart is one! He's—"
"They do something else too! Hmm, it has something to do with taking off their pants or at least pants are always taken off. Hmm."
Um. Before Dick even had the chance to turn around with an accusatory glance, Wally zipped out of the room—straight for the little ones. Oh. Oh, grife.