AN: I have something to confess: I am a big fan of crack!pairings, the crackier the better! So I thought about it and a silly idea came to mind. What if I just wrote a story to incorporate all the crack pairings I would like to see?
This fic will be the crack of crack, so prepare for it! If any of you guys have any crack pairings you would like to see go on a blind date, feel free to let me know ;) if inspiration hits me like cupid's arrow, expect to see a chapter in the future.
Life is Rosy, Hancock!
"What did you say, my love? You think I'm handsome?"
Another blood vessel was popping from the Snake Empress's forehead. Fists balled up and shaking, it was taking everything in her to keep herself from unleashing "King's Ambition" on her blind date.
"I didn't say anything, you vile man!"
"Handsome, you say? A-ha! Well I think it is only proper that the world's most handsome man have the world's most beautiful woman by his side!"
Duval, gazing romantically at his mirror, did not hesitate to wrap one of his arms around her shoulder. He rolled his eyes back and gave it one of his classic winks. Hancock shuddered. This man would have been turned to stone by now if it weren't for that goddamn mirror of his. Every time she tried to use her mero-mero powers on him, it would just bounce off his mirror and hit some other helpless victim.
They were ridding on his bison, Motobaro. When she saw the animal, her first instinct was to kick the beast. When Duval asked her why she would do that to his beloved love bison, she just threw her head back and replied, "Because I am beautiful!" Duval was instantly won over. Life was rosy once more! There was no doubt, the world celebrated their perfect union. Of course, he knew the gods above were jealous with envy of their beauty.
"Look my love," said Duval, pointing the mirror at both of them. "Look how handsome I look..eh, I mean, we look!"
Hancock slapped his arm off her. She was getting really pissed off. Strands of her hair started to rise up, dancing in the air like enchanted snakes.
"Don't touch me, you disgusting man!"
"Oh my," gasped Duval, he placed his hands over his mouth to hide his smile. "Shy lady, I see."
Suddenly something really bright caught her eye. She stared in horror when noticed a neon-light sign blinking the words "Tunnel of Love." Duval made them leave the restaurant because it wasn't "rosy enough" for the occasion, but she had no idea this was the place he had in mind.
"Stop this beast at once," she demanded, pulling on Duval's ear.
"Oh my love," Duval cooed. "I know you are a shy and delicate woman of beauty. You fear you may lose yourself to my handsome good looks if we were to enter there, but I assure you, this is just an innocent ride into a world that celebrates our magnificent splendor."
Hancock rolled her eyes. The only thing she might lose on this ride is her dinner. As they entered the tunnel, rose pedals began to sprinkle over them. Swans swam next to them and red hearts blinked in the soft darkness. Hancock, take it easy, she thought to herself. Remember why you are on this date.
She felt herself collapse. Luffy, Luffy asked you to go on this date. She covered her blushing face with her arm. At first she thought he was asking her on a date, so of course she said yes. But it turned out that he wanted her to go on a date with one of his friends that had a major crush on her, a friend that had curly eyebrows. She didn't have the heart to say no to his request. Luffy, I hope you see this date as a pledge of my undying love for you!
Meanwhile at the Strawhat's Ship, Thousand-Sunny:
"What do you mean she went on a date with that bastard Duval?"
Sanji was screaming at Zoro face, pulling on the collar of his shirt.
"She came here looking for some curly-brow guy. That idiot was here so I just figured it was him."
"She was suppose to go on a date with me you shit head," spat Sanji, shaking him by his shirt. "Luffy was the one who organized this date, why the hell would you think he would set her up with that moron?"
"Whatever. You're both equally retarded," barked Zoro. "I'm sure she couldn't even tell the difference!"
Fire was blazing in Sanji's eye. He was getting ready to lift his leg.
"What was that, marimo?"
"I said," Zoro slid out one of his swords. "You're being too noisy!"
It was on. The two were fighting like a pack of dogs, but neither of them could actually land a hit. It finally ended when Nami came in and knocked them out.
Duval saw Hancock's reflection in the mirror. The poor thing was covering her blushing face with her arm.
She's trying too hard to hide her true feelings from me, thought Duval, she is aching for a kiss but she is too shy to ask.
Duval felt a little lump in his throat. It had been a very long time since he'd kissed a girl. And now that he was so handsome, girls were way too shy to ask for a kiss. He gulped the lump down. This lady, however, was different. She was someone worthy of his blessed kiss. He noticed even though her arm was covering her face, her lips were still reachable. He was going to do it. He practiced puckering his lips in the mirror. Hancock was so deep in her fantasies of Luffy, she didn't even notice him inching towards her.
Duval was trying to keep his cool, but balls of sweat rolled down his face. His lips were puckered up and ready to lay one on her. He was breathing harder when he was just inches from her face. Hancock snapped out of it when she felt the hot breath hitting her skin. She lowered her arm and saw Duval's kissy-kissy face just millimeter from her lips. Her eyes popped out in terror. She immediately used her arm to smack him off Motobaro.
Duval coughed when he made it back to the surface. He was in complete shock.
"Why'd you do dat?"
Hancock was about to lash out at him, but she remembered this was one of Luffy's dearest friends. Oh no! She thought, covering her mouth with her hand. What if he tells Luffy?
"You will forgive me of course," Hancock insisted, turning towards him with her eyes sparkling and her hair waving in the hair. "Because I am beautiful."
Duval cupped his ear with his hand and smiled.
"What did you say? You think I am handsome!"
The Snake Empress grumbled to herself as Duval laughed in delight. He floated on his back in the warm water as rose petals sprinkled over him.
"A-ha! Life is Rosy, my love!"
XD XD XD XD OMG! Oda make it happen! Make life rosy for these two, please! Well, I hope you enjoyed this as much as I enjoyed writing it. My, my, my, I wonder who will go on a date next :3 till then, thanks for reading and reviewing!