Disclaimer: The Kids Next Door does not belong to me. I do not own any stake in the Kids Next Door franchise. I do not own any of the characters that appear in the Kids Next Door television show. I do not make any money off this story. Any other non-canon characters, however, are mine.

Additional Disclaimer: If, for any reason, I should mention anything else that does not belong to me (for instance: songs, television shows, internet webpages, other franchise/brand names, etc.) I shall have you know that I hereby disclaim any ownership of said things. I do not make any money off of those things. I also do not condone anything criminal or unlawful.

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King Of Autumnopolis Shot!

His Majesty the King of Autumnopolis was shot yesterday during peace talks between all the countries of the world. The King was rushed to the hospital and was declared in stable, but fragile condition. Investigators have not released any statement regarding the would-be assassin or the weapon, but have detained the rest of the leaders for questioning. When asked for a statement, the Emperor of Wintersdom said that there was no way he or any of his retinue would ever harm the King and that "…those whippersnappers from Spingsthesia could have done it." The Springsthesia officials deny any wrongdoing and…

The honor of your presence

is requested at the marriage of

Thaddeus Payne & Francine Fulbright

On the 7th of May


At ten 'o clock in the morning

Springthesia Officials Framed

In an unprecedented turn of events, the President of Springsthesia and his ambassadors were accused of shooting the King of Autumnopolis. "The gumwad was found near His Majesty's heart," an investigator said. "The evidence is clear: Springsthesia is guilty." While Springsthesia officials are always armed and were armed during the peace talks, they deny having weapons that used gum.

"We are being framed," one official says. "There are people out there who are seeking to deface the image of Springsthesia. They have a hidden agenda and they will stop at nothing. But Springsthesia will not be pushed around."

April 3, XXXX

Dear Mr. & Mrs. Beatles,

We regret to inform you that for the reasons stated below, your son, Wallabee Beatles, is no longer welcome at Titus Academy. Please note that we are expecting you to pay the damages that he has acquired during his stay with us and that we are also due in court two weeks from now. Our lawyers will be contacting yours…


After decades of an uneasy peace between Autumnopolis and Springsthesia, the Prime Minister of Autumnopolis has declared war. The Prime Minister could not be reached for a comment, but when asked for an opinion, the Presidential Speaker of Springsthesia said that it was a shame that Autumnopolis would declare war with no good reason, and that "if it is a fight they want, it's a fight they'll get."

You are cordially invited

to the marriage of

Nigel Uno & Elizabeth Devine

On the 30th of April


At twelve 'o clock noon

April 16, XXXX

Dear Nigel,

Have you been reading the papers lately? Awful isn't it? I've decided to help any way I can and so I signed up for the Navy! I wanted to get onto the Yippernicus, but they put me onto the Mad Monday instead. Who's ever head of the Mad Monday?

I'm sorry, but I won't be able to attend your wedding. I'll have to ship out before then. I'm sure you'll be able to get another bridesmaid in time, right? She won't give a good a speech as I will, but that's okay.

Good luck from your cousin,

Eva Roberts

Conflicting Evidence In Peace Talks Shooting

New evidence has been uncovered by Investigators involved in the Peace Talk case. Investigators analyzed the gum wad found near the King of Autumnopolis's heart and found traces of denture cream. "It's astounding," one detective said. "No one from Springsthesia uses denture cream. They couldn't have chewed that gum wad. They couldn't have shot it at the King."

Springsthesia officials are reveling in their vindication. "We're trying to open up peace talks with Autumnopolis," the Presidential speaker said. "We're not responsible for the shooting, so we shouldn't be at war."

Peace Talks Unsuccessful

Springsthesia Ambassador Infinity reported that there was no reasoning with Autumnopolis. There will still be a war between the two countries. "They are adamant," Ambassador Infinity said. "Hopefully, this conflict will end before too much has been lost."

April 19, XXXX

To Captain Nigel Uno,

You have been called upon by the President of Springsthesia to lend your expertise to the crew of the KND Yippernicus. Please report to the docks with your papers by the end of the month.

April 25, XXXX

Ship Inspection Report #403

Ship Inspector: #65.3 Herbert Baker

The KND Mad Monday is hereby declared shipshape and ready for duty. Her captain has reported to be of sound mind and body and has opened up the roster for volunteers. The cook, gunner and surgeon are stocking the ship appropriately for her purpose. The ship is clean and devoid of the frivolous decorations that I expected her crew to cover her in. It's probably thanks to the practical nature of her captain.

April 26, XXXX

Nigel Uno!

Don't you dare go off to sea! You think I don't know what's going on? I'm not stupid, you know. We are getting married and nothing is going to get in our way; especially not a stupid war. I better see you here on the 30th when you come back from your meeting! We still need to finalize the menu with the caterer.

If you're not there, I am coming down to the docks and dragging you back by your shoelaces!



April 28, XXXX

Dear Thaddeus,

By the time you get this letter, I'll be gone. Please don't look for me and please don't think badly of me either. I'm not doing this because there's another man. There is no other man. I just can't get married right now; I'm not ready. If you decide to move on, then I'll understand. I don't expect you to be waiting around for me when I get back. I don't expect you to talk to me ever again. I've already made peace with that. I hope that someday you will forgive me.

Francine Fulbright

= = = Uh…yeah…I hope you appreciate how many desks I've had to rummage through order to get all these letters and newspaper clippings together for you. I almost got caught…twice. Just kidding. = = =

I guess this is a prologue? The chapters won't always be like this; I just wanted to set the stage for an alternate universe. I've always wanted to do a sailing/pirating story, especially after watching Treasure Planet and reading some fiction stories about adventures at sea. Sadly, I don't think I'd be good at writing them for real, which is why I came up with this KND-based seafaring story. The specs of the KND Mad Monday are based upon the USS Constellation (the sloop-of-war Constellation, not the frigate Constellation, mind you) and all the ships in this universe have been through some 2x4 tinkering, so they're some kind of blend of 2x4 and sail technology. I also found out (thanks to the miracle of the KND Code Module Wiki) that Numbuh 10's name is Eva Roberts. So no, Eva isn't a made-up character.

I must warn you right now; if you're interested in following this story then I recommend putting this one on your story alert. This is because I cannot guarantee that I'll be updating once a week like I'd like to. (If I do update, it'll be on Thursdays.) I'm actually working on a different, much longer fanfic at the same time as this one and I'll be neglecting this story in favor of the other one. I won't be releasing the other one until it is completely finished (sequels and all).

– Arty