Chapter 1

There is a club called the Ouran high School Host Club. The members are Soubi, the President; Inui, the vice-President; Light and L, the twins; Ruki, the charming child; and last but not least Sasuke, Ruki's care-taker. This story begins with Ryoma Echizen, a new kid at school.

From Vive-bleu: There's some cussing and shonen-ai involved, so just be warned.

Ryoma: (thoughts)-Wow the place is huge. I wonder if it has a tennis club. They'd probably be easy to beat, damn rich bastards; they never know how to play. Well, I'm going to beat my dad one day then my life will be complete….oh! But what will I do then? Suicide? Not too boring. Oh I know! I'll run away, get married, and have kids…nope, too happy. Oh well, I'll just live in a state of depression. I can always… *bump*

Damn it! What's this door doing in my way? *opens door*

Club: Welcome to Ouran High School Host Club! (Wearing serving outfits)

Soubi: My, my! What a beautiful girl you are. How may I serve you? *bows and kisses hand*

Ryoma: Eww! Bastard! You're gonna make me catch something if you spit on me. And I'm not a gir-

Soubi: (Cuts in) Oh, you're not a girl…good! I hate girls they're all prissy and girly, me? I like guys, they're hot, but I prefer the cute ones, preferably if they haven't lost their ears yet. Then they seem all innocent and cute, I just wanna…

Inui: Enough Soubi! That's your 10 ½ hit this week, if you keep hitting on guys we'll lose all our customers. Our business is already down 34% and dropping at a steady rate of 2% per week. If this keeps up than by the end of March…

Light: Shut the hell up! I'll kill all of you if you keep talking!


L: Even me brother? *Scoots closer*

Light: well of course not you. *Brushes hair aside, leaning in*

Ruki: Look Sasuke! They're gonna kiss. Then I'll feel all left out. *pouts* Sasuke? Will you kiss me? I'd feel lonely if they were the only ones kissing.

*L and Light get closer*

Sasuke: Look Ruki, I don't like you like that.

Ruki: Please, I'll buy you more ninja stars!

Sasuke: …alright.

*Sasuke and Ruki get closer*

Soubi: Ryoma, I'd feel bad if I were left out too. Kiss me, please. *grabs Ryoma's wrist*

Ryoma: Fuck off bitch! *pulls away* I'm not gay damn it!

Soubi: Ya, but as you can see, we're pretty lenient here. *leans in to Ryoma*

*Light and L kiss*

*Sasuke and Ruki kiss*

*Soubi pulls Ryoma closer, but gets hit with his racket*

Ryoma: I'm out of here, you guys are creeps!

Inui: Wait Ryoma. If I can beat you in a game of tennis will you stay? It would improve business 4% if we got a new member.

Ryoma: (without thinking) Sure! I've been wanting to play forever. Do you guys have courts?

Inui: Of course, please come this way. We will walk through the gym, then outside. There is a vending machine if you get thirsty and also a racket lending centre.

Ryoma: Whatever. *walks off towards the vending machine to buy a Ponta*

Ruki: Yay a match! Can I be a cheerleader Inui? Can I? Can I?

Inui: Sure, in fact, why don't all of you guys cheer?

Light: Hell no…

L: Sounds like fun!

Sasuke: Not a chance.

Soubi: Great!

Ryoma: *Returns with Ponta*Alright, I'm ready. *pulls out racket*

Soubi: Go Ryoma! Beat him up! You can do it! (Cheering)

L: Go Inui! Show him what you've got! (Cheering)

Ryoma: Damn it, how am I supposed to concentrate with that pervert cheering for me?

Soubi: Go Ryoma! I'm not a pervert! You can beat him!

Ryoma: (whispers) I'm doomed!

Inui: *glares evilly* Yep, I already win! *Gasp* hahahahahahahahahahaha-…

Ryoma: Done yet?

Inui: Give me a second. Mwahahahaha! Okay, I'm good, let's go!

Episode 1 End