For one brief moment I could not comprehend the sight before me. The face of the one who had loved me no matter my flaws, who had given up so much to hide both myself and my sister.
My body shook with rage, the veil trembled as I called forth every ounce of will to kill the bastard who had taken the last person in the world who truly knew me. My hands glowed, my staff and extension of my very soul.
It was over before it began. I was drained of all will, and as I watched that thing with the face of my mother fall, I sprinted towards her.
Catching her as gently as I could she softly called my name. She was there, and I failed her.
The familiar pain that haunted me as I had failed Bethany and Carver. Her eyes were cloudy but she spoke softly to me. Thanking me for saving her. Telling me weakly that she knew I would come, and how proud she was of her son.
The world began to grey around me; there was nothing but her in my arms and the pain of the loss that was quickly coming. I knew I could not help her, so I held her as she faded from this life.
Not knowing how long I sat there with her cold body in my arms, finally coming to the horrible realization that she was truly gone.
Bowing my head, a prayer to a maker who had never been there for me. I silently begged him to give her peace and reunite her with my father and siblings.
Slowly I realized that there was a hand resting lightly on my shoulder. I blinked back my tears and turned to see Isabela. The compassion she had in her eyes was something unexpected from her. I also through my blurry eyes saw Merrill, sweet awkward Merrill. Her large kind elven eyes full of sadness. Varic stood next to her, his shoulders slumped and fiddling with his beloved crossbow. Anders sat on the blood soaked dirt a few paces away, completely still, his eyes downcast.
I turned my attention to unclasping my cloak. A beautiful gift from my mother, deep black with the Hawke family crest emblazoned proudly on the back. Isabela took the cloak from my shoulders and spread it on the ground as I lifted my mother's ravaged form. Carefully placing her in it I gently lifted her as I stood on my shaky feet.
All that time I could feel nothing but the gaping hole in my heart. All those deaths resting heavily on my shoulders, all the shame knowing I had failed them all.
The veil rippled as it had for Carver and Bethany. I fought down the grief and hatred for myself and began walking, not daring to look back.