Who Ya Gonna Call

Summary: AOS reboot of the TOS episode 'Wolf in the Fold', only this time the Ghostbusters drop in to lend a hand with the spirit of Redjac.

Genre: Humor/Adventure

Rating: K+

Disclaimer: Alas, I don't own Star Trek or Ghostbusters.


James T. Kirk pulled at the back of his neck and stared skeptically at his First Officer and Security Chief. "So, what you're telling me is that we have the poltergeist of a 500-year-old serial killer loose on the ship?"

Spock's eyebrows moved slightly upward. "In essence, yes."

"I don't suppose there's any good news?"

"Well," Giotto pursed his lips, considering the body of Mr. Hengist. "This should clear Mr. Scott of murder charges - providing we live long enough to show the authorities on Argelius the evidence."

And if they didn't find a way to exorcise the entity from the ships' computer, they'd all be dead and the people on the planet would torture Scotty to death for murders he didn't commit. There were times when Jim wondered if the universe wasn't testing his limits when it came to hacking no-win scenarios. What else could it possibly throw at them?

As if in answer, there was a sudden flash and Kirk was hit simultaneously by his XO and Security Chief, both diving to knock him out of the way of criss-crossing streams of impossibly bright light searing through the room. After being slammed to the floor by roughly 180 kilos of Vulcan and solid human, Jim's first coherent thought was to wonder why no one seemed to believe he could hit the deck on his own. However, once he managed to sit up the stripes of charred tritanium running along the walls that had been immediately behind him more or less answered that.

"Holy shit, where are we?"

The question had come from one of three humanoids - probably the source of the universe's latest attempt on his life - who were pushing back strange visors and staring around in disbelief. They had large packs connect to some sort of hoses harnessed to their back and wore tan jumpsuits. On the shoulder of each was a cartoon image of a ghost inside in red circle with a slash through the middle. The name patches on their chests identified them as Venkman, Stantz and Spengler.

Before anyone could respond, McCoy burst into the room. His eyes widened as he quickly took in the scorched walls, the officers getting off the floor, the dead body still there, and the intruders who were now lifting their head gear and looking more like almost-normal baffled human beings.

"Dammit Jim, what the Sam Hill is going on now?"

Kirk took a hand up from Giotto and straightened his shirt, nodding toward the strangers. "I think we should probably ask them."

"Peter Venkman," One of them stepped forward with his hand extended and a used car salesman smile. "And these are my associates, Ray Stantz and Egon Spengler, specialists in supernatural elimination."

Spock's eyebrows rose in a way that Jim secretly suspected meant 'Oh good, more insane humans'. Giotto's expression had gone almost as stony as the Vulcan's, except that the way his eyes had narrowed just a bit told Kirk that the old veteran had instantly categorized Venkman as a hustler. That was okay. Hustlers Jim could deal with.

"Captain James T. Kirk of the starship Enterprise," Kirk took Venkman's hand while flashing his own smooth grin. "This is Mr. Spock, Mr. Giotto and Dr. McCoy."

"Starship..." Spengler looked around, eyes growing large. "This is phenomenal! Brushing the beams together resulted in interdimensional travel." He looked excitedly at Stantz. "Do you have any idea what this could mean for science?"

At this point the spirit of Redjac, apparently miffed at being upstaged by the newcomers, began to chant over the ship's comm. "Kill you all! Kill you all! Ah-hahahaha! Redjac! Redjac!"

McCoy cocked an eyebrow. "What exactly is it you boys said you do?"

"We're Ghostbusters. We locate ghosts and spirits, trap them with streams of concentrated quantum energy and remove them from people's homes, offices and places of worship," Stantz rattled off. He nodded toward the ceiling. "Sounds like you've got a nasty one."

"I believe that we have determined that the entity in question is in fact a non-corporal being that feeds on the emotions of fear and horror," Spock stated primly.

"Is this 'entity' from Carpathia?" Venkman asked. "Because I think we may have taken out his brother."

"Piece of cake," Stantz added. "Do any of your crew know Jackie Wilson's Higher and Higher?"

He was met by blank looks.

"Cumbaya?" Spengler suggested.

Giotto resisted an urge to pinch the bridge of his nose. He looked at the Captain. "Sir..."

"Wait Chief," Kirk held a hand. "I think they may be onto something. If this things feeds on fear and horror, a load of happy feel-good emotion just might make it sick." Sappy feel-good songs certainly had that affect on him.

Maniacal laughter burst over the comm. "Your manual overrides are extremely limited in life. Soon all control will be restored to me! I can cut off your oxygen and suffocate you!"

"It is attempting to generate terror," Spock observed dispassionately.

"Duh," Venkman rolled his eyes.

Kirk hit the comm. "Everyone stay at your posts, remain calm and ...try to think happy thoughts."

"Dammit Jim, you're not Peter Pan," McCoy drawled. "You can't just tell everyone to 'think happy thoughts' and throw fairy dust at this thing. Life support starts failing and people are naturally going to be scared."

Right, he couldn't just order everybody to be happy but after a moment's thought a devious grin spread on Jim's face. Maybe his misspent youth hadn't been entirely wasted. "Bones, do we have any drugs that would make everyone all mellow and blissed out?"

"I've got some stuff that would tranquilize an active volcano," Bones grinned catching on. "Hell, I've got stuff that'd make one start playing hula music."

"Excellent." Kirk turned back to the Ghostbusters. "So, specialists, what next?"

"Well, first we find the concentration of slime," Stantz began.

"Slime?" Spock queried, eyebrows ascending.

"Yeah," Venkman said as though it should be obvious. "Your major evil spirits usually come with a big side order of ectoplasm. Has anyone checked for slime?"

"We were a bit preoccupied investigating a series of grisly murders," Giotto replied flatly. "Looking for slime must have slipped our minds. However if there was a lot of it, I'm certain that someone would have reported it by now."

"He's probably right," Spengler put in, looking at his PKE meter. "These reading are a lot more like what we saw with Zuul. I think we're dealing with something closer to a malevolent demigod."

Jim barely caught the 'Frak' muttered under Giotto's breath. The Chief hated dealing with god-like beings. When it came right down to it, Kirk wasn't too fond of them either. Spock on the other hand tilted his head in an attitude of thought.

"The entity's mode of operation in taking possession of another being's body does resemble the behavior attributed to demons in earth legend. It is possible then that such beings may have been the source that mythology." Both eyebrows rose. "Fascinating."

"Yeah Spock, it would be," McCoy snarked. "If it hadn't just taken possession of the computer and threatened to kill us."

"Actually it is pretty cool," Stantz said, pulling out a pyramidal device. "If both types of supernatural beings are made of basically the same psychomagnetheric energy, we ought to be able to trap a demonic spirit as easily as any other ghost. We just have to lure it out of the computer into a room where we can set these puppies off."

Kirk grinned. "Spock, aren't there certain mathematical problems which simply cannot be solved?"

"Indeed. If we could focus the attention of the computer on one of them..." Spock turned to the room's terminal. "I shall need a some time to implement the commands."

"Oh Captain, I am sensing the beginnings of a cunning plan." Venkman said, breaking into a matching grin. "Now we just need to figure out to make it go where we can get at it."

"Way ahead of you." Kirk clapped his hands together. "Bones, what would happen if that thing entered someone with a good dose of your happy juice?"

The doctor shrugged. "Well, it might take up karaoke, but nothing more violent than that."

"Karaoke, huh?" Jim scratched the back of his head. "Well, as long as we leave it a better target than Riley we should be okay. Go start distribution immediately."


AN: Yes I know I'm supposed to be writing something else, but two players from the Star Trek RPG I'm in threw down the Star Trek/Ghostbusters plot bunny (heck, one handed me a whole bunny basket) so I had to write this because those bunnies were getting too rowdy for me to work on anything else.

Please r&r