A/N – I seriously don't know where this came from. Mentions of torture, could be read as Wincest.
Wherever Sam is – a cage, a box, a prison – it isn't hell. Hell is a place of grueling torture and fire and boiling waters and rage and pain. There the wicked bath in agony.
This speck of the universe, their new home, is worse than hell. It goes beyond good and evil. Morality has nothing to do with this hole in the world. Heaven, hell – it exists outside of such constraints.
Sam forgot his mother's name when Lucifer boiled his eyeballs, his father's when Michael skinned him one tiny strip of flesh at a time. When he was burned from the inside out, slowly, he would have forgotten his own name.
Except Lucifer never forgets to call to Sam.
Sam, Samuel, Sammy ...
Unlike Michael, who destroys Sam's soul every day out of rage and frustration, Lucifer seems to do it out of love. He whispers endearments in Sam's ear, croons his name with every snap of his bones.
My Sam, my other half.
Adam breaks soon after their imprisonment, but he isn't as imaginative or vindictive as the angels. He hates Sam, hates himself, hates that he cries as he makes Sam bleed. The times when Lucifer and Michael step aside for their protege are moments of relief. Adam tortures himself much more than he could ever torture Sam.
Sam is never offered the chance to make it stop. When he can think beyond the pain, he's thankful for that. He isn't sure what he would do if given the opportunity to turn the knife on Adam. Doesn't want to know.
Michael rarely steps up to hurt Sam, and when he does he lacks the passion and creativity of the beginning.
Adam is . . . Sam isn't sure about Adam. Wherever they are, Sam is always kept away from the other three, packed away so he can't move. Just another little bit of pain for the Winchester who ruined it all. This place could stretch into infinity and Sam would never know. Adam may be out there somewhere, or escaped to join his mother or just plain gone. Like he never existed. Sam hasn't felt his half-brother's presence in an long time. And that's saying something, for this place.
But Lucifer is still as obsessed with Sam. And Sam is almost pathetically grateful that Lucifer hasn't forgotten him. The pain is better than nothing.
Yet even Lucifer drifts away. Sam thinks he sleeps, or hibernates, or whatever the hell a trapped angel does. He's sure Michael is already preferring slumber to Sam. Lucifer will eventually follow. Both shutting down, going into power saving mode while awaiting release.
He never turns off. Doesn't get that luxury.
Lucifer collapses against him, yawns sleepily against Sam's collarbone. Today he's lost his fingers and toes. There's empty space at the stumps of his hands, but Sam can still feel the phantom digits. It's an unnerving feeling that he's never quite gotten used to.
"You know, Samuel," Lucifer murmurs absently, reaching up to lazily smooth Sam's hair down.
So it's going to be one of those sessions.
Even this is nothing new. Lucifer has an endless supply of compliments and pet names for his true vessel.
"All those years, those demons, could never break you, could I?" Lucifer muses. Sam would reply, even make a noise to encourage the devil to continue, but he can't – Lucifer bit Sam's tongue off early in the session, slit his throat not too long after that.
"I know everything about you, Sam. Do you ever wonder why I didn't set you loose on baby bastard Winchester?"
The name – Winchester - sends a jolt through Sam. He had forgotten his family name again.
"My Sammy," he breathes, and nuzzles under Sam's jaw. Instantly the slash across his throat heals, his tongue returns as if it had never been gone. The fingers remain gnawed off at the knuckle.
"A righteous man began the apocalypse. But only a righteous man could end it."
Lucifer reaches up and places his mouth against Sam's ear.
"If it had been you in hell, Sammy – the apocalypse would have never begun. My righteous half. I never asked you to mark Adam because I already knew the answer. It would be no."
"Dean had enough of darkness to counter the light of Michael. You were the only one with enough light to balance my darkness."
No, no, no . . .not D -
"Go ahead, Sammy," Lucifer insists, "say his name. The one you never let go of. He who began it all."
Then he uses his teeth to rip Sam's ear off.