I don't own Star Trek no matter how much I wish to.
"Goddammit Jim! I know you're awake!"
Kirk rolls his eyes under his eyelids before they flutter open. He squints against the harsh lights of the sickbay.
"Hey Bones. What's up?"
McCoy's face turns a very interesting shade of red as he glares at his idiotic friend, who is currently lying on a biobed.
"What's up? WHAT'S UP? I'll tell you what's up! I recently spent four hours piecing you back to-goddamn-gether!"
Kirk pushes himself up so that his upper body is resting against the big, fluffy sickbay pillows. He gives the irate doctor his most innocent expression.
Kirk follows this with a shrug. McCoy seems to turn a shade redder if that was even possible.
"You did not just shrug at me, Mister!"
McCoy sends him a glare of death but continues.
"What did you think you were doing, jumping in front of that spear? Tell me that smart guy?"
Kirk shifts uncomfortably at the question and winces when the stitches pull in his abdomen. He looks up into his best friends face hoping to see some sympathy, but all he sees is frustration and more then a little anger.
'Of course it is a little too much to ask for my best friend to show some compassion. What does he expect me to say? I don't even fully understand...'
"I'm waitin' Jim!"
As Kirk focuses on McCoy's face, he can see the anger has nearly disappeared, but the frustration is still there. Lurking just under the surface.
"They were aiming at Spock and..."
McCoy raises his hand to stop him, which really pisses Kirk off.
'How am I meant to explain myself when I am always being interrupted?'
McCoy seems to miss the fact that his actions have really annoyed his captain.
"He most likely would have suffered minor injuries. Nothing a few stitches and a healing trance couldn't have fixed. YOU died twice on my damn table Jim!"
Kirk shakes his head at this because it just isn't right. Not in his head anyway.
"You can't know that he would have been fine. You're gifted Bones, but seeing into the future isn't one of those gifts."
Bones' face softens as he reaches over and takes Kirk's hand in his.
"You are the Captain. You are more valuable than any other person on this ship. Spock has told you this many, many..."
Kirk snatches his hand out of McCoy's grip and points his finger at the doctor's face.
"That's not true! I am not more valuable than anyone! Especially not..."
Kirk drops his hand and his gaze as he trails off.
McCoy's eyes turn quizzical.
"Especially not... who? Spock? God Jim! Anyone would think you're in love with the hobgoblin with the way you are always jumping between him and danger."
The Captain's eyes widen in fear for a split second and then he schools them into a more casual visage.
'Maybe Bones didn't notice. I could become a Vulcan with the way I can suppress emotions. I am totally awesome and I'm'
"Oh my FUCKING god Jim! You ARE in love with the green blooded computer!"
'… totally fucked!'
The CMO starts pacing in front of the biobed and mumbling to himself. Kirk can't make out everything that is being said but he is sure he heard "grey hairs" and "gaddamn Vulcans."
Kirk's left hand brushes it's way through his short blond hair and then settles at the back of his neck, where he begins to massage it.
"Look Bones, it's fine. He doesn't know anything. We have our epic friendship and that is good enough for me. He has Uhura anyway. Why would he want me?"
This time it is McCoy's turn to shift his gaze away and look just plain uncomfortable. He mumbles something that Kirk doesn't quite catch.
"What was that Bones?"
McCoy looks at him with a bit of a 'deer caught in headlights' look.
Jim wonders what Bones is about to say that would make him so hesitant. Bones never hesitates to speck his mind and that is kind of scaring him. Kirk just knows that some epic shit is about to be said.
"Spock and Uhura broke up two months ago. Right about the time you were captured and tortured by that supposedly peaceful government."
The doctor shoots a glare at his patient.
"Oh! And let's not forget how you tricked the landing crew , which included Spock, into beaming back on board without you! Uhura and Spock had a huge blow-out because we were ordered to leave you but Spock refused. They broke up shortly after we got you back."
Kirk has a question in his eyes but McCoy cuts in before he can voice it.
"The reason I know they broke up is because they did it not two goddamn feet from where you are lying. Spock wouldn't leave your side to have a private conversation with her and she just sort of cracked. It cant be easy being placed third by your own boyfriend."
Kirk's brow creases in confusion.
McCoy sighs. A deep sigh that tells the Captain that McCoy really doesn't want to be having this conversation.
"In that hobgoblins brain it is you, the Enterprise and, if he has any spare time, Uhura. Does that sound right to you? She is his fucking girlfriend for christsake!"
McCoy's face seems to be turning blue and Kirk just wants to lighten the mood so that McCoy doesn't have a heart attack and come back to haunt him. Because Bones would so do that.
"We have no proof that they they were actually fucking."
He gives Bones a sly little wink but by the glare Jim is receiving, he can assume that his joke was NOT appreciated.
"Shut up Jim!"
That clinches it.
Then McCoy sighs again as if what he is about to say will cause him actual physical pain.
"Jim, what I am trying to say is that you really need to stop trying to die for Spock because if you manage to actually do it, you might just break his cold Vulcan heart."
No one ever said Kirk was very good at reading between the lines and right now he can't even see the lines.
"What are you saying?"
The anger and frustration returns to the CMO's face so fast and so completely that it was hard to believe they ever left his face in the first place.
"I'm a doctor, not your own personal gaddamn magic eight ball! When I release you, you are to go and find that first officer of yours and sort this crap out. I am staying out of it. I can't make it any clearer than I have been, you brainless monkey!"
Kirk gives the doctor a dark expression as he clenches his fists that are by his side. He just doesn't understand what the hell is going on.
"I beg to differ. You haven't made anything clear."
McCoy points to the Captain in annoyance.
"Oh shut it and focus on healing! The sooner you heal the sooner you can talk to your lover boy."
Before Kirk can throw one of his pillows at his supposed friend, the doctor stomps out of the door.
Jim looks around the empty sickbay and slumps pathetically into his pillows.
"What the hell am I missing?"
The only answer he gets is the beeping of the medical equipment near his bed.