Sorry for not updating regularly. I've been having major writer's block.

The Pains of a Woman


Kyle hated to admit it but she was wrong. So very wrong. Everything got worse and worse. The last couple of days had been hell for her and nearly everyone around her. It seemed that her new change of hormones have had a negative effect on her. Kyle had become extremely emotionally unstable, from going to very happy to clinically depressed to raving angry nearly every day, causing many around her to be afraid of setting her off. Cartman wasn't kidding when he made that comment about her PMSing.

Despite Kyle's newfound neurosis, many friends and family helped her with the situation. Sheila and Gerald have given her many books and feminine items. Although she was grateful, Kyle hated how she had to be on birth control. According to her mother, her hormones were out of control at the moment so Sheila thought it would be best for Kyle to be on the pill. Kyle found the pills rather annoying, having to take them every day. Kyle supposed it was just as important as her insulin.

Stan helped greatly as well. He had made it clear that he and Kyle were still friends and that Kyle being a girl wouldn't change that. Stan still had trouble getting over the fact that Kyle was now a bit touchy-feely, cringing whenever she tried to hug or hold him. Other boys did their best to include Kyle. They were a little off put by her girliness though. Like whenever she played basketball with the others, she'd give the winning team victory hugs. Some felt uncomfortable, others, namely Kenny and Craig, enjoyed the female attention.

Kyle was the most surprised when the girls offered to help her with her feminine side. They invited her to sleepovers where they discussed about how to make Kyle a girl without removing the fact that she was still Kyle Broflovski, the Jewish boy with fiery red hair and attitude. Some sleepovers involved trying out clothes that suited Kyle's personality, others showing her how to practice feminine etiquette. Kyle felt a little sad that the girls' efforts were going to go to waste due to Pandora trying to find a reverse spell to change her back into a boy. She liked being included though.

Kyle had to say that the transformation from being a boy to a girl was an incredible one. She still looked the same, now with a smaller build. She had given a good look at herself in the bathroom one night. She saw that nothing about her body except for obvious factors had changed. She still resembled her father only with a more feminine look. She still had her skinny build albeit a slight more curvy now.

She noted of the changes of her body. She had rather small breasts, making look like she was malnourished or anorexic. She didn't like that fact. Kyle felt no need to get implants though. If they were small, let them be that way. Besides she wasn't going to be a girl much longer. What fascinated Kyle the most was her newfound vagina. It felt rather different not having something dangle between her legs. She used a mirror to get a good look at it. It amazed her how it looked. It was pink and looked like a second mouth to her. It was something that Kyle wondered if she was going to miss when she gets turned back to a boy.

Kyle played with her barrette, something that the girls have given her. She wondered what other things will change now that's she's a girl. She wondered if she will be a lesbian or go after guys. What she didn't think about before seemed important to her now. She thought about her past when she was still a boy. She remembered being interested in girls. She supposed she would be a lesbian until she thought how lately she's been taking a recent noticing of guys.

Maybe she's bisexual?

She sighed. 'Why hasn't Stan called me?' Kyle thought.

'Sure I yelled at him for taking the last pudding cup but were still friends.'

Kyle collapsed on her bed. She wondered how long she was going to be a girl. Sure she was amused on the changes of her body but she wanted to be a boy again. No more stupid pills and weird feelings for boys.

She got up as her mother opened the door.

"Kyle, honey. A friend of yours is here. He said that he wanted to talk to you."

"Kay, let him in."

Kyle smiled a bit. Stan was always the best. Her smile dropped as she saw Cartman enter her room. What the fuck?

"Okay, I'll let you to talk. Call me if you need anything kids."

When Sheila was out of earshot, Kyle spat at Cartman.

"What the hell are you doing here asshole?" She seethed. She was still pissed on how Cartman was the cause of her becoming a girl.

"Shut up, Jew. I'm not here to fight."

"Then what are you doing here?"

Cartman massaged his temples. Man was the Jew annoying as hell with her screeching tone.

"Listen, I know you're still pissed at me. It's just that I wanted to tell you that there's going to be a party at Craig's house and I wanted to see if you'll go with me to it."


"What are you talking about?"

"Listen, because of those damn pussy whipping classes and my mom bugging me to apologize to you I was thinking that… well, we'd go to a party together."

"You mean like… on a date?"

Cartman flushed.

"Yeah, w-when you put it that way."

This was unbelievable. Eric Cartman, certified asshole and Jew hater asking Kyle on a date? Has Hell frozen over?

"Don't think that I like you or anything Jew. It's just a way to apologize on what happened. So don't think I'm getting soft or anything."

Kyle rolled her eyes. What an idiot.

"Sure I'll go to the party with you. Don't you dare do any funny stuff while we're there asshole."

Cartman shrugged.

"Whatever Jew. I'm just doing what those bitches at that stupid class want me to do."

Cartman left leaving Kyle to herself. Ike went inside Kyle's room looking at her as if she was crazy.


"Kyle, are you insane? Don't you realize what you just did?"

Kyle raised an eyebrow.

"What are you talking about?"

"You just let Eric Cartman take you on a date. That's crazy on anyone's account!"

"It's not going to be a real date, Ike. It's just going to be us going to a party together. Nothing romantic or anything. Besides it's just Cartman's lame way of apologizing to me. I just want to see how badly he'll mess it up."

"Whatever, just don't say I didn't warn you."

Ike left the room. Kyle huffed. Cartman taking her on a date? Yeah right. She just can't wait to see how badly he'll mess up. He'll probably try to kiss her ass, failing miserably when she tried to make him do the most ridiculous requests. She can't wait to see how pissed he'll get.

At that moment Kyle felt something. She wasn't sure what it was. It was probably pity or something because she thought of the most impossible thing she could ever think of. What if Cartman really tried to be nice to her on the date? No. That's something that can't possibly happen. This is Cartman, the biggest asshole in South Park. Why would he try to do anything that won't benefit him?

Kyle shook her head. She must be tired. She's not thinking straight.

She layed on her bed. She closed her eyes. As she started to doze off she thought about Cartman actually trying to do something remotely loving on their date.

Yeah right. Like that'll ever happen.

Eh. I don't like this chapter very much. I may try to re-write it. Also, remember to give critques!