It was grey today, the sky, random rays of sun clearly peaking out here and there, it would fit Bella's mood perfectly. She had awoken with a mission that morning, her mind clear and set, an unknown force guided her to the city.
The beautiful city she had called home since her fiancee had returned from the long war. The beautiful city in which she had single handedly ended the most precious thing in her life and wallowed in sorrow in its beautiful park. The beautiful city in which she had spent countless hours wandering and finding the all the nooks and crannies. The beautiful city in which she had originally met him. The beautiful city in which he had proposed. And The beautiful city that held her mission in mind.
It was May 1st a beautiful day for a walk she had decided that morning, it had been enough to get her out of her friend's apartment, there hadn't been a destination in mind. But as she had walked under the long shades the structures could provide her only one stood out to her the most.
It was her destination she decided. She walked proud and tall towards it, its luminous shape was welcoming, her pocket bag was safely tucked under her arm, and her heels made a delectable click clack noise. She looked down at her hand which nervously clutched her red skirt, her ring finger mocked her. And her white scarf with its neat little bow seemed to choke her suddenly as if the necklace underneath wanted vengeance.
The building loomed closer and she smiled, it got wider as she neared it. The sun had really begun to peak out, the random rays were forgotten and it was beginning to shine down on her small frame with full force, as if warning her. Of what, she wasn't sure.
They had named the Empire State Building the largest structure in the world and the 1,000 plus feet had always made her head spin, he had wanted to propose here of that she knew, but her fear of such heights had impeded him from doing so. It was sign number one she decided.
She was walking directly under its shadow now, it welcome her almost as if it had arms, telling her to come in and make herself at home. The busy New Yorkers were forming a busier crowd now, bumping her to and fro, she didn't make a comment only offered small, 'its alright, thank you.' Her smile was still present, and most people that she encountered would have her image forever engrained in their heads that day on May the 1st.
She in her red pencil skirt, and neat white button up, with a matching red jacket to go over her white blouse, white shoes clad her dainty feet, and white gloves completed her ensemble of perfect innocence, of a classical beauty, of a rising sophisticated woman, her brown loose curls could help shade their opinions as well. As she walked they just stared and wondered if they would ever see a beauty such as her again.
Bella Marie Swan finally entered the building, the one she had always secretly wanted to enter but had always been too afraid too, fear was at the back of her mind today, she felt indestructible. Her pocketbook was still in hand and she suddenly had an urge to open it as she climbed into the rarely empty elevator, her destination at that moment would be floor eighty six, she decided. It would lead her to observe the walking few down below, and the number felt right to her, it called to her, it was silly the concept. Her fingers delicately looked through the contents of her pocket book, it wasn't too full, a couple of dollars enough to get her a lunch and dinner if she decided to eat out. Her floor dinged and the man who manned the elevator tipped his hat at her and offered her a shy smile, her smile came back full force and she found herself handing a dollar tip.
"Have a nice day," he told her softly.
Bella nodded, blood pumped through her veins it would be a good day.
She hesitated at the double doors that led to the observer of floor eighty six, she could not back down now, her life had always been full of back outs, but not today. Today she would confront her fears head on, she would not stop for anyone in the world. She felt all air leave when she first stepped out, it was chilly and she was glad she had worn her red jacket, she tightened it around her, the sun was facing her. Winking at her softly, as if they shared secrets with the other.
She began to feel sick and decided to sit down, just knowing she was high above the bustling city made her woozy. She opened her pocket book then, the contents spilled out on the cool gray ground, her make up, and old pictures that she would forever treasure.
The one with her mother, the one that changed the course of her life in a matter of five days. She was two or three when it was taken, her mother's eyes were alight with joy even if the picture was grainy and black and white, the sheer joy was seen with her only daughter cradled in her arms. A bow was on her head, and chubby legs were held in her mother's arms. Her hands were clapping as she showed a mouthful of two teeth.
Her mother's hair covered a part of her small shoulder as she looked down at her daughter, it was the last picture Bella had of her mother, and she treasured it with all she had and more. But today her eyes were hard as she looked at it, this picture had been the reason she committed her irrational decision five days ago, that made her write a note four days ago, and that she was looking at currently in her hand. Her hands shook, fighting the urge to rip it apart.
She would forever love it.
Even with her last breath.
Her eyes looked at another one that had fallen, she bent down and picked it up. Her lips ghosted over Edward – her love. He had been her fiancee, and she had given it up in a matter of seconds. Broken off their engagement and left him at the park with a torn expression. All because she had looked at her mother's picture. Renee had always been a wandering soul, and one day she just left, never looking behind her as she left her twenty seven year old father and a two year old daughter, she never came back, and never wrote a letter. All that was left was one photograph that showed happier times.
Her mother had never been content anyways, her father always had said 'Renee was jittery and anxious to get out and about, a small town life had never made her happy.'
She couldn't blame her mother at the age of sixteen she had left her small town and moved to the nearest city – San Francisco. She hadn't looked back either.
Edward had been the best thing she ever had, and she ended it all through insecurities, she hadn't looked back at him or even tried to answer any telegrams he might have been sending her. She hadn't even talked to his sister-her best friend for over three days. And it was killing her, but today she didn't care. Not today on May 1st, 1947.
She looked further on the ground, there it was the little note-crumpled but seemingly grinning at her, winking at her, calling to her.
'He would be so much better off without me...I wouldn't make a good wife for anybody.'
The words were scratched out but clearly visible, the night she wrote that, she cried for hours that night knowing the words were true. Her fear was to be like her mother and leave Edward behind with a beautiful daughter or son that would forever remind him of something he had lost. Her conversation with him the last two times.
She had taken the train to Eaton, Pa, he was studying there a university man trying to make a name for himself. And as she saw him standing there under the trees him brightly smiling at her for fleeting moments could she see them in old age, in the same position. He had given her a beautiful gold locket on the inside pictures of them.
He hadn't be able to afford it on his own, even from his money from the war, his parents must have helped him, she had not asked either. He hugged her as she neared him and spun her around, his smile reaching his beautiful green eyes, and his copper colored hair that she just loved to run her hands through.
He had told her, "Bella darling, I can't imagine us having to travel miles to see each other, I know its sooner than expected and we planned for December but lets get married before the end of May. I have it all planned out we'll use my salary from the army to pay for a small apartment as I get my doctors."
He rattled on about his plans, his eyes had that far away stare, he was planning – he was seeing their future. And shock could only run through her, her mind was in a mess and jumble, she had always wanted this.
His eyes bore into her, "I would have thought you'd be more excited."
Her eyes quickly lit up, "oh yes Edward, I'm just thinking about all the arrangements I have to make back in New York."
Her excuse had worked and before long he had been prattling about all their plans, sadness had covered her body in a cocoon, and when she left on the train that night giving him a kiss, it had never tasted so bitter.
Then a few days ago he surprised her at her apartment.
They had gone for a walk in Central Park the gentile breezes had swirled across them all afternoon, their hands entwined and her ring shining brightly, it was his pride and joy. Their conversation had reached the apartments Edward had glanced at in PA, excitement was ever evident in his eyes, he always trying to make her happy and he had always succeeded, there had never been a doubt in her mind that they wouldn't grow old together.
But that day she had taken her hand out from his has and given him his ring and never looked back.
That night she had cried more so than any other time in her life, his broken expression had followed her and it made her cry all the harder. She hadn't understood why she would give it up as she had, but she did.
That night she had written her note and later crumpled it up, her thoughts forever on Edward and telegraphing him.
She never did.
But today she smiled, and clutched it to her chest. A small gust of wind tousled her hair and scarf around all about her. She hadn't seen the view yet. She looked down at the cars and the people walking from one thousand feet high she felt on top of the world, and maybe even more. She wanted to experience it she felt unstoppable from the height like she could do anything.
She looked down at her feet at the observatory, there was a only small fence that prevented her from feeling weightless. She took of her jacket and tossed it to the ground, her pocketbook lay forgotten on the cold ground, and her note her precious note that would reveal so much, she tossed it aside to the ground as well.
She took off her scarf her pure white scarf – the one Edward bought her soon after he returned home from Germany. Hopefully it would find its way back to him – where it belonged.
There was a thousand feet between her and defying gravity, and only a small fence stood in her way. She was indestructible today.
'Daddy I've always wanted to fly.'
She laughed softly as she remembered that day clear in her head.
Today was the day.
She would fly and be free.
After all she was Isabella Marie Swan and today on May 1st , 1947 she was unstoppable.
Read and Review
So what did you guys think?
If this sounds familiar then you've seen the pictures of Evelyn McHale which inspired this oneshot, if you guys haven't heard of it its really tragic, she really did commit suicide on May 1st, 1947 she jumped from the Empire State, and whats made her so famous is the way that she died, her body landed on a UN limo, and four minutes after her death a photographer came a took her picture after hearing the crash.
Her picture is depicts death in a lovely way, her facial expression is one of peace, and she looks heavenly almost as if she fell asleep that way.
Anyways I have the picture with more background information on it on my profile well tumblr which you can access through my profile, I have it linked.
But Review guys, I really want to know what you think.