This story was created as a place for me to post my Twilight drabbles in one spot. Most of them are Jacob/Bella, but I won't completely discount the possibility of another pairing showing up. Keep in mind that each drabble will have its rating listed at the top of the "chapter."
Title: The Sidewalk's End
Word Count: 862
Written For: thankthatstar in my Christmas drabble meme
"Just tell me!"
Jacob's fist slams against the steering wheel, and it jars Bella's heart inside her chest.
He's wild-eyed, a man with nothing left to lose (as far as he can figure, and Bella knows she won't be able to tell him otherwise). This isn't the closest they been—sitting in the cab of her truck as the rain pours so heavily on the windows it curtains the outside world away—but she feels physically closer with him in this moment than ever before. The future is crushing them from the front as the past presses in from the back, and this confrontation is inevitable.
"Jacob…I can't." Her voice cracks. "I don't know how to explain it."
He turns to her, angry and burning. "And what does that mean, Bella? You don't even know why you love him. This,"—he tosses his hands into the air—"isn't a fairytale. This is life, and you can't just go around doing things because they make you feel good. There isn't some benevolent force out there who's gonna magically clean up all your messes so that your bad decisions don't effect anyone else."
She hates that he can make her feel like a child—not by treating her like one but by acting like the adult she's not. She's lost, and he knows it. "You don't need reasons to love someone, Jake. You just do and—"
"Why do you love me?"
Bella blinks, tries to hold on to her righteousness which is slipping like sand through her trembling fingers. "What?"
"You love me," he says, and Bella won't—can't—dispute. "Tell me why."
He's not fishing for compliments; he's fishing for her sanity. It's the only reason Bella takes a calming breath and replies truthfully.
"I love your smile. It's sort of beautiful, and it makes me want to smile to."
She looks away toward the rippling windshield, hands clutched together in her lap. Truth is painful. Every word feels like a knife plunged into Edward's back.
"I love that when it's just the two of us, you're sweet and hold my hand. You drop your mask, and I feel your warmth like I used to. I love that you know me. You care what I think, and you you're not afraid to break me. But really…it's because when I'm around you, I feel good. Really good. Strong. I feel like I'm enough, like I could be happy this way."
She risks looking at him then. His eyes are distant, and she sees bit and pieces of a future reflected in them. It's a future she's seen before, one that haunts her dreams. Two dark-haired children, running…
"How does Edward make you feel?" Jacob can barely say his name.
Bella exhales in relief. She knows the answer to this one by heart. And it doesn't hurt. "He makes me feel…"
But her tongue goes still. She wants to say many things. Amazing. Wonderful. Special. Happy. Complete.
They are all words that sound contrived, hollow. Jacob would ask her how he makes her feel wonderful. He wouldn't understand. And, suddenly, Bella suddenly doesn't understand either.
She loves Edward because he makes her feel…because…because he…
Well, Edward does lots of wonderful things. He cares about her, he showers her with adoration, he says he loves her, he spends time with her, and most importantly he's promised her forever. What other reasons does she need? What are reasons next to feelings? So what if she knows why she loves Jacob and not why she loves Edward?
What matters is she's made up her mind about what she wants, and it's too late to second guess.
According to who?
The cab is too small. The thoughts in her head overflow and crowd the space. Her hands turn clammy, fingers twisting together with unanswerable questions.
Jacob's watching her knowingly. Of course he's one step ahead, has been for months. And all this time he's been yelling over his shoulder for her to keep up. She hadn't even realized she'd stopped moving.
"I would do anything," he says quietly, but she knows it's meant to be a scream. Jacob Black is screaming at her to open her eyes. But he's been screaming at her for months, and it hasn't done either of them any good.
Why does today feel different?
"I would do anything to keep you here."
Their eyes meet. Inevitably.
"I want to see you happy, Bells. But I also want to see you alive and living a full life. Under the sun. So tell me,"—he takes her hand in his—"what I can do to make you stay."
She stares at pale surrounded by russet, at soft surrounded by callused, at cool surrounded by warm, at small surrounded by large, at Bella surrounded by Jacob. And she knows why this feels so good.
The next breath she takes is not a labored one. "Anything?"
Somehow her voice doesn't shake as she says, "Will you go away with me? Away from here? Right now?"
The key turns. The engine roars. "Where to?"
Bella peers into the rain but doesn't see it. "Where the sidewalk ends."
AN: Feedback is always appreciated. Thank you for reading. :)