Summary: AU. Sam is struggling to cope with his anger, and his girlfriend is on the receiving end most of the time. Soon, Sam starts to get violent, and when his lover turns to his older brother, it gets even worse. Please R&R!

Disclaimer: I don't own Supernatural or its characters. I only own my OC.

A/N: I hope you enjoy this update! I'm trying my best to fulfil my schedule but things keep getting in the way! It's annoying me so badly. I've missed two fics today which I'll try and do when possible. This update has a shocker of a twist. Hope you like!


Because Of You, I Am Afraid


Oh, God...Oh, God...Oh, fucking God!

Sam lay next to Ruby, who was sleeping soundly beside him, one hand on his forehead as he stared at the ceiling. He was so worried about what he'd just done, he felt sick to his stomach. He'd cheated on the girl he was desperately trying to get back. How stupid was he for doing that? They'd not even worn anything...Oh, fuck, no! What if Ruby was pregnant? He wanted to just call Lily and tell her, confess to what he'd just done. But he couldn't bring himself to. He'd hurt her enough.

He had a session with Pamela the next day and he knew he'd have to tell her the truth about what he'd just done with Ruby. As if he hadn't fucked up enough.

"What am I gonna do?" He whispered, scrubbing his hands over his face.

Dean stroked Lily's hair gently as she settled against the pillows of his bed, dabbing her head gently as her fever coursed through her slowly and painfully. He was questioning calling Sam but she'd said no, although she told him that if necessary, he could call Sam.

"Shhh..." He whispered gently as she mumbled uncomfortably while he dabbed her head again.

This fever had come on rather suddenly over a couple of days, and a few times Dean had questioned calling a doctor or going to the hospital with her. Her parents were coming over and he was seriously thinking about calling Sam. Dean reckoned it was her separation with Sam that had been the cause of her becoming ill, and she hadn't been herself since Sam had viciously beaten her. The stress of everything was probably taking it's toll in the form of flu and fever, but Dean was going to do his best to behave as an older brother and take care of her properly.

The knocking at the door alerted him and he ran to it to answer it. Ray and Fiona stood on the other side, both looking incredibly concerned as Dean showed them in.

"She's in my room." He told them, "You know how sickness affects her better than me..."

The two headed to the bedroom and Fiona rushed to Lily's side, touching her daughter's head and gasping at the temperature of it.

"Dean, I need that wash cloth," She began, indicating the cloth in his hand, "You need to tell Sam what state she's in. I think it's only right that he matter what he's done to her."

She looked to her husband and sighed, looking between him and Dean.

"I think it would be best if we call a doctor."

Dean nodded and grabbed his coat and keys, heading straight out to Lily and Sam's apartment. He didn't particularly want Sam within an inch of Lily, and her parents probably didn't either, but given how ill she was, her parents quite rightly said that Sam had the right to know. He was there within minutes, banging on the door and begging to be let in. Had he known what his brother had done with Ruby at that point he would've turned his back and left, but since he was totally oblivious to Sam's cheating, he decided to do the decent thing and tell his brother what was happening.

Sam didn't take the news well at all, and after Dean what he did to calm Sam down without him having a panic attack, the elder brother drove the younger one to his apartment. And Sam was met by Ray grabbing him and hurling him into the wall, Dean had to restrain Lily's father and shut him out of the room while they set the fan off, and all Sam was met with from Fiona was pained, disappointed eyes.

"You beat my daughter, Sam Winchester." She sighed, "That's unforgivable. I can't believe that you, of all people, would do that to her."

"Fiona, I'm so sorry..." Sam began, "I lost control of my anger, it's all my fault and I'm doing what I can to make it right. Please, believe me..."


Sam looked towards the bed, as everyone else did, his eyes meeting Lily's and filling with tears. She looked so ill, more ill than he'd ever seen her and his instinct was to go and lay beside her where she needed him to be.

"I'm right here, Lily." He whispered, "You're gonna be okay...Right?"

Lily turned her face towards his and he kissed her forehead tenderly, hearing her whimper in discomfort as her mother dabbed her head. The doctor came quickly and examined Lily, stabilising her temperature the best he could before informing her parents and the brothers on how to keep her at a consistent, normal temperature. Fiona and Ray left while Dean stayed and kept a watchful eye on Sam. The angry boy seemed to have gone and was replaced by a much softer, more tentative one. He continued to dab Lily's forehead and he pressed kisses to her hair, he told her stories and let her rest when she needed to.

Dean actually believed that perhaps Sam had changed, and that maybe his therapy really was helping him. He encouraged him to continue and as he spent time with Lily, he encouraged her to go with Sam to the couple's counselling. The only problem Dean had with the situation was that he fell more in love with Lily the longer that she was in his care, and a few times Dean knew he'd overstepped the mark, like he'd kissed her head too much or he'd kissed her lips once when she was sleeping.

He needed to get control over himself for Lily's and Sam's sakes.

"We need to talk." Ruby said at college the following week, "It's urgent, Sam."

"What do you want?" Sam spat, earning tearful eyes from Ruby.

She looked frightened and pale, and as she gazed up at him she couldn't stop her tears from falling. She grabbed his hand and put it to her stomach, resting her head on his shoulder.

"I'm pregnant, Sam..."

Horror flooded Sam's system. He blinked slowly, feeling slight faintness cross over him for a moment as he took in Ruby's words. He'd gotten her pregnant? No, no, no...This was too much...On top of everything else, this was too much.

"I don't want to abort it either." She told him, "You have to tell Lily the truth..."



Hope you enjoyed!

Thanks for reading so far!