TITLE: I Need A Doctor
DISCLAIMER: Not mine
A/N: Love the River/Simon sibling relationship. Also love this song. Figure it's kinda fitting.
I'm about to lose my mind, you've been gone for so long, I'm running out of time.
Another intrusion, leeching into her brain, taking parts of her Self and replacing it with the constant stream of Other. Another scream ignored, another moment of blinding pain as they forced themselves inside her again and again, stealing her memories, her words, her soul with every vile, acid laced touch. She cannot survive this, knows she will have to shut down, knows she will have to end this before they can put her to use.
I need a doctor.
She needs him, needs him to come, to find her, to understand the mundane ramblings of her letters for what they truly are; a cry for help. She knows her parents will be no assistance, knows they won't believe him, won't want to believe him, won't want her back. She knows what she has asked of him, knows their future will change.
Call me a doctor.
It's for the best. It will be hard and painful, but she knows it's for the best. At least…she used to. Now she barely knows up from down, barely understands if this reality is in fact present or merely another vision of something else, another splintered view they have injected into her. She sees so many, some are beautiful; a metal home, a crew of blood spattered warmth, a future in strong arms, cigar smoke and gun oil. A future where the creatures who have done this to her are reduced to ash by a single message, a voice crying out in the darkness, revealing the terrible truth.
She sees this reality.
She also sees another, one where he comes for her and fails, is riddled with bullet holes and thrown on a lonely pyre. Yet another where he succeeds and they cannot find peace, love, serenity, cannot escape the clutches of her captors, cannot run from the blue hands.
In that reality his face goes blank as he bleeds from every orifice, and she is finally put to their greatest use; destruction.
I need a doctor,
These men, these things, they call themselves doctor but they are not. They do not smile or enquire about her health, they do not seek to aid or support. They seek only the glowing pile of cashy credits that their latest experiment will provide them with. A real doctor is coated thickly in familial warmth, sibling solidarity. A real doctor hides with her under sheet forts and sneaks her the advanced texts and holds her when it all becomes too powerful, too painful to know the secrets, to see her through their parents eyes.
A real doctor calls her mei mei, every syllable laced in affection and protective love.
How can she ask this of him if she is not sure? Did she ever ask at all? The days and months have run into years and the River Tam who entered the Academy is now little more than a number on a holo screen. Though she feels it strongly, the inevitable need to end this on her own terms, to finish it before they can do so themselves, still there is a tingle. An aching inkling in the back of her brutalized mind. A voice, calm and steady as it enquires as to the latest subject.
To bring me back to life.
There is a blur of time and suddenly he's there, holding her as she exits the cryo chamber screaming, naked and alive and reborn. She looks around, feeling the coldness of the metal and the warmth of her hero, her brother, her doctor. Peace, love, Serenity.
They have found a home.
Her doctor has come for her.
And slowly, surely, she is being brought back to life.