N/A: Ah. MattMello. I'm a fangirl. My friend hates me for being absorbed by these (and Near's) pretty faces but well, it's not my fault they're so darn awesome? I don't own Death Note. Also, sorry for the ending, I didn't know how to end it properly. You may like the ending, you may not (:
What you feel for me is a gift — MattMello
Fingers entwined, legs wrapped and skin touching skin, it's the moment. Pressing life to its limit, where it's not you but us, not alone in the world that simply turns to the only ending existing in humans' transparent lives. It's telling without words, a good-night story from your childhood containing warm memories, a time where everything was okay. Today it isn't. Life is harsh, pulling the gun to your head, the bullet pushing through thin flesh, it ends there. Life is vulnerable, a string easily cut and nothing will remain, everything will be lost. A last moment, of passion and delight and then nothing more. Humans are mortal, humans die and no one cares. Life moves on, it always does.
Thin, dry lips catch warmer ones, licking the taste of passion, taste of human, taste of him. Mello can never get enough, only not enough, not satisfying. But he doesn't do this for lust, raw passion demonstrating power, his ability to control him since their relationship has passed that level, it's more now, it's them. The lust, the passion still lingers there, like a thin tread soon enlighten with one touch, with one promise but it's not enough anymore. They know it soon will be over. Life isn't certain. For either of them.
It scares him, a fright clawing inside his cold skin, gnawing and wanting, soon capitulated. He thought he wasn't afraid and in some way he isn't—he does this for justice but not solely; he does it for Near. He wants to surpass Near. Deep inside it shames him, he fights unfair and brings Matt on the ride but he can't stop. It's too late. The ball is rolling; it's only a waiting-game until the reality stops spinning. Living is by no means certain—death is. Coming closer, aiming and slowly spreading it's virus through veins, through blood. And it's his fault.
He lays his gloved fingers in thick coppery hair, nestling through straight milfoils, pulling Matt's face closer, trying to get more, get everything. The next day it can be over. No one knows. Teeth clash into teeth, tongues dance and Matt breaks free, a string of saliva bonding them together before he kisses Mello again while legs are pressed harder around Mello's waist, scared that he might slip through the grip and up to the air.
Someday he might. You can never know anymore. Someday it's a memory, a blissful, colored one but still a memory. That's why he wants everything from Matt now, everything. Every inch of his skin, his eyes, his promises, his breaths. Normally he isn't like this, he doesn't trust people but he trusts Matt. Matt stays even when the building is set on fire, flames catching wood and erasing it to powder—he remains. He accepts Mello for what he is, even with his flaws. Even with his sins. Matt is a gift from heaven, personal and warm but still a challenge, still with sarcasm dripping from his voice like poison slipping through the snake's teeth and Mello might lose it. But not now. Not at this moment.
"My, you're awfully clingy today Mels, what's up?"
A soft growl and hands on stripped shoulders. "Shut up, Matt."
Sometimes words aren't enough, sometimes words only cover the bland truth and blurry the vision with fog. He catches Matt's mouth again, pulling closer, throwing in the towel and bringing it close to an end. He needs him to be here, to feel him, he will always be everything. Everything isn't enough. Matt is his life, more and less, whatever Kira does, whatever Near does, whatever he does.
"Mello…" Matt squeaks due to the lack of air and breaks free again, snaking his arms around Mello's chest and leans closer, chin resting on one leathered shoulder. "I love you."
"I hate you," he replies and places a hand on Matt's neck, tickling with one long nail.
Matt laughs and Mello feels his chest burning at the familiar sound. "Fair enough!"
Love is fragile. Matt is fragile. Mello doesn't want to lose him. He can't lose him. The thought is pain.
But somehow he still thinks he will.