A/N: This was written for a prompt on the Glee Angst Meme. I hope you enjoy it! Let me know what you think?
Original Prompt found here: http:/ .com/ glee_angst_meme/ ? thread=8959254#t8959254 (just take out the spaces)
A/N2: Betaed by the wonderful Emberwillow14!
Is It Coincidence?
Rachel had once told him that it didn't matter how far down on the list of potential couplings she was; it would always be higher than him because she was a girl.
And it was true, in the case of Finn.
Kurt had always known, deep down inside, that there was no real chance of Finn liking him. It was a simple fact: Finn Hudson was as straight as a guy could get. And he had really tried telling himself that it wouldn't work out after that whole makeover fiasco that happened with Rachel, but it was hopeless. Kurt was smitten by the giant teen.
He wanted to blame Finn for everything; if Finn hadn't been even fractionally nicer than the other jocks, Kurt wouldn't have fallen for him. If Finn hadn't joined glee, Kurt wouldn't have gotten to know him better and figured out he was really a pretty nice guy. If Finn had expressed his discomfort with Kurt's crush, Kurt wouldn't have gone all creepy-set their parents up to get closer-stalkerish on him.
But Kurt knew everything was, for the most part, his own damn fault. He realized that he had overstepped certain bounds in his desperate attempt to be not so alone. And that wasn't okay. Not by a long shot.
All it had taken was a single word carelessly thrown around.
Finn and Kurt were cool now. They considered each other brothers; family. Kurt was definitely over that silly (creepy) crush.
What really bothered him, though, was the fact that Rachel Berry was right. She did end up with Finn in the end, and it kind of made Kurt wonder just how right she was.
Kurt was sure everyone knew how much he liked Blaine. It wasn't really a secret. The Warblers made constant jokes about how the "eye-sex" (whatever that is) was suffocating them all. Of course, they never said that in the hearing of the two boys. That they knew of . . .
Kurt had even told Mr. Shuester that he was in love with Blaine! That had to say something about how much he liked the older boy.
After the Gap Attack, and subsequent rejection of Blaine by Jeremiah, Kurt had confessed his feelings. Blaine was honestly shocked to hear that Kurt was "in love" with him. They had decided that, for the time being at least, it would be best for the both of them if they just remained friends.
Then Rachel Berry's party happened.
It had started out normal enough; everyone (except Finn and Kurt) got drunk and started dancing, singing, stripping, doing body shots. The type of things that usually happen at unsupervised teenage parties. Then Rachel suggested Spin the Bottle, and she ended up kissing Blaine.
Rachel Berry practically made out with Blaine barely a foot in front of Kurt's face. It had hurt, but Kurt knew they were both drunk and it didn't mean anything.
Except, apparently it did. Rachel ended up asking Blaine out on a date, and Blaine accepted.
Kurt had honestly never felt so hurt before. And by Rachel nonetheless, Rachel, who knew that he really liked Blaine and, now that they were actually really good friends, still asked him out. And by Blaine; his mentor, his rock, the one person he felt he could count on to actually know what it was like to be gay. That was hitting below the belt.
Now Kurt really didn't have anything against bisexuality. He really, truly didn't. But when Blaine started to question whether or not he was actually gay, Kurt felt as though something was being ripped away from him; something important. And he ended up saying some things he really regretted, and turning his back on one of his best friends when they really needed his support.
They didn't talk for a few days after that.
The next time that Kurt spoke to Blaine was at the Lima Bean, after Rachel had kissed him for the second time, and he had determined that he was gay. Blaine had gone off to the bathroom, leaving Rachel to hold his place in line. When Kurt had gone over to comfort Rachel after being rejected (she still was his friend, after all), she ran off to go write a song, leaving Kurt to hold the place in line.
Blaine was understandably surprised when he saw Kurt there instead of Rachel, and approached cautiously.
"What are you doing here?"
"Uh . . ." Kurt hesitated briefly before deciding to suck up his pride just this once. He missed his friend. "I wanted to apologize. To you. What I said was out of line, and I'm sorry I didn't support you in your time of need. Please forgive me?"
He couldn't help but feel hopeful, and it showed on his face and in his voice.
Blaine ran a hand through his heavily gelled hair before he replied. "It was hurtful, and disrespectful; the things you said. But . . . Yeah. I forgive you."
And just like that, they were friends again.
Though Kurt had to wonder again why he came after Rachel on the list.
Things were still a little awkward between Kurt and Blaine following the events of that week. They were trying to get their friendship back on track to what it used to be, though. But now Kurt was sure that there was really no chance of the older boy ever returning his feelings, especially after the fight.
It was their first time intentionally going out for coffee together (something that used to happen every day) since the fight. Kurt was at the till at the Lima Bean, waiting to order their drinks when he saw the new guy working at the till.
The nametag identified him as Sebastian. He had a handsome, narrow face which was covered with a light smattering of freckles. His copper red hair was cut short, and he had bright, light blue eyes. A crooked grin appeared on his thin lips as he quite blatantly raked his eyes up and down Kurt's body.
Kurt flushed a bright red as that grin widened.
"Hell-ooo." Sebastian drew out the second syllable. "What can I do for you today?"
Kurt stuttered a bit in shock at the obvious flirty tone that was used. "Uh, t-two medium drips. Please."
"Two?" the cashier raised an eyebrow in question as he rung in the order. "Is one for your boyfriend over there?" He nodded to the table where Blaine was sitting.
"NO!" Kurt blushed even more deeply as the exclamation came out a lot louder than he intended. "I mean, yes, it is for him. But, uh, he's not my boyfriend. We are just friends. Just friends."
The red-head smirked as he handed Kurt back his change. "Just friends, huh? Well, is there any boyfriend?"
Kurt just shook his head silently, still quite shocked at the very public flirtation.
"Hmmm." Sebastian hummed thoughtfully as he passed the two drinks to Kurt. "I hope to see you again soon, Gorgeous. Have a good day!"
Kurt walked slowly over to the table that Blaine snagged in a surprised daze. Of course, the older boy chose this moment to take notice of his flushed complexion and slightly unfocused eyes.
"Is something wrong?" Blaine asked immediately, straighting up and glancing towards the counter. "Did that new guy say something to you? We could go to the management and lodge a complaint, I you need to."
"There's no reason to go to the management, Blaine. I think," a small, happy smile crept onto Kurt's face. "I think he was flirting with me."
Kurt got another surprise that day when Blaine glared at the cashier. "He's much too old for you."
"He can't be much older than Jeremiah was!" Kurt snapped back. He regretted those words when he saw Blaine's hurt expression. "I'm sorry. But honestly, I don't think he can be much older than us."
Blaine muttered unintelligibly but decided to drop the subject. For the time being, at least.
Kurt was too busy planning the best way to tell Mercedes and Rachel about this new guy to notice Blaine's jealous glares directed at the red-headed boy behind the counter.
Mercedes came along the next time Kurt and Blaine went for coffee; she wanted to see Kurt's new crush for her self. She went with Kurt to the till to help her best friend figure out whether or not it was actual flirting.
"Hey there, Gorgeous. "Sebastian's clear blue eyes raked appreciatively over Kurt's body again (it was Saturday, so the countertenor was actually wearing his own tight designer clothing) and smirked. "You're looking particularly tasty today. Two medium drips, right?"
Kurt's face was beet-red. "Yes, and also a hot chocolate as well . . . and thank you; truthfully I'm glad to be out of the uniform for a change. It can get a little stifling."
"It doesn't show off your assets very well, that's for sure. " Sebastian chuckled as Kurt's blush deepened. "So is this lovely lady your girlfriend?"
Even Mercedes had to laugh at that. "Are you kidding me? My boy Kurt here obviously is not the 'girlfriend' type."
"I suspected that, but I didn't want to assume anything." Sebastian passed over the drinks. "You know, everyone assumes I'm completely straight."
"You're not?" Kurt squeaked, just to keep the conversation going.
"Ah." Was all Kurt could think of to say.
"Line's growing behind you, Gorgeous." Sebastian said suddenly. "See you again soon! Hopefully you'll be in those supremely awesome jeans again."
"So?" Kurt muttered to Mercedes softly as they sat down with Blaine. "Is he honestly flirting with me? Or am I making it all up in my head again?"
"Boy, I don't think he's flirting with you so much as trying to get inside those ridiculously tight jeans of yours!" Mercedes replied uneasily. "He was looking at you as though you were some kind of tasty treat!"
"So it wasn't all in my head?" Kurt couldn't keep the delighted smile from his face.
He didn't notice the worried look Mercedes and Blaine shared.
"Are you sure that curly-haired guy isn't your boyfriend?" Sebastian asked as he rung in Kurt's order.
"Blaine?" Kurt replied in surprise. "He's made it perfectly clear on several occasions that he only thinks of me as a friend. Why?"
"He came in alone yesterday and essentially called me a . . . cradle robber. I'm pretty sure he's jealous." The red-headed boy handed Kurt his change and grinned. "So am I?"
"Are you what?"
"Am I a cradle robber?" Sebastian leaned forward slightly to rest his forearms on the counter for a moment. "I'm nineteen, by the way."
"That makes you only two years older than me," Kurt giggled as he accepted the drinks when they were passed over. "I doubt that qualifies you to be a cradle robber."
"Good." Sebastian smiled and winked. "See you later, Gorgeous."
So it went on for a couple of weeks. Every time Kurt would go to get the coffees, Sebastian would very blatantly flirt with him. He told every one about his coffee shop cutie, including his father. That was by accident. But he was planning on asking Sebastian out. All he needed was a little support from his best friends.
Kurt, Blaine, and Mercedes were already there, and just waiting for Rachel to show up. They had already gotten their coffees, and Kurt was just trying to relax himself enough to actually go through with it.
Rachel came rushing in and slid to a stop by their table. "I'm so sorry I'm late! Did I miss it?"
Mercedes laughed. "No, not yet."
"Good," Rachel sighed in relief. "Okay, just let me go grab a coffee, and then you can go." She flounced off to the counter.
Ten five minutes later, she was back with a huge smile on her face. "That attractive red-head at the till just asked me out to dinner tomorrow night! Isn't that exciting?"
Kurt felt his heart sinking as Mercedes and Blaine shared a pained look.
"Ah, Rachel," Mercedes said softly, standing up beside the tiny brunette. "That was Sebastian. You know, the guy Kurt's been fawning over and was about to ask out?"
"Oh!" Rachel looked torn for a moment. "Well . . . I guess I could tell him that I can't go anymore . . ."
"Don't worry about it." Kurt surprised even himself with that response. "I mean, you already accepted; it would be rude to just cancel on him like that. Maybe I'll try another time."
Blaine wrapped a comforting (and strictly platonic) arm around Kurt's shoulders.
"What can I get for you?" Sebastian's voice was dull and flat, and he never really took his eyes off of the register.
Kurt was surprised at the lack of the usual greeting. "Two medium drips? Please?"
"Coming right up." Sebastian rung through the order and handed Kurt back his change without saying another word.
Kurt fidgeted uncomfortably until the drinks were passed over, then hurried over to his seat by Blaine. That was the most awkward encounter he has ever had, it seemed.
Rachel told him a few days later that she and Sebastian were "official".
And once again, Kurt came in after Rachel Berry.
Would he ever get to be first?
Dante was one of the few openly gay boys at Dalton. He was on the soccer team and the debate team. He was a senior, popular, and (if the rumours were to be believed) he was in the running to be the next valedictorian against David.
He was quite attractive as well; tall (though not as tall as Finn), slender, lithe. He had straight black hair that fell to just below his chin, and stormy grey eyes.
Kurt had heard of Dante, of course; had seen him around the school. He never really had a chance to talk to the older boy, though. He never really had a reason to; he wasn't friends with any of the upperclassmen beside those in the Warblers. Even then he wasn't truly friends with any besides Blaine. He had always thought that Dante seemed very friendly though, always smiling at him whenever they passed in the halls. He refused to look too much into that; know his luck it would inevitably lead to heartbreak.
So Kurt was immensely surprised one day while studying in the library. Dante slid gracefully into the seat across from him, that gorgeous smile on his lips. He was even more surprised when the older boy asked him out to dinner in a soft and friendly voice.
And thus began Kurt's first real, romantic relationship. Kind of. Maybe. At any rate, they went out on quite a few actual dates. Dates that included things like hand-holding and chaste good night kisses.
Kurt was a little scared that he had fallen in love with Dante. Not the same love he had claimed to feel for Finn, or Blaine, or even Sebastian. Dante was kind, and caring, and sweet. Kurt knew that if he wasn't in love with Dante now, it wouldn't be long before he would be.
The difference with this crush was that Kurt kept it quiet. He didn't tell any of his friends (especially not Rachel) about it. He really hoped that if he didn't tell anyone, nothing would go wrong.
He really should have known better.
Burt had given Finn permission to have a party to celebrate New Direction's win at Regionals on the condition that Kurt was allowed to invite a few of his friends from Dalton. Of course Kurt knew he would be inviting Blaine; everyone in his old glee club adored Blaine. Then once the others had found out Kurt was inviting people, he had received a text from Santana ordering him to invite "that cute, uptight Asian boy". And he figured he couldn't invite Wes without inviting David.
But the real dilemma he faced was whether or not to invite Dante. He did really want to introduce his new friend (and possible boyfriend) to certain members of New Directions (mostly Mercedes), but . . .
Rachel would be there. And with her record of somehow always going after the same guys as him, he really didn't want her to meet Dante.
Then Finn had mentioned that Rachel was bringing her boyfriend.
So Kurt had felt safe inviting Dante, being sure that there was no chance of Rachel stealing him away.
As the night of the party wore on, everything seemed to be going perfectly; Dante was hanging out with Finn and Artie talking about Call of Duty, Wes and David seemed to be enjoying themselves in the corner with Santana and Brittany, and Blaine was making a drunken fool of himself. Again.
Kurt was sitting on the couch with Mercedes, completely sober and laughing at everyone's drunken escapades when he noticed that Rachel's boyfriend was nowhere to be seen."
"I thought that Rachel was bringing Sebastian tonight," he remarked casually, scanning the room for the red-headed boy.
Mercedes shot him a surprised glance. "Didn't Rachel tell you? She broke up with him a couple of days ago."
"What?" Kurt sat up straighter as a deep sense of dread filled him inside. "They broke up? So Rachel is here alone?"
Mercedes just looked at him as though he were crazy. "Yeah. Is that a problem?"
Kurt was no longer paying attention to the other diva. His eyes swept around the living room again, desperately seeking out either Dante or Rachel.
Neither were anywhere in sight.
Kurt jumped off of the couch and, leaving a very confused Mercedes in his wake, rushed upstairs to see if either could be found. The past few experiences had taught him not to trust any guy he liked around Rachel. They would always inevitably choose her over him, just like she predicted lat year. And it hurt; it hurt that Rachel always seemed to go after the same guys as he did, and it hurt that those guys always wanted Rachel. Even the gay ones. He didn't want to have to worry about introducing guys to any single one of his friends because he was just so frightened that the guy would like her more, or vice versa.
Kurt froze as he reached the top of the stairs and felt as though he had just been slushied. Barely three feet from the top of the stairs, in the dark hall, was the image of his (current) worst nightmare. Dante was leaning back against the wall with Rachel pressing up against his front, their lips locked together in a frantic and wet sounding kiss.
Kurt felt as though a tiny piece of his heart died.
As he watched, unable to move or even make a sound due to shock and hurt, Rachel pulled away slightly to mutter in Dante's ear. Kurt could just barely make out the words.
"We should go out sometime, just the two of us. What do you think?"
"Yeah, sure. Whatever," the older boy slurred, that stupid, still gorgeous smile shining on his face.
Rachel grinned brightly before throwing her arms around Dante's neck and resuming their kiss.
Kurt felt his body suddenly unfreeze and he stumbled forward into the wall noisily, causing the couple in front of him to jump apart.
"Don't let me interrupt you," he hissed venomously, sudden rage and hurt flooding through his body. "I'm just going to my room."
Kurt pushed past the stunned new couple swiftly and rushing into his bedroom. He managed to resist the urge to slam the door shut; instead he managed to shut it softly before locking it. As the burning tears finally flowed down his cheeks, he slumped to the ground.
Downstairs the party raged on.
The next morning Kurt held his cell phone between his ear and shoulder, waiting for his best friend to answer while he held a garbage bag open for Finn.
Kurt smiled slightly when he heard Mercedes' cheerful voice. "I wanted to apologize for running out on you last night. I wasn't feeling well."
"You weren't even drinking though!" Mercedes laughed loudly. "Don't worry about it; Blaine dragged me up to dance with him shortly after you left."
"Sounds like a lot of fun." Kurt had to laugh at the image presented in his mind. "Still, how about I make it up to you? I have to finish helping Finn clean up, but I could meet you at the Lima Bean in about an hour?"
"Sounds like a plan!"
An hour and thirteen minutes later, Kurt entered the small cafe. He saw Mercedes sitting at a table in the corner and sitting beside her . . .
Kurt froze at the sight of the tiny brunette girl. He had been hoping to be able to avoid her until he had time to cool down fully, and prepare himself to NOT rip her hair out. He briefly considered running out and cancelling, but he knew it was too late for that. The two girls had already seen him and were waving him over.
So he did the best thing he could think of in that situation; he pasted a fake smile on his face and made his way over to slide across the table from them.
"I wasn't expecting to see you here, as well," Kurt said to Rachel, please with how pleasant his voice came out. It barely shook at all.
"I forgot I already promised to hang out with Rachel today," Mercedes answered brightly. "So I just brought her along; I figured you wouldn't mind."
"That party last night was amazing!" Rachel started gushing, her brown eyes gleaming. "Just what I needed to forget about Sebastian. Your friend Dante is such a great guy, and an even better kisser! There was just this instant connection between us; I knew that he was the perfect guy for me! We're going out later this week too. I gave him my phone number so now I'm just waiting for him to call me and let me know when he's free!"
Kurt felt something inside of him snap and before he even realized what he was doing, he was on his feet and heading out the door. The only thing he was absolutely sure of in that moment was that if he stayed, he would have either burst into tears or punched Rachel in the face. Neither of those options had sounded like a good thing to do i a public setting.
"Kurt, wait!" The girls caught up to him as he was trying to unlock his navigator. Mercedes put a comforting hand on his arm. "Baby, what's wrong?"
Kurt just shook his head violently, refusing to look at either of them. He was horrified to realize that the tears were already starting to well up in his eyes. He didn't want them to see him cry.
"That was very rude, Kurt," Rachel stated with a frown on her face. "I think you owe me-us-an apology."
"An apology?" Kurt whirled around to give the tiny diva an incredulous look.
"Are you crying?" Mercedes asked in a soft voice, shocked to see the tear tracks lining her boy's pale cheeks.
Kurt ignored her question, continuing to stare at Rachel. "What could I possibly have to apologize for Being hurt that you managed to steal another one of the guys I like?"
"What are you talking about?"
"I'm talking about the fact that, regardless of their sexual orientation, every single guy I like somehow always seems to end up making out with and dating you!" Kurt's voice was starting to rise steadily.
"And that's mt fault?" Rachel looked surprised and offended. "Look, if this is about what happened with Dante last night, you never mentioned that you liked him-"
"That hasn't stopped you before!" Kurt had to laugh humorlessly at Rachel's hurt expression. "What about Blaine? You knew that I liked him! That didn't stop you from making out with him and asking him on a date! Or how about Sebastian? I told you that I liked the new red-headed cashier at the Lima Bean; you even came to support me when I wanted to ask him out! But instead you wound up dating him!"
"I'm trying to find someone to care about me just the same as you are!" Rachel shrieked back at him. "Don't I deserve to be happy?"
"Don't I?" Kurt shot back. He stopped his tirade for a moment to take a deep calming breath. "Do you know what the worst part is? I'm sure that you aren't even doing all of this on purpose. In fact, I know you aren't. So I really have no excuse to be mad at you. It just means that I'm so undesirable that even gay guys would prefer to go out with girls instead of me."
"Kurt-" Mercedes began, but he cut her off.
"You were right, Rachel; you will always be higher on the list than me. So enjoy your date with Dante. I hope it works out for you."
With that, Kurt climbed into his car and drove off, leaving the two stunned girls in his wake. Not even five minutes later, though, he had to pull over to the side of the road because he couldn't see through the tears falling from his eyes.
Kurt was working on homework by himself in the Dalton library by himself when Dante slid slowly into the seat across form him. The older boy stayed silent, a small, nervous smile on his face as he watched Kurt work.
Kurt tried to ignore the other boy; he really did. But he could feel that piercing gaze burning into him; pleading. He sighed deeply before he dropped his pen onto his notebook and slowly raised his head to meet Dante's guilt ridden eyes.
"Can I help you with something?"
Dante winced slightly at Kurt's frost tone. "I guess I deserved that."
Kurt sighed again. "What do you what, Dante?"
"I wanted to talk about what happened at the party Saturday night, and apologize for hurting you."
"Let me guess," Kurt muttered bitterly at his notebook. "You never meant to hurt me, but now you're questioning your sexuality and going to date Rachel to figure it all out."
The older boy frowned slightly in confusion. "What are you talking about? I know that I'm gay; I don't need to go out with Rachel to figure anything out."
"Why did you kiss her then?" Kurt practically spat out. "Why did you agree to go out on a date with her?"
"People do stupid things all the time when they get drunk! I was being an idiot and didn't even think about what I was doing, or about how it would affect you."
"Is that supposed to excuse your behaviour?" Kurt whispered.
"No." Dante sighed and ran his fingers through his dark hair. "There is no excuse for my behaviour. I was just an idiot teenage boy who didn't think. And I hurt you in the process.
I called Rachel and told her that I couldn't go out with her because I'm gay and I really like someone else. I apologized for essentially leading her on. She said she forgave me. Now I'm apologizing to you."
Kurt just stared at the other teen, unable to think of anything to say.
"I'm sorry Kurt. I really like you, but I guess I kind of blew it. I would really like your forgiveness, and another chance. I'll understand if you refuse, though."
Kurt took a deep breath. "I don't know if I can forgive you. I don't know if I can trust you anymore."
Kurt abruptly stood and gathered his things. "Give me some time, Dante. If I can forgive you, we'll talk then."
He walked briskly out of the library, head bent to hide the tears threatening to fall.
Dante stared after him, cursing himself.