Author's Note: This is what happens when I have too much work to do - procrastination ensues. Memes, gaming terms and abbreviations included. It's been a while since the last time I played WoW, so skilled players will have to forgive me because in terms of skill, I'm more Cameron-ish. Hopefully this fic will at least bring a smile to your face.
English is not my native language. Boo.
What a beautiful sunrise! What a scenery! Dozens of wandering minstrels are singing paeans about this wonderful morning in Stormwind City, the largest human city in all of Azeroth. The streets are lively and beaming with joy, for the Alliance is celebrating a huge victory. Heroes sit together, drinking at The Gilded Rose Inn in blissful ignorance. Solemn tunes float around playfully, bumping into passing citizens or occassionally, one another.
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There is no room for malice in the glorious human kingdom. When suddenly, the horns' warning cries echo from all corners of the city. The Horde is invading!
"All guild members are to come to the main gate immediately!"
"Bite my shiny metal ass!" grumbles the handsome and slightly intoxicated draenei paladin, smashing his beer mug against the table, breaking it to pieces. "I was going to go to the Violet Hold!" He sighs, grabs his war hammer, and heads to the city's entrance.
The battle is already raging. Swords clash, chants are mumbled, quiet and loud; lightning blinds the bold warriors.
"All right chumps, let's do this! LEEEROOOOYYYY JJJJEEENNKKINSSS!" yells a human paladin unfazed by the ambush, whereupon he runs fearlessly and valiantly into the battlefield.
"Oh my God, he just ran out…" His guildmates stand dumbfounded. "Save him!"
If we were slightly closer to the protagonists, we would hear a proud "at least I have chicken" escape the paladin's lips. But we are not and therefore continue with the story instead.
Our draenei remains calm, choosing his opponents with care and strategy. Some of the surge of orcs and undead has already gotten through the barrier and into the city, but nothing but death awaits them there.
Another tauren falls defeated. The draenei is struck by a wave of fire, but recovers and quickly dispatches the daring shaman, when he hears a familiar cry. There's a barely clothed woman lying by the road and hovering above her, a worn but sharp greatsword, preparing to deal the deadly blow.
Upon witnessing such an act of cruelty, the draenei cannot ignore an ally in need. He smites the attacker with help of the divine.
"Son of a bitch, we don't kill noobs!" he shouts angrily and helps the woman up. "You okay?"
The two exchange a nod and the paladin engages in combat again.
It is done. The Horde has been defeated. It is now time to rest and bury the dead; there's no more time nor energy left to celebrate as the sun is setting.
The woman from before approaches her mighty savior shyly as he washes the blood off his weapon in the Nazferiti River. "Hey. Thanks for saving me, DancesWithCanes."
"No prob," he replies, never looking up.
"I'm DamagedAngel31. I'm a mage," she introduces herself and sits next to the heavily armored hero.
His eyebrows shoot up and he finally diverts his attention from the shiny metal. "DamagedAngel31? WTF, what a lousy name," he mocks her.
"You're the one whose name sounds like an indian rank here!" she shoots back. "FYI, I could have handled that orc myself."
"Don't be so obnoxious. Like hell you could; I hate to be the one to tell you, but your equip sucks."
"Then help me get better, smartass!" She looks herself up and down and sighs. "What's wrong with it? :("
DancesWithCanes fastens the hammer on his back and stands up. "You are a girl in real life, aren't you?"
"Why wouldn't I be?"
"..And you're new to this."
"Fairly… You can tell all that based on the equipment I'm wearing?"
"That and the fact that common sense failed to prevent you from messing with an orc," the draenei clarifies. He is going to tell the noisy blonde that they should part ways now, but being ever the gentleman, he cannot leave a poor inexperienced mage all alone in the wilderness. "Jesus, fine, stop making that smileyface… How about I take you to a dungeon and we hunt for some actual armor? I can't go to Violet Hold now, anyway, 'cus my guildies have all logged off already…"
"Count me in, sir!" she exclaims happily.
"Relax, I'm a girl, too."
DamagedAngel31 is confused by this statement.
"Do you have Vent?"
Thus, the two warriors embarked on a long and perilous journey full of challenges, meeting new friends and enemies. Together they saved many villages and hunted down many ferocious beasts endangering innocent peasants. During their time together, the two developed a great sense of cooperation and, eventually, became friends, always by the other's side. Until…
"Holy shit, Angel, it's 4 in the morning!" A startled voice came from the spe—I mean, the corridor in the opposite direction of our young mage.
"WHAT? Crap, I'm getting up in three hours! I'm outta here, good night!"
"So am I! Logging off, 'night!"
Thirteen was devastated. She could barely keep her eyes open as she walked through the front door of Princeton-Plainsboro Teaching Hospital and headed towards the locker room. Once inside, she let her head fall on the door of her locker.
"Someone give me some goddamn aspirin," she muttered to herself. Little did she know she had a spectator.
"Shh! Please, be careful not to bump into anything," whispered a sleepy voice from somewhere in the corner of the room.
Thirteen looked up and saw the motionless figure of Dr. Cameron lying on a bench. She looked completely void of life. However, upon closer inspection, Thirteen saw she was just dozing off.
"I should probably tell you to get to work, but instead, I'm going to tell you this: Move, I want a piece of that bench," Thirteen announced and shoved Cameron off what seemed like the entrance to paradise at the moment.
"I was here first!" Cameron protested, getting up from the ground.
"I have teeth and I know how to use them," Thirteen retorted, already half asleep.
"So I've heard…"
Thirteen's eyes popped open. "Excuse me?"
"Look, if you're not going to let me sleep there voluntarily, I'm going to have to earn my rightful place with force."
"What… Jesus, Cameron, are you insa—OW!" the brunette winced, barely able to breathe because she was being crushed by the surprisingly light but still five and a half feet ER head.
"I was here first," the invader repeated and let her limbs hang in the air.
"Do you realize how unbelievably awkward and painful this is for both of us?" Thirteen tried again. Suddenly, she frowned as realization dawned on her. The exhaustion, the boldness, and foremost— "Wait, that voice—Do you by any chance have a retarded habit of nicknaming yourself DamagedAngel31?"
Cameron grinned slightly and nuzzled at Remy's neck. "Thanks for the equip, DancesWithCanes, but I think our next hunting session should take place earlier in the afternoon."
"You have got to be kidding me…" she stared at the other doctor in amazement before finally giving up and closing her eyes. Whatever. After all, they would only get a few minutes until someone finds them, and those few minutes had long ago been predetermined to be spent in blissful slumber.