I might make some mistakes – I'm not very good in English.

I don't own anything.

Please, R&R.

Edit – 03.24.11. Thank you, Victoire1993!

That. Was. The. Worst. Bus. Trip. Ever.

Noah and the other contestants were on their way to the Total Drama Jumbo Jet. What was so bad about it? Well – everything. Although there was one particular thing for Noah which was worse than all others taken together. So what was it, you may ask?

That they were going to travel around the world to take part in many stupid and dangerous challenges and being humiliated by Chris? Again.

No, that wasn't the worst part of the trip. At least one of them was supposed to win one million dollars, the only one reason Noah was taking part in it. That and maybe meeting with friends he made in Total Drama – although he would never admit that, even (and especially) before himself.

Or maybe it was Harold – who, of course, was talking about things that no one cared about yet he kept talking and talking. Noah felt almost sorry for LeShawna. Almost. Compassion wasn't one of the feelings which were getting to Noah frequently. Irritation, yes, conceit, yep, but not pity. Unless we talk about having pity on someone for their intelligence, or, actually, lack of it.

But, back to the topic – Harold's 'smart' lectures weren't the worst part of the trip.

Even sitting at the back of the bus couldn't save Noah from listening to Duncan and Courtney's discussion about something stupid and unreasonable. Everyone could heard them and tried to ignore them.

But that wasn't the worst part of the trip.

Tyler's attempts to get Lindsay remember his name (and his person at all) which weren't amusing for sarcastic boy – especially when she called him Noah?

Noah himself felt insulted by that.

But that wasn't the worst part of the trip.

Or, Izzy, the crazy bird?. Somehow she found licking the bus window as a very absorbing and joyful activity.

Ezekiel, who unfortunately for her was sitting next to red-haired girl, tried to ignore Miss Weird and Weirder and was rambling about "How Zeke will be victorious this season, yo, yo, yo!"

Owen sitting beside Izzy and Zeke (without anyone next to him, since he had to take two seats) wasn't helping. No, he just had to look on his girlfriend with sparkling eyes and keep repeating all the time: "Oh, she's happy!" Well, he kept saying such things when not complaining about his aerophobia.

That also wasn't the worst part of the trip.

DJ already missing his momma and crying about thought of being far away from her for such a loooong time?

Cody and his attempts to play "cool" in front of Gwen, when she just didn't care at all, like always?

Or usual Heather and Gwen's activity – the big argument, according to their quarrel schedule (1. Heather explaining to Gwen how victorious she will be in this season, especially after mauling her biggest enemy's face, 2. goth responding by making fun of queen bee's hair, 3. mean chick getting angry all again and start to scream some random stuff on Gwen, 4. Cody interrupting to talk with Gwen and got another chance to 'impress her', 5. both girls snapping at poor guy and return to insult each other again – and no, to Noah's disappoitment they didn't even start a catfight as he hoped, damnit)?

Bridgette talking to Geoff by the cellphone, ("Oh, sweetie-poo, I miss you so much! No, sweet bear, I love you more! How I'm going to win the million without you?")

Hmm… No, no, no… Almost yes, but in final retrospection – no, even that wasn't the worst part of the trip.

And there was Sierra. Since all other seats were already taken, tall girl sat next to Noah. (Which was actually pretty strange, since Sierra arrived on Total Drama special bus stop few hours before everyone else, but was read as the last on the list and entered the bus with only one seat left. Poor Noah.)

"O! M! G! I can't believe I'm here with all you, guys! I was with you in my imagination thousands time, but now IT'S FINALLY REAL!"

Sierra wasn't aware of looks everyone was giving her, nor the fact that she was actually louder than Courtney and Duncan's quarrel. And that was pretty big achievement, at least in Noah's opinion.

"The World Tour with Chris and all Total Drama cast! Yiiiii!" Sierra looked over seats to see her favorite contestant. "And I finally can spend some time with my Codykins."

Cody could hear Sierra's ramblings like everyone else, but HE could ignore her, because it wasn't HIM, who was sitting right next to HER. Noah was looking forward to the end of the bus drive, when Sierra would finally get to 'her Codykins' and leave bookworm alone in blessing silence.

He had to wait for that for two long hours. Until then it was Noah who had to deal with obsessive and loud Cody-lover fan.

"I'm so excited!" We can see that. "Not only being with all of you and my Cody, but I have a chance to win a million! Yeeeeeeeeeee!"


Since Sierra couldn't be next to her Cody, she started to make attempts to talk to the nearest person.

THAT was the worst part of the trip.

And made it the worst bus trip that Noah ever took part in.

Noah tried to ignore her. Truly. Then again, Sierra wasn't the person that anyone could easily ignore. Ignoring Sierra resembled ignoring attack of wet handkerchief.

"Aren't you happy?" It was the moment when Noah recognized she was talking to him. "I can't wait to meet Chris! I mean, I've met him before," gee, what a wonderful experience it must had been "but not hosting Total Drama!" Sierra squealed.

Sarcastic boy just shrugged. He didn't feel like sharing his opinion about Total Drama and it's host (which was completely opposite of Sierra's one, in case you haven't guessed.) For now he just wanted to read his book peacefully…

…Until Sierra took it away from him.


"Oh my gosh, it's like your totally favorite book! Haven't you read it, like, thirty-three and half times?"

Thirty-three and half? Noah raised an eyebrow. So he liked reading books he liked the most many times, big deal. Just a little habit, nothing more. Nothing to be ashamed of, just something he was simply doing. The point was how did SHE know how many times HE had read it? It's not like HE was counting it, but somehow SHE knew.

Noah knew, just knew there was a reason to be afraid of Sierra. But that much? Seriously, girl was scarier than furious Courtney.

All right, maybe she wasn't THAT scary, but still pretty terrifying.

"Can I have it back?" He angrily pull out his hand, trying to not show how horrified he was in that moment because of one particular stalker. Because, man, how much did she knew about him anyway? He had a feeling he wouldn't really like to know the answer.

Sierra's cheerful smile never faltered. She started to leaf through a book.

"And to think I haven't read it yet, although I promised it to myself" She sighed and looked at Noah. "I was too busy with updating all my blogs about you, guys!" She explained. "You know, I had to collect few information about you to write something about. Like finding all Lindsay's favorite places for clothes shopping, getting Geoff's fingerprint or finding names of all Trent's stuffed animals from his childhood. Did you know he had nine of them? Oh, and guess what, I bet you have no idea – when she was small, Courtney didn't want to be a lawyer. Her dream job was being an ice-cream cone seller! Can you believe that?"

"That's so not true!" For at least moment Courtney stopped her argument with Duncan. "I always wanted to be a lawyer! It's not a job which anyone could do! That's a job for someone like me! Someone determined, smart, independent… Stop laughing, Duncan! And don't think I didn't notice that snicker, Harold! Anyway, I've never wanted to sell… Ice-cream. Where did you get this idea?"

"But that's true" said Sierra. "I've talked with her grandmother. She also gave me a picture of Courtney as a small, cute baby all naked. I left that one at home" the uber-fan wasn't aware of disappointment from everyone around besides Noah, and, of course, the CIT girl, who was glaring at Sierra angrily. "But I think I have in my luggage a picture of Duncan without a mohawk and earrings, when his mum still was making him wear those pretty pink t-shirts with Celine Dion…"

Duncan stopped laughing as he sat deeper in his seat. Everyone in bus who was paying attention to Sierra's words started to snicker. Even Heather and Gwen stopped argumenting at least for few minutes. Courtney just looked at her boyfriend with disbelief, then grinned evilly.

"I wanna see those" she declared.

"Not gonna happen" clenched Duncan between his teeth. "I don't wanna to have you scared of Celine Dion like me, Princess."

"Anyway" continued Sierra "Since I'm in Total Drama, I can get more information. You have no idea what other fans asked me to get information about. I must say it's actually my duty now, as the biggest Total Drama fan, to let them know what perfume is Lindsay using or when Gwen had her hair dyed for the first time and if Duncan remember his first earring" she tapped her chin. "Still, the person I must learn about is, of course, my Cody" she sighed dreamily, then looked as some idea gotten into her and turned to sarcastic teenager. "Hey, Noah, do you know what your fans what to know about your…"

It was when Sierra noticed Noah's gaze. He was truly irritated but somehow stared at the tall girl with blank expression. She narrowed her eyes. Did she had something between her teeth? It's not like she said anything bad or improper, right? Just usual, normal stuff she lived since first episode of TDI.

She was confused.

"Why are you looking at me like that?"

Noah raised an eyebrow as usual, bored expression apeeared back on his face.

"I'm just trying to imagine you with a personality."

She frowned and put fists on her hips. "Was that remark sarcastic or what?…"

No, that was a downright insult.

Noah sighed. That would be cruel. Or she wouldn't understand it. Or both. Either way, better not to say it to her.

"You could say that" he murmured.

Smile quickly returned on Sierra's face.

"Oh, right. I know, you're master of sarcasm. It's something that is stronger than you. That's why you have so many fans, anyway! Without your snarky attitude, I don't really think you'd be recognizable. Well… At least to most Total Drama watchers. As a super Total Drama fan number one, I remember all of you."

Noah's expression didn't change.

"Can I have my book back now?"

Sierra didn't ignore Noah, she just wasn't aware of him saying anything to her, as she was too deep in her own thoughts.

"You know…" she started, tapping her chin "After Total Drama Action, when you were Chris' assistant… How is it that no one could find you? That I couldn't find you? Why keeping this a secret?"

"Because… It wasn't a secret?" Noah took his hand away, as he sighed. He wasn't getting his book back any soon. "Just no one thought that I could do something like this."

"So why did you become his assistant anyway?"

Noah shrugged. He noticed that other Total Drama competitors already were back to their previous activities and didn't listen to Sierra or him anymore.

"And why do you want to know anyway? To put some information about me on all of your blogs or just one of them?"

"Well, it depends how would I label those information" said Sierra honestly. "Although everything you'll tell me will appear on Noah Blog."

The sarcastic boy still was sending her his usual look.

"Noah Blog" he repeated blankly.

"Well, duh. I've made a blog about each contestant of Total Drama, Chris and Chef. You have no idea for how long time I couldn't find any valuable information by which I could update Noah Blog after TDA? Until Gemmie Awards! You've made a pretty rough time for me, since all readers of Noah Blog were complaining that I wasn't eager enough! Me, the Total Drama Fan Number 1 not eager enough to find news about you! Many people actually wrote that! Unbelievable! That's why you owe some information."

"Owe you? Since when, Miss Crazy Stalker?"

"Since I was labeled as a Fan Number 2!" Sierra obviously haven't heard Noah's insult. "That was all this… This Gwenthel233 fault! Ugh!" The uber-fan tightly clenched her fists and look at sarcastic boy with anger. "I mean, naming her a Total Drama Fan Numer 1? Alright, so she has 40 blogs about Total Drama series, but none of them is as good as mine!"

"I don't doubt that" Noah looked over her to see if she was still holding his book. It was still in her strong grip.

"Good" Sierra tapped her chin again and then she smiled triumphantly. "But hah! It's me who get to Total Drama, not her! I can't see you here, Gwenthel233" she sang cheerfully. "There is just meeee, no Gwnethel233!"

A smile suddenly disappeared from her face, as she looked worried at Noah.

"She's not here, right?"

"What? Who again?" asked Noah with bored tone.

"Gwenthel233, so called Number 1 fan – and honestly, believe me when I'm saying she dosen't deserve to be named as Total Drama Fan at all – she's not there, right?"

Noah looked over all contestants doing they usual, normal stuff (truly, try to define 'normal' when talking about those people. Come on, I dare you), and no, none of them looked as Sierra's mortal enemy, since each of them was competing in Total Drama since season one and they didn't look like people who could make fake blog about themselves (maybe besides Justin – but he even wasn't there, thanks God) and the only new face besides President of Cody's Fanclub was this Spanish guy, Alejandro.

"Unless Alejandro started to wear skirts and scream some random noises about this wonderful show while I wasn't looking, I can't see your Gwenthsomething. Now can you give me back my book?"

"Well… Maybe it's crazy what I'm saying… But what if Gwenthel233 is really a male who pretended to be a fangirl to have a better cover than me and get to Total Drama somehow? Be honest with me this time, alright?"

Was she implying complete reserve of what he just said? Was she even listening to him or was just talking for talking?

Besides, while Noah surprisingly was actually listening to her, she acted as she didn't hear him. It was annoying.

Still, she asked him to be honest, so…

"It's crazy what're you're saying."

"Oh" Sierra blinked. "Well, thanks for being honest."

"Can you give me my book back now?"

"Still, after all this story with Gwenthel… You have to make it up to me – like telling me why did you disappear so suddenly and became Chris' assistant."

Make it up for her? Noah rolled his eyes and looked through the window. They were passing green fields, the sky was blue and clean… Why did he have to be in this bus with Sierra and other contestans when he could be outside and do not participate in this whole show?

Oh yeah, he would probably have to sit in Afertmath Studio all the time, like in TDA. No fun.

She took away his book and he didn't have any ideas what to do besides being bored – which was some kind of activity, but, let's face the awful truth – it was boring. Besides the crazy fan wouldn't leave him alone.

"I already told you – no secret. Just… Just nobody asked" he said, realizing it was true. Because, well… Those few people from Total Drama Noah kind of befriended after TDA were focused on their business and their lives: Cody was part of The Drama Brothers, Owen started to take part in commercials with exercise equipment (convincing… not), Izzy was busy with her movies, the Iron Woman when not pulling a bus using only her teeth then attacking importunate paparazzi and fans. And that was pretty much all. He wasn't even keeping in contact with them until Gemmie Awards, they didn't know anything about his life, he knew about theirs from newspapers or TV.

"Still, it dosen't explain how anyone – especially ME couldn't find you. If you weren't making secret of it, then why?"

"Maybe you are not the best tracker at all" before Sierra could respond, Noah continued. "But honestly? I don't know, it's not my problem. At least I've had few months of peace."

"Few months of peace? Then why did you come back anyway?"

"Three magic words: one million dollars. Ring a bell? Isn't that a reason why are we all here? Well, maybe except you, but…"

"I don't remember you talking about million dollars until Chris told us about new Total Drama season. Just like the others you wanted to be famous again. And being famous dosen't mean getting even few months of peace, am I right?"

Sierra triumphantly smirked with closed eyes and her hands crossed on her chest. Noah gave her bored look which supposed to cover his surprise. Or she suddenly gained some brain cells or he underestimated her. Whatever it was, sudden Sierra's intelligence seemed too creepy.

Truthfully, back again to Gemmie Awards… Well, he was pretty upset at Chris with the rest of Total Drama cast, all right. He wouldn't go to this bus if the others didn't go too. It was not only a pressure of a mass of teenagers, but also the thought that they would maybe have a chance for anything.

But Noah didn't feel very well with telling that to Sierra. He didn't care about her opinion, but she probably would write some of it on her blogs. And twist some of his words, like every journalist.

Although he didn't have an immediate, he eventually got one.

"I was just fired by Chris, didn't have anything to do and… And just decided to go, since I didn't really have anything to do."

All right. That was much more poor excuse than the truth. Uh.

"Yeah, okay, but why being Chris' assistant anyway?"

"Let's just say that the position was free and fee wasn't very bad" he decided to say half-truth. "That's all."

Sierra opened her mouth to ask another question, but it was Noah who suddenly said:

"So… You're… Our fan number one. Uhm… Why?"

All right, maybe not the smartest question ever, but it could prevent him from more questions from Sierra. Maybe, if she start talk about herself, she won't ask him about anything more. Oh, the relief…

"What do you mean, why?" Sierra frowned. "It's the best show ever! And I'm finally here! Yiiiah! But, since you asked, it's just so AWESOME to learn something about so great people! Did you know that Bridgette was… Oh, oh, oh, wait, I'll tell it about later. I guess you would seem to be more interested in story about Harold and group of frogs! Would you believe me if I tell you, that Harold…"

Noah felt how minutes were slowly passing by, as Sierra was talking more and more until bus finally stopped and the driver stood up with paper sheets in his hands. Noah sighed with relief. He learned many more or less creepy facts about other castmates, which… Some of them were entertaining, all right. Most of them were useless crap, but few of them could be used against certain competitors. Still, most of those weren't useful. Nothing to be happy about.

"Chris McLean made an order of stepping off the bus. I have a list right there. Newcomers are supposed to appear as the last ones. The first one is Courtney…" CIT happily stood up and went out "Duncan, Heather, Gwen, LeShawna, Lindsay, Owen, DJ, Harold, Noah, Cody, Ezekiel…"

Sierra stood up so Noah could get to the leaving queue.

"Your book" she handed his property to him.

In first moment he wanted to take it, but, to his own surprise, he waved it aside.

"You wanted to read that. Just don't forget to gitve it back to me after you finish."

"Really?" Sierra beamed widely. "An original book from Total Drama contestant!" Noah rolled his eyes after this remark. "Of course I'll read it! And… Uh, yeah… Don't worry, I'll give it back to you as soon as I'll end it, I promise!"

Noah just shrugged and followed Harold.

All right. So maybe – just maybe – that wasn't the worst bus trip he ever had. Probably because of this crazy ride in DJ's momma's bus after Gemmie awards (you know – the one which consisted Courtney behind the wheel, almost falling from the cliff, but saved by extremely huge pink bra which was also a catapult full of caramels – you know, the one full of normal things for Total Drama), which included the longest and horrifying moment in Noah's life, so…

Maybe Sierra wasn't so bad. Completely crazy, yes, utterly terrifying, yes, and completely obsessed about Cody (no, seriously, what the heck? Cody? Really?), yes, but not so… Repellent as he thought. And that's saying a guy who just spend last two hours next to her, mind you.

DJ was leaving the bus holding Owen, who was screaming some random things about planes and his fears, but Noah haven't heard that. Normally he would pay attention and perhaps commented it with some usual, sarcastic remark, but he was too deep in his own thoughts.

Still, there wasn't any point to be happy about this bus ride. At least he hoped to get some reading, but no…

He lend her his book. He never lend anyone his book. That wasn't the situation he was used to handle, yet…

"Aerophobia. From the Latin, as opposed aeronausophobia, the fear of flying sickness."

Noah rolled his eyes. As he wasn't tired already after Sierra's antics…

"Keep up the fascinating facts and I'm gonna be aero-nauseous all over you."

Gah, it turned quite ankward at the end :|

Good? Bad? Awful? Too many digressions? OOCness? (Heh, maybe I've made Noah too much interested into conversation, while he probably should have fallen asleep in the middle of Sierra's rantings… Sierra was a little too honest about her Total Drama obsession and gotten a little too sane at the second part xD. And she didn't talk about Cody for the whole story O_o Le shock!)

Also, to be clear – I like (almost) all cast of Total Drama, so don't fell offended by making fun of your favorite characters. These are just some random stuff that had gotten to my head in middle of writing it.)

After tons of work I just had to take a break and I wrote this. Personally it gave me a lot of fun, so I'm pretty happy with it, despite the fact that it is kinda stupid (especially after getting to this Gwenthel233 part – still have no idea where did that come from) :) I also was wondering how Noah and Sierra interactions would look like (if they only had more scenes together… Why Sierra couldn't stay in Team CIRRRRH? It would be awesome, in my humble opinion).

So now, you, who foolishly entered this place abandon all hope and tell me… What do you think? I hope it's not just simple talking nonsense xD