Title: High School Sweethearts: Sam's Memoir
Summary: One-shot: Sam recounts her and Danny's romance and life, from childhood memories, to love and family.
Disclaimer: I do not own Danny Phantom. No need to rub it in…
Author's Note: I wrote this years ago, and totally just dug it out of the shelves.
You can call Danny and I high school sweethearts, or childhood friends, star-crossed lovers, Mr. and Mrs. Fenton, even the crazy combination name of Danantha friends use when referring to us. We met sometime in the second grade on the playground, along with Tucker Foley. The three of us have been inseparable ever since, (with Danny and I being literal). My history with Danny has gone way back.; we've been with each other forever. Here is my story, as clearly as I can recollect it…
The beginning of second grade was a terrifying experience for me. I had just moved into town, and did not know any of the kids. My parents sent me to school on the first day with a frilly pink dress that ought to belong at a wedding, not a playground. During recess, I sat on the swings alone, drifting in and out of my thoughts, when suddenly a boy approached me. I remember seeing him once during class. His name was Daniel, and he had black messy hair and clear blue eyes. Beside him trailed Tucker, with his unusual turquoise eyes and a red beret that was too big for his head. Tucker was playing with a Gameboy, as even at his young age he was obsessed with electronics and technology.
Well, that boy Daniel walked towards me, and smiled. He asked if the swing next to me was taken, and when I said no, he plopped onto it. Tucker sat down by the structure, mesmerized with his game. Danny challenged me to see who could swing the highest, and I obliged. He smiled. He told me I wasn't like the other pansy girls who would run away from a dare. Tucker turned off his game and exclaimed he was going to be referee. I'm not sure who won, but since that day, the three of us became best friends.
The years passed and with it, the finger-painting, roly-poly bugs, ice-cream trucks, kickball, lost homework assignments, sticky cotton candy fingers, Disney movies, dress-up and Legos, and other childhood memories. Middle school came and I had suddenly developed the disease I called "Danny-itis". It's when I first discovered I had a crush on my best friend.
I guess the attraction had always been there, but it took a summer trip away from Amity Park for me to realize how empty I felt without Danny. I could not stop thinking about him. And if you noticed, it was never the same with Tucker. I viewed Tucker as a brother of sorts.
When I returned, I was terrified. I did not want anybody to know, especially Danny. What if people laughed because I had fallen for not just any guy, but my best friend? What if it ruined our friendship? So I kept this unrequited attraction silent. I was around twelve or thirteen then, so for all I knew, this could have been just a childish crush that would go away in a couple of months.
By then, each one of us had blossomed into our own unique identities: I was the Goth girl, drawn to all things dark and mysterious; Tucker was the Techno-geek; and Danny…well, Danny was the klutzy boy with the sapphire eyes and goofy smile.
There was one rare moment during our eighth grade trip that used to either bring a warm smile to my lips, or an awkward shudder. The whole class traveled to a beach somewhere in California for three days to celebrate our mini-graduation. On the first night, Danny, Tucker, and I had dinner at an Italian restaurant near the beach, and we couldn't stop talking about how delicious it was. We watched the sun set through the windows, and everyone was relaxed and feeling very at ease. There was a small pier right in front of the restaurant that the three of us wandered onto after darkness fell to gaze at the city lights across the dark waters. (There was an island across from where we were, and I think it might have been San Diego, but I really don't remember). There were some very strong sea breezes, and silly Danny had forgotten his jacket back at the hotel. Either it was something delusional in the food, or the overall mood everyone was in, but the next thing Danny did swept me off my feet and metaphorically plunged me into the chilly waters. He wrapped his arms around me from behind, and pressed his body close. He told me he was freezing, and with my wooly black jacket, I looked like I had enough warmth to share. Tucker gave us both a long stare, but did nothing more.
I was…mortified. Here was the guy of my dreams with his arms wrapped around me. I could feel his heartbeat, which was hell of a calmer than mine. I kept thinking, This is awkward. This is very effin awkward. …But I like it.
Danny kept his arms around me for the next hour or so we stayed out there. He told me little stories about his life, like the time his family took a trip to New York, and the hotel manager thought Mr. Fenton was the hotel owner and gave them all free rooms. He steered me around the small dock, and our laughter drifted with each other across the water and stars. The lights swirled around us, like a picture taken at night with a shaky hand.
Once, a group of our classmates wandered over, and when they caught sight of the two of us, the girls squealed and got out their cameras. They kept telling us over and over how cute we looked together. I blushed, expecting Danny to finally let go, but he just smiled for the cameras. It was a bit…horrifying at the moment.
Danny still had his arms around me when we walked to our bus for the hotel. He pulled me into the seat next to his, and laid his head down on my shoulder. I played with his hair because I didn't know what else to do, and I was amazed at the softness. It was the first time I remember Danny letting me touch his hair. He usually was very protective over his then-gelled masterpiece.
When we walked to the hotel door, Dash and Kwan, who weren't jerks back then, regarded Danny and I and yelled, "Get a room you two!" I laughed, and told them that's what they should be doing. The two boys played along with the joke, and pretended to act sultry with one another. I was just glad I had avoided embarrassment.
When I returned to my hotel room, my two roommates asked me if Danny and I were together now. I chuckled nervously and looked at the ground. "No", I said, "He was just cold; nothing is going to happen between us."
The memories were almost surreal. What a night, I had thought as I drifted to sleep.
The next morning, Danny and I acted as if none of that ever happened. It was like waking up from a hangover, or a dream forgotten. We were friends again, just friends. No one else mentioned anything either ever. It was a moment where you lived in the present, and then forgot about it in the future. But it was a moment that haunted me for a long time.
High school arrived with a bang, throwing new responsibilities upon us like summer hail. Danny had his accident in the Fenton Ghost Portal, and everything changed; Danny changed. Fighting ghosts became his focus in life, and he hardly had time for anything else, be it homework, chores…or his friends. Danny did try to make time for us, and Tucker and I did enjoy accompanying him and fighting ghosts. It was pretty cool, and gave a rush of excitement in our lives. But it wasn't the same. We were much too young to take upon such a burden as saving the world, and we didn't understand it that time. Danny was forced to grow up at the age of fourteen.
The fake-out-make-outs, Ember's curse, and the school dance made me long even more for Danny. Paulina and Valerie made me realize that what I longed for was something I could never have. I still remember what I wrote in my diary the day Valerie and Danny went out:
Why was I such a fool to think he would ever see me as anything more than a best friend? I can't stand it anymore; I should just stop trying.
I almost really did give up after that. However, after Valerie decided to just stay friends with Danny, I automatically started hoping again. A crush is a strange thing. It never fully dies, no matter how hard you convince yourself and everyone that you don't like that person anymore. It's like a nostalgic scent that lingers so long that it becomes a part of you.
Freshman year passed and I still didn't dare tell him my feelings. Our friendship was something so grand that the ties binding us were thicker and tighter than anything. I didn't want to trade his friendship for love that may not even last long. I was too afraid of rejection in any kind.
Everyone at that time knew I had a crush on Danny, everyone that is, except him. That's why we had dubbed him "Clueless". There were moments when I wanted confess to him, such as when Tucker and I were infected with Ecto-Acne. I was not going to die without letting Danny know how I felt. Likewise when Priah Dark invaded Amity Town. I didn't want to lose Danny without first telling him. The closest I came in losing him was when Freakshow gained control over the Reality Gauntlet. He trapped us all on a roller coaster of death, and then turned Danny into an immobile pile of orange goo. The roller coaster hit him, and he fell like tiny blocks of Jello. I was speechless, and I wanted to cry out, and try to save him. It was one of the scariest moments in my life. From then on, I told myself I was going to tell him, but somehow there was always something holding me back.
Around that time I remember reading a poem that mirrored my thoughts exactly. I've forgotten who wrote it, or where I read it, but I still have it memorized.
There's something I need to tell you,
Something from which I've been hiding.
A secret I've kept for a while now,
Where deep in my heart it's residing.
It's a phrase with eight letters,
Of which I am afraid to say,
Because life will change when I do,
And tomorrow will never be today.
Fate has made us friends,
Destiny has brought us together.
Yet sometimes I can't but wonder,
If Heart will bring us closer.
Sophomore year came in the blink of an eye, and then Junior year, and finally Senior year was upon us. Tucker, Danny, and I shared everything best friends would share: movie marathons, beach days, dance jitters, homework and test stress combustions, getting our licenses, studying for exams late into the night at cafes, laughs and inside jokes, parties, odd stories, and everything in between. Ghost attacks were less frequent, Vlad Masters/Plasmius was finally defeated and (accidentally, though not wrongly) sent to an insane asylum, and we all matured into young adults. Danny grew stronger, in all aspects. He became smarter, more responsible, and more caring. He had his growth spurt during sophomore year and suddenly became a head taller than me, and not to mention the fact that his hard-earned muscles began to show. Danny Fenton wasn't a loser anymore; he was a regular chick magnet, with me, of course, polarizing towards him the strongest. And yet, he still failed to notice me for nothing more than a best friend.
He went out with a couple of girls, the longest relationship lasting half a year. Yet somehow, behind his lustful smile, I remembered seeing him unhappy. The clear skies in his eyes were always cloudy. It drove me insane. Many nights I would cry myself to sleep, knowing that I would never be with the boy that tore out my heart. However, this crush wasn't an obsession, or something that drove every purpose in my life. I cared for Danny, and adored him in every way. It was just the tingle of love would always surround me like an aura. It was true love, not the typical teenage giggling infatuation. I felt it as a constant, like the sky and wind and earth.
Similar to Danny, I had changed also. I became even more mature and outspoken, and even founded an Environmental Club at Casper High. I grew out my sleek black hair, and stopped wearing it in the half-pony tail of freshman year. I swapped my outfit for items such as: a short black skirt and boots, a lacey purple corset top, and the likes. They weren't slutty or anything like that; just more daring than what I used to wear in freshman or sophomore year. I even began wearing make-up on a daily basis; nothing heavy, just some mascara and eyeliner to draw some attention. I became mysterious, haunting, alluring, and beautiful; I wasn't referred to as the "Goth-geek", but the "Goth-beauty".
I released my frustration over Danny by throwing myself at other guys, in hopes that it would all turn into an ingenious plan in deciding if Danny liked me. In the beginning, I was trying to catch Danny's eye, and in the end, I was successful in making about half the male population at Casper High drool at my heels…but not Danny. I knew my new look appealed to him. I would always catch him stealing glances at me during class, or finding some way to brush some part of my skin. I went out with a few guys (all pretty decent, mind you) to observe his reaction.
The first boy, Devon, came up to me with a bloody nose a week after we had gone out, and told me through gasps that we couldn't be together anymore. The second one, Markus, wobbled to me on crutches a few days after our first date, and informed me the same thing. Finally, my third boyfriend, Stephan, disappeared for two whole days before calling me to deliver the same news.
I'm not sure how they arrived with their injuries and such, but I do believe it was courtesy of one overly jealous halfa. Now, whenever I would ask Danny about these incidents, he would just grin and tell me nothing.
However, my attempts did not prove to be futile. A month after Stephan, on the last month of school, Danny Fenton finally asked Samantha Manson out on a date. It seemed to be a moment everyone had been waiting for. Teachers and classmates were getting tired of enduring four years of stolen glances, awkward blushes, and unbelievable tension. Tucker, that twirp, had actually set up bets that the two of us would get together before the year was over.
I remember a time when I was a child, my next-door neighbor's dog disappeared one morning. Their daughter was devastated. She spent almost every waking hour trying to locate her friend, walking around with swollen eyes and a clouded look. I never saw someone in so much pain. One day, exactly a month after the dog vanished, a man came walking up to her house with a dirty and horribly skinny dog in his hands, which turned out to be the lost dog. The daughter broke down sobbing with tears of relief as she held the creature tightly in her arms. She later told me it was like her heart was shattering and mending at the same time, as she had dreamt of nothing but this for the past month.
That was exactly how I had felt the moment Danny asked me. I threw my arms around him and cried. All the suppressed hurt, anger, confusion, passion…and love from the past years erupted. I asked him through sobs why it took him so long, why he had waited until senior year.
He held me, stroking my hair, and through his own tears, told me, "Sam, I love you for a very long time, and I liked you for even longer. I couldn't make a move until now, because I didn't want to lose you. I would rather be your best friend, than your ex-boyfriend."
He said it took him all his life to figure out he loved me, and only me, and couldn't stand seeing me with anyone but him—and would not want to live the rest of his life without me. And then we kissed, and when we did, we gave each other our hearts at that moment. I'm not sure if this happens very often, but the same day I was asked out by my best friend was also the day I got engaged to him.
You tell me that I was only eighteen at the time, so how did I know what real love felt like. My neighbor's daughter, at the time when she lost her faithful friend, was only twelve at that time. If a twelve-year old can certainly feel such love, then so could an eighteen-year old.
That evening, we went on our first real date. I insisted that we really didn't need to. Dates were just a way to get to know the other person romantically, and we already did. However, Danny persisted, and said it would be silly to be engaged but never been on a date before. I laughed: Well, if I have to be romantic with you for the rest of my life, I might as well get used to it.
We went ice-skating first (I never learned how, and Danny had to hold my hands and guide me across the ice. It was adorably fun. I never had the fear of falling down painfully; I always felt safe in his arms), and then dinner at a calm Italian place. While waiting for our appetizers, I brought up with amusement the memory of our eighth-grade trip.
Danny nervously brought his hand to the back his neck. "I thought you forgot all about it," he said.
"I never could," I replied.
"Well," he went on, smiling, "That night was a result of too much good food, a fantastic ambiance, and—" He paused and looked at me. His blue eyes were electric. "And, a beautiful best friend whom I saw in a different light."
Oh, those electric eyes gripped my heart in shock. "You liked me since the eighth grade." It was more of a statement to myself than a question for him.
"Sam," he took my hand that was lying on the table, "I've always liked you. But on that night, I guess I realized something even more." He paused. "It wasn't love, per se, but a heightened awareness…"
I grinned. "Your train of thought has promptly just de-railed."
Danny pretended to plead with his puppy-dog eyes. Here was a boy that would live up to his silly antics for the rest of his life, and here I was as the girl that would never tire of them.
"Sam?"
"Yes Danny? Did your fix your train?"
"I love you Sam."
I paused and looked at him with adoration. "I love you too Danny. So much."
"Nuh uh, I love you more."
"I'll let you know that you have just achieved a number greater than infinite."
He laughed. To me, his laughter was the loveliest sound in the world.
After dinner, we flew over to the park (well actually, Danny flew and held me in his arms, bringing me a flashback of freshman year during Ember's first invasion). We sat in the grass under the starlight in each other's arms, and talked about nothing in particular. We finally had each other, and nothing else mattered. We kissed for the second time (not counting the fake-out-make-outs of course), and I could feel our hearts soar with each other into the starry sky, lost in everything but ourselves.
My parents, of course, were not happy with my engagement. Though they had gotten used to having Danny as my friend, the idea of him being in the family was upsetting. I'm still not clear as to what they have against him, be it his somewhat sloppy personality, or his family's "ways". My mother said I was too young to make such a commitment, and my father forbid me to see Danny. I yelled at them, more furious than I have ever been in my life. I am eighteen, I yelled, you do not control my life any longer!
There was a caged tiger at the zoo that isn't there anymore because of what happened one summer. I was not there when it happened, but I witnessed it all on the news. The four-year old tiger, Dreamer, had lashed out at his feeder, killing him instantly. It shocked everyone, as this female tiger was usually peaceful. It seemed that the metal and concrete cage had finally suppressed her to the point of breaking. Something as lovely and free as Dreamer was not meant to be enslaved.
The Dreamer inside of me awakened. Hatred consumed me. My head was spinning. I usually do not let anger devour me with its hellish fire, but my parents had crossed the line. I lashed out and spilled out everything at them: how their ultra-conservative closed minds had never understood me, and never will; how they never seemed to fully accept Danny because they simply have formulated the insane idea that he is inferior to them; how they never seemed to accept me, their own daughter, and instead viewed me more of an embarrassment to their high-class snobby status; and among other things. If the school's Debate captain had heard my tirade, he would have thrown down his position and bowed before me. My voice rose into something unrecognizable, and I was seeing swirls of red. I wanted to be free of my cage.
I ran out of the house before they could do anything. I really wanted to grab my things and run away forever, but my parents probably would have bribed the FBI and CIA, and blackmailed everyone to turn me in. Instead, I fled toward the park, and collapsed in a densely forested area. My mind wandered, and I found myself drifting in and out of my thoughts, like they had on the swings twelve years ago. Life was so simple back then. I brought my knees up and wrapped my arms around them, and let the aggravated tears fall.
That's how Danny found me fifteen minutes later, like how he found me back in second grade. Sweet Danny. Super-hero Danny. Forever loving and caring Danny. My beautiful blue-eyed angel Danny. My fiancé, Danny, who didn't say a word, but sat down and embraced me. I was silently convinced then that everything was going to be all right. Life would go on, Danny and I would both be going to the same university in the fall, we would graduate four years later, and then, we would marry and start a life of our own.
Our graduation was bittersweet. It was like opening the floodgates, and letting life rush at you in a cool waterfall. Graduation was a time of morose, and a time of merriment. We were no longer children, but officially adults. Done for now were the late night cramming, espresso zombie mornings, drama-stricken hallways, firsts of everything, and futuristic worries. We did it; we were the Casper High School class of 2007.
Danny, Tucker, and I cheered at the end and embraced each other, along with our other classmates whom we have finally come into friendly terms with. Paulina actually evolved from a shallow puddle into a small lake, Dash and Kwan gave up bullying as a sport, Valerie abandoned her passion for ghost hunting, and Star grew a mind of her own. We've all changed so much within the past four years.
College seemed to fly by faster than high school. Danny and I both went to Amity Park University, while Tucker (that smart boy) was accepted into MIT. Danny, who still wanted to pursue his dream of becoming an astronaut, majored in aerospace engineering (with a secret side-minor in ghost-butt-kicking). Tucker also went into the field of engineering; although he changed his major so many times I honestly don't remember them all. I pursued a double major in Plant Biology and English, with a minor in Visual Arts. I wasn't really sure what I had wanted to do with that jumble of degrees, but I really enjoyed all of it.
Danny and I married a month after we graduated in May. It was a beautiful cheesy outdoor wedding, with Tucker as Best Man, and Jazz as the Maid in Honor. My parents came around to accepting Danny, and I still remember how my father's eyes shone with tears as he walked me down the aisle. My little Sammykins is all grown up now, I remember him saying, I'm proud of you.
Danny and I still remain the best of friends. We had shared everything from second-grade swinging contests to ghost-fighting to our share of heartbreaks and heart-mends. But only now, we share so much more—the same last name, and two beautiful raven-haired and blue-eyed children.
As I finish writing this, I'm not entirely sure what the entire point is. Maybe it's to keep reminding me of how far our love has grown, or maybe it's something we'll show our children one day and they can gag and laugh at our silly antics. Or maybe it's to show the world that you can never give up on love, because really, love is what makes the world go round.