Extremities & Depravity

Warnings: Explicit M/M, noncon

Disclaimer: Don't own Code Geass


Lelouch tugged on his collar, and Suzaku smiled from the other side of the classroom. Lelouch felt sick to his stomach.

Doubts began to emerge, smirking and sneering, mocking and malicious, but he willed them away. No. He had decided. That was all there was to it.

He could not think of the possible consequences.

When Lelouch arrived on the rooftop, Suzaku was already there, resting against the railing. His eyes were closed, and his chin was tilted toward the sky. Lelouch cleared his throat.

Suzaku's eyes snapped open. "Hi, Lelouch," he said with a grin. "I was just enjoying the breeze."

In most cases, Lelouch would have chuckled, maybe said something to the effect of, "Your head's always in the clouds." But not today. He swallowed and averted his eyes.

"So," Suzaku said, taking a few steps forward, "what was it you wanted to talk to me about?"

Lelouch opened his mouth. No words came out.

Naturally, Suzaku jumped to conclusions. "Is Nunnally okay?" The worry and anxiety was evident in his voice. Lelouch stifled a sigh. He couldn't keep him hanging.

"Yes, Nunnally's fine…"

"Are you in any sort of trouble?"

Lelouch looked up. His friend's eyes were wide and sincere. There was no guile, no pretense.

"No." Lelouch shook his head. "I—"

"I'll do anything I can to help!" Suzaku's tone was emphatic. "If it has something to with your gambling, I can—"

"Suzaku." Lelouch raised a hand, silencing the other boy. "It's nothing like that."

"Then what is it?"

For a second time, no words came. He meant to say something, but some impalpable force was blocking him.

It also didn't help that Suzaku's eyes were brimming with affection.

"Lelouch, you know you can tell me anything." He moved a few steps closer. "Whatever it is, I won't think any less of you."

"I like you."

Eyes widened as everything fell out of place.

"You…what…?"

Yes, Suzaku. Like. Not the buddy-buddy like but the butterflies-in-stomach kind. Do you like him? No, I like like him. That kind of like. The not-so-platonic variety. The kissing and hand holding like. The blushing and flushing and sidelong glances and nervous smiles like. The I-can't-get-him-out-of-my-head like.

And Lelouch was ashamed as the words left his mouth because he felt like some girl confessing to some guy she's "head-over-heels" for, and he always thought himself above such things. But he wasn't. He truly wasn't.

Seconds ticked by. Minutes ticked by. Suzaku was still in shock. How would he react?

Unsurprisingly, he took the denial route.

He put on a sheepish smile and said, "Lelouch…what do you mean?"

"You know full well what I mean." He had waited too long for this. He wasn't going to watch as Suzaku feigned stupidity.

The smile dropped. "Seriously?"

No, this was a joke. Ha. Ha. Couldn't he tell by the nonexistent punchline?

"Yes," Lelouch said, his eyes narrowing, "I'm being serious."

Now Suzaku was the one bereft of words. He opened and closed his mouth like a parody of a fish.

Lelouch cleared his throat. "Well…?" False bravado through and through.

The sheepish smile returned. Suzaku returned. His eyes were sympathetic.

Apologetic.

Oh, God.

"Lelouch, I'm sorry, but I don't feel the same way."

Silence.

"Um." Suzaku scratched the back of his neck. "I'm flattered, but I'm, you know…" He trailed off.

"Heterosexual." Lelouch finished for him.

"Uh, yeah," Suzaku said, laughing nervously. "I really am sorry."

"Don't apologize. I did this of my own volition." Lelouch looked off to the side as he said his next words. "I knew you might not feel the same way."

Suzaku took more steps forward. "Even though I might not feel the same way, I still care about you," he said, breaking into a sappy smile. "We'll always be friends."

Lelouch sighed. "Suzaku, there's no need to coddle me."

"But it's true! And if you were a girl, I would definitely date you."

Lelouch blinked. "Is that supposed to make me feel better?"

"Um, I guess not." Suzaku rubbed the back of his neck again.

Again, it was silent.

"Lelouch, can I ask you something?"

Lelouch gave a curt nod.

"Why do you like me?" Suzaku was smiling that innocuous, friendly smile of his. Lelouch swallowed.

"You're nice..." Lelouch trailed off but willed himself to continue. "And even though you can be thickheaded at times, you're very selfless. You care a lot about Nunnally, and you're…attractive, I suppose. Look, Suzaku, can we please just forget about this?"

"Forget about what?"

"Can you just promise me that you'll forget this ever happened? I don't want things—"

Lelouch was cut off when he was wrapped in a tight embrace. His arms hung limp at his sides, and, when Suzaku pulled back, he was wearing a dopey smile.

"What…was that for?" Lelouch asked, eyes wide, considering the possibility that his friend had gone crazy.

Suzaku only continued to smile. "We're friends, right?" He then placed a hand on Lelouch's shoulder. "And I promise."

And so they forgot.

But Lelouch never forgets.

A year passes, but it is still there
like a cherry bomb in a china cup
about to go off,
but not quite.

Now the world detests him,
and he shoulders this hatred with a smirk.
The Demon Emperor.
—the role suits him.

Perhaps that is what triggered this act of depravity.

He will be dead,
so what is there to lose?
He will be dead,
so who will be there
to pick up the shards?

"I love you," Lelouch said, pressing his lips hard against Suzaku's. Curls of unkempt hair tickled his forehead. He wrapped his hands around Suzaku's biceps, parting his lips. Their teeth clinked, and the sound echoed throughout the room. Lelouch pulled back, flushed.

Suzaku did not tease him about his incompetence. His expression was gentle, tranquil, and Lelouch caressed his cheek, smiling fondly.

He buried his face in the crook of Suzaku's neck and inhaled deeply. He smelled nice, warm, nostalgic, and bittersweet. Lelouch kissed the skin of his throat.

"Suzaku," he breathed, elongating the syllables.

Suzaku always complained how ridiculous his knight uniform was. Too flashy, he said. Too flamboyant. But Lelouch liked it, so he took care to remove the outfit without ripping or tearing it.

When the shirt came off, Lelouch's eyes widened. Bruises littered his friend's chest, covering his tan skin with gruesome blacks, blues, and purples. He had known, but hadn't known the full extent. He hadn't known it was this bad.

"I'm sorry," he whispered, brushing his fingertips lightly over the marred skin. Suzaku didn't wince or flinch. He did not look at Lelouch with accusatory eyes. His expression was calm, placid.

It took awhile to remove the rest of the clothing to the point that he began to think maybe Suzaku had a point. His own outfit was even more ornate and complicated to take off, but he eventually managed to get rid of it as well.

They were both naked, Lelouch's pale body juxtaposed against Suzaku's russet skin. He pressed more kisses against his compliant mouth, entwining their fingers together.

He pressed himself harder against him, wanting to feel closer, needing to feel warmer, and he did feel warmer. And as that heat traveled downward, the kisses became sloppier, leaving tracks of saliva down Suzaku's chin.

But Suzaku did not wrinkle his nose in disgust or wipe the spit away. His expression was relaxed, serene, and Lelouch continued to rut his cock against him, moaning shamelessly.

Suzaku's name became a mantra. It beat against his lips as he gasped and groaned and thrust against him, making his thighs sticky with pre-come. He bit the area between his shoulder and neck, but Suzaku did not whimper in pain, so he bit him again and again and again until he was on the verge of…

Lelouch pulled back, panting. His hand groped for the bottle on the table, and, when he found it, he squirted some of the substance on his fingers. He stood up, and, for a moment, he didn't move.

A feeling rose up in him, but he pushed it back. No. He had crossed the Rubicon long ago. There was no going back.

He spent a few minutes stretching him before coating his cock. The positioning was a little awkward. He kind of had to lift Suzaku's legs up, but he somehow managed.

And he thrust inside.

He gasped because it was so tight, and he had thought maybe it wouldn't be because of the—

"Suzaku. Suzaku. Suzaaaaaah…"

He wasn't gentle. Not at all. He slammed into him, his fingernails digging into his skin. Even when weariness began to overtake him, he did not falter. He just fucked Suzaku. In, out, in, out, and Suzaku did not say anything. Nothing at all.

Things began to rise up in him again, and this time he couldn't block them. There was a distinct stabbing in his chest and a horrible ache, but he still kept going. He kept going even as colors blurred together, and something wet fell on Suzaku's chest.

When he came, he almost expected Suzaku's eyes to fly open, but they did not. Lelouch choked on his final moan. Suzaku's face remained composed.

Even when Lelouch fell on top of him, he did not make a sound.

"Suzaku."

Lelouch yearned for those strong arms to wrap around him and hold him close so maybe the gnawing pain his chest wouldn't feel quite so painful. He longed for those lips to brush against his skin with feather light touches so maybe he wouldn't feel so raw, so broken.

But Suzaku did neither of these things.

He lay limp and incapacitated on the bed.


AN: When I posted this on my LJ, someone asked if Lelouch had killed Suzaku, and that isn't the case. I didn't make it very clear, but Lelouch drugged him. The prompt from the CG kink meme was two extremes: in the fluffy first part, Lelouch would confess his feelings to Suzaku and be gently turned down, and, in the second, Lelouch would let his demons take over during the Zero Requiem and have sex with Suzaku without his consent. I initially was going to have Suzaku be semi-conscious, but it seemed to work better having him completely unconscious.

Well, reviews/comments/criticism/critiques/flames/etc. are always welcome. :)